the cultural divide
- Are you jealous? When you saw this were you like all "Dang it! Why does the middle always get the good stuff?! What did I ever do to the middle to make it be so mean to me? Frickin' frackin' middle...."
- If I told you I've actually seen Weird Al in concert before, would you be even more jealous? Or would you simply feel sorry for me? What if I told you I had seen him twice? Would it make any difference if I tried to buy my way out of that admission by telling you he was the opening act?
- Haven't we reached a point in Weird Al's long career that it would be considered fine to drop the quotation marks around "Weird Al," thereby losing the connotation that "Weird Al" is really a nickname and for the most part, when he walks down the street or goes to the bank or shops for porn downtown, people rarely if ever actually just call him Al. You know he's just Weird Al all the time. Probably just signs his checks W.A. Yankovic.
- Do you think I'm embarrased to admit that I've paid money for a concert bill that included Weird Al? Honestly? I mean, knowing what you know about me?
- What's that? You need to know who Weird Al opened for when I saw him in concert twice (both times in the middle, btw!)? Does it really matter? Really? Ok. It was the Monkees.
I suppose I should say that I am not a Weird Al hater. Don't be getting all up on me in comments, saying I don't appreciate the fine art of musical parody. Trust me. I have nothing but respect for a man who can turn Lola into Yoda. But just once, I'd like my middle of the road life to really host a concert that would be worth dropping money on. Oh sure, we're getting the Who soon. But seriously, you have to admit, knowing that has to give you some indication of my cultural wasteland. You fancy people on both coasts get it all! Cripes, we probably won't even get the Van Halen tour with David Lee Roth. Which, honestly, does anyone really want that?
Of course, Weird Al shout out the Who's My Generation on his Polkas On 45, so basically, this allows me to save my money and avoid both shows. Because I'm freakin' entrenched in the middle, and there's little chance I'm ever busting out.
Unless you feel bad for me in my cultural dust bowl and wish to break me free. If so, you can look for me near Spatula City.