...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

rolling numbers, rock & rolling, got my KISS records out

There are a few reasons why I'd want to be a celebrity:
  • One - The opportunity to nest myself into Bono's inner circle. Believe me. I can do the whole compassionate and caring thing. You want me to wear a red tshirt and hobnob? I'll drape myself in them, Mr. Hewson. I believe!

  • Second - My signature already has the making of a great autograph. I sometimes practice it while on the telephone. Sometimes I'm "Mrs. Hewson." Why? Because I'm a 14 year old girl.

  • Finally - I want to make it my hobby to attend award shows. Any award show, from the Oscars to the stuntman awards or whatever knock off thing there is going on. Not because of the opportunity to wear couture fashion and drip diamonds, though. Nope.

I want to be a celebrity for the free swag. Seriously. Who other than a celebrity with their multi-million dollar film contracts and such actually needs another 80 GB iPod, week long spa retreats, $2,500 sunglasses and designer shoes?

Me, that's who.

So I have to admit it was with a bit of intrigue that I opened my email Monday to an invitation from a reputable adult toy and novelty company to review products for their website. How do I know it's reputable? I do things on the web other than browse your blogs, my pumpkins. In fact, I'd spent a pretty big chuck of Sunday on said company's site.

Because sure, God would've wanted me to.

While I'm not certain how I cropped up on their radar, anyone browsing my site would learn I've a fondness for my small cache of toys. Cripes, my beloved dolphin and bullets could very well be co-authors here (however, they are on brief holiday after this morning). My fondness for my bedside beauties is so great that you might be inclined to taunt "If you love them so much, why don't you marry 'em?" But than that would make me think of these as "marital aids," and while they can be and have been, thinking of them as such would then make me think of my parents (shudder) and my enthusiasm for these vibrating and bouncy toys actually wains.

But just for a bit. Because seriously, I do love them. Like a fat kid loves cake. With pink frosting.

Give me a moment...


So my question is this. If you got such an invitation, coupled with an addendum about being paid a small fee for your opinions, and were told your mail would begin to contain discreetly packaged boxes filled with tingling treasures (Heh...I'm leaving that last part in. Because I may actually be a 14 year old boy instead!), would you accept? If it only involved taking something and using it for an activity you already do, would you yell out, "Oh God! Yes! Yes!"

(btw, my 14 year old boy self? Name is Spencer. My friends just call me Spence. Or "D-Spence" 'cause I'm always busting out with the killer sex references)

I have to admit, there's a part of me that wants to give it a whirl.

A really big part that resides comfortably below my neck, at least.

But here's a little conundrum. Say you have a spouse who may or may not know about your blog and who may or may not read it, but has definitely never said anything about it to you. Would you tell them you'd gotten an offer like this, or just make it appear as if you had a running tab at the neighborhood "lingerie shop" (which is what they're called in the suburbs so they can be right outside your backyard)?

I'm leaning toward inquiring deeper (what up, D-Spence!).

Not just because I like to say "swag" and have an inquiring mind, but because I've had my eye on an item that would actually allow me to achieve something just a little deeper.

Or, I'm just a sucker. But good girls like me and my 14 year old self don't talk about that on the internet!

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Blogger Nanette said...


Perhaps you should just tell it like it is to the spousal unit... :D


Wednesday, May 23, 2007 1:35:00 AM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

Would I? No...but only because I am not yet that evolved. Maybe someday...
As for the spouse thing...I told mine, in fact I actaully started my blog FOR him while he was on deployment..since he got back,he never reads. It seems for me the best way to ensure the freedom and privacy I have to say anything I do was to tell him I have it...I don't think he wants to know how my mind works. Somedays, thats' ok by me.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 6:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have no comment other than I feel so privileged to have you in my blogroll and to be in yours (which i am pretty sure I would be if you had one, I would right? Oh crap is my insecurity showing again?) This is a better brush with greatness than when I bumped into Mare Winningham at In N Out Burger.

jsfdp (the earth didn't move)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 9:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the hell - why don't I get these invites? huh?

I'd totally be into that.


tell the hub and then tell the company _ hell Yeah _

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 9:52:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Are guys allowed to answer this question? Because I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable. And insecure, actually.

I hate to be shown up by a dolphin. Stupid dolphins.

So would your reviews be on THEIR website, or your own? Seems strange they'd pay you unless they were expecting a bit of marketing on your site. I get emails from "adult" sites on occasion asking for some linky linkage, ads, that type of thing, but you probably know that's not really my thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, you've got me hungry for cake.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 2:17:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Um you arent a celebrity already???
and there you go again with the music thing again.. i swear we'd have to have seperate ipods.... as a matter of fact i wouldn't even have an ipod.. i'd stick with a regular mp3 player....

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 4:36:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nanette - I love the enthusiasm from the gallery!

Stacie - My evolution was slow, but seriously well worth the build up!

I'm pretty sure my husband also doesn't want to know how my mind works. Well, he knows, but he simply doesn't know how to react!

Finished - Seriously!? Mare Winningham!? "St. Elmo Fire's" Wendy Beamish!! And I quote: "Oh well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me, but he did offer me a Chrysler Lebaron convertible if I get engaged to Howie."

I think that's better than the time I accosted Peter Tork at a baseball game.

Lady C - Oh, I say hold steady. These kinds of emails tend to crop around!

FTN - Ah, don't be a dolphin' hater. They are amongst God's gentlest creatures. Especially those that fall well below the scale reality!

I'm sure there would have to be reciprical things on this page, and honestly, I'm pretty sure that's not my thing. That's why I'm looking at this purely hypothetically at this point. While eating cake.

Because seriously, I love some cake.

Savage - Wha?! You're telling me you can't tolerate a little Cheap Trick "Surrender"? I tell you what, with 1,700 tracks and counting, eventually I'll get to something you can appreciate.

And honestly, I'm barely a celebrity in my own mind!

Thursday, May 24, 2007 8:42:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Surrender is fine... great as a matter of fact.. I love cheap trick.. my ex is a cheap trick.. it's great.. it's the U2 reference above... (shudder)

Thursday, May 24, 2007 5:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Surrender is a top notch tune to say the least, always loved those boys.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 2:22:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Savage - Ah! How can you go and try to disarm my U2 love, eh? Especially when I can *totally* give it up for cheap tricks!

Nocturnal - Minus "The Flame," I could be all over Cheap Trick. I almost requested this song of you awhile back.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 12:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One must love KISS, I was one of those teens with giant sized posters on all walls.

Well done.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 3:37:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nocturnal - Wow! Two visits to the same post? You must be delusional from lack of sleep!

I was one of those moderate KISS fans. I can, however, bust out some serious KISS make-up jobs. A friend and I used to make up the neighborhood kids who were more into them then us.

Although now, having been sucked into "Gene Simmons' Family Jewels," I've lost a little mystique for "The Demon." Now I just want him to be my dad.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 8:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rolling numbers, rock & rolling, got my KISS records out
what does rolling numnbers mean ? is it roilling dice ?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007 7:00:00 AM  

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