pretend this is a prince song as I break my weekend down for you by the numbers
- 1 - Hour (rounded up from 52 minutes) I worked last Thursday before management sent me home thanks to my never-ending zombie virus.
- 5 - Total hours worked last week thanks to never-ending zombie virus.
- 28 - Estimated amount in dollars my paycheck for last week will be. You know what I could buy with that much money? More pointless Sudafed and cough syrup.
- 18 - Continuous hours spent glued to the same spot on my couch Friday. Seriously. You know that episode of Nip/Tuck when Christian and Sean had to surgically remove a woman from her sofa? I felt like I was one Hostess 100 Calorie pack away from being that woman on Friday. Also, am I the only person still watching Nip/Tuck?
- 3 - Times Friday when I thought about actually getting up off the couch for a Hostess 100 Calorie cupcake pack, but honestly, the even split in energy it would have taken to get up off the couch versus popping the three tiny crumbs of cake into my mouth cancelled each other out.
- 350 - Tissues used in the last week and a half.
- 90 - Ounces of Diet Mountain Dew consumed between the beginning of the day Saturday to this point on Sunday evening, which, in all honesty, should be illegal and at the very least deemed an incredibly poor idea when you consider the little incontinence issue still at play with this never-ending zombie virus.
- 2 - Basketball games I attended Saturday.
- 8 - Points my oldest son scored during his basketball game.
- 5 - Times I turned to my Tool Man and pondered how it is our son seems to know everything he needs to do before he even needs to do it when he's playing basketball, and yet I must remind him every day to change his underwear. Every day, people!
- 2 - Pairs of my oldest son's underwear I washed and folded today, which constitutes the number of pairs he's worn since last Sunday. Awesome. Oddly, I washed 3 pair of his socks.
- 6.37 - Amount in dollars my math shows is more than what the bank indicates should be in our checking account at this time.
- 0 - credit card bills I'm able to pay this month based on present standing of said check register, so my sincerest apologies Discover, Visa and MasterCard.
- 12 - Roses that arrived at my front door Friday thanks to my Tool Man and the fine men at DadCentric. You really helped my Valentine dodge a bullet this year, boys.
- 12 - Hours spent watching this season's episodes of 24, enabling me to be caught up with this show for the first time ever in my long and fantastical history with Jack Bauer. Additionally, I spent 5 hours watching recent episodes of the new 90210, for which I can only ask myself why?
- 1 - Naps taken. Alas, this nap was far too brief, achieved while sitting upright on previously mentioned couch, and punctuated by random thoughts of being too cold and disturbed by voices emanating from BBC America programming I was too weak (lazy) to turn off by exerting approximately 0 pounds of pressure on the remote control.
- 4 - Slices of toast eaten for dinner Sunday night. Four!? Four slices of toast?! Do you really need four slices of toast?! Excuse me for one second, won't you? "Mom, seriously, go away." OK. That's better. Sorry about that. The real reason I had four slices of toast for dinner is because toast is pretty much all I can handle without gagging thanks to the (say it with me!) never-ending zombie virus.
- 19 - Times I've watched this clip of the Jonas Brothers on SNL since it aired last night. My love for Joe remains strong.
- 1/2 - seconds it took for my Tool Man to be snoring as soon as his head hit the pillow Saturday night (aka - Valentine's Day, thank you very much). The fact that I presently gag on everything other than toast that I attempt to eat at this time may or may not be the reason behind this matter...
- Infinity - Times I've watched the following clip since following the link from @rainnwilson's Twitter page last Thursday:
- 0 - Actual blog topic ideas I have at this time and/or the amount of time I'm going to keep you all here reading this particular post.
Labels: i would blog 4 u
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 11:10 PM
51 Comments:
First? FIRST???? Oh hell yes I am!!!! Off to read...
If I were you I would send whatever network that airs 90210 a strongly worded letter because seriously, that's 5 hours that you can never get back. 5 hours that you could have spent napping.
I am not sick and have watched Kittens like eleventymillion times. Also, hats off to you for the forest you have killed while blowing your nose. I feel like I am coming down with the same zombie virus and now have to travel to Atlanta for sales calls for three days...good times.
Feel better...xoxo
my valentine's day was just about as exciting as yours - without the zombie virus. who's was better?
Honestly, where DOES all that snot come from? I spend a small fortune on tissues every time I get a cold. Lotion tissues are essential.
Hope your zombie virus moves on soon.
Are you trying to discreetly say that since your husband knew he wasn't gonna be gettin any Valentine's BJ'S he just went to sleep?
I need this stuff spelled out for me.
Just beware - boys tend asymptotically to perma-ware instead of underware. Left unchecked, it will soon be one pair this week and then none for the next 11 weeks or until they get a girl friend that insists on clean underware. {*grin*}
As another DadCentric winner, I can second the saving of the holiday.
that was GREAT!! The number of pair of underwear you washed? classic........
Sorry you still aren't 100%, FADKOG. We Brits have hardy dispositions owing to the food, which has toughened our immune systems to the point where only radiation has an effect.
Only kidding. Hope you're over it soon.
If you buy the generic Sudafed, you might have enough left over for a week's supply of toast.
I'm thinking I have that same virus. I've been living off peanut butter toast-but if I had Hostess 100 calorie packs in the house, I would soo have my minions bring them to me, so as to negate the expenditure of said calories.
Hey, 3.5 days/pair equals a pretty reasonable underwear ratio for guys.
Just sayin'.
Totally understand the underwear thing. My 9 yr. old always says "but I just changed them yesterday. Remember that time I wore the same pair for 9 days?"
Toast is always my ultimate comfort food. I love it with a little butter and honey. Eat it with some honey, it's very restorative. =)
I've had the zombie virus since Thursday night, so now I can empathize with you.
I had to quit watching Nip/Tuck since it's on at the same time as the Real Housewives of Orange County. I'm trying to learn how to be the hottest housewife of my own county, so Christian will have to go on porking his lesbian co-worker without me!
Clean underwear and socks (for kids) are overrated.
Hope you feel better.
How is that spot just below your nose coming along?
Aw, man. . . you can't even eat the Tool Man? That's just cruel. . .
And yer boy reminds me of the summer camp I volunteer at every year. On the Friday night counselors' meeting, we always remind the boys' counselors to make sure their boys shower and change their underwear before mom and dad pick 'em up (somehow, that's never an issue for the girls. . .)
o.m.g. kittens! *dies giggling* I love it!!
I'm really sorry about your zombie virus .. it's probably because of the imminent zombie infestation that is taking over the world, starting in Austin (which I blogged about today before ever reading your post .. which i find kinda hysterical ... yeah, i'm easily amused.)
hope you're feeling better soon!
Good work, Tool Man, regardless of the rose sending sponsorship/ inspiration.
New 90210 = I don't even acknowledge its existence. It's old West Bev reruns on Soap Net for me, or none at all. Hmmph.
Nip/Tuck is wholly addictive, but it gives me the heebie jeebies and nightmares. Really. Otherwise, I'd watch obsessively.
Oh, and RAINN WILSON is on Twitter? Think it's the real one? No matter - I'm off to add him right this very second. Yay!
giiiiiiiiiirl, you did great! And re: Mountain Dew? I watched the special on Appalachia this weekend and they said all their teeth were rotten from Mountain Dew and I stared at my fourth Red Bull of the day and frantically checked my teeth for the rest of the night. And Dwight Schrute DMed me on Twitter, and wait! This isn't my blog! Never mind, love you honey!
That makes an awesome Prince song. Hope the zombie virus departs for someone else soon! (Preferably someone not in your household)
Didn't the Jonas Brothers butcher some Stevie Wonder song at some award show recently? I think I saw a clip of one of them forgetting the words during a duet with him. Poor Stevie, being subjected to that.
Hope you are feeling better. And that you got the huge, immense, fantastically expensive Valentine's Day gift I sent you.
I keep Kleenex in business and I am rarely sick.
You need the slanket.
For reals.
Oh my God the kitten video wiped out any other comments I may have wanted to type in here. DYING LAUGHING.
Sorry you're still sick. That's awful. Hope you're feeling better soon.
I love me some Jack Bauer too(but really I love me some Tony Almeida).
Good luck - I hope you feel better soon and congrats on the blogtations trophy - that gotta make you feel better.
No to the Nip/Tuck. Never liked the show. But glad it gave you something to do instead of dwelling on how miserable and awful you feel.
That kitten video was awesome! My youngest ran into the room to see what was going on. And never ending zombie virus? Magic.
Oh, man. Feel your pain.
Had the zombie virus for a good week, but I am STILL hoarse and raspy as Bonnie Tyler -- and I need a hero just as bad.
Very cute video. Get well soon.
I think you'd feel a lot better if that kitten girl shared her med's with you.
Sudafed is crap, take Mucinex. Or as I like to call it, snot-be-gone.
OK, what's with the brilliance even with the neverending Zombie virus and brain mushifying TV watching?
This whole "I can be funny even when I'm writing about nothing" crap is unfair to people like me who have to scrape and claw our way to producing semi-readable blog posts, dammit.
sorry to hear you're still sick.
i totally use to watch nip/tuck, but haven't in like a year or so. i use to love it too. i should find that again...
love me some jack...could totally watch 12 hours indeed.
get to feelin better. i'll be thinkin aboutcha.
my son has scored one (yes, one) basket this season, so I believe he would happily trade his underwear changing memory for your kid's ability to make the damn ball go through the freakin' hoop. also he has a sad and stinky tendency to rush inside about 30 seconds too late, clutching his behind, racing for his bathroom, and necessitating that I wash that particular load of clothes TWICE. thanks, Zac!
also, am I the only mom making sure my boy wears boxer briefs so when he grows up (years, decades, centuries, and quite possibly a few millenia from now) there will be no females making fun of his tighty whities?
damn I was afraid of that--I AM the only one.
Got a proposition for you: Our daughter wants to see the Jonas Brothers 3-D concert. We don't. I'm sure you want to see it (Joe Jonas IN GLORIOUS 3-D!!!), but are concerned about being there without kids (I'm assuming your sons wouldn't want to go; I could be wrong).
You take our daughter to the movie/concert. Everyone wins!
Rainn Wilson is the bomb digg.
Or whoever the guy is pretending to be Rainn Wilson and posting "kittens inspired by kittens."
"I have to go potty! Psssssss"
LMFAO
Maybe it's me - but I find it impossible NOT to read an entire list all the way through. Probably related to my OCD. Thank you for making this entertaining. I feel very bitter after reading 100 boring facts about a person I've never met.
By the way - I've been reading your blog for a while and have seen others reference FADKOG and never made the connection. I'm a aharp one...
Okay, any week in which you don't make enough money to cover the medicine you had to buy is a bad week. I'll make you a deal - I'll get over my crud, if you get over your zombie virus. And both of us can stop crossing our legs at any random cough, sneeze or gag...
Kittens? Giggling.
You are amazing ... since you are still alive! You rock.
Hope you feel better soon! Zombie viruses are no fun.
the new 90210 makes me weep. serious tears. it's so bad.
You need to get a job where they won't notice that you've got the zombie virus. McDonald's, perhaps.
Seriously, though, I hope you get over it soon.
I can't think of the right way to word my thoughts on this post. Suffice it so say they involve sympathy, amusement and total fanship. Feel better rock-star girl.
I hear there is an over the counter dream drug called Aleve cold and sinus that works miracles. ;o)
are kitty's overtaking puppies in the cuteness overload factor? what?
but you love nip/tuck and that's why i love you
:)
Feeling your pain sweetness.
Been stuck in my chair since last Thursday.
We should have tried to channel each others pissed offedness, we could have blown up a city. Or at least heated a cup of joe.
It's possible the sudafed isn't working because the pseudoephedrine has been removed. Drug makers were buying/stealing sudafed to use in making ecstasy. Try something stronger? Like codral cold and flu? Or get a prescription. Nobody should suffer a zombie virus any longer than about 5 minutes in my opinion.
I'm finding it harder and harder to watch Nip/Tuck. The whole Christian sleeping with Liz and her now want to be with him was a total shark jump because we know just how plausible the rest of the show is.
And I know science is not backing the zinc thing, but Cold-Eeze always seem to help me. That and a few shots.
I must run to the store for MILK!! and BREAD!! but I'll be back for you soon...
I love the "bow chicka wow wow" part of the kittehs, How does that little girl know that song? Love your posts. Even when your sick. Or especially when you are sick.
Stiletto Mom - Woo HOO!
Sammanthia - The saddest part is I had those five hours of 90210 on my DVR and I watched voluntarily!
Stiletto Mom - Kittens! is truly a cinematic masterpiece!
Swirl Girl - I bet your Valentine's Day was better!
Heather - I've been spoiled by the lotion tissues, thanks to Tool Man.
TattooedMinivanMom - Yeah, that's kind of what I was saying. :)
Dan - The boy/underwear equation is one that will forever vex me.
Vodka Mom - The kid has actually put clean (give away? THEY WERE STILL FOLDED!!) underwear in his hamper to convince me he'd changed through the week!
Chris - I've always believed I should have been born English...
Chas - I now have proof that Twinkies can and do, in fact, start to taste stale. Having to hobble up and get my own made it even worse!
TwoBusy - You are sucking all the hope I have away!
Under the Influence - I hear "But I just took a shower (insert growing number of days ago)!"
Heather - As sweet as I am (ha!), I just have never been a honey person. I counteract it with my massive addiction to strawberry jam!
Cocotte - Based on the zombie virus, watching Nip/Tuck has been the closest I've come to porking in awhile!
Prefers Her Fantasy Life - No wonder boys never get excited at the idea of buying new underwear!
Bogart - Hey..are you taking about my big mouth?!
Des - That's because girls love to be fresh! And we always believe our moms when they talk about the powers of panties and car crashes.
Divine Chaos - I still can't stop watching Kittens! If it were zombie Kittens!, I'd never sleep for watching it all the time.
legallyblondemel - It's totally the real Rainn Wilson, and he is far more awesome than the new 90210!
missbanshee - I swear to you, there are moments I fear what my insides must look like thanks to my Diet Mountain Dew habit.
Dana's Brain - If Prince can make this a hit, it would be fine by me. Dude could use a hit!
ftn - BLASPHEMY!!! (and P.S. - Look for my thank you in your P.O. Box soon!)
Tuesday Girl - I do, indeed, have a slanket, and I love it so much I say it's BETTER than sliced bread.
Blissfully Caffeinated - It's magic, isn't it!?
Christina lee - I'd consider a Jack and Tony tagteam. Only when I was feeling 100 percent, though!
K - Totally makes me feel better, and I'm actually (finally) starting to feel better.
Meg - There are moments when Nip/Tuck makes me sick. Or dirty. Actually, sometimes, it just makes me feel dirty.
bridgeburners - I'm surprised my kids hadn't introduced me to Kittens! first, actually.
Fragrant Liar - My voice, after more than two weeks, is still wrecked. It's quite sexy!
Hood Chick - I was totally rocking a double shot cocktail of the Sudafed AND the Mucinex. I was probably cancelling my efforts out.
San Diego Momma - I blame (or credit) the over-the-counter medicine cocktail for whatever I may have put out. Word-wise. I meant word-wise!
kimmy - 12 hours of Jack was about the only good thing about being as sick as I was. Mmm....Jack...
1blueshi1 - I had to school my husband on the tighty whitey thing. There does, indeed, come a time when you give up the trappings of the past.
Chag - Have her here by Friday and I'll go to as many showings with her as we can fit in. Seriously. I need some legit reason to be there at my age...
Petra - I dare say Rainn might be on my 'I'd hit that' list, he's just that much of the bomb.
Kate - Thanks so much for reading! I hope I don't bore you if I succumb to that 25 Things list that's floating around! :)
Mary Ellen - I've been looking forward to not having to cross my legs when I cough even more than I have to feeling better!
Andrea - I'm holding on by a prayer... :)
Kat - I haven't felt compelled to turn any others into zombies, so I may be on the mend!
Ali - It's SO SO SO bad...
Brian - Spot on, at least based on the clientele of my local McDonald's.
That Girl - You're like my sunshine!
Bee - Next time (though I pray there's not a next time...), I'm willing to try that product.
Papa - Yeah! A fellow Nip/Tucker!
Kelley - I might have been able to muster up enough power to pop some microwave popcorn.
River - Oh, I went totally covert and had to take the little slip for Sudafed up to the pharmacy counter and abscond with the real deal. I should have probably tried actual meth, though, for it would have gotten me to focus on something other than my zombie virus!
Always Home - I was yelling 'shark!' at the TV when they brought that new plastic surgeon into the practice and I was all, "Oh, if that dude is The Carver and this is episode 1 of the season, I. Will. Lose. It!" And I did. But I stick with it, dammit.
Zombie Girl - And now that MILK! and BREAD! is gone already, isn't it? Yep. Neverending battle....
Marla - There's always a little part of me that's a little sick!
Post a Comment
<< Home