...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

oh, by gosh, by golly, it's time for mistletoe & holly...

...and making out with my youngest son.

OK, not really, but wow, for the past month of so, my five year old has been laying the love down on me like the only virgin in his graduating class (His college graduating class. Fingers crossed!).

To be fair, I get a bit of the love from this child on a regular basis; however, there are many times when I have to barter for a kiss or make promises I can't weasel out of for a hug (a lesson he's no doubt picked up on via the documentary that plays out daily in the living room between his father and me). From approximately February to mid-October, if our house were to go up in a blaze, my sons would be all, "Grab the man who buys us things and lets us ride in his truck! Forgo the woman who incubated us in her belly and nurtured us from her bosom! Rapido! To the mailbox, where we agree to meet in the event of emergency!"

But when the holiday season rolls around, as my youngest boy begins to realize the impact his moderate disregard for me at any time other than when I'm tempting him with ice cream or narcotics (kidding) might have on his naughty or nice scale, he turns into a little love machine. Don't be surprised if you walked into my house and heard Barry White, Sade or the soundtrack to High School Musical 2 caressing the air and my little Lothario giving me the "Come over here, woman..." gesture (which, were this my husband, would involve him jiggling his glass at me in the universal sign to get him a refill, but for my kindergartener, it means beckoning me over with a little finger wag. Alas, it's his middle finger. We're working on that).

Every day, at any time, I'm showered with kisses and squeezed as tightly as tiny arms can squeeze. Admittedly, I love it. I relish the gleam in his eye when I ask him who loves him and he says "Mama!" where, at any other time of the year, his answer is always "Daddy!" Not to take sides, I do complement my query by asking who else loves him, so he will respond by saying his father does, too, but I must admit I'm soaking up the first place love after being an "also ran" who only crosses the finish line after a lot of begging and perhaps some fake tears.

You could say I'm simply coaxing the love out of him by always asking him who loves him. I'd argue that I'm just preparing him for the psychological warfare women will unleash upon him one day and perhaps administer for the rest of his life. Toughening him up for the inevitable with these wicked games we play. But the kid can be a wonderful softy once December arrives in full force. These days, he walks around professing his love for me like some woebegone Romeo.

"I love you, Mama."
"Mama, I love!"
"Have I told you lately that I love you, Mommy?"
"My love, sweet Mama, 'tis greater than the mountains and farther reaching than the stars!"

Who wouldn't love that! I'd like to get me some of that in July, when gifts and stockings and heeds of "Santa's watching you!" didn't have to be used as warfare.

So for now, I'll take what I can get, and the delivery of hugs and kisses has been staggering. To store up on what I fear will drift off again by December 26th, I will ask for kisses at every opportunity. Waiting at the meat counter at the grocery store Monday evening for our pork chops to be wrapped, we counted how many times we could share kisses until our order was complete. At my oldest son's basketball game this past weekend, I'd snag a peck for every pick. God bless this child for not being too ashamed to plant a pucker on his mother in public. At least for now.

However the love gets doled out, whether it's sincere (and yes, I believe it is, and I believe in Santa Claus - at least a little bit! - too) or whether it's fleeting, I'm hoarding it like someone who snags all the perfect presents on their holiday wishes and looks forward to giving them to someone they love.

Because the kid is a charmer. And because I know when the answer returns to always being "Daddy!" that within that response he means me, too. And because I have to hold onto the hope that he'd actually not leave me if our house was burning. Because for now, it's burning with love.



Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

awww...so sweet. I have to admit I'm savoring these last few months of wet openmouthed kisses from my youngest; as I recall those fade with the advent of kindergarten.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 9:17:00 PM  
Blogger Chuck said...

Mama's Boys unite! I'll proudly say that I'm 39 and I still love my mama! But the "making out" ended a long time ago. Like sometime during the late 80's. ;)

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 10:59:00 PM  
Blogger FindingHeart said...

um, I could'a sworn you weren't in Arkansas, dear Jocasta. *heh heh*

Nah, I'm sure it's much like the Wii love I'm getting around here. Santa can be a boon and a plague all at the same time. ;)

Thursday, December 13, 2007 12:51:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Oooh, so very sweet! That fine young man is wise beyond his years and you are so smart to grab the kisses when you can.

Thursday, December 13, 2007 1:08:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Ah the cute angle.... Works most every time....

Thursday, December 13, 2007 5:28:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

I remember well, when the boys got "too big" for hugs and kisses and cuddles, and other outright displays of their love; thankfully, our daughter seems to be able to carry on, well past kindergarten!

I'm with you though, take the love while you can!

Thursday, December 13, 2007 6:46:00 AM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

My ovaries are really throbbing right now... :)

In my best Barry White impression (which isn't very good because I'm a tenor)

I've heard people say that
Too much of anything is not good for you, baby
Oh no
But I don't know about that
There's many times that we've loved
We've shared love and made love
It doesn't seem to me like it's enough
There's just not enough of it
There's just not enough
Oh oh, babe

Thursday, December 13, 2007 7:49:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Well, kudos to your Hubster for managing to snag the bulk of the non-holiday love. If the question, "Who loves ya?" were put neutrally (?) to any of my kids, at any time of the year, "Daddy" would be a most unlikely answer. Guess I'm just not all warm and cuddly like your guy. . .

Thursday, December 13, 2007 9:25:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis RenĂ©e said...

Yeah, I've got one of those guys in my house too: my husband. He's all smooches around Christmas and our anniversary month. I wonder if he was like your little man when he a kid? I'll have to ask his mom.

You know, I'm thinking some of these stories of yours would make such a nice book. Do you print them off to save for you kids later?

Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:34:00 AM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

Crazy Boy is like that too. He wriggles out of my arms to no end and only wants me when something he wants is just out of reach. what a terd.

Then there's Baby Boy. He loves his mama dearly! lol I can't get that boy's arms from around my neck for nothing! lol

I'd settle for a happy medium, but for now I am chasing Crazy with Baby tightly grasping to my leg as I run!

Thursday, December 13, 2007 2:25:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

This really ties all these posts together, because I was just talking about making out with your Mom in the comments to your last post.

Thursday, December 13, 2007 3:07:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I miss those days...so cute! You're little one sounds like a sweetheart, and I'll be he gets it from his big brother!

Thursday, December 13, 2007 6:52:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

1blueshi1 - I'm getting more affection from the youngest since he started kindergarten, so I'm hoping to hold onto that for as long as possible!

Chuck - Your mom probably appreciates that the making out has tapered off, too!

FH - Ah! Glad to see you here. I can't get to your blog. If you come back here, let me know! I kind of thought the lovefest was fueled by Wii passion, but we've had the talk about that. Though, honestly, I bet there's still some of that behind each kiss.

Nan - He is, indeed, smart beyond his years. He's going to overtake me before I know it. And if I could box up the love, bet that I'd do it!

Savage - But this time? Did it work this time?

Sailor - I'm trying to get his older brother to learn by this sweet young boy's example, but so far he's holding strong to his "I'm too big for that" business.

RS - I thought I'd get your ovaries throbbing, and wow! The Barry White? Stellar!

Des - Wanna borrow my boys for a weekend? They'll always say Dad when asked. Like Pavlovian masters. The upside is you get to feel the love and I get a weekend free! w00t!

Phyllis - I hope my boys grow up to be like your husband in that respect! As for the stories, I've not printed any out. I should try and do that sometime.

Choppzs - I had the hanger-on in earnest last night. It's a wonder I can hold my head up today for all the clinging he gave me. It sounds like your days are fun-filled!

FTN - Hello, future stepdad...

Stacie - Ha! Well, he gets something from his big brother. He gets the "ask them for a Wii!!" line fed to him prior to the lovefest!

Friday, December 14, 2007 8:32:00 AM  
Blogger Chag said...

I love that he calls you over with his middle finger.

Friday, December 14, 2007 9:59:00 PM  
Anonymous MustacheTech said...

I've learned to take all that kind of love I can get when they're little, but they still find different ways to show it as they get older. Sometimes you just have to decipher it from the things they say. I've got little ones in every age group and they all have their own special way. If you pay attention, you'll see it evolve as they grow and you'll get a bit of insight about the kind of adults they'll become. It's a great thing to see...

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

Friday, December 14, 2007 11:55:00 PM  
Blogger you da mom! said...

i love love love when squid gives me kisses. he goes..."mmmmmwwwwa!" when he does it, too. i just realized i never posted a blog about that. i really need to get on that.

Saturday, December 15, 2007 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

i think one of ovaries just released an egg reading this.

so not cool.

but it's great your little guy loves you. i say take it when you can get it.

i mean, next thing you know he'll be bringing you like power tools to show his undying affection.

Sunday, December 16, 2007 8:05:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Chag - Ah, in my own twisted way, I love it, too.

Mustachetech - Thank you for your visit and words. When I watch my boys, I do get the flashes of what they're going to be and it's rather stunning and overwhelming to me. But lucky. Just very lucky.

you da mom! - ha! the youngest and I do the whole 'mmmwwaaa' thing, too. It turns into a game of how can hold it the longest or do it the loudest. Halfway through, I'm having to hold my ears. The kid's got some lungs!

kimmyk - Oh, but I totally dig me some guy who will ply me with his power tools. Seriously, anyone who turns on a chordless screwdriver and asks me if I wanna...?

I'm a goner.

Now, if the guy's a tool, that's another story altogether.

Sunday, December 16, 2007 8:40:00 PM  

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