me love you long time...
"you're just feeding me a line," i whispered, a demure smile creeping across my face. "keep it up and you'll nearly complete me.""it's true," it teased, begging me to hold it closer. "you do look pretty. want to know why?"
"please..." i sighed.
"you consume me with such passion, and between you and me, it's kick ass that you match your nail polish to your couch."
swept away by such compliments, i had no other thought in mind but to see us reach a glorious and satisfying finish together. there upon the kitchen table. in the middle of the afternoon. with no thought of who was watching.
"come closer," i demanded as i grabbed at furled edges, finished with the begging. "after all you've given me...after making me feel such grand fullness, i have no other desire but to take you and fulfill all my cravings."
releasing the tip of my tongue from between my saucy lips, i traced it along my admirer's sweet, sugary folds. mocking it? perhaps. more likely i was showing it who was boss as i started nibbling along the curves with a tease before popping my biggest fan whole into my mouth.
"eh..." i relented. "like the line fed to me, you're a little stale."
* my utmost admiration and respect to ftn for giving me a reason to live...
Labels: ancient chinese secret, eh?
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 9:15 AM
15 Comments:
Jeez, DKG, you got my cookie!
(oh, man, I think I just left myself hanging way out there. . .)
I've got so many things I could say here.
My first thought was to just comment with the simple, yet elegant phrase, "Me love you long time." Because the Full Metal Jacket quote never gets old.
Then I thought instead I should comment on how I'm suddenly hungry for Chinese food, even though that's just what I ate for lunch yesterday.
But in the end, I decided to just link to this. And this.
i never get anything that good.
After reading your fortune always add the line "in bed" to it. Hours of family fun.
fptmr
Love the fingernail polish, btw.
I haven't had Chinese in so long. Hmmm. Too bad I just stocked up the cupboards. It would be a more convincing argument if they were empty.
i LOVE that fingernail color...what is it?? it's so purdy...:)
i want a fortune like that...my last one read, "you & your wife will be very happy together."
I keep a fortune on my fridge that I got soon after the affair happened.
It says:You will have no problems in your home.
The irony usually gets a wry smile out of me.
(to waiter) I'll have what she's having..
Stacie
desmond - if you wanted cookies, dear, all you had to do was ask. i'm not greedy!
ftn - i had at least three different titles to this post before you gave me the obvious. i'm disappointed in myself that i didn't clue in on it! your fortune reads: it take someone of great caliber and greatness to set random blogger goddess on right path (throw in finished last's fortune cookie completion line if you wish).
you da mom - i've gotten a couple good ones lately. i'd share the other i have, but it shows more of me than i've shown before!
finished - oh trust me, i'm not above busting out the "in bed" my friend. not at all!
rug - a stocked cupboard is still no reason for me not to indulge. seriously, i can only do so many sandwiches or bowls of soup a week before i'm eyeing all kinds of other enticing things! hot and sour soup and an egg roll? yes, please!
april - hi! i wish i could remember what color it was! some o.p.i. brand. went for my first manicure this weekend and got it. i have no nail salon etiquette. those girls probably talked about me after i left.
i hate the fortunes that are more like simple statements. "it's a nice day today." ok. sure. give me something juicy! heh...hope you and your wife are having a good week!
therese - oh, how i love me some irony! there is something similiar on my fridge, but my husband penned it. mostly it irritates me.
stacie - slide on in. i'll be glad to share!
I must say you do come across the coolest of fortunes.
Damn you make a fortune cookie sound inviting! Would you consider writing me a brief statement about the benefits of exercise that would make me immediately crave that? ;)
kbeoo
If only I had a response to your post... sigh....
Perhaps there is some money to be made in coming up with blog post titles for people.
I do accept Paypal. Or just overly flattering compliments. So thanks for that.
This comment has been removed by the author.
nocturnal - as you may know, this was nothing. but for the record, i may be inclined to play those random lucky numbers printed on the back of these based on the fortunes i've been pulling lately.
nanette - oh, my friend, if i could do that, i'd not be accosting chinese food like i have been of late!
savage - nothing about my sexy fingertips? the way i paint glorious pictures with my words? huh...pity...
ftn - cripes. i can't link and now you want me to walk through the maze of paypal? i'll just drop random compliments on you like panties. like currency in the days of yore.
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