this is the beginning...
Hi Lady I Had The Pleasure Of Assisting Yesterday,
It was nice to meet you. I know our time together was fleeting, but do know that I like to make every experience at the giant megatron bookstore a fulfilling one for our customers. It's because of you that I earn my pay.
However, it's also because of you that I sigh, enter the break room and scream the silent scream of a thousand dying souls and listen as my fellow coworkers tell me how pale and shaky I am (you know, I get told that a lot. huh. anyway...) after attempting, unsuccessfully, to swim with you through the shark-infested waters of the children's department. In light of our experience together, I feel it necessary to say the following: please don't get mad at me if I devote several very busy minutes to you tossing out idea after idea that you shoot down. It would rock if you actually knew something about the child you're wishing to purchase a book for. Their age, interest, reading level, what they ate for supper last night. Anything. Trust me, I don't get paid enough for you not to accept any of my ideas and then stand there, indignant, as I begin to concede defeat at your hands.
Because when you dissed on my Little House on the Prairie idea 30 minutes into our happy time together, I'd had it. Nobody knocks Half-Pint, people. Nobody. And nobody has to sigh really loudly and look at me like I am an idiot when I do, OK? Save it for your own break room.
I realize it's a bit ironic to toss this little note off to you, what with the reading and all it requires. Apparently words aren't your thing. No worries. I get it. Words are scary for some people. Plus, you don't know me. I don't know you. But I'm going to encounter more like you. We've only just begun this journey of holiday shopping, so let's all work together and make the season bright, shall we?
Good.
Oh, and please don't say "Little House on the Prairie was a book, not just a television show?!" when someone suggests it. FYI. We'll all get along much better this way.
Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood bookseller. I mean it. I'm friendly. Pale, shaky, but hella friendly.
Labels: hi ho, hi ho. this is the beginning? gag. seriously. it gags me
10 Comments:
I know you're nice, patient, helpful. *patting you on the back* Maybe next time, when it's obvious they don't have a clue, you might suggest a gift card. Kids love gift cards. Well, at least mine do. And if you happen to see me at the megatron book store tomorrow (cause I'll be there) give me a little wink so I know it's you.
Anais Nin. Great children's books. I bet she would have gone for it.
Sounds like no matter *what* you'd have come up with, it wasn't going to satisfy her.
People can be so dumb about things sometimes, so frustrating.
Hugs, and continue being friendly!
There, there, DKG, it'll be OK; it really will. Especially on payday.
See, this is why I've steered clear of service-sector-type employment. Somewhere in my mom's archives is an 8th-grade report card with a comment to the effect that I have trouble 'suffering fools gladly' (I'm sure my algebra teacher didn't use those exact words, but that's what he meant. . .)
But hey, on the bright side - at a half-hour a pop, you won't have more than 16 or so of these a day, every day between now and Christmas. . .
I always say my job is great - except for the clients. Isn't Customer Service grand?! Sorry you have another month of this to look forward to.
retail! gotta luv it! I tell ya...this time of year...I don't miss it AT ALL! My heart goes out to you...
Stacie
You've got to stop with this daytime posting. I mean it, stop! ;)
I'm guessing as long as you don't start to turn blue and you get a chance to catch your breath that it will all work out in the end. Relax, it is all just a dream.
Nelly is mean! :P (Ha!)
ilvplshrk
the wack jobs have been out in force at my work, too. I think marketing has been sending out the promotional crack pipes again...really, if I hadn't been off on vaca all last week, I don't think I could have made it through. I'm not even going today, that's how bad it was! Well, that, and they wouldn't LET me work today...that COULD have had something to do with it.
Let's take a deep breath and refuse to let The Holiday take us down.
I had to laugh!!
I got my daughter all three volumes of Anne McCaffrey's "Harper Hall" trilogy and a hard-bound edition of "How To Raise and Keep a Dragon"... you know, just in case one pops up!
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