...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

which came first? chicken limbo or my insanity...

File this under "Don't make promises you don't intend to keep..."

I've sworn to my youngest that we could play "Chicken Limbo" today. Today. After putting it off for the past several days. And nights. So today we have. Many times. Honestly, now, I feel as though I've come down with some bird disease.

At least that's what I'm telling him in order to stop the madness that is filling my brain from listening to this thing with it's loud chorus of "bawk, bawk, ba, ba, ba, bawk, bawk!"

Trust me, if you had this game (and if you want it, I'll ship it off to you on the cheap - or the cheep, if you will, to really choke this chicken metaphor - please...I'm not above begging you...), you'd be hearing that barnyard opera in your head. You'd be singing it yourself while doing something mundane like picking up the kitchen or folding laundry. Because I have.

Oh, and then this plastic rooster, this inanimate object who thinks it's the cock of the walk down in your basement, yeah, it's going to mock you when you demonstrate how inflexible you are past the age of five. It laughs at you tauntingly, like you're the girl in the locker room still wearing the training bra in 10th grade while all the other girls are shopping at the Victoria's Secret at the mall. And it makes a noise akin to a fart. I'm sure the manufacturers want you to believe it's just the chicken blowing you a mocking raspberry from it's jaunty beak. But it sounds like a fart, and therefore, the boys aren't even TRYING to play limbo correctly. They just want to make it mock and fart, fart and mock.

"The rules!" I cry. "We must follow the rules!"

"Haa Haa! Got you! Blaphapa (or however a toy raspberry/fart sounds)," this Foghorn Leghorn wannabe says. And you shut up, because seriously! Look at the way it has it's delectable chicken wings jauntily on it's hips and that look of madness in it's eyes. That fowl looks like it's gonna cut you if you turn your back on it. Or peck your eyes out just as you think you're going to make it unscathed under the lowest limbo setting.

And wouldn't that add some kick ass drama to the game...

My next promise is to sell this game at a garage sale. I will definitely keep that one.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Step 1 - locate speaker holes.

Step 2 - fill speaker holes with clear silicone caulk.

Step 3 - enjoy the muted tones.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 2:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing more fun than having a chicken mock and then fart at you. My all time game concession was playing Pretty Pretty Princess with my daughter, and I won! (I looked hot in a tiara)

cpdhlw (Nice)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:08:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

I'm a bit disappointed that we just have a picture of the aforementioned toy, and not a picture of you in mid limbo underneath it.

Or, even better, perhaps a bit of YouTubey goodness.

The chicken looks like some sort of creepy adult novelty toy, with its legs spread wide apart like that... But honestly, I'd probably play that game. I mean, I played a game of Twister last week with my 3-year old, it couldn't do much more damage to my psyche than that did.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy that game. Because "mock and fart" is sort of my rallying cry anyway.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:52:00 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Lucky to have missed out on this particular fun (and Pretty Pretty Princess, too...whew!). ::shiver::

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thankfully we survived the Pretty Pretty Princess AND that annoying school bus game. And I'm thanking the stars above that the Chicken Limbo came after she was a wee bit older. Because Oh.My.God. The child LOVES the word chicken. It started (for some unknown reason) on the day of my wedding shower. She was 4. Everytime she saw something she said it looked like a chicken, tasted like chicken, called people chicken. And almost five years later the word is still in play. For a while Hubby countered with some Goat play, but chicken still rules her roost. Go figure!
Oh, and ummmmmm, I'm still trying to shop with the big breasted girls at the V.S. No luck yet. Hello, my name is Terry, and I envy the kick ass racks of the world!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 10:26:00 PM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

You'd have that crazed look in your eyes too if you were trying to layan egg of that size.

Your right I DO wish I was you right about now. But for totally different reasons. You have a basement! How cool is that?! Baesments are' few and far between out here in Ca. I swear on all that I am that I WILL have a house with a baesment someday. No matter where I have to move to have one.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 1:42:00 AM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

LOL! What the heck? The picture alone, as they say, is worth many many words. You should totally put a sound file up though, that would rock.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 7:55:00 AM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

Chicken Limbo? Oh no...I'm quite sure I would cause myself a mischief...nope, I won't be playing that anytime soon...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 8:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could you be so cruel? We've been looking for that one touch to make the graduation party complete. Here you had it all the time and never fessed up! Graduate Chicken Limbo, now why didn't I think of that? Mind if I borrow it for the weekend? And kid demonstrators?

I can't believe you've been keeping this from me all this time.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 8:26:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Uh. . . Okay, I guess it falls on me to get the hidden innuendos.

'Choke the chicken metaphor'?

'Cock of the walk'?

Very sly, DKG. My compliments. . .

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 10:13:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I've heard bad things about this toy from other parents. Luckily, my kids have never seen it. And I hope they never will.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

That is classic, the pic is definitely worth a 1000 words.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 10:48:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Emily - Heh! Perfectly stated! Thanks for being a new person passign through and for the very sound suggestion. I just wish I could pull it off on the boys!

Finished - Actually, I don't think I'd have a problem with an *actual* chicken mocking me and then farting. I think it's the height of frustration when a plastic chicken does it, though! And seriously, I guarantee I'd *kill* at Pretty, Pretty Princess! I need to give birth to a girl, pronto!

FTN - Dude, I've got my hands full with dolphins and now you've got me looking at this plastic chicken thing in an entirely different light. Such a light will never see YouTubey goodness. However, I think the Papier Mache Penis/Penchant for Panties double bill should *totally* be called the "Mock and Fart Summer Conquest 2007" You in?

SuperWife - Count yourself lucky. However, I do truly wish to rock on some Pretty, Pretty Princess!

Terry - Cocking my head to the left and wondering "school bus game"? Interesting that her word is "chicken." My word is "conundrum." No reason why, other than to say that the fact Victoria Secret doesn't carry bras in my size is a freakin' conundrum.

Confused - It's really just a half basement and it's so overloaded with toys and dead bodies that there's barely room for me to crawl down here to the computer. The only benefit of having a basement is for the above mentioned matter and for hiding from the tornadoes. Good times.

RS - The picture just makes me think of that damn rooster taunting me. I pondered the whole audio file thing, but honestly, you should probably be happy I didn't include one. The sound would have burrowed into your brain and stayed there!

Stacie - As I can barely limbo, I shouldn't be playing it. So we call my little version Chicken Crawl or Chicken Mommy Rolls Under the Bar!

XI - Dude, pony up and I'll have that think in the mail to you so fast you're going to regret the day you ever pretend played around at wanting it!

Desmond - I'm shocked no one else yanked those out. I'm glad you did, Mr. Sly! I'll take your sincerest compliments and smirk appropriately in a way that lets you know you can trust I'll do something similar again soon!

Chag - When there was a product recall for it, I debated getting the replacement part. Foolish, foolish me. You, however, are the smartest man on planet Earth.

Ben - A picture of me actually *doing* the Chicken Limbo game would probably be worth 1000 words, but no one needs to see that!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:48:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Send it to me! I have someone in mind that I need to send an awful noisy gift--paybacks are a bitch don't you know. ;)


Thursday, June 21, 2007 1:16:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Wait a minute. . . You mean, this thing makes fart noises while you 'limbo' under its legs?

Uh, that's disgusting. . .

Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nanette - If I didn't have to endure the wailing cries of a five year old at the loss of this game, I'd have had it in the mail to you three days ago!

Desmond - It makes the noise if, as you're limboing under it, you knock it's tail feathers because you're a loser who can't bend and get under the bar. However, the boys just like to make it do that noise regardless of whether they're actually playing it or not. I have a feeling that Chicken Limbo has only been played correctly around here about three times.

Friday, June 22, 2007 10:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ship it! Party's over, but there's always fun to be had at XI's house. Hope it's industrial-strength 'cuz otherwise we'll wear it out in no time.

And a picture of you doing chicken limbo? Priceless, we ALL wanna see that for sure!

Monday, June 25, 2007 11:59:00 AM  

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