...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

i believe it was kanye west who said, 'N-n-now that that don't kill me can only make me stronger'

So here we are, just over a week into Unemployment Beard Watch 2012, and it's coming in quite nicely. Oh, not MINE! Mine is still a bit sparse, but last night I did pluck a white hair from my jawline that was so long I briefly considered spinning it into a cozy blanket we could huddle under should our heat get turned off because we couldn't pay the bill.

Oh, I kid, of course. I refuse to believe things will get that bad. Mostly because I don't know how to crochet. Thank heaven for our mild winter so far!

(I wish I was kidding about that hair, though. Seriously, it was so freakishly long, I figure if we don't have work by November, I could pick up a part-time gig as a mall Santa)

Just before our world exploded last week, I was preparing to write a 'woe is me, nothing made me happy this week, wah wah wah' post. Boo hoo, I was diagnosed with my very first bladder infection. Oh, yeah? Well your baby boy turned 10, too. Double digits. How's that make you feel? Pretty sad, huh? Well guess what? BOOM! Let's get fired (clap, clap, clapclapclap!)! That's a kick in the gonads, gut, and teeth, but you better duck because, whoops! No insurance!

We're still in the process of figuring things out. The hours remaining for the lying bastards He Who Shall Not Be Called Tool Man Any Longer once worked for to contest his unemployment benefits are waning. We're waiting on a DHS appointment for assistance, and options are being explored. In the meantime, the garage I once loathed because it harbored box after box of crap from his employer is being cleaned out (we seriously celebrated finding 23 pennies on the floor, but not nearly as much as we did a few days later when Unemployed Man plucked a dollar from the snow at church Sunday. God provides!)

I'm looking for a second job, and hope to take on a short term writing job with our church. Neither option is going to make us financially comfortable during this transition period, but we're doing everything we can think of.

We're also appreciating all the kindness and good thoughts being given to us. If nothing made me happy last week, this week has been overwhelming, starting with the stranger I approached to help at the store last Thursday who insisted I enjoy a free Godiva chocolate bar she'd purchased ("I will take this home and feed it to my family, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-style!" I cried)(Not really. I did cry, though. Damn, last week was rough.). That sort of kindness has continued this week Friends and family have delivered bags of groceries and dog food to our door, and slipped money into my purse. The words and prayers all of you (welcome, strangers!) offered me mean a lot, too, and I regret not having the emotional stamina to thank you all personally. Please know I do, and if you have more - or, better yet, a job! - I will appreciate them, as well.

I still cry a lot, don't get me wrong, but when I'm done, I look at what our family and friends have stepped in to do and I am determined to pay it back AND pay it forward when we once again can.

I just hope it's soon. I thought I was already strong, but clearly I'm not strong enough because I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

(But at least they'll be warm, thanks to this chin hair shawl...)



Blogger Logical Libby said...

You can always rely on the kindness of strangers. Well, not really, but it seemed like the quote to use...

Keep your head up. And you should have just burned that stuff in your garage.

Thursday, February 02, 2012 7:04:00 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

I got more prayers. Really, it's not a problem. You just let me know when you don't need 'em anymore. . .


Honestly, I know this is a pretty freaky time, but it seems like you're goin' after it as best you can.

Keep hangin' in there; I'm pullin' for ya. . .

Thursday, February 02, 2012 7:09:00 PM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

Love you, FADKOG. That is all!

Thursday, February 02, 2012 7:26:00 PM  
Blogger Just Two Chicks said...

I'm a new follower, and can't really remember whose blog I found you from, but I'm sorry to come in when you're having such a difficult time. I haven't read through enough to know where you live, but since you're saying you're having a mild winter, I assume you're up north.

I was going to suggest housekeeping, because here, you could totally make it by doing that. I did it when I first got divorced and wasn't getting child support. Very scary times, but it was perfect because I was able to set my own hours, attend school, and depending on how much work I did, I could make up to 500 a week!!

I know these are just words, but things will turn around... just know that, and know to never, ever ask how things could get worse, because God will show you how... just have the faith, and the know how to make it better :)

Thursday, February 02, 2012 8:03:00 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

You *are* already strong, keep believing in that.

Prayers and hugs are continuing, and God bless all those strangers & family that are a little closer to give that more concrete help.

Thursday, February 02, 2012 9:54:00 PM  
Blogger lime said...

i'd never wish hardship on you but i am glad that in the midst of it you are finding so many blessings from so many people. big hugs, more prayers.

Friday, February 03, 2012 9:19:00 AM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

much love to you today!

and while not trying to "fix" things-- hate it when people do that to me... but is there any non-work related crap in the garage to sell on craiglist? i went through my house last spring and put anything not tied down on craigslist to make some $. i also sold my gold jewelry b/c gold was high. just thoughts.

praying for you. xo

Friday, February 03, 2012 9:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We survived 16 months apart from employment, hang in there and continue to rely on friends and family for support.

Every state is different but hopefully there will be sufficient support programs to bridge the gaps for you.

Prayers for sure ...

Friday, February 03, 2012 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Much love!
Hoping for a quick round of unemployment and then bam! Job city. Thinking of you guys.
We have been there, and come out the other side. Still married, all kids alive, amen.
XO ;-)

Friday, February 03, 2012 4:07:00 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

I was looking at the comments and there are definitely a few good ideas...ones I should consider myself!

I certainly have been thinking about your family and if I can't offer anything more, you have my prayers.

Love to you.

Saturday, February 04, 2012 7:02:00 AM  
Blogger cat said...

My husband was unemployed for over a year and I didn't know what we were going to do. When he finally found work, three months later my place went on strike. We only had 3 months to accumulate a year's loss of money before we were down to one working person again. It's been very rough, but I have to admit that my priorities changed a lot in the last 2 years and I found myself being VERY thankful and appreciative of those real friends and family members who helped us out.

it also helped having blog friends. I kid you not.

So we're here for you. All of us (as I speak for the masses in the comment section).

Saturday, February 04, 2012 8:22:00 AM  
Blogger justmakingourway said...

What I can't figure out is HOW those hairs get SO LONG without our noticing them!?!? That's screwed up.

It's amazing what strength you can find when you think you have none. I know it's dark right now, and I'm not going to spout any cliches about silver linings. Just remember that we are all here to lend support in any way we can. Even if it's just to say we love you and are thinking of you all!

Saturday, February 04, 2012 8:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah yes, gotta love chin hairs. I know what those darn pigs were talking about. The hairs on my chinny chin chin are amazing!

I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed and send you plenty of hugs. You've got this!

Monday, February 06, 2012 1:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Pam said...

It's one of life's sad ironies that when you hit the chin hair age your eyesight starts to fail. You just can't see them until they are near elbow length. I bought a magnifying mirror that makes the smallest hair look like a stalactite (or stalagmite, depending). The problem is that it makes everything else look equally horrifying, but those are the trade-offs we make.
I know there are better days ahead and I have my fingers and toes crossed for sooner rather than later.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012 12:57:00 AM  
Blogger Roland Hulme said...

The best and truest advice I ever got given fits well for situations like yours:

"The only way out is through."

Keep plugging away. Keep trudging forward. Never stop; because ultimately life will realize it can't stop you and will surrender.

This time next year your life will be better than it's ever been before; and you'll realize this time of struggle was needed to reach a higher point.

Keep the faith!

Tuesday, February 07, 2012 8:52:00 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

When you get down in the dumps (I understand ~ my hubby was canned too)don't forget music. A little Train is bound to help. And a soy latte.
Saying prayers for you and your family.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012 2:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Cody said...

Nice post which The hours remaining for the lying bastards He Who Shall Not Be Called Tool Man Any Longer once worked for to contest his unemployment benefits are waning. We're waiting on a DHS appointment for assistance, and options are being explored. Thanks a lot for posting this article.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012 8:50:00 AM  

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