...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, February 19, 2007

the girl's a super freak

so it's monday and i'm coming down from a lazy attitude this past weekend (the good? caught up with jack bauer and affirmed my support for what he's doing to protect the world from terrorists. the bad? the grocery store and laundry). because i'm allowing the lazy to ooze out a bit longer, i'm going to attempt to tackle this tag from youdamom!, who asked me to list ten weird facts about myself. these will either charm you so much you'll instantly fall in love with me, or prompt you to think "that poor, poor girl..."

-- when i talk to myself i tend to do so in my head. in a dramatic scottish accent. often to another "character" designed to bounce my thoughts off of or to talk me down. with outwardly displayed hand gestures that perhaps scare off the people around me who wonder why i'm moving my limbs. the scottish accent thing? i think i just do that because i'd like to get up on the guy who plays
desmond on "lost".

-- i have well over a 1,500 songs on my ipod. a handful of them are for my kids. however, when i'm in the mini by myself and one of their songs comes up on the shuffle, i don't fast forward it. because you can kick ass to
the naked mole rap from "kim possible" on a drive home from work some late friday night. i'm just saying. and i'm not above cranking the volume on the hamster dance.

-- like prince,
i've never seen a pretty girl look so tough. when i hear this song, i only sing along to the prince part. this may or may not be because i have a snarky little thing about sheena easton. so color me peach and black.

-- i cannot roll my tongue, whistle for crap and look like i got poked in the eye with a large stick when trying to wink. attempting all three at the same time looks like a medical condition one would be unable to recover from. it could also be a good means of fending off attackers.

-- i have a friend who, when he calls, induces a pavlovian response in me. as soon as his telephone number flashes on the caller idea, i run to the bathroom because i know the moment he says hello to me, i'll be laughing hysterically and the potential to wet myself would be far too embarrassing. sometimes our calls are 20 minutes of breathless laughter and then we say our goodbyes.

-- when stopped at a stoplight, i like to think myself a bad ass ready to challenge the poor soul waiting in their vehicle next to mine. i'll crack the passenger side window a bit and give a little glance over my huge sunglasses at the unsuspecting victim. maybe give them a little nod that says "just you wait, baby..." because nothing screams bad ass like a frazzled looking suburban mom, thrashing to "the naked mole rap," guzzling her third diet mountain dew out of a 44 ounce kum & go cup, chauffeuring the kids in a used dodge minivan that must get passed out to everyone who has ever considered having a child.

-- when i read magazines, i scour them cover to cover and pick out the one article i most want to read, then read around it, saving the favored article (usually about a person or persons i'm fond of - i.e. u2) for last. that's not so much weird as just really kind of stupid.

-- when i cook, i find myself pretending i'm the host of a food television program. i'll address some imaginery television camera or studio audience who are hanging on my every word as i'm preparing some delicacy. which usually comes out of a box and only requires water and an egg.

-- speaking of food, i've shared my quirky eating habits before. but i failed to mention then how i tackle a piece of cake. i place the slice of a layer cake on a plate and then eat all the cake portion out from the frosting portion, saving that delicious tidbit for last. cake simply gets in the way of the frosting. as i get older, i may skip the whole birthday cake thing and just stick candles into a tub of frosting.

-- i know the lyrics to every song ever released (and some not released) by the monkees. let's just say that one summer in my ill-advised youth, i had no truly productive hobbies.

there it is. obviously, from reading this, the only thing that can be deduced is i have a thing for music and people who don't actually exist anywhere but in my mind. and a potential bladder control problem no doubt impacted by the 132 ounces of diet mountain dew i sometimes take in in a given day.

ah, but you fell madly in love with me, right?! or is that, too, just all in my mind...

20 Comments:

Anonymous Nocturnal said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Monday, February 19, 2007 1:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Lady Calliah said...

Not weird... quirky :)

Imaginative, too!

Monday, February 19, 2007 4:23:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Lucky friend what gets to call you... sigh

Monday, February 19, 2007 5:35:00 AM  
Blogger Edtime Stories said...

well dear I always thought you were a little weird but......

Monday, February 19, 2007 7:20:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

OK, since you want to 'get up on' me (you said 'lost Desmond, right?), I pronounce myself madly in love with you. I mean, you're into the Monkees, far and away the best commercial rip-off band of all time. . . (I mean hey, if you gotta be a commercial rip-off band, you could do worse than ripping off the Beatles. . .)

Monday, February 19, 2007 9:20:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Who doesn't love a girl with bladder control problems?

Monday, February 19, 2007 10:04:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Did you watch the Monkees show on MTV when you were a 'weird' teen? I know *strike I may have watched every single episode once or three times /strike I may have caught an episode or two when I randomly found it airing.

Monday, February 19, 2007 2:36:00 PM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

A person that loves Mountain Dew as much as I do. you must be after my heart.

I eat a multi layered cake the same way. Use the fork to carefully get all the cake out from between the layers of icing. Eat the cake first and save the icing for last.

MMMmmmmmmmm Icing. :-D
CH

Monday, February 19, 2007 4:14:00 PM  
Blogger April said...

although i do *love* sheena easton and prince i am always ready to challenge someone at a stoplight, read magazines the same way and eat cake the same way.

are we sisters?? :)

Monday, February 19, 2007 4:53:00 PM  
Blogger Finished Last said...

Glad I am not the only one who gestures while talking to themselves in their head (wife caught me doing this the other day) Diet Mt Dew should be on a government list of addictive substances (and I don;t even really like the regular stuff.)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 8:29:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

nocturnal - "go back to england and tell them there that scotland's daughters and sons are yours no more. tell them scotland is free."

that's kind of what i do while going through my house every day, all wild haired and bloody from the freedom fighting. then i watch "the young and the restless".

lady c - heh. then i am nothing if not quirky. very quirky.

savage - ah, dear, who says the sweetest thing? ok, me. i do. but you're not shabby...

ed - i am a little weird. makes the days more interesting...

desmond - you know now, of course, that you're my daydream believer, and i'm your homecoming queen, right? i mean, you figured me out instantly with the 'desmond' thing. it's pleasant valley sundays all around here now!

ftn - that's exactly what i think. coupled with all the kick ass qualities about me, you can no doubt see why i was engaged 12 weeks into a relationship. who'd want to let all this goodness slip away?!

nanette - i may or may not have watched every episode of 'the monkees' on mtv six or 12 times. i also may or may not have them all copied on vhs taped off those constant airings. i also may or may not have thought that i would have been perfect for micky or mike. i may or may not have seen them in concert many times. ah, the summer of '86...

confused - if we're ever in the same place (and i'll know it's me by the i.v. drip of diet mountain dew and the layer cakes around me) we can pull up a seat at the same table and get the sugar rush on. just don't turn your back because i'm bound to steal your frosting.

april - did you have pink shag carpet in your room as a child. did you worship at the alter of duran duran and talk on a princess phone. did you thin i was a quirky, quiet girl and have a dad who was always pulling your shoulders back so you'd stand up straight and a mom harping at you to quit twisting your hair?

if so, it's quite possible we are sisters! if so, let's get back together and share cake and magazines! and U can sing sheena's part!

finished - i didn't even realize how much i gesticulated during my "in my head" conversations until i realized how much it seemed i was auditioning for a role in some lame high school play.

now i'll go raise a cup of diet dew your way, trying not to spill any of it's delicious goodness as i talk to myself this a.m.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 8:48:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Not only did I know all the Monkees music, but I created a big scrapbook filled with interesting [to me] facts, quotes, and pictures. I had a Monkees desktop and screen saver. A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You was one of my favorite songs for a long time. A friend's Mom, though, kind of killed my buzz when she said that as a Christian I should find their music offensive. Sheesh. Still don't.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:33:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Then I saw your, uh, face - yeah, your face, that's what I saw - now I'm a believer. Not a trace of doubt in my mind. . .

So, just take the last train to Clarksville, and I'll meet you at the station. . .

When I was a pre-teen, we used to go ice-skating at the public rink, and the PA guy played virtually 'all Monkees, all the time. . .'

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:40:00 AM  
Blogger April said...

my shag carpeting was green, i was in love with john (kissed his face hanging on my door every day) and i had a princess phone. my dad yelled at me to stop slumping and my mom was always telling me to "sit still for heaven's sake!"

in any event, let's get together, eat cake and i'll always sing sheena's part.

oh...and duran duran was here a couple of months back. i needed someone to go with me!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 11:26:00 AM  
Blogger Cat said...

well my carpet was indeed pink, I was a prince nut wore purple and accesorized everything that wasn't pink in my room with purple. I had the princess phone and a bad habit of slouching. But I didn't twist my hair I bit my nails...Oh and Duran Duran? Of course who didn't love them ;)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 2:34:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

therese - not that i had any doubt of this before, but you have firmly cemented the "cool" factor in my mind with your monkees thing. here's where i confess i perhaps stalked them and have autographs and various treasures that probably cost me more than they should.

desmond - "sometime in the morning" you can call me "the girl i knew somewhere". but don't you dare call me "valerie" because if you do, i'll make you my "stepping stone". other than those conditions, "what am I doing hangin' round"? you're probably asking yourself. honestly. there's no "shades of grey". "for pete's sake" "you just may be the one".

i'd pull out some titles from their trippy little movie, but that takes us into different directions (heh!) and i'm already no doubt pushing the boundaries of people's respect for me now after these comments...

to which i say, "look out, here comes tomorrow"

april - oh, honey. i loved me some simon, but when he was being fickle, i could be fickle right back and would choose john to make him jealous. yeah. that worked out pretty well for me. kinda like that jealousy thing when you say they were near you not that long ago!

cat - we're all sisters! slump shouldered sisters, perhaps, but sisters nonetheless! i wish i still had my princess phone, we could all call each other!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 4:26:00 PM  
Blogger you da mom! said...

omg, you rock. the cooking one...i do that! i do it with other things, too, like pretend i'm on some reality show and that people are watching my every move.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:40:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

you da mom - um, me too! i'm pretty sure i've got a captivated audience when i'm brushing my teeth and flipped over drying my hair. i just keep waiting for the big pay-out prize at the end of my reality!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 12:44:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Okay, I bow before your truly awesome grasp of the entire Monkees opus. You obviously had a serious lack of a life in your younger days. . . (and especially since the band came and went at least a decade before you were even born. . .)

But, listen - I'm NOT your stepping-stone.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 9:35:00 AM  
Blogger Dirty Filthy Princess said...

Ack, I wrote this long comment and blogger ate it. Grrr. Here's the cliff notes:

I loved this list. Very funny! I also have a voice in my head, it's my inner therapist with an English accent.

Also, you were right, of course. :-) I did get the inspiration to write "letter to my lover" at my blog after reading your excellent "river deep, mountain high." Thanks for the idea! Also, so I'm not the only person in the world that gets mock butt humped? Seriously, I thought that was a one man quirk. Glad to know it's not just me... :-)

Doh, this comment is even longer than the last one....

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 12:12:00 PM  

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