some days you just have to...
- Give in to the ugly cry.
- Accept the fact that today, no, you won't be the bigger person.
- Marvel at the length of the chin hair that seems to appear from nowhere
- Marvel again at how that mofo resisted the hot wax meant to destroy it and instead destroyed your epidermis.
- Eat the ice cream straight out of the carton. Damn right. With chocolate syrup squirted on each bite.
- Use the word 'squirted.'
- Squirted. Squirted, squirted, squirted, squirted. SQUIRTED!
- Punch in the nads the second person who says, "Oh, is somebody on their period?" because they were foolish enough not to see the example laid out by the first person who said that to you.
- No, btw. That is not this day.
- Roll the car windows down and go full rock opera when you flip through stations and find yourself in the middle of Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh mamma mia, mamma mia!
- Wonder what Adam Levine might be like in bed.
- My guess? Squirrely. Squirrely, yet gentle. Also scrappy.
- Acquire a gay boyfriend.
- Just admit the chocolate chip cookies you've been baking under the guise of afternoon snacks for your kids will end up buried in the freezer as your little secret.
- Be gleeful when Bohemian Rhapsody is followed by You're The One That I Want.
- Proclaim 'smooches gracias' your new catchphrase and run it into the ground.
- (Thanks, gay boyfriend)
- Stay up too late (extra shot!) reading your old posts and sighing over how, even when you called it in, it was better then this.
- Wonder why you're still doing this.
- Wonder why you're still doing a lot of things.
- Guzzle three Starbucks white chocolate mochas in one day. Three! One day! Oomp em grande style!
...and that, pals, is pretty much what my days have been since last I posted. I have no good reason not to have blown the dust off here other than I simply don't know what to say. The days have been either boring, routine or bad, so I haven't written about them. Hope you've been well. I do. Thanks for thinking of me.
Or should I say smooches gracias...