and i'm like 'forget you and forget my blog password too'

So Blogger was down for a few days last week, huh? I guess I could use that as my excuse for not writing for ::cough:: a month, but to be truthful, I must confess. The reason I've not been here is because I forgot the password to log into my Blogger account.

Seriously.

I've been writing here for nearly five years, and then boom! I drew a giant blank on the combination of words I've been typing in on the Blogger homepage since day one that allows me to gain access to this secret lair, as well as comment at your places of business. If that wasn't bad enough, travel back in time with me, won't you, as I remind you what I last wrote about...

"I'm not stupid. I'm not stupid now, I've never been stupid, and I don't plan on getting stupid."

Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha...ha! If there weren't already a song about irony, I could write one, don'tcha think?

So, hello, friends. It's good to see you again. How are you? What have I been up to? Oh, nothing special. Bracing myself for the end of the school year (three weeks away! Hooray!)(also, I've apparently been penning a little poetry). Purposely listening to this Justin Bieber song on the way to work (question - is there anything that Ludacris won't be featured on?). Playing a little game called 'Angry Birds.' Ever heard of it? Of course you have. Everyone in the world has heard of it and already grown bored of playing it by the time I discovered it a week ago. Hey, wanna talk about how cuckoo craaaazeee that nice fellow Charlie Sheen's been lately?!

I've also been trapped inside a lot because my hours at work (from an already generous 15 a week!) were cut and the weather's been so crappy I don't want to leave the house, so I've been working out six days a week and doing a lot of reading.

Cripes, I just realized what I've been doing is living the life of a prisoner! Alas, no Wendy O. Williams in "Reform School Girls" action up in this joint. Bummer. I do have biceps like a couple of angry vipers now, though. Tiny, still gestating in the egg vipers, but just you wait. Go heavy or go home, wussies! Also, here's a tip - I made friends with Rob Lowe so I could hear his stories and now you don't have to. You'll thank me because I'm your real friend for saving you the time you would've wasted on that one. Sorry, Sodapop Curtis. Please don't look at me like that (p.s. - for the love of heaven, why isn't "St. Elmo's Fire" on Netflix instant streaming?!)(trivia - I had the love theme from "St. Elmo's Fire" played during my wedding because I'm what the natives like to call hella romantic...and because the song that plays at the end of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," while awesome, wouldn't have conveyed the same tender emotion I was going for with the day. Oh, no)(chicka chicka).

I think that's about it. Pretty boring. In retrospect, I guess you should be happy I forgot my log in information because if this is the type of thunder I'm bringing, well then, go on out there strapped to your wireless microphones and holding your giant steel rods (not a metaphor), because you're safe in this storm! For now, I've got a cake to frost (again, not a metaphor) and some hot dogs to grill (possibly a metaphor). When I do have more to say, I'll be back!

(so...I guess see you in two months next time, huh?)