...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

...what have i done for you lately?

i'm coming clean right now with all of you and admitting something about myself that causes me a great deal of frustration and kills my time.

deep breath. ok.

i'm just a girl who can't say no.

i have a feeling all my girls out there are nodding, cheering 'yes!' to the 'no' problem because they know of what i speak. and part of me hopes the boys who so loyally stop by or hide out in the bushes and peek in through my windows are sitting back in their chairs, clasping their hands behind their head, smirking and saying 'alright!'

sorry, boys. hard to believe, but sometimes i do have the ability to say no.

well, only to the jehoviah's witnesses and magazine pimps who come to my door on a regular basis, but that usually just involves me holing up like a hostage in my house until they leave, so i'm not so much exerting my freewill as i am just being a coward.

in my unintentional quest to be the nicest damn girl you've ever encountered, i've been consumed lately with appointments, tasks and time killers that ensures me a gold medal win in people pleasing (again, this is where i picture the boys now rubbing their hands together...). i feel that i alone have the ability to make you happy, ensure your comfort, bestow you with fine gifts and perhaps meet your sales quota for the quarter. just this week, i've:

  • attended a super fun mary kay facial party! why can't i go to one of these every week!? i adore getting pressured into spending insane amounts of cash on potions and creams i can get at target at a price (clearance, baby!) that won't make me feel guilty. no offense to anyone in the mary kay mob, but seriously, these are the women i've come to respect for they do know the power of 'no' and how to plow right through it until you're crying 'yes' in such an ecstatic state you need to change your panties. you will not escape attending a party. if you're like me, you also won't escape buying something, and the cheapest thing is pretty much the cost of groceries at my house for two weeks.
  • gotten myself sucked into creating a yearly child care schedule for church. this will also inevitably involve me having to do some of said care even though i kept saying no, no, really no, i don't want to do this (obviously that worked out well for me...). my anxiety at getting roped into this has caused me to not call people and therefore suffer the wrath of those demanding it. ah, a church of love...
  • been guilted into going to work on days i wasn't scheduled, only to stand around being bored, which i can do at home pretty well. the only upside, well, is money.
  • attended the second of three baby showers for a relative, and bought a damn gift each time.

perhaps these seem pretty tame, but as women, we're made to feel inferior or rude if we don't say yes to everything asked of us. you can only fake a busy schedule, blame your spouse or kids for eating your time or simply hide out and not answer the telephone for so long, my friends. women are bitches if we don't say yes to things, but we respect and are in awe of those among us who can say 'no.' it makes my stomach knot and i bitch to everyone (like all of you, suckers!) about how i don't want to do what i've put myself out there for except the person to whom i really want to say no to. this would explain the countless times i've agreed to dog sit, attend yet another pampered chef, candle or jewelry party and agreed to make dinner for someone 'just because.'

come to think of it, it may also explain how i ended up married.

hmmm...there's something to ponder for another post.

at any rate, it's obvious i'm a sucker (again, you boys are so hot for me now, aren't you? good, good boys). you can ask me anything because really...no, really...i just want you to be happy.

but god, please, no more mary kay parties for awhile, ok? i'm weak.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keeper of the child care schedule eh? I have one word for you SUCKER!!!! Hmmmm what could I ask you to do? I'm not planing any makeup or cooking parties. I know. So would you like to hear all about how you can get rich and happy selling Amway?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 3:23:00 PM  
Blogger Edtime Stories said...

so you don't say no easily....hmmmmm thinking what to ask of you.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 4:33:00 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

You said it, sister. We all need to embrace the power of no, and who cares if taht makes us bitches?? Say no!!! Say it loud!!! Say it proud!!!

(What? The condo association needs a secretary? Why yes, I'd love to!)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 6:12:00 PM  
Blogger Cherrie said...

Here's wise advice from my man (which he repeats at least three times a day): Do what you want to do. Don't do what you don't want to do just to please someone else. A friend will understand why you are saying no. What do you care what someone who's not your friend thinks?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 11:56:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I am feeling you on this one :), except for I even fall for the watchtower folks and the magazines (remember, this is why I don't answer the door).

My grandmother is the only woman I know that can say no....her line--"it's not that I don't want to..."
whatever grandma, we all know you don't want to, but kudos for saying NO!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 2:48:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I guess I won't invite you over for a Passion Party....;)


Wednesday, October 25, 2006 2:52:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Jehova's witnesses don't like talking to me much.. Considering I tend to say things like.. "Wait. Before you begin is it true that only 144,000 are going to make it to Heaven? (pause for answer which is yes) So with the millions who are and have been Jehova's witnesses in the past and present even those in the futire to come... what are your chances?"

They don't seem to like that question very much.. No clue why...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 4:01:00 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Jehovah's Witnesses think only 144,000 are getting into Heaven?? Crazy. I'll have to swing by the Kindom Hall on the corner and ask about that. Wait, no ... I'll just let it be a mystery.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 7:07:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

FL - Amway was damn near a reason why I considered ending my engagement before we married. In his desire to make us a "secure" future, he bought into the scheme. To say I was unhappy would be a disservice to all unhappy people who came before me!

Ed - I've got a feeling you're going to spring some interesting question on me someday.

Kelly - would you be interested in helping man a child check-in table for a month at a time?! No big commitment and if I can get someone else to help, you're only looking at three times a year!

Please? Seriously...I'm near the begging point...

Nanette - girl, you better invite me to a Passion Party! That one I'd be all over, for you know my fondness for paying for lovely pieces of plastic with my plastic! Cost is obviously not an issue, according to my dolphin friend! Forgive this awful pun, but I'd scream 'yes, yes, oh god yes' to such an invite!

Savage - thanks for stopping thru! I find that interesting about the JWs, and am now considering opening the door to the boys in their white shirts and ties and laying it on them. Somehow I think you make a more interesting case than I would, though. Wanna come out and be my hostage lookout?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 10:05:00 PM  
Blogger James Scolari said...

hmm.. shall i tell your loyal readers how much of that "busy" time is spent loitering on naked websites and cruising the chat world?

not that I'm complaining, mind you, but *ahem* ... a little more truth in reporting, please!

Thursday, October 26, 2006 12:02:00 PM  

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