i suppose even Jesus had to start somewhere

Earlier today, I was told I'm an inspiration to the older women in my water aerobics class. Did you catch that? I am an inspiration!

(tip - I find if you blink your eyes a few times to the blinding light you see emanating around me, they'll adjust and you'll be able to continue reading)

(I'll also type louder, too, so you can hear over the sound of angels singing)

I am an inspiration!

Sure, it's just for my stunning degree of flexibility that enables me to reach my hands backward until I can grab my ankles and then pull my legs toward my back, all while floating on my stomach rather than doing something amazing like brokering world peace or curing cancer, but baby steps!

"You give the older ladies hope that they, too, will one day be able to do that," my instructor cheered after class.

Come forward, true believers, and let me touch your head and cure you of whatever ails you!

I'll be honest, though. Baby steps are really all I can take when I'm back on land after pulling off that inspiring move because my flexibility really isn't all that stunning, but don't tell any of those older women in my water aerobics class who clearly need something far, far more incredible to be inspired by. I could use the ego boost!

you can have anything you want, but you better not take it from me

Nothing makes this middle age suburban housewife feel more bad ass while walking her tiny dog through my cookie-cutter community while wearing sensible shoes and conservative cotton blend slacks and toting a plastic bag full of animal waste than having Guns N' Roses' "Welcome To The Jungle" come on the iPod. I believe this is what you'd see if you looked up the phrase 'living the dream.' In the words of the prophet Rose, "Hungh."

Or something like that.



(sidebar - if you looked up 'humidity' you'd see a picture of me following my walk with hair looking suspiciously like Axl's)

and in between the moon and you, the angels get a better view

I'm leaving in a few moments and beginning a lengthy trip to Colorado to see my beloved cousin, Shawn.

Tomorrow evening, I'll be with my family as we attend Shawn's visitation. Saturday morning, we'll join again to say goodbye at his funeral.

Shawn, who recently turned 41, who felt like he was next to God when he'd take his bike out into the mountains around his adopted hometown, who just sent his children off to school to start their third and fourth grade years, killed himself Monday evening.

Shawn is the second person I know and hold close to my heart to take their own life in less than a year. My heart can't take anything more like this happening again. I wish with everything in this heart of mine that their hearts, their thoughts hadn't been so sad to bring us to a place like this.

I hope there is peace that follows what was so secretly restless.

For Shawn...