...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, May 18, 2007

...and then she said

You know when you have nothing to write about? At all? But your mind keeps blabbering? Loudly? And sometimes you laugh? Out loud? Then you realize you don't hear anyone else laughing? And you hate when people end every sentence like it's a question? Even though most of them aren't?

That's pretty much me this week. So buckle up, pumpkin. I'm just going to toss out things here and there. I'll smile and probably laugh because I sometimes find myself charming. If you don't, I'll poke at you and get in your face and make you.

But then you'll probably fall in love with me and things will get weird and a little messy and before I know it, you'll have gone on your way and I'll be back to talking to myself again. But you'll find yourself trying not to say my name at inopportune times. I know.

Before that happens, though, just let me get these things out of my head:
  • I've developed a rather unhealthy, simmering hatred for people who back in park. This is most predominant in the school parking lot every afternoon. I don't know if I'm mad because everyone wants to make the fastest getaway, or because I simply haven't brushed the dust off this talent in many years to know if I can even do it in a mini. This anger I feel is stupid, but seriously, just park the damn car. If you do this, however, I don't hate you.
  • I can parallel park like a wing man waiting for my lowlife boyfriend to make a dash from the bank, money flying out of the Hefty trash bags and screaming at me to "gun it, baby!" like nobody's business, though.
  • My family has not taken a real vacation since before my husband and I actually became "a family." If you're doing the math, that's an insanely long time. Last night, the word "vacation" got whispered and I wanted to laugh. Then cry. Because our "vacation" is a dollar amount on the credit card statement due this coming week and I've been trying to figure out how that's going to get covered. If you close your eyes, kids, and listen close, you can pretend you're at the beach.
  • But I'd never vacation at a beach. Things live in the water. Therefore, I don't go in the water.
  • The last time I was at a beach, it was in La Jolla, I was pregnant with my oldest, and a homeless man approached my husband and me, touched my protruding belly a lot and carried on about blessings and love, and then asked us to get in a circle together and pray. Naive Midwesterners that we are, we actually did. And I didn't check my pockets or my bag after our prayer circle broke up. I'm just that naive. Use it to your advantage.
  • Speaking of water, we got a survey stuck in our front door from a water quality company. At the bottom it asks "Is there anything you would change about your water?" I intend to write: "My water is a selfish lover who often sneaks out in the middle of the night to return to it's family. This makes me sad. It promises it will leave it's faucet and case of little water bottles, but I don't know that I believe it any more. It also never pays for anything when we go out. Do you think I'm being used?"
  • In addition to being sweetly naive, I'm pretty gullible. I know you're going to fall in love with me after this post, but don't tell me you love me.
  • Eh, who am I kidding. Tell me and tell me often. It's taken miles and lines to learn the right from the wrong. I keep you hanging on. Like Night Ranger did when I saw them in concert for free many years ago and the entire night, the audience did nothing but yell "Sister Christian" until they finally played it as the last song of the night. Like Night Ranger wouldn't play "Sister Christian." Please! Cripes, if I had a band, I'd play "Sister Christian."
  • How many other blogs do you think plugged Night Ranger twice in one post this week? While I'm at it, I might as well give some of the love to those Damn Yankees, too.
  • I'd also do just about anything right now for some peanut M&M's.
  • When "Blue's Clues" comes on television, I pause wherever I am in the house and listen for the voice. If it's Steve, I'm happy and will rush to watch with my youngest. I love and miss Steve like he left me yesterday, telling me we needed a little break, and yeah, don't wait for me because I can't be the one who holds you back, baby. Joe? I gave him a chance. Too virginal. Too needy. Just doesn't get how to make me happy. Refusing to stick to the program by not wearing Steve's trusty green shirt? Assertive and bold. Still not doing it for me, though. I'm admitting here that I've watched our old "Blue's Clues" videotapes as if it were porn. Yeah, I'll sit down on that thinking chair and think, think, think. 'Cause when I've used my mind and taken a step out of time, I can do anything that I wanna do. Here's a clue. They come in a pair and when I'm sitting in that chair, they're eye level.

Ok? Do you think I've babbled enough? You love me now, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. Don't fall in love with a dreamer, baby. Especially one who can't remember her dreams. Unless they involve apes dressed in three piece suits.

But you're going to leave me now. I know it. Maybe without leaving a comment, to which I say, "What's up with that?!"

Ah well, we'll always have this post...and a little more Blades/Shaw love. Yeah, your kinda love make a man outta me.



Blogger The Savage said...

Awwwwwwwww she called me.... (and everyone else)... pumkin

For me its more a lust thing.... and finding you charming? hell yes!!!

Friday, May 18, 2007 5:26:00 AM  
Blogger Rug's Bug said...

Can I just say, I was devastated when Steve left. And much like yourself, Joe just doesn't do it for me.

Friday, May 18, 2007 7:45:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Awww, DKG, you know I love you like a sister. I'll always come back 'round, just to say 'Hi', 'cuz we've shared so much of our lives together, right?

I think the last time our whole family went on an actual vacation together was back in '96, when 6F was a year old. Not just the money, but it became more like, going on vacation wasn't 'vacation-ish' anymore. Between planning and executing a week's worth of meals, and trying to ensure that none of the kids gets washed up on the beach the next day, it kinda got more stressful than restful, and we kinda got out of the habit. I'm starting to think, tho, that we might actually be able to pull one off again, one of these years.

And, I'm sure you just haven't gone to the right beaches; you oughta check out our fine Great Lakes beaches - no sharks, no jellyfish, and you don't have to take a shower after you swim. . . ;)

Friday, May 18, 2007 9:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to admit that Blues Clues was a guilty pleasure when my kids were little but they out grew it before the new guy came in. BTW did you ever see the episode of Yes Dear where the good looking wife has a dream about making out with Steve?

I Also think backer up parkers are show offs and with you I have mad parallel parking skillz.

You know I love you MS KAR. but I just can't past the Hanson thing. Some wounds just cut too deep.

sceeky ( I think I might try to develop this one into a word i will use in everyday life)

Friday, May 18, 2007 9:54:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Please take your hands off the keyboard and kindly back away from the YouTube.

As long as we're discussing crushes on children's show characters (although for some reason it sounds much less creepy when *you* write it), I had the crazy hots for Loonette from "Big Comfy Couch" when I was in college.

A lot of women seem to lust after Steve. I wonder if that's why some guys get into children's television. Be honest: Do you think the Wiggles get a lot of poon?

(And yes, I just totally used the word "poon" in a blog comment.)

Friday, May 18, 2007 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Savage - It is much easier, I know, to ease into things when you start with lust. Charming girls pick these things up along the way, pumpkin.

Rug's - Here's just a smidge of why I love Steve - his use of phrases and such that hint, even just a little, at double entendre. Sigh...or maybe I just want them things to sound dirty when he's talking about shapes or vegetables. God, I love Steve. LOVE HIM!

Des - Yeah! Someone caved and told me they love me! Ok, sure, like a sister. Whatever. I'll take what I can get!

You're right about that vacation thing, most definitely. So does that mean my family and I can come stay with yours? Perhaps you won't even realize we're there, and if nothing else, I'll help prepare meals!

Finished - In addition to my parallel parking skillz, you should see me bust out a three point turn! Like lightening. You won't even know what hit you. And you never - EVER- realize I've come to a stop when you're a passenger with me. I can stop that mini with grace. On a dime. Gorgeous.

Gorgeous like Taylor Hanson, my friend....

FTN - Brining 'poon' into play. Nice! Because you used it, I'm going to honestly say I'd totally give it up for Anthony Wiggle. Oh yeah!

Why? (Because I know you're asking "Why?") - Voracious appetite. Always hungry. Goofy grin. The kind of grin that seems to be hiding something nasty behind it. Yep. Totally would suggest poon for Anthony.

Now I've grossed myself out. But not before adding that my afternoon glimpse of Loonette will now forever be linked to some stoic, tall, guitar-slung yet motionless, sequoia of a man....

Friday, May 18, 2007 2:21:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Sure, you can stay w/us, DKG! You're right - we probably wouldn't even notice you were here for the first week or so. Even with the KAR and all, I'd probably just think you were one of my grown daughters (I know, I'm not supposed to notice stuff like that about my daughters, but don't kid yourself - I know what those guys are after. . .)

I feel like I should warn you, tho - there's no place in Michigan that's more than a 1.5-hour drive from the 'Big Water', but the 1.5 hours - yeah, that's our house. But we could set up a wading pool for you in the back yard. . .

Friday, May 18, 2007 2:33:00 PM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

Sometimes when I read your posts, I think we were separated at birth. I love you, and I love Steve too. Joe...not so much.
Here's the mail it never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail when It comes I wanna wail maaaaiiiiilllll!

Naive..gullible...yep, that's me. I had peanut m&m's in my hand today at the store..I put them back! Yay me!

Friday, May 18, 2007 11:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE Steve from Blues Clues. And I don't even have kids!! Sometimes I just watch it by myself.

Saturday, May 19, 2007 7:03:00 AM  
Blogger Edtime Stories said...

I love you babe... you know that.
The water thing is a scam...enjoy leaving the note.

Ahhh vacation, when I close my eyes and listen all I hear is the crashes as my boy pretends he is one of the mythbusters. For him a vacation could be to a junk yard.

Saturday, May 19, 2007 9:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I feel as though I am in elite company now.

raxnnbhr (Yes, yes yes!!!! Did you catch the term rax in there?;) )

Saturday, May 19, 2007 3:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definitely a lot of thoughts going on in your head little lady. Sorry about lack of specifics, but I glaze over on long posts.

Take it easy man.


Saturday, May 19, 2007 7:58:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Desmond - Look for us around the middle of June. When my kids start running thru the place and screaming, please don't hesitate to tell me it's time we should be going!

Stacie - There are days when I go out to retrieve the mail when I sing the mail song. In my head. With gusto, baby! I wonder who wrote me today...

DFP - Much of the time, when I do watch Blue's Clues, I watch by msyelf. In the dark. With my finger on the volume button. Or something like that....heh...

Ed - Ah! Thank you, dear. Now, about that "Mythbusters" thing...That's about the one Discovery Channel show I can do without. Which is hard, considering it seems to be on so much!

Finished - What can I say? Chicks dig smart, snarky, kinda balding guys who can sing about graham crackers. Or at least I do. A lot...

Nocturnal - I'm going to imagine that you really meant "skim" over rather than "glaze" over my posts. Though set me straight. There's a lot here to glaze over, I'm sure. Even when I'm wordier than I normally am in this post!

Sunday, May 20, 2007 3:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do they have to be balding? How about graying just a little ...er a lot?

fekkdtf (Ohhh baby you know what I like!!)

Sunday, May 20, 2007 4:41:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Finished - I suppose in these cases, I'm equal opportunity. But I gotta say, a green striped rugby shirt would bring it home.

Monday, May 21, 2007 12:51:00 AM  
Blogger FindingHeart said...

All I have to say is: Seriously? Steve over Joe. If I were gay, I'd be a Joe guy over skinny Steve. ;)

Monday, May 21, 2007 8:35:00 AM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Hmmm, I thought I hung a comment here yesterday...

What I THOUGHT I said was that I'm totally with ya on "Sister Christian", Steve over Joe (though totally NOT in a homosexual way. I got nothing against the gay, I just don't wanna see Joe and Steve bumping nasties. Okay, I apparently don't even wanna say/type it....ewwww), WAY totally with you on not swimming in water with "stuff" in it, but I'm about the plain M's. The peanuts got no business in there...;)

Love the post though. As a fellow rambler, I had no difficulty following it at all.

Monday, May 21, 2007 2:37:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I'm sure you'll still love me after I admit that I'm a backer upper. I find it easier to back into a situation, that way I can see all of the obstacles in the way. A two year old boy with negligent parents that used to live in my circle owes his life to this small annoyance.

Monday, May 21, 2007 11:02:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Finding Heart - SERIOUSLY!? Joe?! I think even if I *was* a gay male, I'd not even think twice about Joe!

Superwife - Welcome to "Ramblerville," where every corner is a sharp turn because you never know what's going to pop out of my mind from one moment to the next! Like how I'm totally focused on the idea of any kind of M&M's right now. Fed to me by Steve.

Nanette - My sweet friend, I'd love you anyway, of course! And then I'd ask you to help me brush up my skills on this talent, for it's been a long time!

Monday, May 21, 2007 11:51:00 PM  

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