...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

'you got the teeth of the hydra upon you'

Over the past two weeks, my boys have been losing teeth like mini-flyweights pitted against vicious warriors of dental destruction hellbent on leaving their smiles riddled with black holes. Nearly every other day, one of them comes home from school, grinning a scarecrow grin, and clutching a tiny plastic treasure chest containing a random molar or insular incisor they've plucked from their gums earlier in the day.

Last Sunday, my oldest came up to me and asked that I hold out my hand. One might think living in a house dominated by males, his request would be a yellow light warning cautioning me about what fate awaits, but I sometimes forget. It was in that realm of forgetfulness that I found a bloodied molar deposited in my palm, and a gap-toothed boy smiling in front of me. "Oh, my God! Was this tooth even loose? You haven't even said anything about having yet another loose tooth! Did you just pull this tooth out for pleasure?!" I cried. My dismay over this perceived dental mutilation was met with a nonchalant, "Yeah, it was loose. It was buggin' me, so I just pulled on it and there it is." He figured he'd get rid of the right upper molar to match the loss of the left one a few days earlier.

I still don't buy it. There's a part of me that thinks the kid simply has no fear and is going totally horror movie on me when I'm not watching. I also think he's trying to pull his younger brother into the act by goading him to go toe to toe - make that tooth for tooth - in the Tooth Fairy racket they apparently have brewing. This racket would be pretty ingenious if the Tooth Fairy wasn't such a slacker lately. It's high time for a performance review around here. You miss rewarding a kid for their missing baby tooth once, I'm going to look over the top of my glasses and maybe shake my head at you a little bit. Miss them a second day and I'm putting a write-up in your personnel file. Standards, Tooth Fairy. We have them for a reason.

Back to point, which is my oldest kid is an apparent dental desperado. Consider the following evidence that was presented here last Friday evening, then feel free to weigh in:

My youngest son is in the process of losing his top two teeth. At the bus stop last Wednesday, he stuck a finger in his mouth, flicked at the flapping shutters these two wiggly teeth had become, and announced he'd return home at least one tooth lighter. True to his word, I met him at his stop seven hours later and he produced his tiny plastic treasure chest laden with dental bounty. The other loose tooth remained intact, yet as loose as a two-bit whore (no offense to any actual two-bit whores out there), dangling precariously like a mountain climber slipping on the ragged ridge of his gum line. That night, and for the next two, my little jack o' lantern would work at dislodging it from the grip his mouth was keeping on it, but to no avail.

By Friday night, the tooth appeared to be on its last legs, and the two of us stood in front of the bathroom mirror and tried to finish the job, by now rather bloody, with as little drama as possible. Repeated offers to yank the tooth were met with sideways glances that made me feel nefarious. The debate and the angst had raged for quite some time when he nixed as "too owie" Tool Man's suggestion of a string, a doorknob, and one swift swipe.

That's when my oldest, Dr. Evil, D.D.S., jumped in to help.

"Lemme talk to the boy," he sneered. Getting down on his knees to be eye-to-eye with his younger brother, the loose tooth veteran of the house grabbed the other's shoulders and said, "Kid, you just gotta live through the pain. Just buck up and bite it back! That's just part of life, man."

Apparently, a questionable past with the Tooth Fairy has transformed my once docile boy into Mickey Goldmill from Rocky, a whiskey-riddled poet, or a jaded cynic to life's dark shadows. At 11 years old. I don't know what these two kids of mine are doing when they're playing in the basement, out from my watchful yet easily distracted eye, but for the briefest of moments, I wondered if perhaps they weren't re-enacting one of the dental torture scene from Marathon Man, but minus the Nazis.

(Oh, and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Sheesh, Fadkog! Don't you have any topic relevant examples that aren't more than 30 years old, what with your 'Rocky' this and your 'Marathon Man' that." The answer is no. You should see my DVR. It's littered with movies and programs I recorded as far back as nine months ago, for heaven's sake. It's not like I'm sitting around watching TV and keeping current on all your new-fangled talk box programs!)

So what do you think? Does this 'buck up and deal' attititude explain the nonchalant way in which my oldest is always handing over bloodied bits of his once intact grill to me? Or! OR! Do you think it could be rooted in the habit my Tool Man has of depositing the boys' teeth in empty prescription bottles tucked in his sock drawer, making me feel like I'm sleeping with a serial killer each time a child loses a tooth?

(I know. It's gross. I've made note of it and stuck that tidbit in the Tooth Fairy's personnel file, too).

Whatever the case may be, the youngest still has his lone top tooth flapping in the breeze. Personally, I think it's cowering in fear, concerned my oldest will come around and kick it in. We'll just have to see how long it can hold on.

Labels:

68 Comments:

Blogger Help Wanted said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008 10:59:00 PM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

Have you ever seen "A Long Kiss Goodnight"? There is a line from there: "Life is pain!" that your sons talking reminded me of.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008 11:51:00 PM  
OpenID browerfamilyof5 said...

At 11 years old, he hasn't seen much of life- I think it's adorable that he thinks he has!
And the prescription bottle thing? Yeah, I used to save 'em too. I had a little ceramic box with a teddy bear dressed up as the Tooth Fairy on top and I would keep them in there. Then one day the box fell off their dresser and the teeth scattered all over the floor. I was picking them up for a week... I felt like one of the Sopranos.
It was kinda gross.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 12:03:00 AM  
Blogger Manager Mom said...

Hmmm. We have been going through a similar accelerated period of tooth loss with the 7 year The Girl, although no molars yet, which I think to your point would be especially disgusting.

Seeing the blood pouring from the holes where three of The Girl's four former front teeth used to be have traumatized The Boy but good, so that he has taken to begging me to let him keep all of his teeth.

What I really want to know - does the 11 year old still really believe in the Tooth Fairy? Or is he pretending to still believe to get the cash>

Thursday, September 04, 2008 4:35:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I have no dental advice....
I did all and ex of mine a two bit whore once.
Bitch hit me upside the head with a sack of quarters....

Thursday, September 04, 2008 5:00:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Call... I did Call and ex of mine....
Damn... I need a new keyboard

Thursday, September 04, 2008 5:01:00 AM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

Bet Tool Man can make a nice necklace for you with all those old teeth. Very hot. To someone, I'm sure.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 6:19:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

Our school sends home teeth in a film canister with a red-orange "hazardous" blood warning label. I thought that was carrying the whole thing a bit too far.

Hope you don't have to see that tooth hanging there too long.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 6:34:00 AM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

maybe that tooth is dirty sweet and it's his girl?
sorry, that's the best I got at 6:40AM!

Thursday, September 04, 2008 6:40:00 AM  
Blogger jenboglass said...

"Dental Desperado" would make a great band name.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 7:18:00 AM  
Blogger Madame Queen said...

OMG, honestly, I had to skim this post. Loose teeth totally squick me out and even though Bubba is counting the days until he loses his first teeth (and none are even loose yet!), I am dreading it with every fiber of my being.

Can you come to my house and help with the tooth pulling when the time comes? Cause I'm gonna be huddled in corner somewhere with my fingers in my ears.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 7:18:00 AM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

Oh you are knee deep in tooth fairy shennanigans. I love the 11 year old talking him through the pain.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 7:24:00 AM  
Blogger Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Holy crap, I can't stop giggling at your nazi-torture kid.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 7:26:00 AM  
Blogger Chuck said...

Wow, my kids were total opposite when it came to pulling their teeth. They'd whine and cry like I was, well...pulling teeth.

Funny, I too use an old prescription bottle to keep the teeth in. Only I keep mine on the top shelf in the cabinet with the plates and bowls. Up there next to my BB pistol and permanent markers.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:04:00 AM  
Blogger Ms Picket To You said...

we are in the other boat: whining and crying because there haven't been any loose ones in about six months.

pretty sure the middle girl will soon run into a wall just to get something going...

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:35:00 AM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

As a two-bit whore, I'm flattered to be compared to your son.

Reading this post made me feel faint - dental phobia is right after clowns on my list.

And your cultural references bring me comfort. I'm not alone in this cave of 80's with a pinch of 90's and a heavy dash of 70's.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:40:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy said...

I was the last kid in my class to lose her first tooth. I think it was sometime in the second grade. Those suckers were cemented in.

For you, maybe the tooth fairy's paying too much. Reduce the bounty and Dr Evil DDS might not be so inclined to rip the pearly whites out. :)

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:45:00 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

Advice I just recently received myself (although I haven't tried it out yet) for the elusive loose teeth. AND better than a doorknob and a string-a slow poke sucker. The urge to bite them is too irresistable. One good bite and the tooth stays behind.

My grandmother used to say, "Just let me wiggle it", and the second she got ahold of it,she'd yank it out. You'd think I'd have learned after the first one, not #4.

Slow Pokes seem much kinder.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:57:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

"dangling precariously like a mountain climber slipping on the ragged ridge of his gum line"

Pure genius, DKG. . .

Our tooth fairy has been pretty lax lately, too. . . When 7M came to his mom recently, complaining that he'd dutifully placed his tooth under his pillow every night for A WEEK, without any pecuniary exchange, it was apparent that it was time for a little 'intervention'. . .

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:59:00 AM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

My little ones have yet to lose any teeth.

My 6 year-old is very dismayed by this fact, and is forever insisting that he has a loose tooth, but when i wiggle, I can't feel anything moving but his head.

Poor thing, it's just driving him crazy..

This is too funny - Where do kids learn to talk like that?

Thursday, September 04, 2008 9:05:00 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

"I wondered if perhaps they weren't re-enacting one of the dental torture scene from Marathon Man, but minus the Nazis." hahaha!

i didn't know if parents were supposed to keep teeth. so i kept Emily's first one and tossed the second. but even just having that one creeps me the eff out.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 9:49:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

I see no reason you should be concerned by the fact that you're apparently married to The Bone Collector. Everyone needs a hobby.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 9:50:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

Teeth are so small, it'll take you ages to collect enough to make anything useful - you might need to have another 10 children.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

My dad saves Coke bottle caps for my daughter. Usually he puts them just in a grocery bag but a couple weeks ago, he gave them to me in a mangled looking sandwich baggie. As I entered all the codes I threw the caps away one by one. I got down to the last one and as I looked inside at the code, I noticed an extra surprise. There was a baby tooth in there, stuck in the "rings" of the cap. I was freaked out for a minute like "how the F did that get in there?" Turns out it was my nephews. My dad found the bag laying around and just reused it, not seeing the tooth.
He's got all his teeth in a jar in the basement. My dad's, not my nephew's.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger MereCat said...

I hated pulling teeth. BUT. Once I found out about the tooth fairy's other gig as somebody's parents, I started keeping the old teeth. I guess the cool gross teeth were way more valuable than a quarter.

Hey, you've got an award on my blog!

Thursday, September 04, 2008 12:34:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea with the Flipflops said...

I have not hit the molar stage ... but now I know not to hold my hand out. Thanks for the tip!

Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. Next week will be better for my mental state or what is left of it.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger just a girl... said...

I hated this part of raising my son, I can't handle the sight of blood. I hope this part goes quickly for you. YUCKO

Thursday, September 04, 2008 1:52:00 PM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

Chas, my mother (from the "old country")would use a doorknob and string! No wonder I cowher behind doors alot....

Thursday, September 04, 2008 2:08:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

We told my almost 11 year old that while we keep "emailing" the tooth fairy about the tooth she lost last spring, the tooth fairy has told us to back off - she has a 10 year limit!

It worked - until she asked her dad about it. Interestingly, his toothfairy pays in $10's.

I guess that is what we get for moving to the sticks.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 4:51:00 PM  
Blogger Bunny said...

Of the 7 baby teeth my darling has lost, I have recovered exactly one. ONE! We have no idea what he does with them. The dentist suspects that he swallows them.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 5:38:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Your going to go broke at that rate!
T- wants to lose his teeth because he thinks it will help him get old faster. He's always trying to come up with ways to loosen them, so we've had to lose the "don't do that, it'll knock your teeth out" comment.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 6:11:00 PM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

Rats! I'm late to the party and somebody else used beat me to the punch. I was gonna say "You're dirty sweet and you're my girl." Undaunted, I Google searched for lyrics including "teeth of the hydra" because I had a brain fart and couldn't remember the title to "Bang a Gong."

I came across a gem of a song by a band called Omen titled "Teeth of the Hydra." It included Pulitzer-worthy lines including:

Fear the children slain of the hydra
For they will seek to kill upon command
None can escape the teeth of the hydra
From the teeth of the hydra
Come the children of the Damned

I have a feeling my 16-year-old stepson would find that deep. And I have a nagging, horrible fear that 16-year-old me would have, too.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 6:55:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

maybe he's doin it all for the money?

i remember my kids once they got their first dollar from the tooth fairy they wiggled and pulled teeth that I swear weren't ready to come out.

Kids are smart...

Thursday, September 04, 2008 7:04:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

you have to go back and read the added for clarification on name that part - I was in the middle of making dinner and didnt have time to finish the post - you will laugh!

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:30:00 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

That's so sweet that he tried to talk his brother through it! Noah would just give Tessa a swift kick to the mouth to solve the problem.

The good news is your oldest only has so many teeth he can loose. If he starts pulling his adult teeth you might need to look into therapy.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:31:00 PM  
Anonymous bejewell said...

When I lost my last tooth, I left a note with it for the Tooth Fairy that said something like "Look, Tooth Fairy. Since this is my last tooth, I think I should get more than the paltry 25 cents you usually leave me. Inflation has risen considerably since I lost my first tooth, and I've got shit I'd like to do but I really can't do it on your measly 25 cents. So cough up some more."

(I'm pretty sure I didn't use those exact words.)

Next morning I woke with great anticipation, reached under my pillow and pulled out... a dime. WIth a note back from the Tooth Fairy that said, "Bejewell, I am so glad you understand about inflation. That means you'll understand that the rising costs of fairy dust, wing repair and wand maintenance leave me unable to leave you with anything more than this dime. Love, the Tooth Fairy."

I cried for like 2 days. My mom laughed all the way to the bank.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 9:19:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

DAMN MY STUPID FEEDS!!
Look how late I am!

Umm... blood gives the spinnies in my head. I don't like blood. At all. So all I have to contribute is this:

::shiver::

Thursday, September 04, 2008 10:09:00 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

You should make an awesome necklace and when people ask you where you got the teeth just smirk and say "Let's just say that you are lucky you aren't a midget who is also a wrestler."

Friday, September 05, 2008 1:57:00 AM  
Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

my twins are loosing teeth fast & furious too and they are only 5!
God I hate looking at loose teeth.

Friday, September 05, 2008 2:38:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

My Ten-Year Old loses them when we're in public and then hands me the bloddy mess.

Of course, I tuck in somewhere, end up losing it and then the whining and crying starts--Where's my tooth??!!

Needless to say, a note that there was a tooth is enough for the fairy in these parts.

Friday, September 05, 2008 7:46:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

As I read this, frightening images of Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors popped into my mind. Watch out for your son. If you see him heading into his brother's room with a power drill I'd start to get concerned!

Friday, September 05, 2008 9:57:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

I laugh because it reminds me of my Ben. Who will frequently ask my mother to pull his loose teeth. It's a good thing he doesn't ask HIS mother to pull them, lest I barf all over him. Some nurse *I* am.

Friday, September 05, 2008 11:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Pam said...

What's the ToolMan going to do when the kids run out of teeth? Huh? Have you thought about that??

Friday, September 05, 2008 1:18:00 PM  
Blogger Anndi said...

Your eldest does realize that he isn't a shark and the baby teeth are his only shot at Tooth Fairy cash... right?

Friday, September 05, 2008 6:41:00 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

I so relate to this experience. Our youngest son just lost a tooth, and our 13-year-old firstborn boy told him the Tooth Fairy wouldn't come if he behaved like a wimp.

Ah, childhood...

Friday, September 05, 2008 8:26:00 PM  
Blogger CT Mom said...

My girls let their teeth dangle by the grossest thread until they fall out. They complain, "it feels weird/I can't chew/it hurts" etc., but when I say, "Just let me pull it" they run screaming "don't touch it don't touch it don't touch it!!!"

Ok, suffer then ...

I'm running out of cash anyway.

Saturday, September 06, 2008 8:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Shamelessly Sassy said...

When I was young, I always had to help pull my brothers teeth. It made my mom sick, and he couldn't do it himself. haha.

Saturday, September 06, 2008 2:22:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

Hubs and girly are like that. Fearless and will do whatever they can to get that tooth out. Usually at my "ewwwwws" and "that's gross" they get their kicks. We've done the string and doorknob thingy. Yeah, didn't work! lol

Saturday, September 06, 2008 6:48:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

One time, the tooth fairy forgot to come to our house for 3 nights in a row. Skeptical, my son decided to set a trap to prove that *I* was the tooth fairy. He left a note on his bedroom door for the TF, and then barricaded it from the inside with stacks of boxes (we had just moved in) I, er...I mean the Tooth Fairy, had to work for well over an hour inching those damn boxes back silently so as not to wake my son, make the money for tooth switch AND wedge those boxes back in place from the OUTSIDE of the door. Not an easy feat I assure you! I mean...I imagine it wasn't. My son, however, awoke the next morning CONVINCED of the Tooth Fairy's authenticity. *Whew*
That was a night I, er...I mean, The Tooth Fairy, does not wish to ever repeat. In fact, she, (I assume the Tooth Fairy is a she?) never was late to our house again.

I think she was afraid of the next trap would be more elaborate.

Stacie

Saturday, September 06, 2008 10:22:00 PM  
Blogger Chag said...

My daughter just turned six and has yet to lose a tooth. I'm beginning to think I pissed off the Tooth Fairy somewhere down the line.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 8:09:00 AM  
Blogger Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle online: http://tinyurl.com/6hwlhy

Sunday, September 07, 2008 8:47:00 AM  
Blogger katie said...

my lil' Joe's bottom tooth is just a'wigglin' away, wanting to fall out. we have even more in common than we originally thought, my dear and fave Diff Gal. 90210, Neil, and now loose teef!!

love ya, girl. have a super sunday. :)

Sunday, September 07, 2008 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Alice said...

This is more in response to your last post, but I highly recommend the hysterectomy so you too can do away with all the stupid period business. : )

As for teeth - BoyChild's lost every tooth while eating food. With one down the gullet. Babycakes even went through the poo looking for that one. What a dope.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 11:25:00 AM  
Anonymous New Age Bitch said...

He's going to make a hell of a CEO one day, your older kid.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger Rhea said...

I have stressful dreams sometimes where my teeth all crumble and fall out. It's terrifying.

Kids and their loose teeth freak me out too. I can't stand to see them wiggling.

I have problems, I know. I also have two boys, so I understand what you're going through. I really do.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 1:53:00 PM  
Blogger Tootsie Farklepants said...

We've wanted to put braces on our 11 year old son for a year now but can't because molars keep falling out of his head.

My kids are bankrupting the tooth fairy.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 3:51:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

I think your oldest is displaying a healthy attitude! (Does that say something about me?)

When the loose tooth gets to that stage of dangling by a thread (where it sounds like you son is at) I remember always being afraid that I would go to bed, the tooth would come loose as I sleep, and I would swallow it! And then you get no quarter AND have a tooth in your stomach! Perhaps you oldest is just protecting his brother from this fate.

What? That's a legitimate fear.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 4:12:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Apparently I cannot type the word "your" to save my life.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 4:13:00 PM  
Blogger Summer Rose said...

Great post! Yep know the feeling one down one to go, so far he's already lost his four front teeth before he left our loving care and into another care. On tuesday J had four teeth pulled out day after tomorrow he will have braces put on.
S.R.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 5:51:00 PM  
Blogger Shonda Little said...

I really love your oldest son. I mean, I can't believe he didn't spawn from my own uterus.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 5:59:00 PM  
Blogger San Diego Momma said...

OK, I'm a two-bit whore and even though you said not to, I'm still offended by this post.

If you want to call to say you're sorry, I'll be at the Geico Caveman's house.

You've got the number.

--Trixie

Sunday, September 07, 2008 7:01:00 PM  
Blogger Anndi said...

Looks like my ten year-old will be visited by the toothfairy tonight... she's been going at that tooth for 3 three days now! But no yanking, she's a twister.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 7:55:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

Ewww, can't handle teeth falling out, being pulled out or being knocked out! I nearly passed out the other night when our friend's kid came home with a face full of blood have had a tooth knocked out in a baseball game. Hell, I can barely go to the dentist to have a tooth pulled - it's baaaaadddd.

Sunday, September 07, 2008 9:17:00 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

Oh I hated losing teeth as a kid, the taste of blood in my mouth...ick.

And I have to watch 8 kids go through tooth losing and bloody gums...

I think I just threw up in my mouth. :)

Cute story!
The Maid

Sunday, September 07, 2008 11:21:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

SUCCESS! Finally! Saturday night, while eating a slice of pizza, the youngest's remaining front tooth twisted sideways and practically upside down, skeeving me the hell out and prompting Tool Man to reach over and pluck the damn thing from the kid's mouth. The Tooth Fairy showed up as required!

RS - Only bits and pieces of it, but I don't doubt that my kid could be as bad ass as Samuel L.!

Sammanthia - Your Sopranos deal had me laughing heartily! You're a bad ass!

Manager Mom - While I think there's a hint of believe still behind his innocent eyes, I think the bulk of things lies in his love of money!

Savage - You did?! She did?!

Savage - You should have grabbed that sack of quarters and put it toward the purchase price!

Always home - All that matters is if you thought so!

Cocotte - My boys would LOVE that carrying case!

1blueshi1 - Your best is welcome anytime of day!

jenboglass - And their hit single would be "I'm A Fool For Your Flossing"

Madame Queen - I'm ill-equipped for the yanking. I'll see if Tool Man can stop by while en route to his jobs!

Carolyn - I think I might see if I can have the oldest give all the important talks to his younger brother!

Jenny - The kid is jaded and cynical. Just the way I like 'em!

Chuck - That cabinet sounds like a treasure of delights!

Ms Picket - I hope we're in a slow down period. I'm damn near broke!

Motherbumper - I'm totally at home in that cave with you, you two bit...heh... :)

Mandy - When I was a kid, we got a quarter for each tooth. We (um, the Tooth Fairy) only gives the kids a buck each. My oldest has actually written a letter to the Tooth Fairy along the lines of those he's written to Santa, making his 'bounty-per-tooth' requests!

Chas - My Dad was a notorious 'just let me wiggle it' tooth puller, too! I never learned!

Des - It sounds like you need to put your Tooth Fair on probation!

Eternal Sunshine - I've had the loose/not loose teeth game going on for a long time, here, too. I had to be able to bend one nearly backward before I believed my youngest!

Ali - Honestly, I have no idea what we're to do with them at this point. Hold onto them until the kids are grown and then present them to them?! I'm skeeved out by them!

twobusy - If this means I get to wake up looking like Angelina Jolie one of these days, then fine by me!

Brian - I could settle for a dainty pair of earrings, albeit it gross ones!

Heather - Your dad has all his old teeth?! In a jar!? In his basement?!

Merecat - Heh...the tooth fairy's other gig. I like to think she has fun hanging out with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny on their off nights!

Andrea - You'd think after this many years, I'd know better! Here's to good weeks ahead!

just a girl - The kid was leaving little blood trails everywhere. It was getting to be a little like being on a crime drama!

Christina lee - You were very brave! No way I could have endured that, even for the loosest of tooth!

Lori - I wish we'd have thought of that limits thing! We kept telling him that he lost his tooth so late in the day that the Tooth Fairy must have been working on the other side of the world and unable to pick up her messages yet. Two days of that was really pushing the limits!

Bunny - I assumed my youngest would swallow this most recent one, too, and it creeped me out!

zip n tizzy - I hope we're on a downswing for awhile now, because I definitely will be going broke if not!

That Girl From Shallotte - My super hero/secret agent/President of the United States would undoubtedly love that song!

kimmy - Kids are WAY too smart. I swear I don't think the oldest really had any loose teeth. He just wanted to buy some new Lego stuff, so he went to work on that molar and yanked it!

Lori - Your boy has masterful art skills! Ha!

Monday, September 08, 2008 12:21:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Wendy - Ha! I can't say for sure that therapy in general will be ruled out! Thanks for following my Twitter command and checking things out!

bejewell - That freakin' Tooth Fairy sees through the hype! Glad you only got a quarter for your teeth, too. I was starting to think I had the cheapest Tooth Fairy ever!

Bee - I'll admit I was beginning to miss you! I'll do my best to refrain from talking about blood for awhile, too!

BP Dad - Your morbid sense of awesomeness is so totally awesome. I'd consider giving you said necklace and pledging my unwaivering devotion!

Tuesday girl - I'm cool with them until they're constantly showing me how loose they are by bending them backwards and forwards. After that, I'm totally grossed out by them!

Meg - A note is a clean, efficient method. I could live with that. Also, your new avatar looks like a cool, vintage LP sleeve, and I dig it!

Meg - Gah! Thanks to Tool Man, we have way too many power drills around this place! My to do list now includes hiding them all!

Aunt Becky - I can deal with actual barf better than super loose teeth, and I pretty much don't deal with barf, so that pretty much tells you I've an iron will!

Pam - You're scaring me, and also giving me further incentive to hide all power tools around here!

Anndi - Ha! I don't think that realization has kicked in yet, but I'm going to delight in informing him!

Carmi - Count on the older kids to always set the younger ones right! Thanks for coming over and reading!

CT Mom - This last tooth was dangling by next to nothing for an entire week. It was a sweet relief...to send Tool Man into the bathroom to yank it on Saturday!

Shamelessly Sassy - I could barely pull my own out! No way I could have helped my sister's along, too!

Choppzs - Tool Man tried tying it up with dental floss and giving it a tug last week, but he couldn't get the floss to stay around the tiny tooth. To say I was relieved would be an understatement!

Stacie - Your son is ingenious!! I just pray that our, ahem, Tooth Fairy, never missed so much that one of my boys figures out a way of doing that. I'd (I mean the Tooth Fairy) would just have to mail the buck to them if such a thing were to happen!

Chag - Not a one?! Wow! The Tooth Fairy must be letting you pad your dental nest egg!

Jenny - Very, very cool! I'm humbled and totally thrilled! Thanks!

Katie - Maybe his tooth will fall out Monday while you're watching 90210, which would kick further ass if, for some dramatic scene, they were playing some Neil Diamond in the background!

Alice - GAH!! (kind of to both your comments!). If my kid had swallowed his, I'd just accept his actions as true and leave him a buck. No tiny tooth is worth digging through poop! No! No! No!

New Age Bitch - He's counting on it! Thanks for coming by!

Rhea - That dream sounds awful! I have been dreaming of vampires and their teeth lately. So far, just as awful! Thanks for coming over and reading!

Tootsie - Oh, speaking of bankrupt, I hope to heaven our boys won't need braces!

Weirdgirl - I so dreaded the idea of swallowing a tooth in my sleep! I actually was worrying about that with my youngest, too! I am so glad it's finally out of his head now!

Weirdgirl - Your forgiven. Heh :)

Summer Rose - There's that word again! I hope he does OK adjusting to having braces!

Shonda - If you'd like to borrow him and just pretend he did for a few weeks, I can have him packed and ready by afternoon!

San Diego Momma - Ring, ring, baby!

Anndi - GAH! The twisting. I just got the shivers!

Mandy lou - I couldn't deal with the tooth loss that was the result of an accident. I've had drama about teeth ever since I had a dentist climb up atop an exam chair, straddle me, and then nearly take my lower jaw off trying to bust a wisdom tooth. Except he didn't nearly take my bottom jaw off. It just really felt like it!

Becky - Eight kids and lost teeth?! I thought I (ahem, the Tooth Fairy) was going broke here with just two!

Monday, September 08, 2008 12:45:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Wait a minute! You mean some other lunatic, uh, blogger has eight kids?

Becky, we gotta talk! . . .

Monday, September 08, 2008 9:08:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - I'd take at least one more kid, but I imagine that both of you who have eight are pretty attached to the ones you have, so I'll have to see what I can do minus taking any of yours.

Thursday, September 11, 2008 8:31:00 PM  

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