i can feel it coming in the air tonight

To the inventors of medicine, I would like to extend my greatest thanks. Your healing powers, the ones I am now starting to bask in after sucking up the co-pay to see a doctor and pleading for potions that would make me feel better, are beginning to take hold, and the light I see at the end of this long illness no longer involves my grandparents waving me over to the great beyond with promises of quarters and M&M's.

I love you, medicine inventors. I'd kiss you, but I'm probably still a carrier. So, just close your eyes and imagine Please don't touch me in places reserved for the down there doctor, though. I love you, but I'm not going all the way with you. Unless you approach me after I've downed my afternoon codeine cocktail. Then we'll have to see how things play out. Just ask my husband. I'm pretty sure my virulent love germs are what gave my Tool Man the vapors two days ago, thus marking the opening ceremonies of the "Ohhh, my body aches and I've got a fever-lympics" at my house. Games include tissue tossing, bucket hurdles, and endurance whining. The torch isn't snuffed until the last person pukes on it.

Thank you all for the get well wishes and Ferris quotes. I actually missed the majority of the television broadcast Monday because I was able to get a morning doctor's appointment. Here's a tip to getting those. Call as soon as the office opens. Begin crying as soon as you get a live voice. Yes, I can be there at 9 a.m.! Thank you, gracious lady who serves at the gateway between me and the doctor. Thank you.

Eventually I'll have a real post that doesn't involve me whining or talking about eggs. I can't promise that I'll not be quoting from movies I love, though, so don't expect miracles. I am the girl who cranked more than 30 comments out of a post about Dennis DeYoung, after all.

In the meantime, I'd like to extend my thanks to the person who found my blog via a search for "farting contests and cool moms." My kids will be packed and waiting on the front steps, bloated and ready to impress, within 20 minutes of getting home from school today. I'll toss in the Tool Man at no additional charge. I look forward to clearing the air, and allowing our non-existent dog to rest easy, not having to shoulder so much blame.

Additionally, thank you to the person whose multiple Google searches for "Bigfoot stalking near homes" keeps them coming back to me. Like I need that stress! It's bad enough I fear Bigfoot, but now I have to fear when the hairy beast shows up, he's going to be bringing a friend. I'm under enough stress right now as it is.

Except it will all be better soon. Just like me, because right now, it's time for my medicine. I've been thinking things over as I write this, and I think I will, in fact, go all the way with the inventor of codeine. Would someone please do a Google search and find out who that is so I can let them know? Fingers crossed it's not Bigfoot. Fingers and toes crossed it's not a farting Bigfoot.