the shortest post i've ever given you. in bed!
Me: "Heh, heh, heh... Look, honey! My fortune says 'Our first and last love is self-love.' Heh, heh, heh."
Tool Man: "True dat!"
Me: "Heh, heh, heh, this is so hilari...WAIT! Did you just say 'True dat'?"
Tool Man: "Fo sho!"
Me: "Oh, you're so going to be self-loving yourself for awhile for that."
Tool Man: "I think you mean, 'Fo dat!'"
Me: "Watch me eat this egg roll now and weep for what you'll be missing..."
p.s. - Can I just say that I LOVE how the fortune builds suspense with the ellipses?! Like it knows, it just KNOWS, that the recipient is going to go for the clear and present double entendre. Seth, my inner-14 year old boy (perhaps you've heard me talk about him, yeah?) totally choked on the half of my fortune cookie I shared with him when we saw this, and before he could even say it, I was all, "I KNOW!! This is fantastic, isn't it?!"
Labels: confucious say 'sucks to be you'
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 9:30 AM
42 Comments:
This makes me want to write fortunes.
Our first love and last love will always be... Bono.
I love Seth.
What am I supposed to do with the rest of my day now with this short post? I normally reserve at least an hour for you. (wink)
This is too funny.
Whatchu mean 'our', Mr. Fortune-cookie-fortune-writer-man?
Speak for yerself, I say. . .
;)
I hate it when a fortune isn't a fortune, but instead some kind of half-assed philosophy. It always makes me feel ripped off. I want to know the future, cookie! Deliver!
That is just awesome. My inner 14 year old is totally cracking up!
I'm with Two Busy!
Oh how I love that!
I received my perfect fortune a few months back. It's right here by my computer.
One side says: "Your meaning of love is special. Why not share it."
(Seth interjects: In bed! Fo' shizzle!)
The back side teaches you a phrase in Chinese: jie-ke or "Quench one's thirst."
Who knew almond paste bakers knew me so well.
I knew Seth had to weigh in on this one. How could he not?!?!
What's your husband been watching Tool Academy? You need to seriously take the remote from him!
I don't think Lost is on tonight, but next week we need to start sitting down again and watching because I haven't been watching...I keep forgetting or catching up after the fact. I know I suck. I need a date night to keep me on track!
Dang. I hate it when I can't think of anything to say.
Pretend there's a witty comment here.
Seth meet Roger, you have similar sense of humour, you will get along great.
Why is my word verification toeless?
Just out of curiosity, does Seth sport a mullet?
Whoa (I say with all the emoting of Keanu), I can actually get to your blog today. For a few moments, at least... Get it while it's hot! Now I've got to go comment on your last 5 entries!
I kind of figured you'd really go for a guy that talks all gangsta. Fo sho.
It's probably lost something in the translation. I wonder if there are any Chinese smiley characters?
Seth eats half your food? Little swine!
the writer of this particular fortune must have been a 14 year old boy with internet porn....
Awwwwwesome! heh heh!
And it's also funny that we both told our husbands to go love themselves this week.
It's sex with someone you love, right?
I really need to give my inner 14 year old a name. He and Seth would get along so well.
This post is so short and sweet. If it weren't for the Seth reference I would almost think someone else wrote it. ;)
This reminds me of those fake fortunes that people use as pranks. Are you sure Tool Man didn't slide that into your cookie when you weren't looking?
I save my fortune's from the fortune cookies in my wallet....
Oh Yeah I so "In Bed" each and everyone....
Let me ask this. Do the calories count when Seth eats them??
classic, I love it! This fortune was written for you, baby...in bed!
I love Seth. He's such a troublemaker.
Seth is hawt. Plain and simple. In Utah, we are quite conservative. Instead of "in bed" we prefer to say "with your fellow man". Sometimes our fortunes are even nastier.
Thanks again for checkng in today. You inspired me to get off my duff and post already. Thank you so much.
I wonder if this fortune has anything to do with Anissa's "party". It's like it was meant to be.
I suppose if you want something done right (over and over again...)
Love that fortune...in bed!
T.
Thats really the truth. I mean, when we first discover sexuality, our hand is the only partner and I think that is often how life ends for many people.
I think seth is my kind of guy- since I've got a 14 year-old in me, too.
Makes it easy to get along with my kids, though, so not a bad thing!
Too funny!
Now I'm craving chinese food at 9:00 in the morning, and this can't end well.
Now I know why you are not a Twilight lover- it is ALL Seth's FAULT!!!
There is nothing hotter than some self-love and a little egg roll porn.
You so gangsta in da midwest, girl!
Seth has made my day.
John's fortune said something about YOU AND YOUR WIFE WILL BE HAPPY ALWAYS. I made him put it in his wallet to keep it!!
Hallie
Betsey - Amen, sweetie. Amen.
Stiletto Mom - HA! Oh, was that a burn?! HAHA. Honey, I need a week to write these epics! ;)
Michele - It's why I love Chinese food so damn much!
Des - We all gotta start somewhere! ;)
TwoBusy - I really must agree with you, although I'll confess that I still have the fortune I got a couple years ago that simply said, "You are pretty." Ah, so sweet, fortune cookie!
Dana's Brain - Fortune cookies really are kind of just written for our inner 14 year olds, I think.
Under the Influence - I can't say I blame you. That dude is pretty dang smart!
Meg - This is one I'm keeping forever!
Always Home - It's like fortune writers were following you around to make sure you got that awesome slip of paper. Kind of like I would. Wait. What? Did I say that outloud... ;)
kimmy - I MISS OUR WEDNESDAYS!! I have five or six more weeks of my class on Wednesdays. Where does that put us in the season, I wonder? I hope you're catching up. It's a great (confusing!) season. Seth may need to chime in and help me out!
Heather - Any comment is a good comment!! :)
motherbumper - Seth says, 'S'up, Roger!" and then mumbled something about maybe the two of them going to the mall to scam on chicks.
Chas - Oh, I talked him out of the mullet. He's got hair that hangs in his eyes, tough!
ftn - Is here a good place to tell you I got all super giddy when I saw all your comments in my inbox? Oh, yeah, baby...THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Brian - I think our smiley faces are universal. What a pity the cheery emoticon can't help us foster global peace.
Chris - In this case, I shared, but I hate with the dude grubs on my crag rangoon. I don't know wher his hands have been!
Swirl Girl - If such be the criteria for this job, I really should look into it.... ;)
Bee - HAHA! We did, didn't we? Maybe it has something to do with their sci-fi mumbo jumbo rubbing off on us (oh, ha, or something like that!)
Aunt Becky - Damn straight! Hell, I write myself love letters. :)
Kat - When you give it a name, you really give it free reign to unleash upon the world. You must decide if that's safe or not! :)
kaila - I know, right?! I come and look at it and wonder if I should make it longer!
Cocotte - You've given me something to investigate now... ;)
Savage - As fate would have it, all my favorite fortunes are also tucked for safekeeping in my wallet, which is not, however, in bed.
HoodChick - I tell myself they don't. Especially when he's grubbed on my crab rangoon.
Petra - There's a big, big part of me that wants to frame it, it was SO written for me!
Mary Ellen - It's a darn good thing Seth is hanging around with the adult version of me, to be sure.
steenky bee - I have missed you every day since your last post, and I'm so glad you have come out to be among your fellow man!
Sammanthia - If such is the case, even if I had to divulge my secret, it was definitely worth it! ;)
T - Ha! Good point, and so very true... ;)
Shonda - The hand that rocks the, well, rocks what it wants to rock is good by me!
Sailor - I'm almost afraid Seth may bail when he knows I have to start dealing with an actual 14 year old, and then I'm in trouble!
Melissa - You know what they say...you could have that Chinese food at 9 a.m., because you're just going to be hungry again by noon. Or something like that!
Christina Lee - Ha! You might actually have that figured out! Seth is jealous of Edward! :)
bejewell - Say what you will, but I'd roll around in both of those options!
Scandalous Housewife - I like to keep it real, take it to the roots, and roll dirty in the Midwest!
That Girl - That is at the core of Seth's goals in life! :)
WWoW - I would make him frame that and hang it where he could see it every day!
And I love the smiley faces to let us know that this is good news!
Marinka - The only thing that would make it better is if there were a little 'thumbs up' symbol right beside it!
mmm to the hmmmm!
MereCat - Word! and Amen!
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