...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

i make you laugh? i'm here to *&#%@* amuse you? what do you mean funny? funny how?

You know that feeling of pride and delight you have when your child toddles over to you, hands you a stack of books, then crawls up on your lap and asks you to read those books to him? The way you sigh a little as you smile at your child because you just don't know if you have it in you to read Goodnight Moon, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, or Dante's Inferno one more time, but you do? Because you love your child, and, deep down, you hope with every page you flip, with every moment you spend saying goodnight to everything in your house or using a super hyper voice to tell your child that if, on Saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake and one slice of watermelon, he, too, would have a stomachache just like one very ravenous caterpillar (But that, yes, Daddy can eat that way because he's a grown up, even though he probably shouldn't, and besides, Daddy doesn't even like cherry pie, which wth? Who doesn't like cherry pie?), what you're doing is sharing your own love of reading with your child?

Then one day, your little literary lover comes to you and says, "Mother, might we venture off to the library so that I might procure my own library card with which I might use to discover a vast and interesting world and go on amazing adventures, all through the magic of book?" and you think to yourself, "Wow, all those times we read Emily Post's Guide to Good Manners For Kids (a.k.a. No, David! ) have really paid off!" So you bundle up your progeny and you tarry off to the library (not to be confused with The Liberry, where said progeny's Daddy, the one who doesn't like cherry pie, but who does love sammiches, would drive around looking for before giving up and coming home sans library, or liberry, card), where you watch him as his eyes widen in delight at all the books that await him.

But then you realize, ha ha! Jokes on you!

Literally.

Because your child beelines straight for the kid's humor section, and within a matter of minutes, he's leading a pack mule up to the check out counter and plopping down joke book after joke book, and suddenly you realize those nights when he'd tug at the back of your shirt and ask "Are You My Mother?" and you'd turn around and be all, "Well, of course I'm your mother? Have you seen us? Dude, we look exactly alike! I'm sorry for that time I tore through the house and was yelling how I wish I didn't know any of you. I thought we were good about that already. Who told you I wasn't your Mother? Did your Grandma tell you that?" and then you'd glance down and see both his scared eyes AND the book with said title in his tiny little hands and know those are over. Completely over.


Now reading time is better known by it's alternative title, Evening At The Improv.

Or maybe that's just at my house, where my youngest son has been hitting the stage every night at 7:15 (just after his bath, so you can trust he works clean, folks) and launches into a 45-minute routine that often has me glancing toward the kitchen, hoping to catch the attention of the waitress to refill my drink order because it's time for Mommy to start double-fisting the martinis. Except dammit, I'm the waitress, and I don't have a clue how to make a martini. Plus, if I got up to go try and figure out how to make one, little Dane Cook up on stage over there would heckle me, and I do not like to be made fun of. Especially by some wise cracking 6-year-old.

Which is why last night I was front row center for the latest show. The Funny One had been to the school library earlier that day and brought home a new joke book. Two hundred pages of silly riddles and knock-knock jokes! Awesome! He started his act with silly riddle number 1.

"What did one hammer say to the other hammer?" he asked, smirking at me, his audience, and building up anticipation. "I just broke a nail!"

Dammit if I didn't laugh, because that, ladies and gentlemen, is comedy gold. At least just a bit of it, and, well, my laughing at it meant that my son was going to continue to work on his bit.

"What can you do to help a sick bird? Get it tweeted!"

"What's Dracula's favorite dish? The quiche of death!" (this one was followed by a quick explanation of what quiche is).

"What do hairdressers do at the end of their lives? They curl up and dye!" (this, btw, is the boy's edgier material).

The jokes were so hilarious, it was as if time was flying. Except there weren't any old men tossing alarm clocks out the window to see if they sprouted wings, so not really.

(get it? heh, heh, heh...)

As he began to wind down his act, my son thanked me for being such a great audience, told me he'd be playing a two-night run at his grandparent's house next weekend, and rewarded me with a couple stellar knock-knock jokes which I jotted down on my cocktail napkin in order to share with you.

"Knock knock! Who's there? Hutch! Hutch who? Sounds like you're coming down with a nasty cold!"

"Knock knock! Who's there? Lego! Lego me and I'll tell you who!"

"Knock knock! Who's there? Kerry! Kerry who? Kerry me upstairs, would ya? I'm pooped!"

And because he capped off his show with a poop joke, Sir Silly doubled over in tear-inducing laughter, so very delighted in himself as the stage lights dimmed. Using his last joke as a cue, I brought out my giant hook and pulled him off stage left.

If you're interested in catching his act, he puts on an early bird show around 4 p.m. daily, mostly just trying out new material ("Why was the clumsy cook fired? She spilled the beans!" didn't really go over too well). The longer show fires up no later than 7:30 p.m. I'll save you a seat. You'll know me because I'll be the one waving a copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar in the air, asking the headliner if we can maybe just read that tonight instead.

"Knock knock! Who's there? Julius who? Julius just jealous because I know all the good jokes!"

Enjoy the show. Be sure to tip your non-existent waitress.

Labels:

64 Comments:

Anonymous DC Urban Dad said...

Holy crap, I am never first.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:45:00 AM  
Anonymous DC Urban Dad said...

You should totally YouTube that or get him on Twitter.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:48:00 AM  
Blogger Heinous said...

My son will tell the same joke for five minutes straight. Over and over again. and laugh. I have to walk away. He's gotta learn sometime, right?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:54:00 AM  
Blogger buffi said...

Do you have a camera in my house?

To really get the full experience, you must have a four-year-old sibling listening as well & then telling his own versions of the jokes - "Why did the leaves fall off the trees? THEY WERE ON THE GROUND! hhahahahaha!" And don't get me started on the attempted knock-knock jokes.

Oh, yeah, a half hour of that will drain a bottle of vodka very quickly.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 10:02:00 AM  
Anonymous bejewell said...

Hey, this reminds me -- Have you heard about that guy who lost the entire left half of his body in a freak accident but still lived to tell about it?

He's all right now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 10:18:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

You're so funny, FADKOG. Now we know where you get it from!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 10:18:00 AM  
Anonymous WaltzInExile said...

First, wth, you and I obviously are the victims of a nefarious altar-switching of husbands, because nobody in this house BUT Daddy likes freakin' cherry pie. So send my sane man back, please, and I'll ship yours off today.
Now that we've taken care of that, how is it that I always forget about the curative powers of a well-stocked bar...? I'm obviously parenting the completely wrong way. Was there a book I missed? Is it because I took Bradley classes instead of Lamaze? Is it too freaking late for a seminar?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 10:50:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Fadkog, you're my cherry pie.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:01:00 AM  
Blogger PAPATV said...

Perfect way to start my day.

a fish was swimming and hit a wall. what did he say?

Dam.

i want more jokes!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:16:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis Renée said...

The correct answer to "Are You My Mother:"

SNORT!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

A sampler of 8M's comedic gift:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yogi Bear.

Yogi Bear who?

YOGI BEAR IN HIS UNDERWEAR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

And, you know, we have six people besides his august self sharing the space under our roof, so he will relentlessly proceed through the entire house, making sure that no-one is denied the benefit of his talent. . .

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:27:00 AM  
Blogger DCD said...

My 5yr old will tell the, "Knock, knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who?" FOREVER!! Repeating the "banana" part about 50 times before getting to, "Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Check, please!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:36:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Laughing so hard at the descriptions, I can Sooooo remember it- when the eldest, then the next, and the next, and then (finally) the youngest all had to have the time on stage.

*SNORT* is right, and stop asking if I'm your mother!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:54:00 AM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

Okay, so I just had to get that out of the way. I thought I was 100% healthier, but when I shouted out that I missed you, I ended up having a coughing fit. It's best if I remain at least one state away from you still. I'll only stalk you from Nebraska now. I'll fly there later tonight.

I was reading "Are You My Mother" to my son and he started asking me all sorts of questions if he was left in a nest and that's how we adopted him. I was floored that he was so interested in it at only age three. It's still a difficult read for us because he's becoming more and more aware that he might not look exactly like me or his father.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

Oh yeah, I totally can't leave a serious comment over here after not stalking you for a few days, so I thought I'd let you know that my security word for my last comment was "waxybun". I would expect no less from my FADKOG! I missed you! MWAH! (You might want to santize your hands before you catch that kiss....)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:59:00 AM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

Last nights bathroom scene: Mom how do you spell IP? Me: IP isn't a word. Him: Well if it were, how would you spell it? Me: I Pee Him: hahahahaha you peed!!!!

Wanna take our two on the road together? We could make some serious coin.

I adored this post. :)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:04:00 PM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

My 4 year old came up with this one...

Knock, Knock - Who's There?
Hoof. Hoof Who?
Hoof Arted!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Bwhahahahaha!

Jokes that just aren't funny. I know how that goes. My youngest likes the one wherein he gags himself JUST TO MAKE ME SCREAM AT HIM TO STOP GAGGING HIMSELF.

Is it any wonder my hair is going grey?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:24:00 PM  
Blogger Chris Wood said...

That's how Bill Hicks got started!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

I am, ashamedly so, experiencing some satisfaction that another parent has fallen prey to the KnockKnock.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c...

MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

That'll impress him ;)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:32:00 PM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

At least he has the good sense to end with a poop joke. Sends everybody home a winner.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:46:00 PM  
Blogger kaila said...

Mine isn't into telling jokes yet for some reason. All he talks about are burps & farts. He and a neighbor boy were outside playing ball last night when I heard neighbor boy ask "Did you fart?" and my son responded "Yes, I farted, and it was lovely."

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:49:00 PM  
Anonymous goodfather said...

Hahahahahahahah!!!!!

"Knock knock! Who's there? Hutch! Hutch who? Sounds like you're coming down with a nasty cold!"

I LOVE stupid knock-knock jokes! I had never heard that one before! I will now use it on my whole family. A LOT. Thank you!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:50:00 PM  
Blogger Chas said...

My son keeps plying me with the laffy taffy from his Halloween stash (after he's had his share and can eat no more) for the sole purpose of reading the jokes on the rapper. My waistline should probabl help him find a joke book at the library.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 1:21:00 PM  
OpenID blissfullycaffeinated said...

Yeah, this is one of those things that no one tells you before you have kids. They will tell awful jokes and expect you to laugh like it's the funniest thing you've evr heard. At least I haven't gotten to the night club act segement of my children's development.

How do you keep Seth at bay during these cocktail hours?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 1:49:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

He's got a long way to go until he's as hilarious as his mother...

Helena takes after her father in this respect - she's as hopeless as I am at jokes.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 2:03:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

REally, who doesn't like cherry pie? You married a crazy man.

What a mother, sitting through all those jokes. You're much more patient and devoted than I could ever be. I'd stab myself in the eye or fake a heart attack to get outta that. And I would do it with love.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 2:23:00 PM  
Anonymous WaltzInExile said...

When I commented this morning, I realized how grateful I was that Goat #1 hadn't yet discovered joke books.
And then he came home from school. Where today he apparently found a joke book.
For the love of all that's holy, woman, stop sending psychic blog waves at my son. Unless tomorrow's post is going to be about how your six year old finally decided to stop tormenting his little sister. Capisce?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 2:29:00 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Once upon a time, before the Child, we were in London visitng Harrod's (i.e. spending too much money on awesome Scotch and Christmas Crackers and NOT buying any Burberry...stuff...) and we looked over where a young boy was pulling on his father's leg to get his attention. The young boy, once the attention was in the offing, asked:

"Are we allowed to go up to the toy shoppe now?"

I could hear him pronounce the "pe" silently, that's how very Dickensian he seemed to me. And then and there Emily was determined to have little English kids.

So at some point I have to figure out how we can raise Erin in London for a few years, just so she can learn how to express herself in that adorable way that only a deprived English child can do.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 2:31:00 PM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

Darn, someone beat me to the "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

I love puns, it's my absolute downfall, but give me a corny joke, and I will bust a gut every time.

Oh, and I will TOTALLY teach you how to make a good martini!! It's easier than you think, and YUM!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 2:54:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

What's a ghosts' favorite meal?
Spooketti

What's a ghost's favorite desert?
Boo Berries.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You neek up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way you neek up on it.

Where do daisy's sleep?
In flower beds.

you can thank me later.
I don't like cherry pie either.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 3:50:00 PM  
Blogger Ms Picket To You said...

the shows is my house have lately been of the dance routine variety. it's getting kind of hoochie mama which makes the cocktail all the more appropriate.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 4:33:00 PM  
Blogger cIII said...

The Goat is also a Fan of the joke books. And that has been it....until....

Last night, before sitting down to her birthday dinner, she asked me..'Dad. Why did the Toilet get in the Car?"
"Dunno, Goat. Why?"
"It wanted to go to Assville."
"hahahahahahahahahahahahahah."

Keepin mind we had, not too long ago, come back from visiting her Grandad and Grandmarn in ASHville, NC.

So. If'n your Young'un ever needs an opening Act....holla. I'll understand if the Material is too Blue though.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 4:44:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

This is a classic Martini.

Ingredients

* Dry Vermouth
* 2 ounces gin, chilled

Directions

Pour a little bit of dry vermouth in a chilled martini glass and swirl to

coat the inside of the glass. Dispose of excess vermouth. In a shaker full of ice,

gently swirl or stir the gin before straining into glass.

Serving suggestion: Garnish with olives, lemon twist or cocktail onion.

There are several variants... personally I prefer a Martini Perfect but eh.. I'd have to go into more Mixology than I prefer while not having all the required martini making ingredients and accoutrements....


If my parents would have heard the jokes I was telling at the age of 6 I'd probably have a Stockholm syndrome-like need for the washing of my mouth out with soap....

Oh yeah. Much with the lust for you....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 5:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Sammanthia said...

Woo Hoo!!! I'm 36th!!!
I've had to listen to my share of knock knock jokes and I always laugh hysterically because it's expected of me. Now that Ryerson has discovered the joy of of having his own stand up routine, I get to listen to jokes like this...

Rye: What did the refrigerator say to the stamp?
Me: Um, I dunno.
Rye: Get off me! I don't want you to poopy on my head!

It's all about the poop when you've got boys, isn't it?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 6:23:00 PM  
Blogger Chat Blanc said...

so this is how comedians are created! niiiiice.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 6:44:00 PM  
Blogger Sherendipity said...

I hope no one, in the 37 comments above, said this one, cause it's my favourite:

What kind of bees make milk?

boobies!!!

Bwahahahahahahahaha

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 7:53:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

I agree, YouTube him for us!!! I would love to spend some time laughing at something other than: "Knock knock! Who's there? Apple! Apple who? Apple pineapple!"

What? You dont get it? Well then join the club. It is the 5 liner my 6 year old has thought was funny for well over 3 years now.

Maybe the YouTube video could teach my little love bug some new material...

Are you my mother?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 8:10:00 PM  
Blogger Shonda Little said...

I kinda love this kid!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 8:35:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Shame on me, but I love those jokes. "Kerry me upstairs, I'm pooped" was a home run. Love it. Enjoy many more!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:53:00 PM  
Blogger Seriously Mama said...

Hilarious! We haven't gotten to the funny jokes yet. We are still at "Knock, Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Purple."

;-)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:14:00 PM  
Blogger TattooedMinivanMom said...

I don't like cherry pie.

But I love all of the David Shannon books. Especially the page with David burping.

I was witness to a Hawaiian drum solo, ukelele song, skateboard routine, scooter extravaganza yesterday.

Whatever you do, don't introduce him to go-gurts or popsicles. Corny jokes galore I tell you.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:20:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

This post cracked me up! I even read the whole thing aloud to Hubs cause every night, we have to read "The Very Hungry Caterpillar!" I am so sick of listening to this book that i could puke, but at least they are still letting us read to them right? lol Cracks me up!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 11:29:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

It's all fun and games until he starts into the puns - then you've gotta watch 'em!

Thursday, November 13, 2008 12:05:00 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

I loved that post! My son has moved from knock knock jokes, to trying to get me laughing by saying BAD WORDS. It's just not the same.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 5:56:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

When two of my cousins were younger, they would tell us jokes they made up. Of course, they NEVER made sense, but we would laugh anyway. =D It was actually probably funnier than real jokes.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 7:19:00 AM  
Blogger Pacing the Panic Room said...

just keep him away from the "prop comedy" the world does not need another "carrot top". Pretty smart to end on the I'm pooped joke.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 8:27:00 AM  
Blogger Madame Queen said...

My 5 year-old's current favorite joke? Who puts the mummy to bed every night? HIS mummy! Followed by hysterical giggles and rolling about on the floor.

My favorite joke? Why did the elephant paint his toenails? So he could hide in a bowl of M&M's. Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of M&M's? Works, doesn't it?

Thursday, November 13, 2008 9:11:00 AM  
Blogger flutterby said...

Dane Cook? In your living room?

Send him over. Now.

Or did I read that part wrong? :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008 9:37:00 AM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

A good poop joke never fails. Is he available for weddings? Bar mitzvahs? Hosting the Oscars?

Thursday, November 13, 2008 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Sheesh! I just noticed yer Label line. . .

(*swoon*)

Thursday, November 13, 2008 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Why must you remind me of the 8 LEGGED DINNER PLATE!!!!

Hallie

Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

My very favorite joke of all time told to me by a 3.5 year Old (she’s 5 now) was:

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing. It just let out a little whine!

I laughed half my butt cheek off…

And then I wondered who told her about WINE??

Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Don Mills Diva said...

Oh my.

I better start praticing my fake laugh now I guess.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:45:00 AM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

wow after reading your post and all the commnets I don't need to pay for the comedy club we were thinking of going to this weekend. Let me get my wine glass and I'll be right back to read and laugh again.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:46:00 AM  
Blogger Chag said...

Every time I read The Hungry Caterpillar to my son, I feel we should be running a shoe string through the holes in the food. Is it just me?

And um, add me to the list of those that don't like cherry pie. I like the song, but not the dessert.

And I am soooo stealing some of your son's jokes.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 12:53:00 PM  
Blogger MereCat said...

That's actually pretty damn good. How adorable, but maybe not to you. I"m at the read it again and again stage, but we don't even dig the hungry caterpillar. Our revue is more like this ragged oldie but goodie called "Baby Party" and these Gund number and color books they've had since they were a week old. Gawd am I tired of those. They may just have to disappear. Seriously.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 1:28:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Get him started on cruise ships early... preferably ones where they let him comp his mother.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 3:23:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

dc urban dad - Holy crap! You were totally first!

dc urban dad - Holier crap! You were totally second! If I broke out the videocamera, believe me, there would be showgirls and opening acts. This kid does nothing second rate!

heinous - Showbiz can be a cruel friend. Totally needs to learn that before he becomes some has-been child actor!

buffi - Had my oldest been home, it would have been a comedy smackdown around here. Like that rap battle in '8 Mile'!

bejewell - Did you hear about the very intelligent monster? His name is Frank Einstein. Heh.

Cocotte - I think the little dude sells the funny better than I can, though!

waltz - Look for your shipment to arrive early next week. Saturday at the earliest. I hope I remembered to poke holes in the box.

ftn - ala mode, mister. ala mode.

papa - What do you get when a giant walks through a potato field? Mashed potatoes! Hilarious!

Phyllis - A snort laugh! Perfect!

Des - I will be using that one when I open for my youngest later tonight when his tour takes him to McDonald's.

dcd - I have totally stopped my kids with "This isn't the one about the orange, is it?" before!

sailor - I wonder if this is how my parents felt when my sister and I would stage impromptu variety shows in the kitchen after dinner - complete with costume changes!

steenky bee - I've missed you more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

steenky bee - "Are You My Mother" actually kind of chokes me up.

steenky bee - I've seen my doctor about the waxy buns. I need to refill the scrip he gave me.

stiletto mom - Can we have our own tour bus and a cut of their profits? Because if so, I am so all in on the touring!

swirl girl - If asked, I will deny this, but I totally laughed out loud at that one. That is comedy genius!

aunt becky - So your son is a method actor, eh? My hair is gray in sympathy for you!

chris - I had to take a peek into who Bill Hicks was...

biscuit - I tried that one out on the kid, and he was all, "I used that one last year when I was touring the Midwest." Sheesh. Artists... :)

twobusy - A good comedian always sends you home with one you can share with your friends at work the next day.

kaila - I'm charmed that he is so very proper about his gas emissions!

goodfather - If you need anymore, I've got 100 pages of them just ready to be tried out!

Chas - I'm now going to go through the kid's Halloween stash and toss out any and all Laffy Taffy.. :)

blissfully - In all honesty, Seth is chomping at the bit to heckle the headlining act, but I warned him before the show started that if he did, I'd take away his iPhone.

brian - Aww, very sweet! I think he's bound to upstage me, though!

Meg - I know, right? Cherry pie is bliss. In fact, I wish I had cherry pie during the comedy show!

waltz - Welcome to Hell, my friend... :)

BP Dad - See if you can't get Erin some face time with Guy Ritchie.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 5:06:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

ES - I will take puns over card tricks. I've had my fair share of card tricks lately!

Stacie - Ah, the classic Boo Berry joke! It kills every time!

ms picket - When I learn to make a proper martini, I'll be over!

ciii - Risky humor. Me likey!

savage -And how about those fancy dessert-like martinis, eh?

sammanthia - Ryerson is a comedy god!

chat - He's definitely honing his skills!

sherendipity - The boobies joke is a classic! I'm pleased you tossed it in there!

lori - Three years?! He's really committed to his material, isn't he? :)

shonda - He's pretty damn awesome!

Melissa - That one was a pretty good joke, and he caught me off guard with some great delivery!

seriously mama - Be thankful you're not at the 'orange you glad...' part yet!

tattooedminivanmom - David Shannon books are fantastic. So are generic gogurts, because they save me from the jokes!

choppzs - "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" will forever be on the reading list here, I think. It's quite battle scarred!

mandy lou - Oh, you are not kidding. I'm very aware of when it seems like a pun is on the horizon, and I take cover!

vodka mom - Well, there is some laughing when the bad words get tested. I just sometimes never make it out of the room fast enough so they don't see me laughing before I come back and correct them!

heather - Homemade jokes can be classic and worth the laughs!

pacing the panic room - I will put the kabosh on his show if I see him reach for fruit or whacked out props, you have my promise!

madame queen - You've given me two new jokes to use on my little comedian!

flutterby - I'm not sure I could share some Dane Cook. I'd try, but I can't make any promises!

alaways home - I'm willing to act as his agent for any respectable offers!

Des - I was pretty damn shocked when you didn't realize and say something yesterday! :)

WWoW - I'm surprised you forgot! How can you forget?!

bee - People who want to steer a youngster wrong, that's who! But mmmm...wine!

don mills diva - A hearty 'Ha ha ha' while also tossing your head back seems pretty darn effective!

Christina - I'm happy to save you a few extra bucks during this time in our economy!

Chag - I absolutely want to string a shoelace through those pages when I read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. And another one against the cherry pie?! More for me!

merecat - Ah, Baby Party. A good one! There have been situations here where, whoops! Some books have disappeared... ;)

zip n tizzy - Oh, you are so on to something with that idea!

Thursday, November 13, 2008 5:28:00 PM  
Blogger San Diego Momma said...

I think you need to arrange a live nationwide broadcast via YouTube so we can all watch with our martinis.

And now I will end with my favorite knock knock joke:

"Knock knock!"
"Who's There?"
"Nobody."
"Nobody Who?"
" "
......................

Thursday, November 13, 2008 8:35:00 PM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

Stalking. That's it.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 8:51:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

san diego momma - Ah, your knock knock joke is another classic from the vaste collection, and is one of my favorites!

steenky bee - Trust me, luv. It'll be here soon...

Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:44:00 PM  

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