tell me! tell me! how to be a millionaire!

I sell books for a living. It's not even a living. It's for grocery money and maybe a tank of gas for the mini if the price per gallon ever falls below $2.89, and I haven't had to buy snacks this month for the kindergarten class on my grocery run.

So I don't make enough money to put up with some of the stuff I put up with. I do it because I like books. I would marry books if books were in love with me, too. You know why? They don't talk back. All their words are contained between pretty pictures.

I wouldn't marry Danielle Steele books, though. I don't love them.

(OMG, in making this confession, I glanced up to look at my Tool Man sitting here next to me - the one who is reaching around the screen and pretending to type on my computer keyboard and saying, "They'll think you're drunk! They'll think you're drunk at 9 a.m., and wonder what it is you're talking about!" - to which I responded, "I think they may think that already, and if I were drunk and typing this, I'd be telling them I loved them and wondering if they wanted to sleep with me and bending over so they could see my assets." - and I realized "OMG! I'm already married to a book!")

Anyway, I don't make enough to put up with attitude. I've got enough of my own, thanks. Minimum wage buys you a ton. So to the lady who called me stupid yesterday? Thanks. I planned to give you excellent customer service after you asked me a question and I told you we didn't have the product you were desiring. I didn't even roll my eyes secretly when you rephrased your question and thought you could trick me into changing my answer. I'm above such antics.

Until I get called "stupid." Then I am done. Thanks for giving me your bad day. Thanks for stooping to name calling for no reason.Thanks for showing your kids how to treat people. It makes cashing my tiny little check every Friday so rewarding.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

OK.

This is the best I have today, People I'd Sleep With If I Was Drunk. Please don't secretly roll your eyes at me behind my back. Now I'm off for a bit to enjoy a few hours with my husband before he leaves for the next five days, have Chinese for lunch (a little extra in that paltry paycheck last week! Woo hoo!), and prep for an early out play date this afternoon. This involves making cupcakes in case you were wanting to come over, too. If you bring drinks, I may show you the finger quotes - cupcakes - finger quotes.

Sure.

Now, show me the love.

Just don't call me stupid!