...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

i was going to title this post 'it sucked and then i cried' but apparently there's a book out there with that title, so now i'm stumped

About a month ago, my sons and I spent an afternoon at a nearby park, joining a swarm of other children and mothers also out soaking in every drop of sunshine. For nearly two hours, I chased the boys around the playground, and when they went off to play basketball, I staked claim to a shady spot to sit and read. Before long, I found myself counting the number of women pushing baby strollers containing the tiniest of infants while their toddlers played nearby.

I swear my body forcibly released two viable eggs for each baby I counted, and as each ova made its fantastic voyage, each paused just long enough to tap on my uterus and whisper "Tick, tock, mama. Tick tock." Hello, baby lust, my old friend. The only thing preventing this sea of new mothers who surrounded me from scooping up their sweet-scented bundles of bliss and running away from me like a Stephen King horror story was my sunglasses hiding my teary, baby-crazed eyes, which I had to wipe dry in order to spot my sons swimming in the middle of a sea of toddlers. At 7 and 11 years old, they towered over the others like two gangly Gullivers among the Lilliputs! These boys are my babies, and though I'm now contractually prohibited from calling them that, they are forever such. I simply can't imagine not being their mother.

Recently, Tina from Send Chocolate asked me to write a post sharing my five favorite things about being a mother. It's part of an online dialogue launched in by Catherine from Her Bad Mother for moms from around the globe to share their joy. I'm a little late to getting to this, but I still wanted to chime in. Pretend we're just a bunch of moms who brought our kids to the park on a fantastic spring day. If it makes you uncomfortable to see me weeping and perhaps suspiciously asking to hold your infant, feel free to smile at the strange girl in me, but definitely share your thoughts about your favorite thing about being a mom, too (and if you're a dad, I'm sure you're welcome here, too). Here are mine:
  • Every morning, as we walk to the corner for him to catch the school bus, my youngest son reaches up and grabs my hand. He's growing out of his cuddling stage, so the few minutes of hand holding I get five days a week is the best way I can imagine starting my day. It's followed closely by our established routine of humming the theme to Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and the Imperial March from Star Wars on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I've always said this is a kid who needs a soundtrack, and he has chosen wisely.
  • My kids are crazy athletic. My theory is when Tool Man and I worked our magic and the chromosomes split, some kind of crazy super hero action must have taken place inside my uterus where all the bench-warming, looking for clover in the outfield attributes we both brought to the child making game exploded and reformed into these bionic beings we spawned. Half the time, I don't know what they're doing on the court or the field, but they are skilled in ways I'll never be able to duplicate. If this is the technology, we built it, and for that, I look forward to spending a lot of Fridays and Saturdays in school gyms. Yeah team!
  • The conversation is never dull. Here's a sampling of what I've been party to lately. First up, my oldest son - "Mom, what's for supper?" "Grilled chicken, rice, and some green beans." "So, when you say 'chicken,' what exactly do you mean by that?" "What?! What do you mean 'what do I mean by that?'" Later, over his pauper's rations of grilled chicken, rice and some green beans ("I'm still not sure where you're going with this chicken, Mom"), he regaled me with a scientific discourse on dandruff before launching a lengthy dialogue about that "one thing that happened a few days ago or last year, I think...you know, that thing!" Tonight, my youngest son plopped down beside me and asked, "Do Europes talk like Americans?" I was able to answer that one, but even when I can't, it's fun pretending.
  • Speaking of my youngest son, he now only answers to his nickname - Rhino. He's chosen this nickname because rhinoceros are his favorite animal. Additionally, he's given the rest of us animal nicknames. His brother is Panda and Tool Man is Elephant (Rhino says it's because Elephant is the leader and that's why he's an elephant, but I told him to tell Elephant it may be because he ate too much grilled chicken, rice and some green beans the other day - and other, far tastier treats while he's traveling - and he's getting big like an elephant, but Elephant threatened to stampede). Finally, I'm now addressed as Woody, as in woodpecker. As in what?!
  • My boys dig music (except for Jonas Brothers, and to that, I say boo!), and my oldest often comes to me with a list of songs he'd like added to his mp3 player. Sadly, his latest selections include the new Black Eyed Peas' song, Boom Boom Pow (I blame this on Elephant, who brought My Humps into this house and dear heaven how my boys love that song). When they hear Give You Hell on the radio, my youngest edits the track by singing "BEEP!" loudly and passionately in place of 'hell,' and I swear to you, it never gets old. But the best thing about this favorite thing? I just learned my oldest thought Yes' Owner Of A Lonely Heart was sung as loner with a sexy heart, and that cracked me up, but then I was all, "Wait! You help bleep out the 'hells' in that hell song! Do you know what sexy means?" and he just smirks and rolls his eyes at me. Yep. So not my babies anymore.

I've seen this type of post on several blogs, and it's been fun reading posts from around the globe. For my part, I'm going to tag Kat, who writes at 3 Bedroom Bungalow. Kat's a Midwest girl currently living in England, and while that's hella cool in and of itself, she's also got two adorable young daughters who I'd bet have given her some favorite things to share if she wishes. I also hope you'll share some of yours in the comments.

Just beware my uterus...



Anonymous abdpbt said...

It didn't suck and I didn't cry. I love the hand-holding, Mini just started this thing where he comes over to me, grabs my hand, and pulls me to whatever he's playing with. So cute.

But clearly, you haven't had a newborn in your house recently, or you'd not be so quick to try to run off with one from the park.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 12:03:00 AM  
Blogger Drama Queen Jenner said...

My oldest was a clingy one. She sat in my lap all the time up until I got pregnant with her younger sister (when she was 9.) I'm expecting clingy with the two babies, th eprecedent has been set, but the youngest one has this wildly independent streak going that's gonna really get me.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 12:08:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Even with an 11-month-old (sob!) I find myself looking longingly at babies. Good thing I'm contracturally done with making babies.

I loved this. Those things would put a smile on my face too.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 12:35:00 AM  
Blogger blissfully caffeinated said...

Hey, at least your nickname isn't elephant. Rhino actually is a badass nickname. I hope he sticks with it.

I am totally with you on the baby lust. How do yout think I got myself in this condition? Every time I saw a baby or a pregnant woman my uterus was screaming at me.

Very sweet post.


Wednesday, April 22, 2009 12:41:00 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

Thanks for tagging me. I hope I can come up with a list half as good as yours! I love that your son bleeps the hells in "Give You Hell"...that is a lot of bleepin bleepin.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 3:31:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Except for the part about you devolving into a drooling, weeping, baby-swiping homunculus, this was quite charming. Sounds like you and Elephant (and yes, I laughed at how you dropped that in to the last bullet) are doing a very nice job with your young'uns.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 6:39:00 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

I still have one cuddler, but I am guessing it will be coming to an end pretty soon. I feel your pain.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Sammanthia said...

I don't remember the last time Gage or Carter held my and. Sigh.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Sammanthia said...

That should have been *hand* not *and*. Oops.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:35:00 AM  
Blogger Chasity said...

I love conversations with my 7 year old. Just last night we discussed the sheer awesomeness that would be "If I won infinity cheeseburgers from McDonald's AND if cheeseburgers were healthy"

A sea of healthy cheeseburgers is this boys idea of paradise, and perhaps mine now, too.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:58:00 AM  
Blogger lime said...

ok, a moment...your nickname...a display of how truly warped i am.

the boy was about 9 or 10. we were watching a movie where one character called another one a "pecker." the family laughs. the boy does not and asks what pecker means. why is it so funny. i explained it was slang for penis. he laughed, then thought. then said, "so i guess that makes woodpecker a really funny name for a bird." being the twisted individual i am i said yes and doubly so when you consider wood is slang for erection. boy doubled over laughing. husband told me i was inappropriate. what can i say. the boy loves animals and he loves the wonderfulness of word play. i couldn't let it pass. dang it all, i didn't even get a chance to explain alternate meanings for "bird."

but the hand holding thing.....enjoy that as long as it lasts. if movie music makes it last, hum any theme song he wants.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:58:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I agree with the music choices on the walk to school. Not being a parent, all I can say is ... lie ins!

Bliss ...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 8:22:00 AM  
Blogger pipper said...

Oh Thank Goodness! I thought I was the only one suffering from "I want another baby blues" Your post really lifted my spirits this morning. Thanks for sharing!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 8:37:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

My kids love the "Give You Hell" song too. They don't sing along, but I'll bet they'd say "heck" in place of hell, because that's just how they are, despite having me for a mother.

Nice post, Woody.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 8:46:00 AM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

Well. This was bittersweet for me b/c we have only been lucky enough to have one. I was bad off there for awhile around infants but I've gotten much better and really really enjoy my four year old who got me a bouquet of "tulibs" yesterday(his idea apparently)because its my favoite flower. I'll hang on to all the hugs for as long as he'll give 'em!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 9:07:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

I remember the day many years ago when I picked Helena up from her nursery and she told me in the limited number of words she could say about her day. Seeing your child develop a personality of their own is probably the most rewarding thing so far. I probably won't still be saying that when she's a teenager...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 9:15:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Awww, Lime, I am SO MADLY proud of you for laying out for your boy the full crudities of the word 'woodpecker'. I might be wiping a tear from my eye on that one. . . And I'll just say that Molly's maiden name rendered her familiar before her time with much of the same. . .

But really, shouldn't Tool Man be 'Woodpecker'?

And I'm sorry, but when I hear 'Rhino', I just think 'Big Nose'.

And listen, just between the two of us (lean in close, 'cuz I don't wanna scare the others), your bio-clock could have several years left; 46 was not too old for Molly. . . (And just so you know, I did catch the Simon & Garfunkel reference. . .)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Melissa @ I Pick Pretty said...

I love the enactment of the egg-release sequence; I know that feeling exactly, albeit from the not-yet-a-mom side of the fence.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Kathy B! said...

I loved this post. So honest, and so beautifully written. I have four (no longer) babies and there are times I'd give my very heart for another.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love reading about how much mothers love their kids. Those are some pretty fantastic things about your boys!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Aw, Woody, that was sweet enough to bring a tear to my eye! (Wonder what animal MY kid would say I am?!?)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 11:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I work as a nanny for 3 boys...7,10 and 11. Coversations with the two younger ones are super funny. The 7 year old is obsessed with 'twilight' and told me the other day a vampire wouldn't eat him because he is so small about the size of an appetizer. He also knows how hamburgers got their name, all about rocky road and cheetos. Yesterday the 10 year old demanded raisins, carrots and eggs for breakfast to make him smarter...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 11:37:00 AM  
Blogger MereCat said...

Your kids sound fantastic! They're so much fun because their parents are so much fun. Right now, mine have pulled up two chairs side by side and are having a "conversation." Hilarious. It's like they're waiting on the bus or something.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger Sherendipity said...

HATE Boom Boom Pow. No, it has nothing to do with the fact the fergie married Josh Dumel. Nothing.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 12:09:00 PM  
Blogger Badass Geek said...

If there is a soundtrack for a young kid's life, it could be scored no better than by John Williams.

I wonder if "Cantina Band" would be the music of choice for when dining at a restaurant.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 1:09:00 PM  
Blogger Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Honey, I am right there with ya on the baby crazed uterus. ALL my friends are having babies, I am surrounded, and it is really getting that clock going for me.

My favorite part of being a mother is the hugs, kisses and I love you's every day. And watching them learn something new almost every minute of every day. It's mind boggling.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 1:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Bee said...

I'm not a hugger as you may know but ::hug::

My mother had five healthy kids and she keeps saying she should have had more to which my uterus shrinks. But my sister is just like her so I'm thinking I got skipped somehow or am more manly and have a nut sack where my uterus should be? ;o)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 2:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Bee said...

Also I was thinking of you when that thing with my brother happened because of your son's bully. I swear to all that is evil I wanted to howl and then beat people up.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 2:43:00 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

My daughter`s chosen soundtrack is pretty heavy on the Amy Winehouse. As daughter is three, I`m not sure whether this was chosen wisely ;)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 2:46:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Yeah, okay, those are pretty darned cute boys too. I guess I don't have the market cornered. ;)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 4:50:00 PM  
Blogger DKC said...

Although we have committed to being "done" with the child thing, I get a pang now and then. Of course, I had a niece and three nephews born last year and I am expecting three more this year, so there is not shortage of babies in my life. And these are ones I can cuddle and then give back. Which is nice.

One of my favorite parts is the conversations as well. I wish I had a recorder 24/7 around my two.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 6:30:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

We have animal names in our house too. Boy Spawn is Monkey, Girl Spawn is Butterfly. Hotty Hubby often goes by Ass..which I tell the kids is just the other name for Donkey. It's working so far.

Great post! You made me teary. Maybe later this week I'll do something along the same lines.

Thanks for the great read!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:02:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Juicebox said...

My favorite things are when my daughter "does" my hair, and when she teaches me Spanish. She's a teenager, so I'm not the focus of her attention much anymore. That's ok, it's supposed to be that way, but it's kind of sad too.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7:27:00 PM  
Anonymous DCUrbanDad said...

What I love most is just watching this little creature learn and experience everything for the first time.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:23:00 PM  
Blogger Amy W said...

I loved this post! I still have a few years of cuddling left with my 3y.o. but my two big boys are growing up. You totally nailed the cool things about having boys. :) Your boys sound awesome!

Thursday, April 23, 2009 9:50:00 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

While I thought I'd never want another baby again (I kind of OD'd on them by having 3 in 18 months), I find that changing... Now that the twins are two - I don't have "babies" in the house anymore. And when I see women outside walking a newborn in a stroller, I have some serious flashes of nostalgia.

But I really don't want anymore babies full time. I just want to visit those days when I could just sit outside with a book while my newborn happily kicked around on a blanket. Preferably with a box of cookies and not sticky little finger demanding their share.

I have so many favorite things about being a mother (don't we all?) but currently it's when my daughter throws her arms around my neck and says "I YUV you mommy!" Most of the time - I really need it.

Thursday, April 23, 2009 11:09:00 AM  
Blogger jennyonthespot said...

Gol. Girl. Now. *wipes tears*

I hope it's just the Aunt Flo making me a swoled up with tears. Gollygolly.

I know I am "done" with the babies, but then I read your words. Crap. I can't even comment. I don't know I could live through raising another infant-sized human, but I question. Lately I have been so swoony about my kiddos. Slowing down. watching them. Tearing up as I watch my last (the 4 yr old) do all the things only a 4 year old will do. I am excited. I am sad. I am afraid I'll forget.

Really. I can't finish. I am sitting in public here, lady. What have you done to me??? *eggs dropping*

Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:04:00 PM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

your boys crack me up.. I susect they get their awsome genes from their awsome mom!
Woody??? That's funny..

Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:28:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

What do you get when you cross a woodpecker with an elephant?...
O.K. enough with the bad jokes... Your boys are too funny!
I'm done too, but, the boys are all boy now and I have to squint to see the baby in their faces. I have a few friends who have babies, and I get a pang, but, No!
I would happily raise a house full of kids, but pregnancy and newborns? I just couldn't do it again.

Thursday, April 23, 2009 11:57:00 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Did your font get smaller or do I now officially have old lady eyes?

I love your athletic funny kids. And what did you mean by "chicken"?

Friday, April 24, 2009 9:17:00 AM  
Blogger Mariah said...

My kid's are older and they still hold my hand. I hope it never ends. Although I am 38 and still hold my mom's hand. So maybe

Friday, April 24, 2009 11:38:00 AM  
Blogger Phat Mama said...

Loved reading this! The 'not sure where you're going with the chicken' cracked me up!

I plan on doing a post like this as well, thanks for the inspiration. :)

Friday, April 24, 2009 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

My oldest is at that same point...almost out of the cuddly phase. I'll miss the bear hugs in the morning as he runs out the door. *sniff sniff*

Friday, April 24, 2009 2:28:00 PM  
Blogger Evil Twin Sister said...

Oh please do the "Follow" thingy!!! I find you, then lose you, and quite frankly I have too much wine on an almost nightly basis to be coherent enough to keep finding you on a nightly basis! (Confusing, I know, but try to keep up, 'cause I've had a couple of glasses and don't really know how to help you keep up at this point! WShit I'm confused!!!) :-)
Anyway, look at your settings on your dashboard. It's in there somewhere. I just know that when I can see your followers, then I cann click the little button (No, not *that* button!) that lets me follow you just by looking at MY dashboard!

Oh god. It's ttime for bed. A little wild-monkey-sex first, and then to fall blissfully asleep - not to be awakened (what?) before 8am. God I love weekends!

Friday, April 24, 2009 8:16:00 PM  
Blogger Evil Twin Sister said...

Okay, I truly apologize.
Please excuse my previous bullshit rambling.
I looked up at the bar on the top and - lo-and-behold - *there* is the "follow" button!

Yep, I'm an idiot.
But I was having fun!
And then I went to bed and had more than fun! ;-)

Friday, April 24, 2009 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I posted my edition of this...hope you enjoy.

Saturday, April 25, 2009 6:47:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I've always said this is a kid who needs a soundtrack, and he has chosen wisely.
I'm not sure but I think there is reference to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade with the whole, "and he has chosen wisely", part whether or not you meant it...

I am much in lust with you still after all these years....

Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:06:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I really like the fact your youngest edits the curse words out of songs. Can I borrow him? My wife is always yelling at me for failing to turn down the volume at questionable moments.

Sunday, April 26, 2009 11:27:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

I have a feeling I'll be deep in Baby Lust for the rest of my ever-loving life.

Monday, April 27, 2009 1:55:00 PM  
Blogger sparklywizardsleeve said...

La weep, la weep. My 11-year-old girl is still a big cuddler but my 16-year-old son is all freshly minted testosterone which creates an anti-hug zone. He won't watch baby videos of himself because they "makes me love you too much" My daughter loves em. I share your baby lust. I feel my uterus contracting everytime I see one.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 8:49:00 AM  
Blogger How to Party with an Infant said...

Love this post!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 11:02:00 AM  
Anonymous MommyGeekology said...

Great post, Woody. ::wink::

Don't you just love kids? Well, obviously, see reference re: uterus, but yes.

Children are great. And hard. And great.


That cracks me up!

Wednesday, May 06, 2009 1:55:00 PM  

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