...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

sometimes i have to put my pride aside

So here's a secret about me. I dig talking during sex. I'm a fan of the well-intentioned, perfectly appropriate to the occasion chit chat. Whereas I don't tend to read directions when I'm learning something new, trust that I'm oh so happy getting a step-by-step, "put Tab A into Slot B" discourse on what you're planning to do and how you're going to do it when sex is in play.

With that secret out, let me now tell you a little secret about my husband. He doesn't quite have the gift for gab that I do. Oh, he's getting better, but it's still a work in progress. So he should be quite thankful my patented "sex move" had worked and I was already naked and in position Saturday afternoon when he leaned in, gave me a smile and saw my anticipation for his words swell nicely.

Because instead of some insanely sexy prose, I got this.

That's right.

I got the "Cornholio" routine. Complete with the Beavis voice.

After he repeated it (because in my disbelief I whipped my head around and asked him what in the hell he'd just said), he laughed. At himself. Like Butthead.

So another secret about me. I'm apparently easy. I never actually thought I was, but when he finished laughing and I'd gotten quite dizzy from shaking my head in disbelief, I shrugged my naked shoulders, gave him this, and told him to give me his tool.

Huh huh. I said tool.

We're so stupid. At least we have each other to score with.


Blogger Nanette said...

Huh, huh, huh uhuh you said score.

Which reminds me of the time I got wasted at a bar with a friend and her husband--she sat in disbelief as her husband and I started doing beavis and butthead, "fire" "fire" and rolling out of our chairs with laughter. Apparently she was not a fan, or as drunk as we were.


Thursday, June 28, 2007 2:04:00 AM  
Blogger Edtime Stories said...

why do I always feel like I have nothing to add to your posts??????
huggggggg dear.

Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:02:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...


You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole.

I bet this was the best sex ever. And thanks, by the way, for making Beavis and Butthead into some sort of homoerotic thing.

I think your husband and I would get along quite well. I mean, not in a sexual way, but... Oh never mind.

Come to Butthead...

Thursday, June 28, 2007 8:01:00 AM  
Blogger 2amsomewhere said...

Reading Comprehension

The best title for this story is:

a) Roleplay, Redefined

b) Everything I Know about Foreplay, I Learned from Mtv

d) No Laughing

c) Mike Judge is God

Bonus Question

True or False: Had FAKDOG said "penis" instead of "tool", the laughing would be so hysterical that neither side would be able to continue with the act.

Enrichment Exercise

Continue the sexual explorations with a session where the participants play the role of Hank & Peggy Hill. If that seems too mundane, try a tawdry tryst between Dale and Boomhauer at an interstate rest area instead.

Thursday, June 28, 2007 8:14:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Now that is awesome. I'm all for humor during The Sex, as long as you're not laughing at each other about technique or equipment. There is no reason why a place cannot be found in foreplay for quoting television.

For me, I sometimes sleep with Chandler Bing*, but Beavis probably works just as well.

*Of course not the ACTUAL Chandler Bing!

Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:56:00 AM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

Awwww...you guys "get" each other. That is so sweet!
My DH quotes B&B all the time too..thankfully not in bed, or I don't think I'd stop laughing long enough to get anything accomplished.


Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:15:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nanette - I tended to find, in my drinking days, that very few people were actually as drunk as I was!

Ed - Ah! You just saying that adds stuff for me! You can say anything, anytime, dear!

FTN - For a brief flash of time, I had this whole threesome thing go through my head. Then you blew it for me by denying me my wish. Sigh.

And don't you think that Beavis and Butthead pretty much had the homoerotic thing down well before I ever played it out here and in my own bedroom?

Back to reviving the threesome thoughts...

2am - AH! Where were you when it was *actually* 2 a.m. here and I was struggling with a snarky way to title this post!? Not being the world's largest B&B fan, I coulda used a hand!

Therese - Could that *BE* any cuter?!

I'd probably do the actual (albeit it yes, fictional) Chandler Bing...

Stacie - heh..."get things accomplished"..heh...

Friday, June 29, 2007 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First nose hair and now this. You have redefined foreplay for me.

Sunday, July 01, 2007 6:36:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Finished - One day, a book with all my patented foreplay moves will be available for purchse.

Sunday, July 01, 2007 11:57:00 PM  

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