...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, March 16, 2009

so the chinese say good things come in pairs...

Hall & Oates

peanut butter & jelly

Wayne & Garth

War & Peace

He-Man & Skeletor

thunder & lightening

Thelma & Louise

The Thompson Twins (though technically a threesome, still fantastic)(hold me now)(please?)

Superman & Lois Lane

boobs

Romeo & Juliet

hugs & kisses

Regis & Kelly

Phineas & Ferb

nuts & bolts

bacon & eggs

These are all fantastic things to go well together.

Want to know what doesn't go well together?

PMS & the first day of spring break!

Please pray for me.

Oh, that's selfish, isn't it? Are you calling me selfish? I'm not selfish! I feel so fat...I'm fat, aren't I? I'm not crying! I said I'M NOT CRYING! Hold on...I need some chocolate...hold up, did you just mutter something about me being fat again? I SAID I'M NOT CRYING!!!

OK, please pray for my children. Then stop by the gift shop on your way out for the souvenir photo and T-shirt should the three of us get through this week unscathed.

Trust me, I'll be crying far more than them.

Labels:

51 Comments:

Anonymous DC Urban Dad said...

I am soooooo glad I am a dude.

And BTW, you are so not fat.

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:36:00 AM  
Blogger Laura B. said...

Oh my...yes, I agree. I have to say though, not having that monthly distress has been nice for the last 23 weeks. Pregnancy does have certain advantages. Maybe it's time to try for a girl? ;-)

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:40:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Although the question of whether Sid & Nancy actually went well together is somewhat debatable.

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:43:00 AM  
Blogger Dana's Brain said...

Oh honey. Never mind the poor little children and all they will endure, it's you I'm worried about. PMS just sucks donkey balls. PMS with Spring Break thrown in is more like elephant balls.

Good luck, I'm sending chocolate!

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:44:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Can I just eat some chocolate in your honor? I think I need to keep my chocolate...2 sick kids, clingy teething baby and a sick husband. Good times here too.

Monday, March 16, 2009 9:18:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Gosh, no Lennon & McCartney?

My Michelle (you know - 'these are words that go together well'. . . forget it. . .)?

Loggins & Messina?

Richard Burton & Elizabeth Taylor?

Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin?

Bob Hope & Bing Crosby?

Abbot & Costello?

Laurel & Hardy?

In & Out (heh-heh-heh)?

Up & Down?

Yin & Yang?

Gosh. . . the possibilities are just endless!

And yeef. . . a cruel practical joke on the part of the Universe. . . Just don't go all 'Carrie' on yer kids, OK?

Monday, March 16, 2009 9:28:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Spring break already? Ah you poor thing! Have some bacon. It always makes me feel better. If not, I hear Zoloft works wonders for pms.

Monday, March 16, 2009 9:46:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

You can be my Thelma to my Louise anyday.

P.S.
First month out from hysterectomy and nothing. I got nothing. I love this. You should try it!!

Monday, March 16, 2009 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Divine Chaos said...

I'm just gonna leave ya something to hopefully make ya giggle ('cause this is what i'm like when i'm PMSy .. kinda psychotic)... then I'm gonna back away slowly .. or run quickly, whichever seems the best option ...



Question:

Do you know how many women with PMS it takes to screw in a light bulb?

Answer:

One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually FIND the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE CARES! NO ONE EVER EVEN CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE... AND THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry ... what did you ask me?

Monday, March 16, 2009 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger cIII said...

Alcohol and Pills.

Just sayin'.

And may I say, you look Lovely. Please don't hurt me.

Monday, March 16, 2009 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

I so do not miss ANY of it! Goin on 5 years now. Other than hot flashes and a wicked weight problem I am so glad that there are no more surprises!

Shall I send that tub of chocolate fudge frosting now?

Monday, March 16, 2009 10:55:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

At least you have boys and there won't be 3 people PMSing during the same spring break.

Monday, March 16, 2009 11:37:00 AM  
Blogger Betsey Booms said...

Peanut butter cups.

Three words. So delicious.

Do it!

Monday, March 16, 2009 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger kaila said...

Olive & Juice

;)


at least you'll have good stories for us....

Monday, March 16, 2009 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger April said...

I am totally not bragging or rubbing it in, but . . . I sent my kids to my mom's! FOR THE WEEK!!Ha!! SUCKER!! And I am totally alone in my own house right now atthisveryminute! You are so jealous!!! Yes you are. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. But I am not trying to make you feel bad or anything. Kisses.

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:19:00 PM  
Blogger Chas said...

Oh how I feel for you. My last bout of PMS was a force to be reckoned with. Swiss Cake Rolls are my PMS savior. My family recognizes my PMS for what it is and bring them by the box to me with giant red bows on top. Where I promptly smack them upside the head with the box and then slink off to be alone and eat them two at a time.

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:21:00 PM  
Blogger Legallyblondemel said...

Shhh - we can't let the boys know that PMS actually exist; not my boy, at least. I've lectured him at length on this, so that he does not simply chalk my bad-mood-every-28-days up to mere hormones. At least, he now knows not to say it to my face.

My inner 12-year-old boy giggled at the inclusion of boobs on this list.

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:22:00 PM  
Blogger blissfully caffeinated said...

Go to your kitchen immediately and eat some sort of chocolate (preferably a plain hershey bar, but the fudge chips out of some Cherry Garcia will work fine too) and chase it with vodka or red wine, your choice. Trust me. Good luck to your children.

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Cheech & Chong

Penn & Teller

Fry & Laurie

Rowan & Martin (showing my age with this one, I'm sure. . .)

Buffalo Bob & Howdy Doody

Wile E. Coyote & The Roadrunner

Corned beef & cabbage

Biscuits & honey

Rum & Coke

Kahlua & Cream

Rest & Relaxation

. . .

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger MereCat said...

I'm hurling chocolate and sour cream and onion potato chips with windmill-like efficiency! Godspeed, my friend!

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:53:00 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

thanking the good lord my kids aren't on spring break right now..haha.

and praying for you!@

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

your word verification is 'carma'...any reason for that?

How'd you get Spring Break so early? I am dreading a week alone with the kids.

Monday, March 16, 2009 1:32:00 PM  
Blogger Under the Influence said...

Spring Break and PMS - they go together, right?

Monday, March 16, 2009 2:26:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

"And now our laughter just goes on and on. So come on lay your hands on me ..."

Right down there. In my pocket. That's right. I brought chocolate.

;-)

Monday, March 16, 2009 2:36:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

I KNEW I heard screaming and yelling and someone swearing in tongues coming from your general direction. Wow...

Monday, March 16, 2009 2:41:00 PM  
OpenID layoder said...

My spring break just ended yesterday, and my PMS just arrived yesterday. Coincidence? I think not.

Also... what about He-Man and SHE-RA?! Or Jem & the Holograms? Or Joanie and Chachi?

Regis & Kelly drive me nuts. Even more nuts than PMS. Am I alone with that?

Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs are my ultimate panacea. I hope you find yours pronto.

Monday, March 16, 2009 2:42:00 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I swear the reason my husband has been so excited about the man room is because of all the estrogen in my house.

Monday, March 16, 2009 2:49:00 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

sorry 'bout the PMS, thats a shame. Send the kids this way, until you're done, what's a few more for a few days?

Monday, March 16, 2009 3:35:00 PM  
Blogger Bee's Dark Side said...

Andy Husband:
My friends complain about their wives and how awful they are when they're PMSing and when they ask me about you, I always tell them I'm lucky.

(gullible) Bee:
Awwww.

Andy:
I tell them that thanks to your temper, I'm always on my toes anyway.

::splat!!:: out the second floor window he goes.

Monday, March 16, 2009 3:36:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

I'm not qualified to offer any advice, but I hope you feel less fat and selfish soon.

Monday, March 16, 2009 4:26:00 PM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Wait...I'm confused...did you WANT blood with my tails today??

Hallie :)

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:32:00 PM  
Blogger MadWoman said...

You know what goes well together?

PMS, Chocolate, Wine and Kids in bed.

And you're not fat.

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Sammanthia said...

You forgot FADKOG and Sam! It doesn't have the same ring as Thelma and Louise, but our road trip will have booze and Jonathon Rhys Myers, which is a lot more awesome.

Monday, March 16, 2009 8:59:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

Honey, just give in to the chocolate and call it a week. You obviously pissed karma off somehow....

Monday, March 16, 2009 9:52:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Does spring break mean the snow has thawed?
Oh, just send them outside anyway.
And whatever happened to spring break coinciding with Easter? At least then you could send them outside and eat their chocolate bunny!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

That is rather Abbot and Costello, I must say.
I offer you a Laurel and Hardy handshake for your efforts.
Despite your predicament, I still lust you....
You must be out of it cuz you forgot Sampson and Delilah right after Romeo and Juliet....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 4:47:00 AM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

I still have two and a half weeks until it is my turn to become a crazy-haired, babbling idiot.

NO! I didn't call YOU an idiot! Please don't hurt me!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 6:10:00 AM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

Edward and Bella (HAHAHA-just had to say that to make you crazy)-plus, didn't he desire her even more when "aunt flo" came to town? Am I sick or what?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 8:56:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Gosh, Savage, I dunno. . .

Samson and Delilah are a definite 'linked pair', but did they really go together WELL?. . .

;)

And hey - Juno & Paulie. . . ;)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 9:55:00 AM  
Blogger lime said...

oh sweet fancy moses, desmond was right...you're a hoot! i came over to say hello and immediately started to smile as i read your list interpreting chinese wisdom. when i got to "boobs" i literally guffawed.

may i add "testicles" to the list?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 10:59:00 AM  
Blogger lime said...

ok, i just read down a couple of posts and found out you even named your inner 14 yr old boy. i have one of them too and now am compelled to name him. what has desmond wrought?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 11:01:00 AM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

I want to kiss you with "church tongue" not porn tongue" for putting Hall & Oates on the top of your list.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 1:50:00 PM  
Blogger Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Aw, poor baby! You need a good cry, so let it all out, scream at someone and eat some chocolate and you will feel soooo much better!

Try to enjoy your spring break baby cakes!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

That totally sucks ass.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 2:30:00 PM  
Blogger PLO said...

Oh girl, I sure don't miss that...hang in there, I find booze helps.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 3:40:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Things are chaotic over here and I'm a bit behind on my comments. I hope you survived the first day. Or more to the point, everyone else did!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 11:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Kelley said...

I love you. You are so me.

Just thinner.

;)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009 5:59:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

DC Urban Dad - Sweetest man stepping up with the first kind words! Thank you! :)

Laura - I'm ready anytime Tool Man decides he's got the power!

TwoBusy - True, but I kind of see me walking down a set of stairs in a ratty tux singing "My Way" at some point today...

Dana's Brain - It's like a herd of elephant balls rolling around this place at this point!

Heather - I've been stalking my house for chocolate, even though I know there's none in the house. It should just magically appear at these times!

Des - Lennon & McCartney were definitely considered. So were a ton other, but I had to cap at some point! ;)

Heather - Bacon is on my grocery list today. Mmm...bacon...

kimmy - Let's blow the top off that car and ride, baby!

Divine Chaos - Huh...if you ask my husband, that's how I sound even if I am not experiencing PMS!

clll - Your combo has weight. Thanks for saying I don't. ;)

lori - I've been trying to kick the frosting thing, but yeah, it's going on my grocery list for today, too!

Cocotte - You seriously just put my whole world into perspective with your comment!

Betsey - I would roll around naked in peanut butter cups. Oh, yes I would.

kaila - Ah! I forgot the best one! olive & juice, indeed!

April - Do you really think it's wise to make a woman with raging PMS jealous?! ;)

Chas - I think I need to just be hooked up to an alternating IV drip of all things salty and chocolatey at this stage of the game!

legallyblondemel - Would PMS stand up as a legal defense? I may need to know this by the end of the week...

blissfully caffeinated - I should have had my kitchen better stocked with the chocolates and the alcohol because I knew spring break was arriving and I'd need the reinforcements. As it is, I'm kicking myself because of the double whammy I got!

Des - Wouldn't Buffalo Bill and Howdy Doody be generationally older than Rowan and Martin? ;)

MereCat - I scraped the last bits of chip dip off the sides of the container with my finger yesterday. I've reached desperation levels!

ali - If you want to send yours here when they are, I should be down with the program by then. Also, I could watch all the HSM movies with Miss Emily, so win-win!

Swirl Girl - Ha! 'Carma!' How prophetic!

Under the Influence - They go together about as well as fire and ice!

Always Home - But did you bring the king sized bars? ;)

Meg - It does get kind of bad. I may have scared kids at the playground yesterday with the wailing.

layoder - You had an even earlier spring break than we're having! I actually save myself for Reece's Peanut Butter Eggs. I skip the other times they're available and stick to the original. I'm shaky with glee at the thought of buying one today!

Kat - Tool Man should really look into making me a den of my own...for his own good!

Sailor - Luckily, we've gotten to go outside a lot, so they have room to run off their energy. Today, though? Trapped inside!

Bee - Andy's got a way with the zinger, doesn't he?! I think you've got your next comic... :)

Brian - Sadly, these feelings never completely go away....awww... :)

WWoW - A break from the blood was welcome! I couldn't even look last week!

MadWoman - These lovely progeny of mine have been waking up even earlier than they do on school days. Deeeeeeeelightful.... Wine, you say?

Sammanthia - In honor of your Willie Nelson crush, I loudly proclaim in our roadtrip honor - On the road again! Just can't wait to get on the road again!

Stiletto Mom - I should be spending this time with my head under the pillows and dreaming away the darkness... :)

Zip n Tizzy - So I was cleaning out my pantry this week and I came across the chocolate bunny my youngest son got LAST Easter!! It was tempting, but that waxy, hollow chocolate probably wouldn't have been worth it.

Savage - I must have been thinking about how romantic I've thought Romeo and Juliet is since I read it for the first time so long ago. Ah, Romeo...

Biscuit - I'd hurt you with hugs! :)

Christina Lee - Bwahahahaha...good one. Though, well, you know what I think...but that was a good one!

Des - Juno and Paulie are a great pair, too. Now I need to see that movie again.

lime - Indeed you may add testicles to the list, and I will add my shock and sadness that I didn't think of that!

lime - Definitely name your inner 14 year old boy. Give him wings to fly! (when spring break slows down, I'm coming to say hi back!)

steenky bee - You and me. You and me and a church tongue kiss to the sweet, sweet sounds of "Maneater"

Petra - The crying! Gah! The crying! I must scare people when I'm in tears at Target.

Aunt Becky - A big old ass, indeed!

PLO - It seems booze is running neck and neck with chocolate as the best cure for what ails me!

Mandy - Well, it's Wednesday morning, and so far everyone looks reasonably unscathed. However, I've not had breakfast yet, so they should watch their backs... :)

Kelley - Ah! I'm glad you're home and on the road to recovery, lady!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Well yeah. . . Buffalo Bob & Howdy Doody were even before my time. . .

Wednesday, March 18, 2009 10:29:00 AM  
Blogger iMommy said...

Phineas and Ferb? Really?

The good news is, it's not actually PMS. The bad news is, your brain is melting and you are about to die. Sorry.

(though, really, sorry 'bout pms on first day of spring break, because that super-sucks)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009 9:24:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - ;)

iMommy - I know. That one was a stretch, but it's just because I see them so dang much around here! Usually the same episode. All the time. So yeah, totally brain melting.

Thursday, March 19, 2009 9:20:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home