...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

if the real thing don't do the trick you better make up something quick

Hello, my name is fadkog. You might know me from my work here at ...for a different kind of girl or twitter. I appreciate you tuning in, and I apologize for not being around for more than a week. I'll assume you've noticed I've not been around for more than a week. If you haven't, then I'm going to feel like a goof, in which case, here, let me me just tell you, again, that you're looking especially pretty and/or handsome today in an attempt to hide my assumptions. It's a pretty damn big assumption, too, because I've been stuffing fistfuls of candy corn and salted peanuts in my gullet for days.

What?

I know.

And THAT is why I've not been around for awhile. I've got nothing with the words lately. I sit down to write and then my kid has the nerve to come home with homework and OMG, THE HOMEWORK!!! Or my Tool Man starts hanging around the house on a daily basis and I'm all, "Um, don't you have a job? OMG! Did you lose your job?!" and no, he didn't, he's just taking some vacation days, but interesting, very interesting, he's growing that whole "I have no job" beard, and though it's only been four days, he already looks like Barry Gibb and I wonder every day I come home from my taxing book selling days if he's going to ask me how deep is my love.

What?

Yeah, I just wrote a paragraph name-checking a musical icon from the 70s. I like to keep up on what the kids are diggin' these days. So much so that, over the weekend, while the boys and I were running errands, a song came on the radio and I was all, "What is this crap?! Do kids like this crap?! In my day, singers didn't need radio edits! They needed a mean synthesizer and a pseudo-military jacket and they sang things like being hungry the way a wolf is hungry or obsessing over someone and demanding to know what they could do to make that person love them." In short, I felt old. Let me get my shawl, get off my lawn, "Oh, look, NCIS is on!" old.

What's NCIS, you ask? Good question. It's apparently some television show that's been on for awhile and now has a spin-off staring Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J, and to that I say WHAT? I don't know why I say that, though, because I've never seen a single moment of the original show, but because I've got nothing at all to write about, I actually tweeted about it.

Yes, this is the type of scintillating goodness I give the wonderful people who follow me on Twitter. What do you mean you're not following me there yet? That's a grade A zinger right there, folks.

And that's another reason I've got nothing going on here, either. Oh, sure, I could have told you about how I was TOTALLY hit on over the Campbell's tomato soup cans while at the grocery store last night. I mean TOTALLY! Like, the dude after remarking about the amazing way I handled the cans, asked if I'd come over to his place and actually make soup with him!! Of course, because I'm happily married to a bearded hunk of man (even though he doesn't love tomato soup), I had to decline this Lothario's advances before he started telling me about the noodles in his chicken noodle soup which I'm *pretty sure* weren't actually noodles but a euphemism for things that are sometimes noodle-like. I also was compelled to turn him down because he had a far, far prettier ponytail going on than I did at that particular moment. I can do beards, but the wavy, thick man ponytails make me jealous and I don't need that over my refreshing cup o' soup.

So I won't tell you that story.

I will tell you that I noticed my Tool Man is totally rocking a six-pack these days. I was captivated by it the other night when we were sitting on the couch as the glow of the TV set off the chiseled lines. Of course, the six-pack is on his forehead, and it really pops when he scrunches his brow while deep in thought. The beard? It absolutely sets it off.

Speaking of off, I must now be. If you read this entire post, please accept my apologies. There are just no words.

Labels:

39 Comments:

Anonymous TwoBusy said...

You know what? I was feeling especially pretty today. Thanks for noticing!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Jett said...

Look, I don't watch much teevee but your mocking derision of the double-whammy pretty that is O'Donnell and Cool J all blended up will not be at all tolerated. AT ALL.

....what night is it on, again?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:43:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Wow. . . See, I'm old enough to remember the BeeGees from the 60s, fer cryin' out loud. . . Which I haven't actually pointed out to anyone since at least early in the 80s. . .

I started a joke, that started the whole world laughing. . .
Oh, if I'd only seen, that the joke was on me. . .



But hey - gettin' hit on in the soup aisle. . . that absolutely sounds like a story worth telling.

Just sayin'. . .

And hey, my WordVer is 'verel'. . . which, depending on how you choose to pronounce it, I could take in a most, uh, flattering way. . . So, thanks for that bit of random kindness.

Two can play at this "I got nothin' to say" game, y'know. . .

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

I ain't got nothin' either, that's why I'm posting excerpts from the newspaper these days.

But hey, I'm still laughing over "I'm already everything." Hope you've got more from where that came from!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Geez, I *never* get hit on at the grocery store. Hmm. I wonder if it's my ponytail?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:37:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt Juicebox said...

Thanks for the apology, but I really had nothing better to do, so I appreciated the diversion. ;P

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Kathy B! said...

Bwahaha! My hubster is rockin' a six-pack these days, too... I can't wait to tell him. He's gonna be thrilled!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

Noodles? I must try and remember that next time I'm buying soup, but I'm no good at chat up lines.

Funnily enough, I've just returned from the supermarket, where the customer behind me tried to pay for my shopping. Sadly it wasn't a gorgeous admirer but a middle aged man who was hopefully just confused rather than trying to hit on me. I didn't hang around to find out, though...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger Under the Influence said...

NCIS has a spin off? Where have I been? Oh wait, I've been listening to the Bee Gees.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

Now that I know the six-pack is on his furrowed brow, I'll stop doing my crunches. I'm competitive that way.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Is he doing the Barry Gibb falsetto? Because then I would come live with you.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 1:39:00 PM  
Blogger Legallyblondemel said...

No one does "nothing" as well as you do.

I'm having a "fake it 'til you make it" week too - should we get a slogan or mascot together? Actually, just pretending to be presentable and stringing two sentences together is enough sometimes, isn't it?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 2:17:00 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Hey - my husband is a big fan of NCIS. Just saying....

I'm jealous. You got hit on in the grocery store? Damn! I must be shopping at the wrong store! LOL!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:12:00 PM  
Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I haven't been hit on at a grocery store since I moved to NH. Stupid New England

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:47:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

This is my favoritus post in a long, long time! Oh, how lust you!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:49:00 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

I don't think I've ever been hit on in the grocery store. Those people who say it's a great place to meet potential husbands are full of it. I think it's an urban myth.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:59:00 PM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I get tingly whenever I see the first bag of candy corn goodness. Glad we have that in common!!

Hallie

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 7:02:00 PM  
Blogger Mad Woman said...

So you like my new hair then? I brushed it just for you..well and NCIS

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 8:04:00 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

Yeah. Thanks a lot for reminding me of the whole candy corn/peanut combo. I had forgotten.

Must go pig out now.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:00:00 PM  
Blogger Chasity said...

I'd totally leave a comment, but I'm still too busy laughing at your six-pack imagery.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:41:00 PM  
Blogger Whitemist said...

have we all been going through something to stop us writing? Is it the moon? The stars?
his is strange to hear, but thank you for calling me handsome or pretty or what ever nice thing you said.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:48:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Oh my, I was not expecting the six-pack on the forehead thing. Of course, one doesn't expect to be hit on over cans of tomato soup, so I guess that just goes to show you the universe has all kinds of surprises in store. xoxo.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:09:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

I'll take a 6 pack on the forhead over a wet noodle anyday.

My kids think Campbell's Chunky Chicken Noodle is HILARIOUS!

Did he specify? Because that could make all the difference.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:33:00 PM  
Blogger just making my way said...

Believe me, this is just the kind of post I needed to take the sting out of working an unexpected overnight shift.

How come when the rest of us don't know what to write...we really don't know what to write?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 11:48:00 PM  
Blogger Chag said...

You could've mentioned your contact from The Band Camp Girl.

BTW, my captcha is headini. Sounds like a magical porn name.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 11:51:00 AM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

Good thing it wasn't Campbell's Chunky soup - or you'd have been gone another week.

and LOL about the six pack!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 1:11:00 PM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

you do nothing so well FADKOG!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 2:07:00 PM  
Blogger blissfully caffeinated said...

I'm pretty sure NCIS is old people. It's like, Wheel of Fortune then NCIS. I could be wrong, though. I've never watched it.

You're so pretty.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 7:37:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

I'm in awe of the way you can craft a post from soup, beards, and NCIS. I could never do that without throwing zombies in somewhere. Which I'm really hoping is the next NCIS spinoff.... ZCIS. That would be cool. Not that I watch any of those shows (and aren't there, like, 20 of them?) but I might if there were forensic zombies.

Mmm, tomato soup sounds good.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 8:45:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Is it weird that instead of Bee Gees' songs I'm singing Air Supply? Must be the flu.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 10:40:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Yep, it was good. I myself = mush.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009 10:41:00 PM  
Blogger Divine Chaos said...

you know, i was totally into the whole post about how pretty I am today .. you were talking just to me, right? And then I was aghast at the fact that you don't watch NCIS? How could you not watch a show with the sexylicious Mark Harmon in it?? I was all into being flabbergasted when you mentioned Toolman's forehead sixpack .. and you totally made me snort diet coke up my nose. But I'm still pretty, right??

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:40:00 AM  
Blogger kanishk said...

I was not expecting the six-pack on the forehead thing. Domain registration india

Thursday, September 24, 2009 8:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Bejewell said...

Nothing is okay about a man ponytail.

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:20:00 PM  
Blogger MereCat said...

I've been the biggest twitter loser lately. I loved it at first, then I got seriously bored of it. I need to grab back on. It's fun, that twitter.

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:47:00 PM  
Blogger Bex said...

i don't get it. the six pack on the forehead? hmmmm..... i am really going to have to ponder this.

Friday, September 25, 2009 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

So you're saying it's wrong that when the local soft rock station plays the Bee Gees I'm all happy about it?

Friday, September 25, 2009 2:00:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

TwoBusy - You are the prettiest in all the lands!

Jett - Honey, I watch that show with the Duggars, so, to be honest, I have no business throwing the diss down on O'Donnell and Cool J.

Des - In retrospect, I think I actually did tell the tale of being hit on in the soup aisle. Perhaps it's the soup that made the man 'verel.'

Cocotte - I'm actually thinking of framing the "I'm already everything" note. I imagine it'll look nice in the Oval Office one day!

ftn - Is your ponytail bouncy? There's a lot of allure in a bouncy ponytail.

Aunt Juicebox - The pleasure was all mine.

Kathy - There's some truth to that whole "no pain, no gain' thing, huh?!

Brian - Even with coupons, I paid a lot for my soup and other items. I could have used a mysterious benefactor, regardless of their mental state!

Under the Influence - After I mentioned the Bee Gees here, my mom emailed me to tell me the surviving brothers were planning to release new material. It's meant to be!

Always Home and Uncool - Do not make my imagination work overtime, mister!

Aunt Becky - Yeah! Slumber parties with Aunt Becky!

Legallyblondemel - Thank you, hun. Let's get matching (and stylish) tshirts with the slogan on it!

Pat - Based on how often in a week I must run to the grocery store for something, this whole soup aisle thing is definitely a fluke!

Tuesday Girl - And here I thought those New England boys were so dashing and debonair.

Savage - A little old post about nothing is your favoritust? Thank you!

Kate - I met my Tool Man at a book store. Apparently, my charm amplifies while in a retail setting!

WWoW - An open bag is an empty bag, I always say.

Mad Woman - It's beautiful. Now, promise not to look too closely at mine.

Anna See - Forget peanut butter and chocolate (at least for just a minute because longer than that would be crazy). When peanuts and candy corn are around? I can't be held responsible for my actions.

Chasity - To see it in person is to marvel at it's beauty and power.

Whitemist - It could be the adult onset allergies I've developed. If you're all suffering from them, I apologize. And you're welcome.

Melissa - Every day is an adventure, eh? ;)

Sunday, September 27, 2009 10:11:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Zip n Tizzy - The man lamented that the chicken noodle wasn't as cheap as the tomato. If he'd reached for the expensive gourmet brands, I might have overlooked the ponytail. Of course, then my six-packed husband would have had to fight him. Not cool.

Just Making My Way - It's easy. Just toss in a bunch of verbs and some stuff in paranthesis and you've got my secrets down!

Chag - The Great Headini! Gah, that is AWESOME. Not as awesome as getting an emoticon wink from Alyson Hannigan, of course, but pretty damn close!

Swirl Girl - Only if he'd stayed away from the different types of canned chili!

Christina Lee - Thank you, luv!

blissfully caffeinated - No, YOU are! Pretty. Not old people. You know what I think is old people, but, when you see it, it clearly isn't? The Price Is Right. Damn, I just don't get that show. I mean, I really *don't* get it. Unless it's Plinko, I'm clueless.

weirdgirl - OMG! Do you even realize how cool a team of forensic zombies would be?!?!? I mean, they'd be obligated by law to solve crimes, and yet, they'd be driven by their brain lust and need for survival and have to push back their desire to feed on the corpse. Unless the corpse was already a zombie. Then it could be zombie battles. Oh, I would DEFINTELY tune in for that show.

Bee - Since I can apparently make a blog post out of nothing at all, so to speak, then no, I don't think it odd at all that you're hearing Air Supply!

Heather - What was good? Did LL make you mushy? I've always heard the ladies love cool James, but I've never seen it in action.

Divine Chaos - Oh, I used to love me some Mark Harmon, but now all those shows and spin-offs with letters in the title just confuse me. Also? Totally pretty.

kanisk - Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, and nobody expects the forehead six-pack.

bejewell - Word. Word, word, word.

MereCat - I admire your ability to back away from the soul sucking beast that is Twitter!

Bex - When my Tool Man furrows his brow, he's got this little line that runs vertically down the center, and cutting through that line are three lines that run horizontally. It makes the perfect six-pack.

Heather - Believe me, I grew up hearing the Bee Gees constantly, so nope, there's nothing wrong with that at all!

Sunday, September 27, 2009 10:11:00 PM  

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