'good times never seemed so good'

thank you, semi driver. i'd marveled at your stellar, near death-defying lane changes during evening rush hour on the interstate twice earlier, including once in front of me going around a bend at 70 mph.

trust me. i called you a prick. i reserve that for my special friends, and honestly, it seemed appropriate. especially five minutes later when, at 75 mph and with no room, you changed lanes right in front of the lady directly to my right.

oh, she and i met. our vehicles - her's a small toyota and my mini - had a conjugal visit right there on the interstate as she swerved in the only direction she could to escape your "duel" moves.

that we didn't roll or t-bone into the wealth of other vehicles and motorcycles roaring near us is nothing short of impressive. that i wasn't rear ended as i slammed my brakes on, taking me from 75 mph to maybe 20 in an instant must have been magic.

that you drove on, seemingly oblivious to what you had done, is amazing. not, however, unexpected.

so here's what you missed:

• my oldest son, upon whose side we impacted with the other motorist, in tears and shaking nearly to the point of being physically ill.
• more than one hour waiting off on the side of the interstate with the hot early evening sun roasting down on my youngest son (who somehow stayed asleep for the entire episode) while waiting for a police officer to arrive and fill our paperwork.
• me in tears, realizing just how utterly horrific this three-second span of time could have been to my family. that none of us nor the very gracious and lovely woman we were forced to share this experience with were killed or seriously hurt is stunning. and i'm all about stunning.
• amazingly minimal damage to our respective vehicles, despite the impact and skidding we were forced to do together down a stretch of interstate highway.

so thank you, semi driver - peach tree windows & doors semi driver, to be exact, since i feel like we know each other now and i feel it's ok to call you prick. and an ass. i quite imagine you went on your speedy little way much the same after causing this accident. you probably don't even know you caused this, which makes me oh, that much more happy. good for you, prick.

sidebar - this event took place tuesday night while the boys and i were en route across town to pick my husband up from work. "why did you have to pick him up from work?" you might be asking. "doesn't he have a car he can use?" this is the part where i would say yes, my husband does indeed have a car that he uses. in fact, we just had new brakes installed on said car late last week. happily, these new rear brakes locked on my husband today as he was driving, resulting in not an accident of his own (thankfully), but the need to have the car towed to the dealer who installed said brakes.

in addition, i capped this two hour experience off in grand style when my husband turned to me at dinner and announced he would be out of a job by october 1st. should any of the people also eating dinner at that particular burger king at 6:15 p.m. tuesday evening actually read this very blog and saw some ragged and tired looking woman start to cry over her grilled chicken sandwich and diet coke...that was me. hope i didn't make your dining experience too uncomfortable. i mean, how much more uncomfortable can it get when we're already choosing burger king for our meal?

oh, wait! one more thing! in my state of procrastination lately, i left my new vehicle insurance cards on my kitchen counter before leaving the house this afternoon, so yes, i was cited for failure to have proof of insurance - a $710 penalty - and now have to appear in court next month to have the fine dismissed. this day? utter freakin' perfection.

and speaking of perfection, who'd have believed you could start talking about neil diamond with people (and when i say "people" i mean ftn, whose blog i'm on a personal crusade to pimp since he always seems to be hurting for readers) and suddenly have perfect opportunity to take the lyrical master out beyond email banter and into the light (oh yeah, baby. the heartlight) of a post heading? watch the clip. it's worth it for the lip lick at the end...sigh. then let me know if you have any ideas on what "warm, touching warm" means.