...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, September 20, 2010

i didn't get a lot in class

From time to time, you very kind people tell me how awesome I am. It makes me blush and say things like "Thank you, but I think you have me confused with someone actually awesome," and "Gee, shucks!" It also sometimes makes me wonder why no one living outside my laptop seems to see this same level of awesomeness I must have, but that's a story for another day.

I appreciate your kind words. I really do. However, lest you start a campaign to crown me Queen of All That Is Awesome (potential campaign slogan - Awesome! Just like 'Awful,' But With A Little Something Extra!), I feel now is a good time to burst your bubbles. Ready?

I left work this afternoon with a giant smile on my face. It had been a productive day. I'd killed customers with kindness. Hell, I'd even gotten a 25 cent an hour raise! It was the kind of day you'd all probably be jealous of, and I'd say who could blame you, really. You can't buy a day better than the one I had, not even with an extra $1.25 a shift before taxes!

I left work with a spring in my step, got in my mini, and proceeded to drive home. Smiling. Singing. The usual (which is different from the bad day usual which involves driving, scowling, and singing). My good mood rendered me somewhat oblivious to my surroundings, so when I approached a busy intersection as the light was changing from red to green, I was startled by a loud squealing of car tires nearby. The sound was so pronounced, I thought someone in the lane next to me was stupidly showing off or there had been a collision next to me, and so I slammed on my brakes, coming to one of those stops where, had my Mom been driving, she'd have reached her arm across the seat to brace me from impact.

I sat there for several seconds while cars kept whizzing past me and finally the person behind me honked their horn and then changed lanes to race by. It was only then that I realized where the screeching tires had come from.

My iPod.

Remember the one with the awesome songs on it? That one.

Want to know what was playing when I thought the world was crashing around me?

Yep. 'My Prerogative' by Bobby Brown. The four-second (four!) sound effect of squealing tires at the start of the song caused me to think the world around me was ending and nearly caused me to cause an actual accident. I don't need permission. Make my own decisions. That's my stupidity.

Still think I'm awesome? I think the person who zoomed by me flashing her finger was telling me I am, indeed, awesome. In fact, according to her, I'm apparently the number one most awesome person on the planet!

For what it's worth, I place the blame for this mind blip on an injury I incurred over the weekend, one that, oddly enough, also involved driving and my iPod. I was on the way to my church small group gathering last night, appropriately enough singing along to Madonna's absolutely impossible NOT to sing along with (don't click on the link unless you're prepared to belt it out no matter where you are) 'Like A Prayer' (here's where you could say something like "Ha ha ha! Isn't it ironic?" and I'd say, "Don'tcha think?" and also "Don't worry. I've got that one on my iPod, too!"). Like today, all was well, and when 'Like A Prayer' ended, the next song kicked in.

Haddaway's 'What Is Love'.

Oh, yes. You read that right.

(sidebar - Are you like me and gone your entire life without ever seeing the official video for that song? Change that now.)

Do you know what you are obligated to do when you hear that song? If you answered "Fast forward immediately past it and/or throw it on the floor and smash it up into a million tiny pieces and/or steal your iPod and put better music on it when you're not looking," your answer is wrong and you have no soul. Heathens.

The correct answer is you're obligated to bob your head side to side to the beat with a level of enthusiasm that borders on illegal. Or just embarrassing when you're still doing it at the stoplight and you glance over on the downbeat and notice the motorist stopped next to you is watching, which totally happened to me. Of course. But you know what? OH WELL! Because I was feeling it, friends!

And then I was feeling my head slam against the driver's side window after I bobbed a little too voraciously to the left and made the kind of violent impact that would have resulted in tiny bluebirds and stars circling my head if I was in a cartoon world. Talk about your baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more! It appears my head didn't get the request even though I'd asked it t0 more than 10 of the nearly 20 times the song makes you sing it. Thankfully, no other motorists saw me take that punch.

As a result of this event last night, I have a large, tender spot on the side of my head and a pronounced lack of wisdom. Long story short, I probably should start listening to books on tape when I drive. I should also think about tossing that extra $1.25 a shift before taxes into the Queen of All That Is Awesome campaign fund, too.



Blogger SciFi Dad said...

Not that my opinion is worth as astronomical a value as $0.25, but I think doing the head bob thing and getting psyched out by your own iPod proves that you are MADE OF 100% pure awesome.

Heh. That was awesome.

Monday, September 20, 2010 6:53:00 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

ha! Still think you are AWESOME.

Monday, September 20, 2010 8:54:00 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Ha! What a visual! I love the head banging into the window. Priceless!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 1:55:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

You know what is awesome about that? You are ALL about the music...
Lusting you muchly....

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 3:21:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

I have slowed down, thinking that there is an ambulance approaching, while listening to certain songs on the radio that have sirens in them. I believe one of them is a Justin Timberlake song, so maybe I share in your awesomeness??

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 6:17:00 AM  
Blogger Craig said...

Aw, maaaannnnn. . .

Cocotte beat me to my story. . .

And - you bobbed your head voraciously? As in, with a ravenous hunger? Wish I could've seen that. . .

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 8:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait...there are people out there who DON'T do the head bob when that song comes on? Lame. I do it when I'm runnin and you're welcome for that visual, 'cause you know my sweaty, red-faced self bobbing my head is quite the sight.

Sorry about the head injury. And the random stop. Please note I still get confused by the siren in that one Indigo Girls song, Shame on You maybe? The lyrics are even something about lights flashing and getting pulled over and even as I'm singing them I'm all "there must be an ambulance driving by" and I get ready to pull over.

So, yeah, you're still awesome to me. Then again, I'm a dork so I wouldn't really trust my judgement if I were you.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger Homemaker Man said...

First: Big Ups on the My Prerogative. My Love for BB threatens to make me a pariah in these parts.

2nd: If I had been the driver who had seen you smash your head off the window while bobbing it to Baby Don't Hurt Me, my immediate thought--as I was laughing my ass off--would've been, "That right there is my new friend." And once you had come around, we would've exchanged numbers and our families would've met for dinner at the nearest roller rink so we could listen to Roni or On Our Own (GB2 theme) while we ate.

The End

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 12:19:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

now that was funny (the screeching tires on the Ipod), but i have done worse or better depending on your perspective.
As far as Haddaway goes you are right on!
Does that make you Awesome? Okay, just a bit!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 2:36:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

SciFi Dad - I think this may also prove I'm willing to do anything for very little. I think that's also defined as 'cheap,' but I think that's another story as well. Let's stick with awesome. Huzzah!

Anna - I think you have been struck by the awesome lightening bolt, too, pal!

Pat - Let's not forget painful, too. Priceless and painful. Maybe also pitiful. Yes. Yes to pitiful. ;)

Savage - Sometimes it is also about cookies. If were about musical cookies, let's just say I'd never leave my house.

Cocotte - Yes! I have that one on my iPod, too, but right now I can't think of the title, and I'm too lazy to wait for my computer to bring up my iTunes library. Now, can you imagine if I was swayed by the power of just the spoken word?! Imagine what Kanye's "Flashing Lights" cold do to me!

Craig - Well, to be honest, I hadn't yet had dinner when said event happen, so... Suffice to say, when I did get to eat a couple hours later, I did that vigorously.

Meg - People who DON'T do the head bob to "What Is Love" are liars. They are lying that they don't, and if they start to do it, then catch themselves doing it and stop, well, not acceptable. I don't want people like that in my world. Them and bossy people. Who needs 'em!

Homemaker Man - Dude! YES! When you commit to one Bobby Brown, you don't just love him, you live him. You live him and you sing his praises. You don't care if people look at you weird when you bust out some "Humpin' Around" at the grocery store. No. You just smile at them and tell them to step off. In fact, you just tell them to take "Every Little Step" off. "My name is Bobby...(not my real name, really, but for purpose of this response)...Browowowown...."

The end.

Or is it just the beginning?

Whitemist - I think we've reached the consensus that even if it's worse, it's still better...or something like that! Regardless, it would appear my reign of awesomicity remains intact!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 9:14:00 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Yeah, I still think you're awesome too. And, I'm glad I'm not the only one with cheesy taste in music.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 10:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Stacia said...

Ouch! Yes, I think you should try audio books for a while! I hear the Harry Potter ones are good. =>

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger the weirdgirl said...

I saw a 30-something guy the other day performing some complicated hand clapping sequence in his car like he was part of a gospel choir or a cheerleading team or something. Then he caught me looking and he smiled... GLEEFULLY! And that's what you should do, next time Haddaway comes on. Own the awesomeness!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 4:06:00 PM  
Anonymous bejewell said...

If I had a nickel for every time I've pulled over to make room for a phantom emergency vehicle, only to realize that it's the siren sounds that start off "Bring Night" by Sia, I could pay your extra quarter. Curse you, SIA!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 7:28:00 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

One day your ipod is going to get you killed... But until then, I still think you're pretty awesome.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 12:27:00 PM  
Blogger TwoBusy said...

The mental image of your smashing your head against your driver's-side window - because of Haddaway - is easily the best thing to come into my life in the past month.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 1:03:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

anymommy - Want to duet on some sweet, sweet Air Supply some day? :)

Stacia - I just mentioned to my son that I need to reread the early books because (ahem) I haven't read all the HP books yet (which should be against the law since I'm employed as a bookseller...), but my daily commutes are around 15 minutes. I think that would take me 30 years to get through the books that way!

the weirdgirl - Ha! Perfect! I think I'm going to go with a snazzy thumbs up move when I get caught owning the awesomeness!

bejewell - We should never, ever be on the road together at the same time!

Kate - Wait. Are you saying my iPod is looking to take a hit out on me or is it telling me to put more HITS on it?! :)

TwoBusy - I hope that delight comes because of your fondness for me and not because you wish me such pain. Oh, seriously, the pain!

Thursday, September 23, 2010 9:24:00 PM  
Blogger justmakingourway said...

Wait a minute. Why does the link to "What is love" go to Alanis Morrisette's "Ironic?" Are you trying to confuse me?

I love your iPod.

Saturday, September 25, 2010 5:54:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

justmakingourway - Really? Clearly I overdid it with the linking and wasn't paying attention to my copy and pasting. I blame the Haddaway-induced head injury. ;)

Saturday, September 25, 2010 8:17:00 PM  

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