i'm all over your internet today!
Guess what I get to go do today?
Give up? I get to renew my driver's license! Hooray! I had six years to achieve my goals so that when I reached November 2009, I'd be the person I lied and said I was when I last visited the DMV. Six years! Apparently I'm not one to jump on a goal. Oh, how I look forward to the uproarious laughter of the clerk when I try to slip the weight thing in when they ask about changes.
As soon as I post this, I'm going to jump through the shower, curl up my hair, slap some make-up on and work out a few modeling poses in the mirror. Basically, I'm going to be doing what I do every morning. Except this time, I'm going to get all this (picture my hands running up and down myself like a game show hostess displaying the curves on a Ford F-250) captured for the ages in a washed out tiny license photo. Stand back, modeling agents. I have toilets to scrub and school fundraiser items to pick up! There's two boys who need shuttled around town for basketball games all day Saturday! I can can't be jetting off to exotic locales for magazine covers and ritzy parties!
While I'm suffering the indignities of the DMV, I thought why not share some insight into who I am with all of you! To do this, I emailed my friend DC Urban Dad and said "Listen, I think you should come up with five questions and have me answer them and then post them on your blog and people will read my answers and they will either fall in love with me or perhaps shake their heads and say things like 'tsk, tsk...poor disillusioned girl...'" and he totally fell for it!
Except in reality, he kindly emailed me, asked if I'd answer a few questions (which, thankfully, didn't involve him having to read me my Miranda rights), and I gladly complied. A day later. Because I had to shower, curl my hair and put make-up on so I looked nice while doing it. I'd love if you visited DC Urban Dad's blog and leave us a comment!
When you're done there, why don't you hop on over to Polite Fictions and read the various ways all the contributing writers are wrapping up our first story. We're in the director's cut chapter of our tale and each of us are crafting an ending to the story. Mine is up today. Be kind. Enjoy a donut.
Finally, there's that post down there (look down...I'm used to it) that I wrote yesterday. Adorable things courtesy of my adorable boys. Has anyone gotten on that time-freezing machine yet? I would like to buy one.
So I think that's about it. I must now go spend some time crafting the perfect liar's face so I don't cave when giving my info the DMV. It looks a little like Blue Steel, which is also the look I want in mhy license photo. Something that screams sexy AND law abiding! Perfect!
Labels: somebody has a birthday too
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 9:12 AM
15 Comments:
Ahhh, the DMV. I still weigh a nice, lovely weight when I go there. They never seem to notice the difference in what it says and how I look and they just go along with my denial.
You get to wait 6 years in your state to get a new license? Ours is 4!
You know, they have special 'drivers license cameras', that digitally insert a zit in the middle of your forehead, and inflate your cheeks by at least 40 lbs. . .
So, I mean, not to discourage you, or anything, but all that makeup, etc. is probably just wasted time. . .
;)
Happy Birthday! Pink frosting wishes and cupcake dreams!
Yeah, have fun with that DMV thing. Of course now we're not allowed to smile.
Heading over to DC Urban Dad!
Did you do it? I want to see!!
The DMV- Oh, poor you. Every time I tell the person behind the counter my weight is still the same (as the one given in my mid 20's) I expect a Monte Python style Dance and song from the other patrons waiting. Or a rather large bolt of lightning from the heavens at the VERY least.
I have another year to lose 60 pounds. Thanks for the reminder.
good luck at the DMV...no matter how you get gussied up - they will still manage to snap the picture when you're blinking .
Have fun... you need to move here, though; you can renew your license by mail, as long as *you* don't want a new photo. No lines, no skeptical looks about weight, nothing.
The other big advantage? Well, let me tell you, I haven't aged a *bit* in the last 10 years!
Bless you, honey - I hope the DMV experience goes well. I hate that place. Best of luck!
Wow you get around. In the best possible ways of course! I don't think the weight on my license has ever matched my actual size. The people issuing it have always been very kind and turned a blind eye.
Good luck!
I actually really like my DMV photo. Maybe b/c it was taken not long after I signed my divorce papers
I left my height 2 inches shorter because when I first got my license at 16, I was 2 inches shorter and 20lbs lighter (I was a stick...) but it's just so much easier to say "No changes." Unfortunately I moved out of state and "had" to tell the truth. Damn it!
The last time my DMV pic was taken was 2004, and I look really good. Hoping my next one lives up to my unrealistically high standards.
Read your interview - my favorite time of fay is 10 am and 9:00 pm. I'll wait until 9:30 and then I'll call you.
And not say anything. Cuz I know you like the silence.
Shhhh .... :-)
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