'ha ha ha bless your soul'
Yesterday at the bookstore, I helped a gentleman who wished to purchase two copies of the Guinness Book of World Records. Before he placed his purchase on the counter, he informed me he'd be paying with cash and I assured him that would be a delight. Then he informed me he wanted me to keep his purchases because he had to use the rest room. I had no way of knowing if that, too, would be a delight, but I let him know his books were safe with me until his return.
Several minutes later, he made that return. As I handed him his bag, our hands briefly touched, our eyes met and locked, and I knew in an instant, I'd found my soul mate.
Not really. If you know the meet cute story of my husband and I, you already know he and I met years ago at a Barnes and Noble, so I'm now off limits to random dudes purchasing world record books.
Our hands did brush against each others,though, and while I didn't fall in love, of course, I did wonder if he'd washed those paws upon completing any and all bathroom duties he'd been away doing, which, if you recall from two paragraphs ago, was for several minutes. It was when we pulled away from each other, though, when the fun began.
"I am a very famous engineer," the man informed me.
"Oh?" I responded.
"Yes," he continued. "When I was a child, I drew the space shuttle on a launch pad and NASA used my designs as part of the space program."
"Oh?" I responded, but truth is, I was thinking "Uh oh..."
"Yes," he continued. "Also, I created a variety of different bar code systems, including ones used for different security companies, the government, and as well as by McDonald's for their Happy Meals."
"Sounds like you've led an incredibly diverse life," I said, noticing now that the man was outfitted in some type of jumpsuit made from what appeared to be reinforced blue tissue paper, which may have explained why it took him so long in the bathroom...and that's the explanation I'm going with because I've been made aware of OTHER things that have taken place in the men's room at the bookstore and I care not to think that this man might have been involved in such business because, let me remind you, our hands touched for an uncomfortable number of minutes.
"Somewhere out there, there's a trust that's been established in my name, and when I find it, I know there will be enough money contained within to wipe out the entire national debt," my guest continued.
"Well, when you find that trust, maybe you'd want to come back here and find me and maybe give me some of that money!" I said with a chuckle.
He just looked at me like I was crazy.