things I learned this week...

• The world is populated by one or two truly fickle people.
• Rather than making me organized, five years at home with my children has wiped out all ability I have to accomplish 12 things at once.
• Fifth grade math is already harder than a full year of fourth grade math.
• I feel no shame in admitting how pathetic I am at math.
• My age drops by 15 years the instant I'm reunited with college friends. You can almost see it happening.
• Finding a way to laugh as hard as I did with my college friends this past weekend is a goal I need to achieve regularly.
• Telling people to "bugger off" or asking to get a gander at the husband's "meat and two veg" would sound so much more cool with an English accent.
• I'm obsessed with having an English accent this week. I can pull off a reasonably tame drawl, but only if I say words like "river" and "bar".
• I can be quite seductive, but I can't figure out a way to transform "river" or "bar" into a phrase that make a bloke want to faff me.
• Contrary to popular belief, I don't need a variety of blokes to faff me to be happy. I'm no slag.
• People who think with their dicks have a tendency to actually be dicks.
• I'm horrifically impatient these days. The package I'm waiting for from Amazon is both the reason and the remedy for this matter.
• I'm surrounded by books every day and yet can't catch a break to read one of my own.
• It feels like a weight has been lifted off me this week. This is inexplicably good.
• The universe brings you friends you didn't even realize you needed and now know you couldn't do without.
• I want an English accent so badly I even typed this entry thinking in an English accent.

Now it's your turn to witter. Tell me a few things you learned this week in the comments below, then together we can pool this brain trust together and take over the world. Or at least a small section of the Midwest. We should start small, after all. Not appear too greedy.