just take the damn picture already

Have you ever been somewhere when someone pulls out a camera to capture the memories of that particular moment in time and all you can think about the instant you see that time-freezing device in their hands is "Of course, because this zit on my chin is something I want you to look at in the future and remember fondly," or "Sure, but first let me find a bunch of strangers to stand behind because I made an unfortunate shirt choice today and also, I'm feeling a tiny bit fat and I think just having my enormous zit-encrusted face floating on the shoulders of others hides that fact, so hold on, won't you?"

Or your camera-wielding friend spends 20 minutes imploring you to "Smile! Just smile already!" and you think you are but their constant, never-ending, incessant urging to say cheese or "Smile right already!" have really started to annoy you, so as you're thinking of how awesome it might be if your head could split in two and a giant robotic arm could spring forth straight from your lower cortex and grab that soul-capturing device from their now trembling, terrified hands, you say through gritted teeth, "Just take the damn picture already!"

Yeah?

Well, my face aches from that kind of smiling lately, and actually, it's probably good that there is no photographic evidence of this fake smiling me being recorded because I kind of rather think that when the photos were developed, all you'd see is this black, knotted up, noxious vapor cloud. Kind of like what those so-called ghost hunters claim is actually the spirit of a troubled soul wandering the recesses of some poor unsuspecting new homeowners' basement. The kind that would have those so-called ghost hunters urging the poor unsuspecting new homeowner to get the hell out because, Mr. and Mrs Poor Unsuspecting New Homeowner, that think DOES NOT look nice and we cannot be held responsible for what that thing might do to you while you attempt to drift off to sleep tonight.

So I have some things I need to exorcise, I think.

But in the meantime, I offer up vague ramblings because my head aches from all the stuff in it, and my body is exhausted because said stuff likes to hold all-night cranium raves complete with glow sticks and while I've never actually been to a rave, I've seen them on TV, and surely TV doesn't lie to me, so I assume there's other poor choices being made up there.

And also? My face hurts from smiling when I don't want to, so I have to work on that, too.

Does this post sound pissy? Kind of thought so. Sorry. Makes no sense to me, either. However, don't be scared. My jaw has been so clenched lately that it would be impossible for me to bite you.

So...yep...

Actually, I'm just as tired of this version of me as I imagine everyone around me is, which is another reason why I cringe when the request to smile is made. I think I am, that I have been, but I clearly haven't been for awhile. Probably good there's no photographic evidence, too, because it feels like it's going to be an ugly process.