...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, November 14, 2008

'you know i like my girls a little bit older...'

Tomorrow I celebrate my birthday. My Mom will call to sing "Happy Birthday" to me in a voice that will cause me to place my hand over the receiver and whisper to Tool Man, "I think Mom's drunk!" Tool Man will shake his head and whisper back, "Your Mom doesn't drink before 9 a.m., remember?" "Don't be so sure of that," I'll think before responding, "Oh, that's right. Huh. Well, maybe I should!" Then Tool Man will shake his head at me in that exasperated way he has that pretty much says, "You're a nut," but rather than just say that out loud to me, Tool Man sticks to that whole "man of few words" routine he adopted after we got married.

Then he'll hand me a card he printed off the computer approximately 45 minutes before I woke up that he'll have signed "Love, Your Husband, INSERT MY HUSBAND'S NAME HERE," tell me to have a good day, and then take off for points two hours west because he has to work, then I'll gather up the boys and we'll venture to the Big City for a basketball clinic at 11 a.m., return home, then gather back up for a return trip to the Big City for a basketball game at 3:30 p.m.

That's the makings of a pretty damn fine birthday right there. Yep. I believe this is what happens when you get what's commonly referred to as "Older."

Except I hope like heaven there's a cake somewhere in this equation because it goes without saying I love me some cake. Cake buried under glacial mountains of frosting. I love frosting so much that I've mentioned my fondness for it in excess of ten times on this blog (and points beyond at various other blogs), all of which I'd link for you, but let's be honest. How many of you click any links when you stumble upon them in a blog post?

(ahem - I DO!)

Suffice to say, I love frosting. My appreciation to those of you who've put up with me when our conversations have veered in the direction of that topic. You know who you are (And you're probably wishing that, based upon some of the things we've talked about, we'd actually talked about my fondant fondness far more frequently).

Anyway, the point of this post isn't to go on and on about how special my birthday is to me.

(ahem - IT IS!)

No. The point of this post is to tell you why my birthday is so special to Tool Man.

November 15th marks the point in our marriage when I'm exactly eight months and four days older than Tool Man. If you know anything about me at all after spending any amount of time here, you can probably guess what that means:

Yep! It means that until July 19, 2009, I GET TO TOTALLY GO COUGAR ON MY TOOL MAN!

OK, so he's no Joe Jonas or Zac Ephron (But who is? Other than the actual Joe Jonas and Zac Ephron, duh!)(Also, you totally didn't click over to those links to previous posts, did you? I KNEW IT!), but Tool Man is totally cute, even if the only article of clothing he's worn in the last 15 years that qualifies as "skinny" is a black knit tie he wore at his job selling computers at the now-defunct OfficeMax, and even then he shouldn't have been wearing it because it was 1994, and he bought that tie in 1986 (approximately the last time such ties were fashionable) for his high school graduation, and if he'd known me then and asked for my opinion, I'd have shaken my head and been all, "No. Oh no, no, no, Huey Lewis, because that's who you look like with that tie on," but Tool Man starts with 'T' and 'T' rhymes with 'tight' and that's what Tool Man is with a dollar, thus why buy a new tie when one that's eight years old will suffice?

(sidebar - Tool Man shaved off his mustache shortly after we met because he asked my opinion of it and I shook my head and was all, "No. Oh no, no, no!" Think Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. That was Tool Man before the glory of love.)

(p.s. - Tool Man? If by some miracle of the Gods you actually read this post, I'm happy to be stuck with you)

Anyway, for a few blissful months, Tool Man's younger than me - even if it's not within what I assume is the standard cougar operating system of approximately 20 years younger - so he now must spend this time either (A) withstanding the advances of my advancing age, or (B) caving to my powers so I can paw at him as the wise woman I've become. As anticipated, when I informed Tool Man of this, he shook his head at me in that exasperated way he has that pretty much says, "You're a nut" (I know. I just repeated myself. Because I'm old now, and old people like to tell you the same stories over and over again!), but I told him that nuts were optional.

Now...frosting, on the other hand...



Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday Mr. President.
Happy birthday to you.

Friday, November 14, 2008 12:08:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

BP Dad - I just checked, because you had me worried.

Thankfully, there's a lot more Mrs. going on than Mr. Wooh! Dodged a bullet on that one!

Friday, November 14, 2008 12:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So far, all I've read is the title, but I had to self-interrupt to applaud your most excellent use of The Outfield lyrics. Ahhhh, 1986. Those were the days.

Friday, November 14, 2008 12:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I made you a cake, but I eated it.


Friday, November 14, 2008 12:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I'm done reading, and I want to say Happy Birthday and I hope you get your cake and your mountain of icing. But you just reminded me that very soon, I, also, will spend some months (5 months and 6 days, to be exact) in "I'm not just old I'm also older than my husband" hell and now I want to go back to how I felt when I read your post title so could you please Eternal Sunshine the rest of this away now? kthxbai

Friday, November 14, 2008 12:21:00 AM  
Blogger Lipstick Jungle said...

Happy happy birthday!!!

I do not like frosting, so next time I bake a cake, I will just mail you the frosting. Ok, well, if it is dark fudge chocolate frosting I wont, because that doesnt count as frosting. But I can pretend I am baking a cake that needs maybe cream cheese frosting and just send it on down.

I have to travel to that godforsakenland in two weeks so maybe I will just toss it on over.

I always knew you were a cougar! Have fun basketing with the boyz!

Friday, November 14, 2008 1:15:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Pink Frosting!

Happy Birthday Your Differentness....

Friday, November 14, 2008 4:54:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

Happy Birthday FADKKOG! And take it easy on the Tool Boy over the next couple of months. He's just an innocent.

Friday, November 14, 2008 5:50:00 AM  
Blogger Chasity said...

Happy Birthdy tomorrow. Maybe you can manage to squeeze in some Cougar time between basketball committments, or after. 8 months, that doesn't leave you with much time...enjoy it while you've got it.

Friday, November 14, 2008 6:08:00 AM  
Blogger MichelleB said...

Happy Birthday!

I hate getting older too but when my hubby surprised me with a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings from www.idonowidont.com it made me feel young on my birthday.

I also love the Cradle Of Love song!

Friday, November 14, 2008 6:14:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

My life would definitely be easier if I could just stick a candle in a can of frosting on birthdays--but sad to say, my kids want their cake and want to eat it too.

Happy Birthday! Cougar away!!

Friday, November 14, 2008 6:19:00 AM  
Blogger graham's mom said...

Happy birthday! This was my first birthday with kid this year...it was, oh, less eventful than previous occasions. Have a good one! Oh, and once in college I got stoned and ate an entire can of frosting. It didn't sour me on it, though. Frosting and I are still totally tight.

Friday, November 14, 2008 6:47:00 AM  
Blogger DKC said...

Happy Happy Birthday!!! (tomorrow).

I too, love me some frosting - fondant does nothing for me though.

That Cradle of Love video is a riot! Ah, nothing like a little early 90's immorality to get the morning going!

Friday, November 14, 2008 8:38:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Happy Birthday! Anyone born in November is especially smart, beautiful and funny for some reason.

Friday, November 14, 2008 8:39:00 AM  
Blogger xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008 8:57:00 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Happy Birthday! Gggrrrr.... (that's a cougar growl, by the way.)

Friday, November 14, 2008 8:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoa, Cougar enjoy your time stalking the young ones.

You may be a nut, but you're the nut Tool Man loves. And sometimes you feel like a nut... Sorry, couldn't resist.

Happy almost birthday!

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're like the midwestern version of Ashton and Demi.
Happy birthday! I'll Fed Ex you some frosting, I hope it's still good when it gets there.

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't have to lose your love tonight.

Happy Birthday! Eat lots of frosting and cake. I think I might do so also, and raise a toast to you (or cupcake, you know).

And, btw, as long as the links are not back to back comment-baiting, I do usually click over, too.

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:37:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

I'm still confused how you can be exactly eight months and four days older than your husband ONLY ON NOVEMBER 15. Isn't that the case pretty much, uh, all the time?

I didn't click on any of this links. I'm an ass. I figure you are used to that by now.

Enjoy your birthday. I got you a clown.

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:46:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis Renée said...

I love cake frosting so much I volunteer at parties, wedding receptions, etc. to cut the cake, just so I can scrape the extra frosting off the knife onto a plate I reserve for myself. I know, I know I'm weird.

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:50:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

ftn - No need to get technical, Mr. Mathy! I hope Dumps comes with enough balloons to make animals for everyone!

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:51:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

I think that while the kids are playing basketball, you should swing by the store and buy a tub of icing and eat it all by yourself.

Happy Birthday!

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

I am currently sitting in bed eating a tub of frosting and thinking of you. And that's as dirty as it sounds. Happy happy birthday xoxo

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Frosting yum. I think that is what I will have for dinner tonight.

Damn I forgot how hot that video is.

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope your expectations for the day are surpassed by the Tool Man and your offspring -- have a great, great birthday.

(And yes, I'm still laughing at the "Kip from Napoleon Dynamite = Tool Man before the glory of love" bit. I've never had a mental image of him before, but I sure do now.)

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger María said...

Happy Birthday love! I hope it's the best day ever. I'm making cupcakes today: golden yellow with chocolate buttercream frosting. It was a spur of the moment decision, but now I'm going to tell myself that we're intuitively connected and it was in honor of your birthday all along.

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger María said...

I'm such a stalker/weido/nutcase.

You'll get used to it. :P

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger Bunny said...

Happy Birthday!!

We're in the period where my spousal unit and I are the same age, but in March the world will return to normal as he turns 42 and I remain blissfully 41 and six months. Problem is, even though he is older people continue to think I'm "at least" a couple years older than him. It's been that way since we started dating and all our co-workers accused me of robbing the cradle. Hmpf.

Friday, November 14, 2008 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Happy Birthday tomorrow!

I didn't click on any of the links today. My link clickage is inversely proportional to how overwhelmed with things to do I feel.

With a word verification of "burpers" I think it's trying to tell me something.

Friday, November 14, 2008 11:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


And have a great weekend!

Friday, November 14, 2008 11:14:00 AM  
Blogger PAPATV said...

I've always said your profile picture is purposefully mysterious because truth is none of us men here (and perhaps a few curious ladies) could handle your hawt cougarness!


Friday, November 14, 2008 11:14:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Happy Birthday. May health and Happiness be your lot. and cake, and Tool Man.

P.S. the "man of few words" thing is all about survival.

Friday, November 14, 2008 11:28:00 AM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

Rock the Cradle of birthday love...

Happy Day to you!

Friday, November 14, 2008 11:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A whole load of frosting is in the post...

Friday, November 14, 2008 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger MereCat said...

Happy BIrthday! I hope you get lots of frosting and maybe a little cake with it. And may you not spend the entire day in a car or watching basketball. I know you won't. I'm sure there will be birthday tales to tell!

I loved this post, and I even watched the entire video wearing a little half smile.

Friday, November 14, 2008 12:40:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin McKeever said...

Buttercreme isn't sweet enough for you, dear. Now just put your lips together ... and blow.

Out the candles.

Hurray, before the frickin' cake burns down.

Hope your wishes come true.

Friday, November 14, 2008 1:06:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

You say it's your birthday? It's TOTALLY NOT my birthday, too!

Happy Birthday, you sexy ass bitch.

Friday, November 14, 2008 1:19:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Many happy returns of tomorrow. I hope your day is covered in frosting from head to foot.

BTW, we in England refer to frosting as "icing." This is what comes of living in a monarchy, dammit!

Friday, November 14, 2008 1:30:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

Happy Birthday for tomorrow.

Friday, November 14, 2008 2:12:00 PM  
Blogger B said...

I'm new around these parts, but I figure, what better way to announce myself than to wish you a happy birthday!?! So... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

P.S. Ok, ok... you caught me... I'm not that new. I've been stalking your place for a while now... I've read pretty much all your posts. ***Sighs in disbelief at herself.*** Does that make me creepy? Yeah... probly. But really, I'm not that creepy. I've just had a lot of free time on my hands recently... and I've found your blog a wonderful way to pass the long boring hours.

Anywho... Happy Birthday and have a wonderful day!

Friday, November 14, 2008 2:21:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Well dang it! I was gonna say the same thing as FTN. 'Cuz really, I'm MUCH Mathy-er than he is.

Molly and I are now in the 7/12 of the year in which we are the same integral number of years in age. But come March, I'm properly older than her for five months. . .

But hey, before I forget. . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Friday, November 14, 2008 2:29:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea with the Flipflops said...

Welcome to Cougarvill again! I do Cougar 24/7! Oh yes I do. Big Daddy is 2 yrs younger then me... and we both love it that way.


Friday, November 14, 2008 2:45:00 PM  
Blogger Chibi said...

Happy birthday! Hope your day is great! :)

Friday, November 14, 2008 4:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

Maybe your day will be filled with uh...frosting and that chick on the Billy Idol video.

I mean, if you don't want her...you can always return her. I'll send you my address ;)

Happy Birthday again!

Friday, November 14, 2008 5:09:00 PM  
Blogger Chat Blanc said...

Wishing you a Happy Birthday with lots and lots of frosting on top!! :D

Friday, November 14, 2008 6:08:00 PM  
Blogger Sherendipity said...

I think you make a wicked cougar, sugarpie.

Friday, November 14, 2008 6:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!!

My hubby got hit on by a cougar once. I came out of the bathroom in Vegas and an 80ish year old woman (very drunk btw) was hangin alllll over him in the casino. I don't think I've ever seen him look so uncomfortable in my life. It was priceless. Yeah, he attracts all the hot ones.

Friday, November 14, 2008 8:11:00 PM  
Blogger Seriously Brenda said...

Okay I am totally replaying "the scene" in Sixteen Candles except that I am not going to ask you to give your panties away. ;-)

Happy Birthday!! I hope you get tons of frosting!

Friday, November 14, 2008 8:22:00 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Happy birthday sweetie!! I hope you get to enjoy your day, and I hope you get lots of frosting. In fact, maybe you should just go buy a few cans of it, and have at it with a spoon. :D

P.S. Do you ever wish you could just be a kid again on your birthday? I do. Birthdays kind of suck when you're a grown-up. But have fun anyway!!

Friday, November 14, 2008 9:04:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...


I hope you have the best frosting cake ever!

Saturday, November 15, 2008 12:08:00 AM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Happy Birthday!
Hope your day was filled with lots of frosting and yuminess.
Gotta love those younger men.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 1:03:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

Happy Birthday dear frosting lover. Pink frosting indeed. Good choice!

And..um...I totally click every link I see in people's posts, and have often ended up in some questionable areas of the internet. I'm glad yours are mostly safe (hello..Zac Ephron).

I'll crack a bottle of wine in your honour tonight.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 9:04:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

Hope you have a super-duper frosting filled birthday! Enjoy your cougarness!

Saturday, November 15, 2008 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

aww happy birthday chickie!
i hope you enjoy your special day with your special little men.

eat cake and be well.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

Happy, happy birthday, sweet girl. I wish I could pop by your house with a can of Duncan Hines Chocolate frosting, which we would eat directly from the can with spoons as I regaled you with my story of following Huey Lewis around the Atlanta airport then standing next to him on the underground shuttle without ever speaking. Instead, I will write loving run-on sentences and heat up my Trader Joe's lava cake in your honor.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day!

Saturday, November 15, 2008 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Mariah said...

Have a Great B-day!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008 3:05:00 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

Happy BIrthday to you , cha-cha- cha!!!

I'm totally making us drinks right now. If you don't get your ass over here for your birthday drink, I'll have to drink it for you. I'll force myself.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 6:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy birthday! Hope it's a good one!


Saturday, November 15, 2008 6:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A very, very happy birthday to you! And wishes for lots of frosting. All over the Tool Man. Yeah, I totally got your real birthday wish.

You fabulous cougar, you.

Sunday, November 16, 2008 2:02:00 AM  
Blogger Barb Chamberlain said...

I just had my birthday (a few days before yours), so I'm two years older than my Husband Dearest until next August, when I'm just one year older, but we know we're actually the same age forever.

But then my oldest turned 18, magically making me older than I was before that happened.

Your blog is the one that makes me shoot coffee out my nose more than any other, as I said when I recommended it on my own. My post is one of those vicious blogger tagging schemes :D with the meme of 5 Things You Don't Know About Me.

Now, given the nature of your blog I'm not sure there are 5 items unknown to your readers available for you to write about :D, but I'd sure love to read them (and shoot more caffeinated beverage through the sinus passages).


Sunday, November 16, 2008 4:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy B-day or in Italian "Tanti Auguri a te!"

Sunday, November 16, 2008 7:03:00 PM  
Blogger Lollie said...

I kind of got a crap cake for my birthday this year and it bugged me for two days...until I went to Publix and bought my own damn birthday cake. Then I was happy again!

Sunday, November 16, 2008 8:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am super late to this party, but hope you had a terrific birthday. Being two (and a half) years younger than the Big Bean, I have nothing to contribute on the cougar front. Other than, where DOES that term come from?

P.S. My word verification word is "cessess." First one of those I've ever liked. I think I'll make that my new favorite word in the questionnaire I keep memorized in my head just in case James Lipton ever asks me.

Sunday, November 16, 2008 9:22:00 PM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

I was gonna get all technical and mathy, but FTN and Des beat me to it.

Thanks to you, I've been singing for the past 10 minutes:

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over.
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older.
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight.
I ain't got many friends left to talk to

And, since I'm a punk, and I blew off the internet all weekend, I missed this post until today, so


Monday, November 17, 2008 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

My teens call me a cougar all the time! I think it's hysterical (that they think it's a joke)...ha, ha, ha!

Happy (belated) birthday and I hope it was grand!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 7:51:00 AM  

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