the vacation of your dreams, all inclusive
So some notes from the great American highway:
- You may read me and think "Wow! I bet that girl talks all the damn time! I bet she never shuts up! I'm glad I've never gotten trapped on the telephone with her!" Well, my friends, you'd be wrong. My mom began talking at 8:33 a.m. Monday morning as she backed out of my driveway and she never shut up for the next seven hours. Not. Once. Even to breath. I am overwhelmed.
- She also took her reign in the driver's seat to mandate no stopping. Not once. By five hours in, I was clawing at the passenger side window, hoping to alert passing motorists to the horror movie this little journey had become.
- Within one hour of my arrival at my sisters, I had played Barbies (thank you, Jesus), and did a little cheerleading. Complete with pom poms! Good to know that "fire cracker, fire cracker, boom, boom, boom..." has never gone out of style. You should see the one with the way sexy hip circles my 7 year old niece taught me after that.
- My sister says "supposevly" rather than "supposedly".
- As predicted, within in two hours, I was following like a sheep as we wandered aimlessly through this town's Walmart. And not just any kind of Walmart. A brand new, super shiny Super Walmart. Whatever. The highlight? The shoplifter that was busted as we walked out. So we had to drive by the four police cars that came to take him in. Because secretly, I'm an 80 year old woman who drives slowly anyway and this is the highlight of my week.
- This comes to you via dial-up. DIAL UP! Two tiny fleas are housed within the computer, etching this magnificent writing onto stone tablets as I type this, so I imagine this post will show up about the time I arrive home. If I don't jump out of the car on the way home. It could happen.
- Now we're watching Monday Night Raw. One day I will take a vacation where the climate is warm, the men are deliciously hairy chested and they bring me something other than Kool Aid to drink. But if they can do that hip circle cheer as they do it, it's all good.
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 10:00 PM
12 Comments:
Lordy, hopefully all goes well for the rest of the week. Enjoy (or try to).
Cheers
Yikes. You sure you're not visiting MY family???? It sure sounds like it.
Stacie
Just be grateful you don't have pre-teen male converts to the First Church of Johnny Knoxville wandering the neighborhood streets, launching bottle rockets by hand into people's lawns for amusement. That was my Saturday evening, and I didn't even have to travel to get that.
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2amosmewhere
I think we should get your mom and my MIL together for a winner take all talk off. I see world record potential here. Super Wal Mart, wow you are one lucky chick.
kwuck (sounds like a duck with a speech impediment)
Wow, Wal-mart *AND* professional wrestling on TV? All in one day?
With a start that immensely enjoyable, this vacation really has nowhere to go but down.
Yah as Stacie said, are you sure it's not my family either? Cause that vacations sounds very similar! Especially that damn Monday Night Raw Crap. Holy cow, if I have to sit through my dad watching that shit one more time, I will shoot myself directly in the head. I will not pass go, or collect two hundred dollars.
I'm deliciously hairy chested and am back...
did ya miss me?
I'll bring you something other than Kool Aid.... Hows about a Mixed drink of your preference?
I must say, I am a new viewer and now an apt reader. I love people with wit and someone who gets a little cheer every time someone is caught doing something wrong. Have a great week.
Well, did you have a fun time? I love brand spanking new wal marts
Lol! you guys really need a vacation that doesn't include a wal-mart or Monday night Raw. Hang there you'll be home soon.
S.R.
Do you mean to tell me that there are still people in the US that are living in the stone ages still? Using Dial up? What's up with that?! Even my 83 year old Grandma has DSL.
I hope you survive long enough wherever you are to see high speed internet soon.
CH
I'd give you all a little individual love, but I'm suffering the residual impact of having to go to bed so damn early while I was away. Instead, I say I love to see the new people stopping through and leaving comments, and give the shouts to my lovely regulars...
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