...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

if it wasn't him, I certainly cried out to him a lot

I may be mistaken, but I think I dated this dude in college.

Except back then, he didn't go by "the Christ." I called him Jeff. When he was being especially petulant, I broke out the Jeffrey. Apparently, I could've gotten away with calling him JC.

I always had to tilt my head to the left a lot when JC and I'd make out in the back of my kick ass '78 Pontiac Grand Prix (or "the Poncho," as he liked to call it), because he was always wearing a seed corn cap. He liked to hang with the "aggies" and fancied himself a man of the land more than a man of the people.

JC plied me with liquor when I turned 21. He wasn't lying - but then, I suppose, he NEVER lies - when he said those Long Island Ice Teas were the shit! After a couple rounds of those, it wasn't long before he leaned in and whispered something about wanting to sleep with me.

Oh, but I didn't give it up to him that easy. No sir. I made him get down on his knees and pray for it. Well, that's what I like to think he was doing, anyway. By the time I let him have that little prize, let's just say JC was coveting it.

I kept JC from bumping off a liquor store once. Good times. Given his lineage, you'd think that whole "stealing" thing wouldn't have been a thought in his cute little head. Hmmm.

JC and I talked about getting married a lot. We were so close to doing it, too. Then he got all weird and started preaching to me about having to work all the time, needing to provide for me. Hardly ever getting a day off. "I mean, honey, I really want a new pick up next year," he said. "Whatever, dude," I remember replying. "I mean, everybody needs a day off sometime, right? Geez..."

We broke up shortly after that. I caught him looking at other chicks. Not cool, JC. Not cool. Oh, I still hear from him from time to time. Usually about once a week. The dude can truly pontificate, so after awhile, I have to interrupt him and tell him I always appreciate when he has a kind word to share with me. Then I try to make him blush by reminding him about that one time, when we were parked by the lake and he asked me if I wanted to see how he fished. I just thought it was a line...

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16 Comments:

Blogger The Savage said...

Ummmmm I can tie a maraschino cherry stem in a knot with my tongue....

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:05:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Did I catch a little double E fish in there? Wait, I forgot to bait my hook. Did you say something MILK?

Look at me I'm Sandra Dee! And it appears that I've been partaking of the sacramental long islands, but really, just tired. :D

fbpchbg

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:18:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

That's one of the most non-first-century Jewish renditions of Jesus I've ever seen. Well, other than some of the pictures that try to make him look like Fabio, as if he had his own hairdresser.

You have a serious thing for dudes with beards and goatees, don't you. Why was it standard practice for every guy in the '70s and early '80s to have beards and mass quantities of body hair? I just don't think I could compete with that look. And I'm not even all that metrosexual.

Or at least I try to tell myself that.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 8:39:00 AM  
Blogger Finished Last said...

So did your JC wear the white robe with the stylish sash along with his seed corn cap?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Hey, did FTN nail it? You've got a thing for guys with beards? 'Cuz hey, I've got a beard! And chest hair!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 3:17:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

Long Island Ice Tea huh? I never could drink those...never could. But I have to know..what on earth is a seedcorn cap? I don't believe I've ever heard of such a thing. Is this like when people call pop, soda, or bags, sacks, and I'm just not getting the connection?
Stacie

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 3:17:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Savage - I can do nothing with my tongue. My tongue basically is there to taunt me about all the things I can't do with it!

Nan - I was so tired when I wrote this, sweets. But as for bait? Hmmm...sure. Here little fishy...heh...so tired...

FTN - This Jesus actually looks like the pictures in an old Sears catalog or on McCall's pattern packages. And like my ex. D.R.E.A.M.Y. And who knew the Christ like to bust out the hair paste and styling product, eh?

You know I have a thing for the dudes with the scruff. Why you think I am so mad for you, goatee boy?

FL - My JC wore pearl button shirts and a jean jacket. All. The. Time. Except when he'd stay at my place. Then it was shirts and skins, baby! Then I'd steal his cowboy hat and run around the place with it on.

Desmond - Yippee! Bearded Chest Hair Man is back!!

I do have a fondness for the chest hair, yes. I am a little agog at a fine chest hair specimen. Seriously. I border on comatose when I get a glimpse at a good one.

So, yes, to answer your question, even not shaving for three days gives me that happy little thought balloon pause.

Stacie - Oh, a seed corn cap doesn't fall into that "pop/soda," "bag/sack" thing (btw - to me, you can put the pop in a bag). A seed corn cap is a trucker hat or baseball cap with a decal or patch attached advertising a field corn company.

Umm..what it comes down to is I dig hairy guys who enjoy the land. Or hairy guys who never get their hands dirty. I'm not picky!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 3:43:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I DO so love you! You can put my pop in a bag too! so...at the grocery, do you put your pop in a buggy or a cart? (I'm a cart gal myself)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 7:56:00 PM  
Blogger Wethyb said...

That's funny cuz I went to a Catholic school from 1-12 and never saw any JC's looking like that! However, maybe that's where I learned to like those Long Islands too. Hmmmm.....

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 10:14:00 PM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

MMMMmmm Long Island iced tea. Now there's a drink I haven't had in a very long time. Next time me and Summer go out I'm so having one. :D

I can tie a cherry stem into a double knot with my tongue. I'm just skilled like that. And too bad I just shaved today dam it. I had a 2 week shadow thing going on. But the beard is coming back this month.

Whats a pop? We drink soda in our household. Exceptfor youngest who calls everything Coke. When the only thing he drinks is Sprite.
CH

Thursday, August 09, 2007 1:45:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Stacie - Before my pop is put into a bag, I push it around the grocery store in a cart. A buggy is really only pulled out when I step outside on a muggy night into a swarm of mosquitos and declare the "this night is a little buggy."

Wethyb - That JC right there looks like a guest star on "The Dukes of Hazzard." Well, I assume, since I have never, ever watched an episode of the Dukes, nor do I hope to ever!

CH - I've not had a drink such as that in a long time. Cleary it makes me do silly things. Thus, I graduated to a much tamer drink with the everclear!

Let it be known that in all the time I drank everclear, I never once got sick! I am made of steel! Military grade steel!

Which, however, is probably being eaten through thanks to all the diet Mt. Dew I can consume on a given day given the opportunity.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 11:25:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

I bet he thought his DAD was better than your dad too, huh?

Saturday, August 11, 2007 7:09:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

kimmyk - to tell you the truth, when JC and I were together, he had just finished up helping his dad with a big remodeling project on their house. Kept telling me about all the rooms, what a big house it was. That kinda thing.

Monday, August 13, 2007 12:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Nocturnal said...

I'm sure the JC dude beLIEves he'll be forgiven.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007 8:39:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nocturnal - He has, indeed, asked me to forgive him a time or five over the years. I like to humor him.

Thursday, August 16, 2007 1:42:00 AM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

Do you want to get married? Oh lord, I can't believe I never read this one before, so now I'm going to be combing through your entire archive WHICH SOUNDS way too sexual, but I'm leaving it in dammit.

Monday, March 30, 2009 5:00:00 PM  

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