...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, April 27, 2007

'cause you give me something...'

i would like to take this opportunity to thank the five year old girl with the perpetually runny nose for the sore throat, headache and aching ears i developed last night at exactly 8:45 p.m.

thank you.

it was a pleasure to be paired up with you at the preschool field trip yesterday afternoon. why i was given the honor and not your own mother, who had also tagged along, griped at you a lot and is seemingly aware of your snot problem, is nothing short of bizarre, but who am i to argue with a preschool teacher who deals with all of you four afternoons a week and who set the agenda for the day?

i'll tell you who. someone not worthy of raising the question, that's who.

so i made the best of it. trying to guide you by the shoulder or with a gentle hand on your back as we mazed our way through the gymnasium and carnival games. we did our best to avoid skin on skin contact, but as fate would have it, our hands eventually met like star crossed lovers. like the penultimate moment in a movie love story when the scene slows down, the music swells and the close up tightens in on our fingers entwining.

had our scene played out that way, the camera would have then cut immediately to a tight frame on my face, complete with a look of dismay when i realized what had happened. it would have been followed by the silent look of dread and my mouth slowing forming the words "ooooooohhhhh nooooooooo......," my head shaking like a wet dog, when i glanced down at you and noticed your other hand was stuffed down the back of your pretty white tights and you were entertaining your right butt cheek.

and you grinned. a smile that is just as perpetual as your flowing nostrils. then you dove down those tights deeper. and i swear that, as i tried to shake our icy death grip apart and suggested you save your extracurricular pantie activities for another place, that your smile turned just a little bit evil.

cripes. who wouldn't be charmed? whose to say that in the privacy of my own home, i wouldn't be doing the very same thing you were?

so thank you, perpetual snotty nose girl with no sense of personal discretion. it had to be you. no amount of elementary school bathroom soap and purell was going to save me. and this little spring cold is kicking my ass.

an ass upon which i am not entertaining.

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if i survive this cold, and granted, all signs seem to indicate i will (i heard that big, collective sigh you all let out across a large portion of the midwest and a sprinkling on either coast. you all are so sweet to care like that!), then i will be hitting my 100th post the first time i enter something here next week. somehow i eeked out four posts (really 10 if you take into account monday's lengthy biography) this week, and so i'm pretty sure you've all had about your fill of me, but if you have thoughts or suggestions for the 100th, let me know. i'll stew over them and decide.

or i'll just keep babbling away as i've done so expertly, toss in a couple rack remarks here and there, and win you over with my charm. eventually, you will be mine!

but not before i take some dayquil and go lay down for a bit.

13 Comments:

Blogger Stacie said...

Yikes! I hope you're feeling better soon. Dang snot nosed kids! No respect for their elders these days I tell ya!
Stacie

Friday, April 27, 2007 9:45:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

babble babble babble

BOOBS!

babble babble babble

Friday, April 27, 2007 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Finished Last said...

The gift that keeps on giving.

I think FTN summed it up for all of us.

ugpnf (I'm disappointed)

Friday, April 27, 2007 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Awww I hope you feel better soon. I'm just now exiting the Adventure in Snotland that ALL 5 of my kids have not only had, but ever so graciously shared with me. And all I have to say is.... Nyquil.

Friday, April 27, 2007 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

I was actually trying to win you over with my charm, as you suggested in that last paragraph.

Be sure to pass the sickness around to the rest of your family. It's how you show that you care.

Friday, April 27, 2007 3:00:00 PM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

*shudder* You made me remember a similar incident. At least YOURS didn't offer her fingers for you to smell.

Oh, made myself gag. Shame on you for making me remember that.

Friday, April 27, 2007 3:22:00 PM  
Blogger Crazy Computer Dad said...

I just got over a cold that a co-worker happened to share with the rest of the office. I swore I would hang onto it long enough to give it back to her. Alas, I did not. However, thankful all the same to have my nose and sinuses back to normal.

Friday, April 27, 2007 3:32:00 PM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

Do parents have no care in the world what their kids spew about?

How bout a better picture of that kick ass rack for your 100th post? :D

Someone had to ask.
CH

Friday, April 27, 2007 5:41:00 PM  
Blogger Chag said...

Write about your music collection. Or music in general. Or whatever you want.

Friday, April 27, 2007 9:49:00 PM  
Blogger ArtfulDodger said...

Drat! Double Drat!!

Heck, I say why change now, let's see more mindless wanderings and maybe even some drivel. :)

Feel better soon.

Saturday, April 28, 2007 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger JUnderCovers said...

Normally I would feel bad that you're sick, but you just made the story too damn funny for me to feel anything but amused. Feel better!

Saturday, April 28, 2007 3:28:00 PM  
Blogger XI Summit said...

Man, keep the sickies at home already! Hope you feel better soon.

The gift that keeps on giving!

Sunday, April 29, 2007 10:15:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Stacie - Some moaning and groaning and some extra sleep helped pave the way toward feeling better, thanks!

FTN - My compliments on your BOOBS! I'm way charmed, but you knew that at the first panty toss!

Finished - I love that it truly is all about the BOOBS! Seriously. I'm not joking...

Heather - I stuck my fingers in my aching ears, made "la la la la" sounds and gazed at the walls around me when I read your illness had hung around that long. I don't want that! However, I will salute the healing powers of the Nyquil!

FTN - Still charmed. Still charmed enough to appease your lowercase frustration. You caught that along with the panties, right?

Biscuit - You made me shudder and gag a bit with that memory. I just did it again in leaving you this comment back. My stomach is clutching right now. I have to leave you...but you know I'll be back...

CC Dad - I'm one of those who is always the last to catch something and never able to pass it back. It's like those who have been sick beore me have developed super human immunity powers. Until the next time they wish to sneeze on me or lick my hand or something nasty!

Confused - I only allow my kids to spew in the confines of my home. Preferrably when I'm not around so as not to be the one who has to clean it up. So far, that plan has worked for me.

As for your plan to delightfully mention my rack as much as I do, who knows if it will work for you! I am delighted, though!

Chag - Stewing in my "Need to finish these sometime" drafts is a list of my Top 10 cds I couldn't do without that needs to come up for air sometime. Your own well thought out list was quite stellar, I'll have you know.

Art - I hope Monday's entry fits the bill for meeting my need to babble and mention the kick ass rack one or two times, and that you're back to play along! I'll be sure to kick in that drivel before too long!

J - I shall attempt to lighten the mood when on my deathbed, too! Thankfully, after getting to sleep in and languish in a horizontal position most of the weekend (which is a little move I should call "Doin' the J" Except not in that creepy way), I have started to feel better, thanks!

XI - I do my best to keep my germs to myself. I hate regifting that kind of thing!

Monday, April 30, 2007 12:17:00 AM  

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