...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

that whole mama bear instinct? yeah. totally true.

I distinctly remember the first time I was bullied as a child. I was seven and in first grade. School had dismissed for the day, and I had three blocks to walk from the elementary building to my house. I was at the crosswalk, the dividing line between "school rules" and "let freedom ring," trailing behind a small pack of third and fourth grade boys who were laughing about whatever it was boys laughed about after school, when one of them turned his attention toward me. The next thing I heard was the boy's Evil Knievel lunch box slicing the air just before it crashed into the right side of my face. Still today I have a small dent on my forehead, just at the hairline, where the corner of the lunchbox broke the skin.

I remember crying, in pain and shock, while the boys laughed uproariously at the antics of their leader. I was forced to listen to them the entire, and suddenly incredibly long, walk home because the boy who had hit me? He was my neighbor, and while we'd never shared so much as two words, we shared the space of one yard separating our houses. When I reached mine, I didn't tell my mother what had happened, too afraid of the paybacks that might be doled out the next day if the neighbor boy got in trouble with his own mother. Of course, staying quiet meant the bullying continued. I never provoked whatever was paid to me, and I never fought back. Instead, I wondered what I'd done to attract such attention. I also seethed and worried..

Flash forward several years, and I'm now the mother of a seven year old boy who is in first grade. Two weeks ago, I learned he's been the victim of bullying for nearly two months, and that same seething and worrying I did when I was a child is back, only it seems massive and even more intense because now it's my child.

You don't know my youngest son, but I imagine he's just like any of your children. If that's the case, you already know how awesome, lovable, caring, and sweet he is. He is charming. The comedic foil, and full of love. He wants to be your friend, and if making funny faces with you, reading you stories, telling you jokes, and pondering the world's mysteries while riding in the backseat of the car is how that gets you, believe me, you've got a great friend. I imagine the parents of the boy who has been bullying my son for the past couple of months think he's everything I think my son is, too, but I'll admit that good thoughts about the child weren't the first to fill my mind when my son finally, through body-quaking tears, told me what this child had been doing to him.

That Monday, all I could think of was how I wanted to climb aboard the school bus, get in the face of this other boy and unleash upon him. To bully the bully. For two months, my son hid the fact he was being repeatedly hit by this older child. Hid it from his bus driver, his teacher, and his parents. He's stressed himself out and wondered what it was he's been doing wrong, and, though we hadn't clearly realized until now, his personality has changed, so much so that it provoked his teacher to call me one afternoon to ask if there's been changes going on at home. Last month, he twice came home from school immediately after arrival, claiming to be sick. I brought him home and then gently lectured him on how he couldn't possibly be sick when he'd been healthy an hour prior. The first time it happened, I took it with a grain of salt. The second time in two weeks, I told him this silliness had to stop. I again spoke with his teacher, and learned he'd sometimes come up to her desk and start to cry, but even then, he'd not share with anyone what was going on, and honestly, neither one of us even once considered bullying as a cause.

Then came the Monday two weeks ago when he finally shared with me what had been happening, and all the times I had to encourage him to catch up with me as we walked to the bus, all the mornings my once chatty son refused to engage me in conversation, made sense. Minutes before we had to walk out the door, I found my son hiding in the bathroom, crying. Without question, I felt horrible that I'd not even considered this as an issue. I've gone through six years of school with my oldest son and we've never had to address bullying. It just wasn't a blip on our radar in this situation.
By the time I got his tears stopped, mine started. I was so livid and so sad, I had to ask my husband to call the bus company and let them know what was happening and find out how it was going to be dealt with. I called my son's teacher, and she immediately made the other boy's teacher aware. Changes have taken place, but there's been a few bumps in the road as we've tried to fix this problem. Following a very brief reprieve, the boy again targeted my son, who this time spoke up immediately, and I've since learned that the building principal and guidance counselor have each spoken to the other child.

Every day, I assure him nothing will happen to him, but I know I can't guarantee it, and that sucks. This remains difficult on him. Every morning for the last two weeks, he's been crying. Every night before bed, he curls up next to me, then sleeps fitfully through the night once he's in bed. In the morning, he again crawls up into my lap and wraps his arms around my neck again, and I whisper in his ear that it'll be OK.

And I know it will be, but right now? Right now, I'm still seething and I'm still worried.

Labels:

70 Comments:

Blogger Swirl Girl said...

FIrst of all - your son is a bigger 'man' than that little shit kid.

Secondly- we learned from the awesome show "Little Bill" on Noggin how to handle a bully. Bullies feed off the reaction they get - so give no reaction.

If verbal bullying and taunting, reply with "so?" . Like, You smell. So? Your ugly. So? and so on.

If you say 'so?' enough times, the bully will see that he is not getting the rise out of you that he wants and he will eventually stop ...when he fails to evoke laughter or fear - he will stop.

If physical - walk away the first time. Then deck the little shit the second time. And make sure there are witnessess!

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:35:00 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Mother-FUCK.

Catchy tag: ever wanted to nard a kid?

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:39:00 PM  
Blogger buffi said...

Oh, this breaks my heart. And it brings up all of my fears about my 2nd grader. He is much like your little guy sounds. Loving, sweet, funny. But, he is also a little awkward. And he has been having some kind of trouble...I suppose I should ask him about this. I guess I don't want to hear the answer.

Give your guy lots of hugs and kisses from me, too. And I hope that things get better for him. This parenting gig is so hard sometimes, isn't it?!

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:41:00 PM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Damn. Your poor kid... that's awful. I can't imagine the kind of violent/defensive mother lion reactions going through your head right now.

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:45:00 PM  
Blogger Shonda Little said...

I have no advice to give, but I will say that I am sorry, so sorry, you have this to deal with. I'm a momma bear myself and I can't imagine how I would handle this. Well, I take that back. My "handling" would likely land me in fucking jail because I would have a difficult time restraining myself from eating that kid's face....little prick. My friend's son is currently dealing with this very thing and she and I have discussed how to handle it. I don't know if there are any good answers, just some that are better than others. I think Swirl Girl's solutions sound pretty sound to me, though.

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Sammanthia said...

I think BPD said it best.
My heart goes out to you guys... we went through this a few years ago and I know exactly what you're going through. It sounds like you've done exactly what needed to be done, and hopefully it'll be taken care of. Keep us posted.

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:52:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

We have had a couple of these.

My son, while brilliant and amazing, is also somewhat small and a few weeks ago a kid who is much larger and had picked on him before had taken to having his friends hold him down while he punched my kid in the stomach. My husbands answer? Kick him in the nuts. I can't say I disagree. He's in 4th though so that is probably not the answer for you.

My daughter used to get off the bus every day crying bc this kid who hated my son (in the same grade) would pick on her to make him mad. She was in kindergarten when it happened. We informed the school, actually got on the bus and told the driver while pointing to the kid and it stopped. We also made the pricipal review the bus tapes.

Which leads me to my last point in the longest comment ever known to man....most of the buses have cameras. Make the school review them if you can. Make 'em do something to earn your tax dollars.

And that kid? I'm on my way to your house now to help you deal with this. Pisses me off.

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:53:00 PM  
Blogger Seriously Mama said...

I'll be passing through Iowa in a few days and have no problem having a few words with this kid for you...

I remember when my son was just learning how to talk. We had been traveling and stopped at a McDonalds playland and let him stretch his legs for a few minutes. My 2 year old kept saying "hi" to a boy who was about 6 or 7. That kid looked at my baby and told him to shut the hell up or he would knock his head off. I was beyond shocked and hurt that someone would say this to my little one that I didn't even know what to say to him. It scares me to let him grow up and have to experience some of this crap. Hug your boy and tell him it'll get better.

Sunday, November 23, 2008 11:10:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

You know, it scares me either way...that my kids will be picked on or that they'll be the bullies. I don't know what makes a kid a bully. I hope I'm not raising any. They seem compassionate, but I'd think that all parents would think that of their children, right? Or not?

Hugs to your boy. That is big time suckitude.

Monday, November 24, 2008 12:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Steve said...

My son was bullied at school mercilessly by a group of kids. I was absolutely apoplexic about it, especially when he wouldn't tell me what was going on. The upside is that those bullies are destined to fail in life, whereas more gentle and thoughtful people generally have better lives in my opinion.

Monday, November 24, 2008 3:44:00 AM  
Blogger selkie said...

sorry about your son ... my eldest was bullied in elementary as well - I found the BEST strategy (apart from what you have done already which is excellent) is to EMPOWER the child; talk about scenarios - what happens when he is being bullied, come up with strategies to counter it - words, how to present himself, how to stand up and attack (first, verbally) BACK - how to CALL it for what it is - NAME it to the other kid so there is no qusetion about what is occuring - the other kid won't like it but words DO have power -

and damn it, sometimes (and I know a lot of peopole will jump on me for this) fighting back is ultimately what has to happen. Even if he loses. Becuase he will then feel less like a victim and more like he stuck up for himself.

After more than a year of bullying and trying to deal with strategies, when Maeve got into the car with bruises and deep scratches, we involved the school - and it STILL escalated into one fight between them where Maeve fought back - and it was a GOOD thing - she felt stronger and more capable becuase of it - AND the school handled it REALLY well (both kids ended up working together for various teachers during breaks).

Monday, November 24, 2008 6:16:00 AM  
Blogger Middle Aged Woman said...

If this bully has not been suspended from school for use of physical force, it's time to demand it.

Monday, November 24, 2008 6:18:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

I agree with MAW above, that kid needs to be suspended. It pisses me off when schools think a bunch of guidance talk is going to be the solution. The kid is probably laughing behind their backs afterwards.

I'd also call the parents and confront them. Tell them if it happens again, you're going to sue their asses. I'm serious. This kind of crap just really gets to me. Sorry you are dealing with it, FADKOG.

Monday, November 24, 2008 6:35:00 AM  
Anonymous WaltzInExile said...

You are amazing. The poignancy of this post awakened MY Mama Bear on behalf of your boy! (It also has me wondering if I've been overlooking what's been going on with our first grader, who has in the past month been reluctant to talk about school or get ready in the morning and isn't sleeping well.... Hmmm.)

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:32:00 AM  
Blogger DCD said...

I have also seen the "Little Bill" episode Swirl Girl mentioned. Lots of good advice here. I don't really have anything epic to add except that I am so PISSED this happened to your sweet boy!

I'm sorry you are all dealing with this. But you are an awesome Mom, and with your and Tool Man's help, he will get through this.

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When my oldest was in 3rd grade, he was hit on the bus by a 5th grader. He said it had happened before but didn't want me to do anything. I asked some neighborhood kids to make sure my son hadn't started it or been part of something. They all agreed that the other boy had just gone over and hit my son.

My wife and I went to school (over son's protests) and informed the AP in charge of discipline. His response was to suspend the boy AND MY SON for 3 days. Their policy is that it takes two to fight. In so many words, I asked him if that meant HE would get in trouble if I dragged him over the desk and beat the crap out of him. Ended up going to principal and school board before getting my son off suspension.

Moral of story - sometime talking to bad people just doesn't work. With school bullies and with aggressive governments...

Poppa Bear

Monday, November 24, 2008 8:19:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

First, let me say that I so sympathize with your situation. I somehow attracted the attention of a young asshole or two when I was in jr. high. And the most prominent among them didn't live to see graduation. Which, by that time, gave me no joy at all. . .

The 'classical' answer to bullying, which is not so much encouraged anymore, but was generally pretty effective, was for the 'target' to draw his line in the sand, and the next time the bully came around to dish out his punishment, pre-emptively haul off and hit him as hard as you can, right on his nose. Or his stomach. And repeat as necessary, until the bullying stops.

Because bullies are fundamentally cowards. All they need from any given 'target' is sufficient encouragement to select a different target. . .

Monday, November 24, 2008 8:26:00 AM  
Blogger KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

You have handled it so well...I hope that if I am ever faced with the same situation I follow your lead. Kudos to your child's teacher, school and bus system for stepping in and helping your son. Big Hugs to the little love...

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:44:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis RenĂ©e said...

I hate that your sweet little boy is going through this. It completely breaks my heart. You hang in there and keep reassuring him and build his confidence.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:51:00 AM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

OOOHHHHHH my heart hurts for you!

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:57:00 AM  
Anonymous DC Urban Dad said...

Wow you are handling this well. One of these days that kid will be buffing your son's car and pumping his gas. Would love to meet the parents of that kid.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:58:00 AM  
Blogger Velma said...

I'm so sorry you and your little guy have been dealing with this. It's just heartbreaking to see your child damaged in whatever way by being bullied. We haven't had too many problems with it yet, but there are always some kids who will feel free to pick on others until someone makes them stop. Sigh.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger Heinous said...

That's just horrible. My heart goes out to you and your son during this.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger Bunny said...

I;m crying and my heart aches for your son and for you and your husband. My son, age 7, is a prime target for bullies because he is "different" (autistic). He refuses to ride his special ed bus and wants lately to ride the "regular" bus. My neighbors have told me horror stories about the regular bus (the driver has no control over the kids and it is rather chaotic) and how lucky David was to be riding a different bus. I've tried to explain to my son that there are kids on that bus that wouldn't likely be very nice to him, but he doesn't get it. To my knowledge he hasn't been truly bullied yet, but I know it will happen one day and I'm on pins and needles, apprehensive for the day when it comes.

Best wishes to your little guy and you and your husband. I hope eventually the little bully gets his comeuppance.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger Kyddryn said...

Aww, sugar...I'm so sorry. Bullying sucks.

I admire you for NOT getting into that child's face and scaring the ever-lovin' crap out of him...because I can empathize with the desire to do so.

I hope the child's parents are brought into this - he won't change if they don't take part in the solution - and that he is not given too many second chances.

Honestly, I think he should have been removed from the school the moment he did it again...but perhaps I am unreasonable.

I'm wishing you the best.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger cIII said...

If your Boy would just Jackboot that liitle Shit in the Junk, just Once........

Nevermind.

Your boy is taking the High road and that's Admirable. And a Hard road to take. Violence is so Easily come by these days.

I'll tell you what though. I'm unemployed and not above "bracing" an Elementary School kid.

Just sayin'.

Nothin' pisses me Off more than a Bully.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger cIII said...

Also......

thought about this song while I was Reading your Post.....

Good Stuff.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OmWAi8Uze8

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:44:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

It's awful that kid shave to deal with this kind of thing, but I guess it's been a staple of the school experience as long as there have been schools. Hopefully the administration and the kids parents are taking this seriously. It's all too easy for this kind of behavior to escalate these days.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I'd want to clock that kid. I'm glad your son told you what's been going on so the school people could be made aware.

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger kaila said...

I feel for you and your son. I often worry about my son because he likes to play with the older boys, and doesn't always realize when they are making fun of him. I worry they will take advantage of that and take it too far.

I hope things get better for all of you.

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:36:00 AM  
Blogger bekah said...

how heartbreaking! kids can be so mean, Im so sorry for your son.

And hey, I look young for my age, you uh..you want me to find this kid? Maybe scare him a little?

Hahaha just keep it in mind

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:49:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

That really, really sucks- hurts too, when we so want to have them grow up kind, and nice- and what is this idiot kid teaching.

Sounds like you're handling it well, your son is a great kid, and I'm glad he's now telling you what's going on.

Hugs-

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:51:00 AM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

This made me want to cry, too. My son has been dealing with this. Here's the plan: We'll be each others' alibis. You take care of my bully, and I'll take of yours. See? Perfect! :)

Monday, November 24, 2008 12:14:00 PM  
Blogger Chas said...

Although I've never been bullied, I have a son who is the same age as yours. It would break my heart to find out someone- anyone- had been mistreating him. Hopefully there will be no more incidents. Poor guy.

Monday, November 24, 2008 12:20:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

Along with the other 3000 commenters, I just want to say that this sucks. No one wants to see our children cry and worry about life, especially at such a young age. I just hope that the school (and the other kid's parents, ideally) proactively do something about it.

The school bus has become an evil, evil place. The amount of Bad Things that happen on poorly supervised school buses across the country... Yikes.

Monday, November 24, 2008 12:36:00 PM  
Blogger Chibi said...

I'm so sorry. :(

I was "bullied" when I was 16 and it scared the living hell out of me -- I can't even fathom how it must feel to a 7-year old. *hugs to you both*

Monday, November 24, 2008 12:50:00 PM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

Oh, honey, I feel for you. It's difficult because it seems that parents involvement can only go so far. I was bullied too (I think all of us were to some degree). My mom just told me to hold my head up high and to not let the bully get to me. He/she would move on to someone else soon enough. I learned to make fun of myself at a young age because it took some of the wind out of the bully's sails. But you know what, bullying a boy is a totally different animal. I'm so sorry I don't have any advice. Keep us posted.

Monday, November 24, 2008 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

This breaks my heart for you and the littly guy. I actually teared up a bit reading this post. And a part of me really wanted to haul ass to wherever you are in the midwest and trip the bully while he was walking in the lunchroom so he'd get a face full of mashed potatoes. But, what would that solve?

Here's hoping things work out for the little guy. And, for the record, I firmly believe in karma. The bully will gets what's coming to him.

Monday, November 24, 2008 1:34:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

That's awful. It reminds me of my own school days, too. Some things never change, unfortunately. :-(

Monday, November 24, 2008 2:58:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

:o(
We encountered that with my niece a couple of years ago. She was about 3.5 and a little boy kept shoving her. I know this is not the popular thing to say but I told her to shove back. I explained you shouldn't pick on anybody but you could defend yourself.

I'm sorry your son is going through this. And know how impotent you feel. Do you think it would be a good idea to have your older son talk to him? To your son I mean.

Monday, November 24, 2008 3:45:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea with the Flipflops said...

My heart breaks for the both of you. My son had it so bad in grade one and when we went to the school they said that was just life. The kid even took things from him like lunch or books. Well we pulled him from the school with the school telling us that kids like that are everywhere. It was not the kid that was the big issue it was the lack of dealing with it that was!

The school my son goes to now would NEVER put up with it. I am so glad you school is on it and so are you.

Unleash the Mamma bear... and keep hugging your little one. You are a wonderful parent!

Monday, November 24, 2008 3:47:00 PM  
Anonymous goodfather said...

This post made my hackles raise. Literally. I was bullied as a kid, and I considered suicide as a result. It is such a lonely, desperate place.

My own son wasn't bullied at all though school - he was more confident than me, somehow.

Monday, November 24, 2008 4:03:00 PM  
Blogger Laggin said...

Would a little martial arts training do him some good? Not so he can whomp this kid but to build up his self-esteem and teach him to carry himself confidently? Just trying to think actively.

Also? I'd join Ciii in a little revenge.

Monday, November 24, 2008 5:14:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

i hate this stuff.
it just breaks my heart...your poor lil guy. it sucks when all you wanna do is knock the mean kid down but you really can't cause we're suppose to be adults, but...still. did it cross your mind or am i the only hateful one here?

aww bless his lil' heart...what's that kids name? i dont have aproblem beatin a kids ass...you say the word.

Monday, November 24, 2008 6:02:00 PM  
Blogger loudange said...

Wow, that is all so sad. Although its horrible that its been going on for so long, at least you know now and are getting a handle on things.

You fabulous blogger need to find that old neighbour of yours and do something to make him PAY for denting your poor little head! Jerkface

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:03:00 PM  
Blogger Stella B said...

oh man, I got a lump in my throat just reading this. You are doing such an awesome job, though, and handling it so well. Kudos. Your son may not remember elementary school fondly, but he'll always remember that his mom stood up for him in public and comforted him in private, and that means more than anything.

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:13:00 PM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

Pretty much what everybody else said. What do I know, I don't have kids. But I'm sitting here crying for your sweet boy, who I feel like I know from your stories, remembering what it was like being bullied, and wishing I lived near you and could go scare the living shit out of that kid. I can and I would, you know. Big hugs from North Carolina.

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:21:00 PM  
Blogger Rhea said...

Oh, wow, this was heartbreaking. As parents, we want to protect our kids from the world. And we can't. It's so hard.

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:36:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

Girl, I am soSoSO sorry to hear about The Boy's sitch. Rest assured that you are NOT a bad mom, you are obviously doing everything possible to deal with what's going on and help The Boy deal, too.
He's gonna get through this.

PS the bully kid's mom could not possibly be NEARLY as hot and wonderful as you are, perhaps thie horrible boy is just eaten up with envy!

Monday, November 24, 2008 7:59:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

Grr, Bullies - I hate bullies! They are so weak. I got bullied (only verbally thankfully) when I was in Jr. High and I will never forget the crappy feeling. I'm so glad that your little one came forward to tell you so that you could take care the situation. Hugs babe!

Monday, November 24, 2008 8:53:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

I had to come back and tell you how upset I was with the little jerk who threw his lunchbox at you. :o(

Maybe we can look him up on facebook and go kick his ass?

Sorry, there I go being violent again.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:11:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

That totally happened to Ben last year. To the point where the other kid got suspended for a week or two due to it. And I'll never forget how f*cking furious I was at the whole situation. I wanted to punch that kid in the head and scream at his parents.

I'm so sorry that your son is going through the same thing. It's making me furious over here. Anything I can do to help? I TOTALLY WILL.

*hugs*

And I'm sorry for you, too, dude. I remember how hideous I felt.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

Fuck. Double FUCK.

Just do me a favour. Try not to get your ass tossed in the clink if you have to deal with said kid's parents.

(Ahem. Speaking from experience.)

But if you do, call me. I'll pay your bail.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:47:00 PM  
Blogger CT Mom said...

Wow. I am so sorry this is happening to your son. Both G and I were victims of bullying in middle school My older daughter got caught up in some cyber-mean girl stuff where she was a victim and also hurt another girl, and we applied the lessons from both sides.

As for the mama bear instinct, I so get that. Don't mess with my girls because then you've got to deal with me. Push it hard enough, and I might end up in the clink like Redneck Mommy.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:22:00 PM  
Blogger TattooedMinivanMom said...

Oh, I'm so so so so sorry this is happening. Bullying is an awful, awful thing to deal with. So far I've only had one instance with each child but never an ongoing one. It is good that the school is at least trying to do something about it and not blowing it off but unfortunately, the situation hasn't changed yet probably because the offending child is himself screwed up somehow. It's hard cause you wanna get pissed at the other child but you gotta hold the parents responsible for not teaching better. My very first post ever was about bullying. I wanna wrap my kids up in a bubble and protect them forever. But I can't.

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Pam said...

Well this just totally sucks. I'm sure that he'll get through it but it's so wrong that he has to go through it in the first place. It's good that he told you, though, and doesn't have to weather it alone anymore. My heart goes out to both of you.

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:45:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

How horrible! Your poor boy! And poor you! But I am so glad to hear the school is acting on it. It blows me away that all the preschools I know have zero policies for TODDLERS, yet some regular schools will sit back and do nothing.

I was bullied, too, but never ongoing, just different assholes at different times. I worry that my son will get bullied. And then I worry that if he does get bullied he'll go completely circus freak crazy kick the bully's ass. And then he'll be the one in trouble.

I'm so sorry this is happening. Big big huge hugs to you and your little guy! And if you need one more person to get your back, I'm there.

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Kelley said...

I am crying with you babe.

Sucks to be a mum sometimes doesn't it. Cause all you want to do is beat that little shit within an inch of his life, rip off his limbs and beat him again with the wet end.

And then his parents.

And his dog.

And then shit in his bed.

I hope this little bastard gets his just desserts.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 5:07:00 AM  
Blogger katie said...

HI, my fave Diff Gal!! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! Have a great holiday. I have missed ya. My weiner sends holiday greetings your way, my dear. :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 6:17:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must have been on your son to try and hide, and on you now that you know the reason.

Prayers for you all.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger KimandCo said...

Ok, I want names so I can go kick some ass. Just kidding. Sort of.

That really sucks, for your son and you.

I was bullied for while by some hoodlum girls who were the in 9th and 10th grade. My mom met with them "privately" (she hunted them down) and made it very clear "she had enough money to make sure they were properly taken care of and it would never be linked back to her." It stopped pretty quickly.

Good luck!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 4:00:00 PM  
Blogger Mom and Wife said...

My daughter was bullied. Over and over and over. It started in elementary school and continued in to high school. She reported it. I reported it. We told the teachers, the principals and the resource police officers at the various schools. Nothing happened. Finally she snapped, punched the other girl. Guess what happened?? C'mon take a guess. Yeppers, my daughter ended up in court for her and I quote "brutal and unprovoked attack on another girl". What punishment did she get at home? NOTHING!
My heart goes out to you and especially your son. It so takes it's toll.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 4:23:00 PM  
Blogger Ms Picket To You said...

this scares the pants off of me because I am pretty sure i wouldn't have as much restraint as you. i am so sorry for your little boy. would it be okay if i kicked the kid's ass? what's the policy on that?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 5:13:00 PM  
Blogger Daddy Dan said...

Bullies suck.

I was bullied in junior high school, so I know exactly how your son is feeling - helpless, scared, and alone. I hope things improve for him and returns to the happy, talkative sweet kid he is inside.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 5:20:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

I'm coming late to the post... sorry.

I, like you and many others, was bullied as a kid for six weeks. It was excruciatingly painful, made worse by the fact that after the fact, it was revealed the teachers knew what was going on but actively ignored it.

At least nowadays teachers and administration are much more informed. I trust that everyone in his life (the bus driver, the teachers, the principal) continue to be vigilant. You didn't mention his parents though. I hope someone has informed them as well, and that they are dealing with their son responsibly too.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 10:57:00 AM  
OpenID themuseasylum said...

I've just come over from Bejewell's site (where I lurk), and I am so angry to hear that your son is being bullied. One thing that I've heard that can help is for you to find out what he likes, and encourage him to do it. Art, music, swimming, whatever it is. Doing something he likes will make him more confident, and nothing defeats a bully quicker than confidence. And if he wants to learn karate or some other kind of martial art, even better.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 8:53:00 PM  
Blogger Maggie, Dammit said...

I have two kids. This is my biggest nightmare. I can't get the image of your son sleeping so fitfully against you out of my head. What kind of world are we spinning that's fostering these bullies? Your poor, sweet boy. He's so lucky to have you.

Sunday, November 30, 2008 1:11:00 PM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

Aww, sweetie - I'm just catching up.

This made me cry. I want to hug you and your little man both.

Me and my three wonderfully delinquent boys are on notice. We'll come up there and set that bully straight.

Monday, December 01, 2008 4:25:00 PM  
Blogger Sherendipity said...

This makes me so angry. And sad. And worried. And anxious.
I hate that this is a part of your lives. Anyone's lives, really.
I can only imagine how helpless you feel. I'm sorry, hon. I wish words could help.

Saturday, December 06, 2008 8:04:00 PM  
Blogger Whitemist said...

I know I am late (as usual) I remember the bully who tormented me at school and I would not do anything because it was at school. The he came over my neighbors house one day. I will only say I was never bothered by any bully ever again.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009 3:05:00 PM  

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