...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, June 04, 2007

because I probably have enough 'imaginary' friends...

“Oh! You have a MySpace page, don’t you?” my friend enthusiastically inquired during a recent telephone conversation. “You must get one! Since I set one up, I’ve totally quit studying and watching television! All I do when I’m on the computer now is kill hours on MySpace.”

“Surely you can’t think that’s a stellar endorsement for MySpace, right?" I asked. "‘Join our community and become a slacker!'’

This was to no avail, though. She's has been sucked in and I'm resigning myself to the fact that yet another of my friends is now pimping for this community website. At least two others are at me constantly to follow them into a realm I’ve shied away from like the dorky girl at the middle school mixers no one wants to dance with.

(Editorial comment No. 1 - The above metaphor may or may not be painfully accurate to my life. If you love me, you’ll not make a big deal about it. If you actually love me, I’m a little bit humbled and am perhaps blushing right now)

“Oh, you would love it!” she replied, not really answering me. “Seriously, it’s just lots of fun to hook up with people from your past. Besides, you’re so computer savvy, I’m shocked you don’t already have a page!”

(Editorial comment No. 2 – As with all of my “real life” acquaintances, my friend has no knowledge of my blog, therefore, she’s completely unaware of my raging inability to place a simple blog roll here. Therefore, to call me “computer savvy” is the best use of irony I can imagine)

“Sweetie, the impenetrable prison that is my resolve against peer pressure means you’re probably not going to break me on this issue. I got through my impressionable teen years without so much as taking a bong hit. Y
ou’d have to be pretty damn convincing to compel me to log any more time than I already do on a computer. Especially if you’re essentially saying MySpace sucks the soul out of you as easily as a lonely housewife getting her first hit of meth while the kids are in school. I’d have to think that wouldn’t be great for my borderline obsessive personality nor my stunning ability to just say no.”

(Editorial aside No. 3 – the above ‘housewife’ metaphor is definitely not about me. "Whew!" right?; however, I do have an obsessive personality, which is why my Rubbermaid containers are stacked symmetrically in the cupboard and the yogurt is organized by flavor, brand and expiration date in the fridge. Who are you to judge me, huh? Oh, OK, fine. Because all my toothpaste is stacked in the hall closet based on brand and size than fine, judging me is applicable)

“Well, if you had your own MySpace page, you could be my friend and we could talk,” was her reasoning.

Upon hearing that, I pulled the phone away from my ear and glanced at it briefly to assure myself I was using a device invented for sharing communication (also known as talking) with people. People, let's say for the sake of argument, who may be friends. When I returned it to my ear, I interrupted her.

“Um, sweetie? Aren’t we already friends? Don’t we talk a lot now? Face to face? When I want to see you – actually see you – isn’t it enjoyable for us to meet somewhere for coffee rather than logging onto a website to pass random thoughts back and forth as I view your family pictures cascading like rain down the screen, all set to the music of whatever Celine Dion song strikes your fancy that week?”

Clearly, my elaborately phrased question indicated to my friend that I had ventured into MySpace territory in the past. When she called me on it, I admitted I’d indeed been a voyeur a time or two. When another friend started raving about the website with such fervor I thought she’d pass out every time we spoke of it, I did search out her site. Alas, that other friend has used her MySpace page as a means of gathering up assorted men for "recreational activities," so why she continues trying to suck me in seems oddly uncomfortable. After viewing my other friend’s site (and feeling like I needed a shower afterward), it became clear to me rather quickly why I don’t have the desire to join in this particular sociological experiment. In addition to the "hooking up" aspect, my clarity includes the following -

- If I had a true desire to reconnect with the bitchy girls from my freshman year in high school, I’d go to my class reunions and sit smugly at the bar and make “fake nice” with them in the buffet line rather than send out computer requested “friend adds” in hopes they’d include me in their cliques.

- For the most part, I can spell correctly. For the handful of MySpace pages I’ve browsed, proper spelling and grammar is apparently of little use, and that sends my inner editor into a tangent that, honestly, is rather annoying for outsiders to witness.

- I honestly have no artistic appreciation for glittery graphics of fairies and unicorns, sleepy kittens urging me to “just hang in there,” or animated graphics of sloppy men vomiting or other such bodily things.

- The number of friends I have in real life can be easily counted on my fingers and toes. I feel that’s a pretty manageable number. Suddenly having to make nice with more than 200 people (assuming I wanted to be popular) seems like madness. This despite my obsessive personality and burning need to make sure everyone loves me!

I’m not about to judge the people who are enthralled with MySpace or the time they’ve devoted to their seizure-inducing layouts and clever musical choices, because honestly, I admit there have been moments when Blogger has come close to sucking the soul out of me. And don’t even get me started on the mind control properties I believe flickr possesses. I need no more computer-related vices in my life.

Besides, I rather enjoy watching television from time to time, and it's only slightly less mind numbing than I fear MySpace would be to me. However, I'm curious if any of you out there have a MySpace page and what it does for you, or why you've opted not to have one. Tell me all about it while I organize my silverware drawer and make sure all the towels are folded and put away crease side in, ok?


Blogger Nanette said...

Yes, I have one. But, it is not what you think. I only signed up to get some information about some rebates for my free computer. I can't even remember my login, maybe I'm deleted by now. Oh, and I went there a time or 40 to check up on the carver from nip/tuck.

Agreed. Just what we need, another way to zap all of our time and minds. :) Dinner, thursday?


Monday, June 04, 2007 4:19:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Lets just say I know people who have Myspace pages....
That you don't have one... ahhhhh listen to all the music you wish... you have just been put in up at the tops of my lustable list...
nibbles and stuff you sexy type, obsessive, manx you...

Monday, June 04, 2007 5:05:00 AM  
Blogger JUnderCovers said...

What I don't like about MySpace is mainly that it's so FUGLY! Every page is a giant mess, and I honestly can't figure out what you're supposed to do or where to go. As a web developer, it ruffles my feathers that such a poorly designed and organized site would become so popular. So I'm boycotting it for professional reasons. That and the fact that I have all the friends I need through my blog and World of Warcraft.

Monday, June 04, 2007 6:55:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

I have a MySpace page [or an account I should say] and that's only so I can check in on my two teenagers who do have a MySpace page.

I'm not real sociable, so the less I really have to talk to people the better for everyone involved.

Monday, June 04, 2007 7:20:00 AM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

I'm with jundercovers - I don't have a page but have seen them and they are ugly. It looks messy. And to your point, grammar and spelling are horrible, which kills me.

Who in their right mind judges their friendships through something like that?

And honestly, the crap you put up there WILL catch up with you the next time you are job hunting... which is why I am anonymous online! :)

Monday, June 04, 2007 8:50:00 AM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Yeah, I'm fighting the feeling, too. I know plenty of folks that have fallen to the dark side, but I shan't go there. I have enough other vices, I need not add one more. Between blogging myself and visiting the sites I frequent, I spend more time online than a working mom of three really should. (Wow...apparently, I don't need my mother to run guilt-trips on me any longer...the auto-pilot feature has kicked in...)

Monday, June 04, 2007 8:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like kimmyk I have MySpace just to spy on my brats, er, teenage daughters who both have accounts there. Same goes for xanga, got one of those for the same purpose.

Spying vs good parenting. You make the call!

Monday, June 04, 2007 9:26:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...


Monday, June 04, 2007 9:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife is obsessed with my kid's MySpace pages and that's enough for one household. Just to warn you, if I should ever come over for a visit I will probably sneak into the kitchen and rearrange your yogurt containers. I'm just mean that way.

fkvilatp (you always come through for me)

Monday, June 04, 2007 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger George said...

Not now, not ever. If I ever wanted to hook up with a holes from my high school days ... no forget that too, they weren't worth it than and certainly aren't worth it now.

Monday, June 04, 2007 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

You make me feel so bad now! I'm ashamed to say that I do have a Myspace page. I never really go there thogh. I got it about a year ago so that I could se my sister's page and my cousins. They both have it set to private. It has been so long since I have been there that just yesterday I got an email saying that I needed to change my password because I was phished, and someone was sending things with my name. So all in all I'm not happy with the site at all. Plus I get so much CRAP sent to me that I don't want or need. That is sent to the account not my email. Also for the reason that RS indicated I'm as anonymous there as I am here. Meaning I don't use my real name, nor do I allow the people that see my page to use it either.

Way to go on not caving. In hind sight I wish I had noy caved as well. It is nothing but a huge pain in the ass!

Monday, June 04, 2007 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Rug's Bug said...

This is hilarious that you posted about this today. Of all days.

I have a MySpace account. But no page. And like Nanette I don't even remember my login or anything about it. But! Today in my email box was two messages inviting me to someone else's MySpace page. I'm like, "What the?"

And BTW, do you get as tired as I do running around after the hubby and kids and putting the toothpaste boxes and yogurts back into the proper order?

Monday, June 04, 2007 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

I have one. I got it to keep an eye on my teens. It's pretty much a blank page and I haven't logged onto it in months. It was easier and only slightly less painful to log directly into their accounts (after stealthily aquiring their passwords) I hate myspace. HATE it. Besides, I'm already a slave to Blogger and Flickr


Monday, June 04, 2007 3:17:00 PM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

My friend Charlotte recently told me I just HAVE to created a myspace page. It will be SOOOO fun! We can leave ALL KINDS of funny messages for each other.

I was a bit surprised, because I had previously thought only kids in junior high and online predators hang out there (there's always a story on the news about that). Apparently I was wrong.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 10:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, Ive got me a myspace page. I had it a while ago because my sis in law had one and you have to create an acct in order to view some stuff. It sat unadorned for a LONG time. Then, last Aug while I was recovering from surgery, I started playing with the page out of boredom. It's kinda pretty now. I still dont have a clue what to do there other than comments. I use it now primarily to keep track of all the youngins in the family and their social goings on. Cause Im nosey like that.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nanette - You already know I'm in love with you, but now you clinch it with the Nip/Tuck thing. I wonder if I start driving now if I'll be there in time for dinner Thursday....

Savage - Your remarks seem to allude I didn't already have a stranglehold on the top spot on your list! I'll have to go listen to some Hanson while I contemplate that, mister.

J - Fugly is definitely it. I can't bear to look at pages of kissing children dressed as adults and weepy looking kittens, tiled over and over. Obviously, based on the looks of things here, I go for plain. But then, I have no computer skills!

kimmyk - Welcome over. I can totally see the reasons you would have an account. I imagine if my boys were teenagers, I'd definitely have an account. I've browsed your site few times and enjoyed your writing. Thanks for coming here and commenting.

RS - Who judges their friendships based on that? People who apparently think 500 people, including rock stars, are their friends and can say nothing beyond "Hey, man! Thanks for the add!" I'm a bit more chatty. And marginally veiled!

SuperWife - We may be sister, ripped away from each other in childhood. My mom only need look at me and I'm a wreck for a good week. Actually having her speak her peace about me to me sends me on a tailspin!

XI - Is it bad if a part of me looks forward to the spying part of parenting? Because dude, seriously, I love to look around in people's stuff.


Finished - Um, I will unleash the fury of hell upon you if you so much as reach for the yogurt, mister... (here's where I'd put a smiley face emoticon of my keyboard wasn't totally jacked!)

George - High school is basically the worst sociological experiment we can unleash upon adolescents. That's my opinion, anyway. No one digs high school.

Confused - Oh! I didn't intend to make anyone feel bad! I shall hold strong in my resolve against this site, especially with what you've said about it now!

Rug's - I jacked into your email account yesterday and found out your MySpace issues and decided to write about it. I can't do anything creative on a blog page, but I have the ability to worm into people's computers. Yep. I'm stealth.

Actually, I have no time for that kind of tactic because I *am* so busy chasing after the boys and my husband! It's exhausting trying to maintain this level of perfection to meet my needs!

Stacie - Between blogging, YouTube and flickr, I could pretty much tether myself to the computer. I dread the teen years when my boys discover whatever version of MySpace is out there and I then have to monitor them. But I will. By then I hope we have computer chips lodged in our brains. It would same me a lot of time.

Therese - EXACTLY! When my friend suggested it, this sensible 30 year old with a husband and three kids and a busy life, I thought the very same thing. I actually asked her if she talked to anyone above the age of 15 on there, and if not, suggested she seek help!

Terry - I'm surprised my friend, who truly can't send an email to save her life, has created a page that is full of graphics and sound and photos. Which makes me wonder if it's all set up for you somehow, but I still am resisting the siren's call!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 10:38:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I don't have a MySpace page. If I've lost contact with someone over the years, it's usually for a reason and I'm not looking to "reconnect."

It's a wonder I have any friends.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 12:05:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

my lustable list has two names... Yours and yours... you topped yourself....

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 12:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, it's not bad at all. I can relate with the spying thing. I looked forward to having teens for several years just so that I ..... would not have to worry about Queenie spying on me all the time and deleting my e-mails! Now she only has time to spy the daughters so I can breathe easy.

I fear that once the girls move out it may start again. Anyonegot a teenager I could borrow for a few years?

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Savage - So what you're saying here is this list was steeped in a little 'girl on girl' action. Which is interesting, if in fact I did actually topple over msyelf to scratch my way to the top.

XI - Deleting your emails? Wow. What kind of emails are you getting aside from spam and lawyers representing deceased Nigerian businessmen who have named you in their wills? Because I never get anything worth such censorship!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007 1:09:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Chag - You've pretty much summed up my entire existence in one nice little sentence!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007 1:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's where I confess that I led you on. Intentionally.

Nothing as nefarious as censorship, she just had an obsession that 'required' her to delete any e-mails that had been read. Whenever she peeked into my e-mail and read something that was no longer marked as unread (i.e. anything I had already seen) she would automatically delete it assuming it was no longer needed. It did mean that I had to mark everything I wanted to save as unread and move everything to other folders to keep from losing 'em.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007 9:25:00 AM  
Blogger Lady Let said...

Hello Girl, I have to admit that I do have a MySpace account... which I hate. The reason is that my sister in law and the rest of my husband's family in England asked us to set that page so that (they said) we can keep in touch, see pictures, etc..
No way...
I really don't use it. I found it extremely MESSY as almost everyone here already expressed.
And my inbox is permanentely bombarded with emails of people who either want to offer me something or with no very clear intentions... lol
Too much... I am a mother of 3, I work from 9 to 6 as a secretary, I am already struggling to find some time to blog, a MySpace page??? nahh, I want to keep my right mind...

Thursday, June 07, 2007 7:28:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

XI - Good to know it's not some stealth, ninja like stuff going on there.

LadyLet - Thanks for the visit and comment! It's interesting. You're not the first person to mention all the junk mail and bombardments they get since creating a MySpace account. My friends who are pushing me to do this NEVER mention that part! Further incentive to just say no!

Friday, June 08, 2007 12:36:00 AM  

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