...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

and when you're wise enough, you'll know...


My oldest son's voice drifts toward me from the back of the minivan as we venture out on yet another journey to his friend's house a few miles away.

"Hmmm?" I hum, clicking pause on the iPod to snuff out Katy Perry's tribute to California girls.

"How will I know when I've finally been struck by puberty?" he asks.

Before the invisible dot can be hung at the bottom of his question mark, my mind races through all the signs that have been springing up like billboards around me to signal my son's arrival at this most magically awkward time in life.

That voice that's just queried me. The one that seems deeper today than the day before.

The time spent traversing to and from the bathroom to ponder the state of his lengthening hair.

Speaking of lengthening, how about those showers, huh? The quick "Did you really, really take a shower?" showers have been replaced and now force us to yell things like "Water doesn't grow on trees, you know!" to get him to finally shut it down.

The golden downy fuzz I've noticed starting to tickle his upper lip.

His realization that he now kinda sorta (his words, not mine) thinks girls are far more interesting for far more reasons than he did a few short months (perhaps weeks) ago.

My realization that the person plugged into his cell phone contact list as 'T-Rex' who clogs many of the entries in the 'calls made' and 'calls received' categories is in fact a girl and neither a boy whose name starts with the letter T who thinks he's super cool nor a real tyrannosaurus Rex, which WOULD be super cool, but also seemingly impossible thanks to said species incredibly short arm-to-ear reach.

The musky scent of Old Spice deodorant that hits me in the face each time I pass his bedroom. It comes from the sample-size stick he's waited patiently to use since receiving it during his fifth grade puberty class and seems to crash forcibly against the impenetrable wall of generally odd odors boys just seem to put out.

All the time spent in front of the bathroom mirror flexing his muscles and admiring his, and I quote, six-pack like he's The Situation. Of course, this time of worship only happens when he's finally given up pushing his bangs back and forth in an unrelenting quest to achieve the perfect style.

I glance in the rear view mirror and smile as I catch sight of him waiting for my response.

"Oh, honey...I'm pretty sure you'll feel the sting when puberty ups and smacks you one."



Blogger Logical Libby said...

You need to start drinking more... NOW!!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010 9:55:00 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

I love how he wonders about 'being struck' by puberty; truer than he knows. . .

And, uh. . . If 'T Rex' is a girl, shouldn't she be 'T Regina'? (Being, of course, careful to pronounce it 'jean-a', and not like the city in Saskatchewan)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010 10:35:00 PM  
Blogger Stone Fox said...

this post made me lol. i have two little boys and i know my time is coming.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010 11:51:00 PM  
Blogger jennyonthespot said...

I am seeing glimpses of this with my own son now... Oh my...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 12:13:00 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

I love the part about T-Rex's "incredibly short arm-to-ear reach".

I also love how he expects to be "struck" by puberty - kind of like by lightning.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 2:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Boo talks about it all the time. And it breaks my heart cause you KNOW who will be the poor sucker who will be shaving him... ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 3:50:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I started shaving when I was 11....

word veri: tronv

how awesome is that? Tron V rules!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 5:13:00 AM  
Blogger Kevin McKeever said...

We had that explosion recently w/ one of the Things ... if you know what I mean, girlfriend.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 10:29:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

The shower time here for my 15 YO son will soon bring Al Gore breaking down my front door.

And I'm considering rewriting that California Girls song into a Midwest Girls song and posting it.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

Hey! You commented on our comments in the last post. You need to warn us about this!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 10:48:00 AM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

My 10 year old has been struck by the puberty missile as well.

She's all moody and spewing forth hormones like she invented them.

It's gonna get worse before it gets better. Jeez.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 12:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man he's going to be a MAN soon! Good luck!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger The Invisible Seductress said...

Scary times. I have two girls 12 and 10.My 12 year old said that she heard ALL about a "woman's" cycle. I had told her a little bit and then a teenage family friend filled in the rest. She was very concerned about telling her sister. Her sister is VERY VERY dramatic, she submitted that if we did not tell her the right way her sister would most certainly have a breakdown because she would KNOW she was going to bleed to death. I can't stop worrying about those two.

My son is 4, I worry he will never out grow Beiber.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 1:20:00 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

perfect! we are in the midst of the summer of the artfully arranged hair around here. it's so sweet and odd and scary all at the same time. his little sister and i are loving sniffing the old spice, too.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 1:45:00 PM  
Blogger Homemaker Man said...

You're very calm. I'm pretty sure that's when I would've driven our car into a tree.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 2:28:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

All I remember about the process is the acne.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 5:04:00 PM  
Blogger the weirdgirl said...

Ha! Good answer too. At least you didn't tell him, "Oh honey, when you're way too embarrassed to ask ME about puberty... then you'll know it has struck."

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 5:59:00 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Just around the corner, son, just around the corner.

Good luck with that!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

Aww the old spice sample thing is sweet! I agree with Libby--start drinking more!! ;-)

Thursday, July 15, 2010 7:00:00 AM  
Blogger lime said...

you smell old spice but not that powerfully peculiar pungence that only a pubescent boy can produce? seriously, they can attain stink like not even a grown man who has chopped wood in 100 degree weather then let himself ferment for hours can achieve.

Thursday, July 15, 2010 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt Juicebox said...

Aww! Growing up is bittersweet.

Thursday, July 15, 2010 1:26:00 PM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

Brilliant! I'm sending this to my sister (my nephew is going through this, too!).

Thursday, July 15, 2010 5:29:00 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Thank God, I got all 3 boys past puberty, and almost all the way through adolescence.

Unfortunately for me, I have a 13 year old girl, too, lol.

Good luck!

Thursday, July 15, 2010 6:38:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

The closer Girl Spawn gets to puberty, the more I start to freak out...I sympathize completely!

And your T Rex comment made me think of this scene from Meet The Robinsons which of course made me giggle.

Thursday, July 15, 2010 7:45:00 PM  
Blogger justmakingourway said...

GAH! Puberty! I'm afraid...

Saturday, July 17, 2010 1:05:00 PM  
Blogger A Vapid Blonde said...

It must just be impossibly hard...er

Impossibly awkward is what I meant to say.

I am so glad I just have to yell at my male dog to keep his snout out of the females hooch.

over and over and over.

Monday, July 19, 2010 8:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I did so many dumb things because of puberty.

Monday, July 19, 2010 8:55:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home