things I learned this week...
- The world is populated by one or two truly fickle people.
- Rather than making me organized, five years at home with my children has wiped out all ability I have to accomplish 12 things at once.
- Fifth grade math is already harder than a full year of fourth grade math.
- I feel no shame in admitting how pathetic I am at math.
- My age drops by 15 years the instant I'm reunited with college friends. You can almost see it happening.
- Finding a way to laugh as hard as I did with my college friends this past weekend is a goal I need to achieve regularly.
- Telling people to "bugger off" or asking to get a gander at the husband's "meat and two veg" would sound so much more cool with an English accent.
- I'm obsessed with having an English accent this week. I can pull off a reasonably tame drawl, but only if I say words like "river" and "bar".
- I can be quite seductive, but I can't figure out a way to transform "river" or "bar" into a phrase that make a bloke want to faff me.
- Contrary to popular belief, I don't need a variety of blokes to faff me to be happy. I'm no slag.
- People who think with their dicks have a tendency to actually be dicks.
- I'm horrifically impatient these days. The package I'm waiting for from Amazon is both the reason and the remedy for this matter.
- I'm surrounded by books every day and yet can't catch a break to read one of my own.
- It feels like a weight has been lifted off me this week. This is inexplicably good.
- The universe brings you friends you didn't even realize you needed and now know you couldn't do without.
- I want an English accent so badly I even typed this entry thinking in an English accent.
Now it's your turn to witter. Tell me a few things you learned this week in the comments below, then together we can pool this brain trust together and take over the world. Or at least a small section of the Midwest. We should start small, after all. Not appear too greedy.
Labels: so not kidding about the population of the world; interesting that they're most often dick thinkers, too
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 12:30 AM
15 Comments:
Hmmmmm, what did I learn?
I learned that pictures speak volumes.
I also learned that I am the least organized person on the planet.
jhfpw
I've learned that it doesn't matter if its allergies or a cold. Not being able to breath because you're so congested, while at the same time running down the block to clean up the pooling snot from your nose is just as ANNOYING as it is baffling!
I've also learned that vacationing with a 9 year old girl (who thinks she's at least 19) can be very very taxing on one's nerves.
I've learned (again) that no matter what I do to meet another person's goals for me, that person will still not be satisfied.
My kids think I'm dumber than a pet rock.
My dog is the only one in my house who truely truely loves me unconditionally every single day of the week.
Harsh lessons for me this week. I guess the Universe is trying to tell me something, lets see if I'm smart enough to figure it out.
Stacie
Oh, geez; I gotta be learning stuff?
Ummm, lessee. . . Just because your grown kid is making a hash of their life, doesn't mean it's your fault. How's that? And, a sufficiently large (ie, bigger than 'human scale') employer really has trouble distinguishing between the concepts of 'employment' and 'slavery'.
OK, now can I lighten up for a minute?
See, I share your Anglophile proclivities (altho with a strong component of 'Aussie-philia' thrown into the mix). I love the way the Aussies say 'sweet bugger all' to mean 'not a damn thing'. Or the way the Brits say 'snogging' for 'cuddling'.
And, I'm guessing that the package you're waiting for from Amazon might not be a book. . . Am I right?
Additional things I learned this week:
A part of my heart breaks every time I watch my sons walk to the corner to catch the school bus.
Never again give up that part of myself which is only to be used by another.
Working days again is, um, boring.
Contrary to what my pretend husband and his bandmates say, bitter pills do not taste so sweet.
When I *think* in an English accent, words like "river" and "bar" just pretty much sound like my normal voice.
This week I have learned that I am SO OVER working for a living.
Please send money. Thank you.
Wait just one minute. Did you say you ordered a package from Amazon? I thought we weren't allowed to say the A-word around here.
okay so my next class is math-thanks for the headsup on who NOT to call.
Oh yeah, I also learned that 15 plus years of service to one employer apparently doesnt mean squat if you're out on disability while recovering from cancer. I got "terminated". Screw 'em. I can do better.
I have to smile because Cam told me yesterday that 5th grade is going to be a real challenge for him this year :) And my best friend and I still talk with the really bad english accent. I always wanted one too and she is the only person I feel comfortable practicing it on. Southern drawl meets terrible english accent...
I learned that you can buy all sorts of drugs that were previously "only available by prescription", but when you need cold medicine you can't get squat..
I learned that you shouldn't talk about "opening up" your marriage, sexually, at Six Flags within earshot of elderly people. They may choke on their funnel cakes.
I learned that "rush hour" is EVERY HOUR in Chicago.
I learned that I HATE the Ford Edge and maybe my minivan isn't so bad after all.
My husband lived in England for 10 years, so we live with Britticisms around here. My accent has gotten pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. A bit of milk in your tea, dear?
I've had some trouble with Amazon lately. I hate it when I have to order from someone that Amazon is fronting. There seems to be lots of issues with the hand offs lately.
Cheerio!
My personal lesson that I learned, is I can get over the fear of asking my mother in law for some advice in weight issues. And playing football in the front yard, with my boys.
S.R.
Nan - Ah yes. I, too, have learned a lot from pictures this week. Because heaven forbid words actually get spoken. Too scary!
Hey! At least we can accomplish one thing from the things we've mutually learned. There's hope for our organizational habits! The other thing? Well past the point of hope, sweets! C'est la vie...
Terry - Actually having to run down the block to clean up after your nose?! That is a pretty harsh lesson, my friend!
Stacie - I quite think you've earned a doctorate degree in harsh lessons this week, dear! Hopefully you've also learned not to try so hard to meet another person's goals for you and just stick with your own, because I think you have some goals in mind that truly rock! Don't let the crap drag you down.
That last part, btw, is something else I learned this week. Insightful few days for me!
Desmond - Another thing you've learned this week apparently is how to read between my little lines, mister! That package from Amazon most definitely doesn't include books, and by now, if you've read above, you know that and I'm not telling you anything new and you can so go "Ha! I *knew* that already, smarty girl!"
But say it in an Aussie accent, won't you?
FADKOG - God, I think you're probably the smartest you've ever been this week! Pity you didn't learn your lessons in greater detail a few months ago, eh, me lassie? You should be chuffed to bits!
Cat - Oh, after a week on the day shift at the store, I've well learned this lesson, too. Unfortunately, I have no money to send. I was kinda hoping someone out here would take pity on me!
Kelly - Ok, you busted me! So let's just say if we're discussing books, the rule is no mentioning of Amazon or competitor stores, ok? But goodness, Amazon sure does ship out many, many fine things that have nothing to do with reading. That is what I'm anticipating greatly now!
KimmyK - If you wish to have someone to cry and complain about math with, you could call me for that. If you only need to know basic math skills, I could sorta pull that off. Or, you know, you could just call me. I'm a pretty pleasant person on the phone!
Terry - Goodness! Ok, you have also earned a doctorate degree this week in all the things you've learned. This trumps out of control noses and vacationing with nine year olds.
Cat - My best friend growing up and I used to go shopping and use our British accents with the staff we'd encounter. And, ok, maybe I think about still doing it today. I always saw it then as pushing me toward my ultimate goal of marrying anyone in Duran Duran other than Andy Taylor. Maybe I still see it as such today!
Rug's - That lesson sucks! Well I know it, and am bracing for it again!
Bunny - When I was in Chicago, I learned that walking at any point in the day seemed scary and that there was no way I was ever going to drive there!
I've also learned to cue into other's conversations more clearly, too! My, such interesting things must happen out there!
And, why yes, I would like a bit of milk in me tea, dear. I think that would be the dog's bollocks!
CCD - Hey! You're still out there! Good to see you around again! Thanks for the heads up on the Amazon thing. I'm hoping the confirmation and shipment emails I've received bode well for me.
Summer Rose - Those lessons rock. I know they're not easy, too, so they rock even more when they fall into place.
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