...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, August 29, 2008

mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice

The last member in my circle of college friends turned 40 recently. To celebrate this milestone each of us reached within the last 10 months, we're all gathering up our respective spouses and children and meeting over the weekend in Kansas City to attend a surprise party being thrown for one of our group.

I predict there will be copious amounts of laughter, hideous flashback photos, and, assuming I partake in the magic elixir that is an open bar, perhaps some karaoke. I've already called dibs on INXS' Need You Tonight (with bonus encore number Mediate - designate your love as fate, baby. You know I'm talking to you). I intend - in my imagination, at least - to rock that baby as hard as I did in the kitchen of the rundown crack den the six of us - five women and one man who used senior year as a time to prove he was not, in fact, gay (though not by testing on any of us) shared. We'd pop the Kick cassette into the boom box, emerge from the afghan cocoons we'd wrap ourselves in to protect against the lack of heat in the house, and dance on the slanted kitchen floor. One of the best and worst years of my life.

(Before I go on, I feel it only fair to pause so you can all marvel at the fact that I am, indeed, 40. "She acts a wee bit immature, don't you think?" you're probably whispering amongst yourselves. You're right. I can be a bit immature sometimes, so even though I don't feel that you thinking that about me is insulting, I'd like to take this opportunity to say I'm rubber and you're glue and whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. But I don't mean that in a mean way. I just like to say it. While twirling my pigtails. Let's carry on now, shall we?)

In a shocking twist to my typical straightforward blog entries, this post is going entirely off track (insert smiley face emoticon here). Let's back up and get to the inspiration for this entry. Remember in the first paragraph when I said my friends would be gathering their spouses and children for this KC trip? Well, for my Tool Man and me, this is a CHILD FREE ADVENTURE!

(glitter! fireworks! ticker tape parade! Presidential proclamations! wee!)

Tool Man and I rarely get the chance to be alone together. The last time we attempted the increasingly stealth "Mom and Dad need a little nap! :: BIG YAWN!!:: We'll be back down in an hour or two, so why don't you watch this Ghost Hunters marathon, mkay?", we were bombarded by cries of "Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Daaaad!" by our youngest at the bedroom door. When the invitation for this weekend arrived, we looked at it, then looked at each other, and were all, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?", and I asked "Well, just so I'm clear, are you thinkin'..." and Tool Man answered, "I'm absolutely thinkin'...". So I commenced upon guilting a set of grandparents into taking the kids for a night, and Tool Man hopped on the laptop to score us a hotel room. Then we clasped hands and spun around the kitchen singing, "We're going to be alone together, we're going to be alone together."

He didn't want to do that, btw. I made him.

You might recall that Tool Man spends about two to three nights a week in the finest economical accommodations the Midwest has to offer, and because he feels oh so bad about living the life of luxury on the road while I'm toiling away at home with the kids, he decided to treat me like a queen, willingly tossing aside the chance to use his Holiday Inn frequent guest points on an iPod to instead book our room for next to nothing. He failed at getting us a jacuzzi suite, though, because most of the rooms were already booked for the long Labor Day weekend. Apparently, even though people aren't working over the long weekend, that doesn't mean they don't necessarily have a job to do.

("Wait a minute! Was she referring to...?" "Why, I think she just alluded to...!" "OH MY WORD!")

(Heh. I totally was!)

Our reservation made, Tool Man turned to me, a grin brightening his face, and went on and on about all the things we were going to have the chance to do once we checked in Saturday afternoon. "A big old, king-size bed, baby! No kids to interrupt us! I'm gonna show you what lovin' me is all about!" Like I need a lesson in that! Sheesh!

So, if, when Saturday rolls around and slides into Sunday, and you find yourself bored and perhaps thinking about me (you know you do...especially you in the back), I'm not going to pretend and say I don't think it's a bit weird, but, if you want imagine all the hot, hot hotel action that's going on in my world at that very moment. In fact - and again, weird - let me just give you a hint of what it will be like so you can build up your fantasy:

The two of us (and I mean Tool Man, fyi) spread across a huge disheveled bed, limbs entwined in an inescapable knot. The quiet murmurs of satisfaction escaping from one or the both of us to remind the other that we're in a state of euphoric bliss. Then? Then I'll kick Tool Man in the back to get him to roll over so he's no longer snoring in my face, and while he's shifting, I'll grab the television remote out from under where he laid so I can maybe catch the last hour of Forbidden Temptations on the free HBO.

That's what hotel adventures are like for us. Free premium cable and catching up on our sleep.

Because I'm old and I need my rest.

I am 40, after all!

(insert another smiley face emoticon here...)

U2 - A Room At The Heartbreak Hotel (I 'heart you,' Rattle and Hum)(and you, too, heh)



Blogger April said...

I too am immature for my age. So it's taking everything in me to not shout out "Oooooh! Someone's gonna get luckeeeee!"

Have a great time! (Oh, you will)

Friday, August 29, 2008 12:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh. You are a lucky woman girl. Almost as lucky as me. Today, the hubs surprised me with a special gift.

My very own Hammer.

No really. That's not a euphemism for his wang. He ought me a facking hammer. To pound fence staples with.

Let me tell you. He's so getting lucky tonight.

Of course, he's getting lucky in the comfort of our own home and not in some fancy hotel bed.

(And can I just say, that when I grow up and reach 40...in say a decade or so...snicker...I hope I'm at least half as hot as you.)

Wicked grin.

Friday, August 29, 2008 12:31:00 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

I love the free HBO in the hotel rooms. If Pornucopia comes on you'll be waking your snoring Don Juan up again.

Friday, August 29, 2008 2:34:00 AM  
Blogger Tina@ SendChocolateNow said...

Hey you have to grow up, but you don't have to grow old. I am 42. It's the new 25. That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

Have a great time! Envious!

By the way, the "guess what we were talking about" game was freakin' hilarious!


Friday, August 29, 2008 3:11:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

Yeah that's what nights in hotel rooms are like for us too. And I'm totally ok with that.

HBO? Take me with you! Or would that be weird?

Friday, August 29, 2008 4:12:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

It's nice to know you'll be that close to yours Savagely.
Lusting you from rather close to KC....

Friday, August 29, 2008 5:16:00 AM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

Girl, as always you are HIlarious! Have a wonderful weekend; I, myself, am looking forward to catching up on The Closer, and also, of course, finishing up MY homework for the kids' school (essays, scrapbooks, possibly maiming a teacher or two, you know the drill)
why yes I do mean THAT drill

Friday, August 29, 2008 6:12:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Sounds like a great time- I sooooo remember the whole guilting-the-grandparents-into-taking-the-kids thing.

I am also sooooo glad we're past that point, mostly- after all, my kids are old enough to leave us alone when (yawn, yawn) mommy and daddy (YAWN) need a (Stretch) nap. "'Cuz we're old, kid- we'll be down later."

Friday, August 29, 2008 6:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Kansas City nice? It looked really nice from the highway, all glittery and stuff...

Friday, August 29, 2008 7:24:00 AM  
Blogger Madame Queen said...

You're not immature, you're young at heart!

And a night, alone, in a hotel room? I'd totally be asleep by 8:30. But I'd probably wake up early (nudge nudge, wink wink).

Friday, August 29, 2008 7:28:00 AM  
Blogger Chasity said...

Have a good weekend. Sounds like you get to find out just how much fun that Holiday Inn is after all. Don't miss cleaning your toilets too much...

Friday, August 29, 2008 7:36:00 AM  
Blogger Roaming With A Hungry Heart said...

Oooo, I love hotels.
Hubby and I are going camping for the first time in a couple weeks with my college friends and spouses, but I'm hoping we can keep quiet...

Friday, August 29, 2008 7:44:00 AM  
Blogger Chuck said...

Why did I think you were younger than you were? Hmmm....you're actually older than me! ;) I'll be 40 in November.

Sounds like y'all have a fun time ahead of ya! Try not to wear out the hotel bed or think about all that's gone on in that bed before you two got there. Or about the potentially disgusting slob people who may have lay their naked asses on those sheets the night before!

Have fun! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Friday, August 29, 2008 8:23:00 AM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

A night in a hotel for us? Would totally include sleeping and television.

And food.

And sleeping.

Friday, August 29, 2008 8:33:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Last time Molly and I had the hotel action was this past spring. Unfortunately, we had 6F with us. Fortunately, she's a teenaged girl, so, "Hey, 6F, why don't you hop in the shower?" provided us all the cover we needed. . .

And Molly, who NEVER watches TV (I mean, she LOATHES the thing), spent her evenings watching 'Monk' and 'House' reruns. . .

Friday, August 29, 2008 8:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll be spending my weekend at a middle school football tournament and after that I have the pleasure of having 2 extra boys at my house for the night. Maybe when ya' get back, you could check on me and make sure I haven't drowned in all the testosterone.
Have a drink for me (I like Long Beach Teas- be careful) and HAVE FUN!

Friday, August 29, 2008 9:08:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Have the awesome time you totally deserve!

40 eh? My husband hit that milestone a year and a half ago and definitely did not get a hotel room with porn and lots of action. I think he got a nice dinner out. Lucky him, I know.

Enjoy the debauchery!

Friday, August 29, 2008 9:13:00 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

it's fate. we both wrote about boom boxes today.

or kismet as Brenda Walsh calls it ;)

Friday, August 29, 2008 9:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend and all the extra sleep and free HBO! At least you dream big.

I'll send a happy thought your way from the Rusted Root show tonight.

Friday, August 29, 2008 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger just a girl... said...

I hope I am still immature at 40. Have a great weekend.

Friday, August 29, 2008 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

Hotel Sex? Early 80's Bono? Immature 40 year olds? You are my kind of friend, FADKOG!

Have a super time. And don't do anything I wouldn't do, but if you do, name it after moi :)
Dumb, but that's what we always said in college.

Friday, August 29, 2008 11:02:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Did you guys get a better room rate with your AARP cards?

I hope the husband doesn't throw out a hip or anything during the action. FYI, Murder She Wrote comes on at 5.

[All written in love, of course. Now do me a favor and send me some video of the karaoke performance. You can also videotape the hotel room shenanigans, but I really don't need to see it.]

[Unless of course you want me to.]

Friday, August 29, 2008 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

We get plenty of alone time, - but no free HBO! Have a great time and don't be sad about all of us sitting here without our king sized beds and free HBO...

Friday, August 29, 2008 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I understand the needing of more sleep thing, especially with no kids in the other room. AND free HBO?

You are getting lucky!

Friday, August 29, 2008 11:34:00 AM  
Blogger MereCat said...

I too will be forty in a couple of months, and truly aspire to the level of immaturity that you, o great master, have achieved. I envy your pigtail twirl.

Friday, August 29, 2008 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Far luckier than I, my new BFF. Color me jealous.

Friday, August 29, 2008 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Franny said...

Nothing beats freaky hotel nookie.

I only hope I'm half as cool as you when I'm forty.

Have a great weekend.

Friday, August 29, 2008 1:49:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

Not to brag, but I'm a bit more immature than you are.

Have fun!

Friday, August 29, 2008 2:01:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Have a great time and don't let anybody rope you into watching their kids on your kid free trip. =)

Friday, August 29, 2008 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea with the Flipflops said...

Don't put you back or hip out doing any of that circus freak hotel sex! Have fun.

Friday, August 29, 2008 5:04:00 PM  
Blogger MsPicketToYou said...

i hear that 40 is the new... whatever.


Friday, August 29, 2008 5:05:00 PM  
Blogger PAPATV said...

So we're about one month away from our first baby and I say wouldn't it be nice to go stay at a hotel near the beach and Ana says "great idea, but i'll probably have to bring my body pillow" and I say "doesn't that kind of defeat the MAGIC?...i mean that's like going to a hotel and bringing your own sheets..." or, wait...am I the only one who doesn't do that?

Friday, August 29, 2008 6:35:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

omg i long for days of hotel fun. and when i say fun i mean, hot uninterrupted baths and peeing on the potty for like 2 mins without someone saying "mmoooommm!!!" at the door.

so envious.

enjoy your weekend...you deserve it!

Friday, August 29, 2008 7:17:00 PM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

Sorry no score on the jacuzzi. Perhaps your bed will be coin operated!

Friday, August 29, 2008 7:56:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Well, I have to say you don't look a year over 21 (because you need to be of drinking age) so you've done good!

Friday, August 29, 2008 11:08:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Oh! And have fun! ::wink!::

Friday, August 29, 2008 11:08:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

I'm also looking to starting my second childhood when I turn 40. Which won't be for a while since I'm still youthful.

There's nothing better than a relaxing break.

Saturday, August 30, 2008 3:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, vacation sex is the best. And craziest.

Can't wait to see the slap-happy grin on your face when you get back. Ear-to-ear.

Saturday, August 30, 2008 4:25:00 PM  
Blogger Manager Mom said...

Ah... sleep, sleepity sleep. I wish that my husband and I could get our sleep on similarly. I am getting all hot just thinking about all of your sleepingness.

Happy birthday, FADKOG. You don't look a day older then the day I first met ya.

Monday, September 01, 2008 8:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, how was it? Did it meet your expectations? More importantly, did it meet OUR expectations??

Monday, September 01, 2008 11:23:00 AM  
Blogger Alice said...

I hope your weekend was wickedly fun. ; ) I dig that you and your tool man can still get it on like that. I'm pretty sure that Babycakes and I don't have an ounce of romance in the system anymore. (But I still love him!)

Monday, September 01, 2008 3:20:00 PM  

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