...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, June 18, 2007

'you've got the brawn, i've got the brains...'

My day, in a nutshell - a nutshell that has been de-nutted and found it's treasure plucked out and encased in the chocolaty goodness and candy coated shell (either red or green, I'm not picky) that is and always will be the greatest piece of candy in the world - a peanut M&M:

In the bank drive-up lane, I've just sent my deposit consisting of several bills and checks to the nice teller in the window.

"Hi, _ _ _ _ _ _, how are you today?" he asks.

"Great! You?," I reply, and small talk ensues as he removes my deposit from the tube from which it scurried in to him. Banter about the weather, new loan programs, and my devastating smile culminates with his own very handsome and 'customer service happy' smile from behind the window that separates us.

"Ok, so tell me. What can I do for you today?" he asks.

I pause, my devastating smile frozen as I do a mental checklist and glance around the mini. Yep. Yep. It would indeed appear that I've already given him my deposit, so that's good. That's key to my purpose here at the bank drive up window today.

I turn back to the window and our smiles mirror the other's.

"Well, I suppose since I've given you all my money in small, unmarked bills, you could think of my deposit slip as a demand note and we could pretend this is a reverse hold up," I say brightly. "If you lean really close to the microphone and whisper 'I'll write your balance at the bottom of the deposit slip and no one gets hurt,' I'd seriously dig that."

A pause behind the teller window, and for a moment, I believe he's considering it. Then I notice his smile tightening just a bit in a fashion that clearly says, "You're not only obviously quite poor, but a smart ass."

"Will you be needing any suckers today, _ _ _ _ _ _?" he asks.

"Oh, aren't we all just great big suckers?" I whisper, with a trace bit of pleasure at being fiscally secure in the smart ass world fueling me.

"Great," I say. "That would be so great."

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10 Comments:

Blogger Nanette said...

I bow down to the queen of the comeback! If you really didn't say that to the teller, don't spoil it for me. Oh, there's a lot of opportunities....

Monday, June 18, 2007 3:00:00 AM  
Blogger 2amsomewhere said...

It is quite an act of wit sorcery that can take such a mundane interaction and transform it into a chorus of guffaws.

Thanks for sharing that one.

--
2amsomewhere

Monday, June 18, 2007 8:03:00 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Ha!

Oh, peanut M&M, how I love you.

Monday, June 18, 2007 9:20:00 AM  
Anonymous you da mom! said...

is this all going on in your brain or are you really just that ballsy?

Monday, June 18, 2007 9:54:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

To assure you, some days I'm very much a ballsy chick...

Monday, June 18, 2007 10:16:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

As one who eschews actual human contact at the bank for the ease of direct deposit and ATMs, I'm starting to wonder if my own ability to be a wiseass is suffering as a result.

Actually, I just wish the ATM would spit out suckers every time I fly through. Wouldn't that be totally cool?

Monday, June 18, 2007 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

Are you serious? This sounds like a prize winning short film if I ever saw one (which I have). And I thought I was doing well when the teller at my bank asks me if I want dog treats.

Monday, June 18, 2007 12:05:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

You are the bomb! and Peanut M&M's? Oh yeah....can anyone say addiction? I haven't had any in over 6 months. Please don't remind me...

Stacie

Monday, June 18, 2007 1:16:00 PM  
Blogger Finished Last said...

Even the mundane should be an adventure. Kudos MS. KAR.

xanhmhes (my eyes are rolling to the back of my head)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 8:47:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nanette - Every word is true. Except maybe how we carried on about my devastating smile. That was probably just me talking to myself. But everything else went down! I learned those comeback abilities at school. "You can tell I'm educated, I studied at the Sorbonne..."

2am - My pleasure. Though some would call it sarcastic. Should that be what you *really* mean, I am humbled that you'd mask it as "wit sorcery" instead!

Kelly - I will share my love affair with the nut with you!

youdamom! - ballsy as ballsy can be...

Goddess of All I Survey - You're truly stunning...keep it up! You'll show all those people from high school who just thought you were a stuck up bitch!

FTN - Seriously! Let's get on this whole ATM/sucker treat concept ASAP! That would be stellar! And no Dum Dum suckers, either. I want the full on Tootsie Pops.

As an aside, I think we've got the wiseass thing down pretty well. Let's patent the ATM thing under "Wisenheimer Inc."

Notice how I'm totally glomming onto your idea and wanting to make it mine, too!?

Mrs. Fortune - Your bank gives out dog treats?! That's some customer service right there! When my kids were infants, I still demanded the sucker. Dammit, I figured they weren't going to be giving me much in the way of monetary interest, the least they could do was hit me with a sucker.

Stacie - I wish I possessed your kryptonite means of peanut M&M avoidance!

Finished Last - Alas, I've yet to figure out how to make the mundane tasks of toilet cleaning and laundry folding as exciting as a trip to the bank. Probably because no one seems to be around when I do those things. Hmmm...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 2:53:00 PM  

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