...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

remember when tlc was called 'the learning channel'?

My kids made me record, watch, and physically retch so violently I could tell you what I had for dinner the night prior a television show featuring a woman who drinks her own urine.

Let me pause and take a sip of my delicious, sort of looks like urine if you squint diet Mountain Dew while you marinate over that.

A comforting cocktail, it says. Comforting cocktail. Oh, I'm not even gonna go all the places I could go with that one, if you know what I mean, and trust me, I could go many places.

Not only does she drink it, she also bathes in it, cups her eyes with it, ingests it through her nasal passages, and does something called 'urine packing.' That, friends, is a place I don't want to go. She does this not for survival, Bear Grylls-style, but because she thinks she's healing herself of disease, specifically cancer. The show led us to believe urine therapy is a thing, but it's not my thing. I prefer my meds over the counter rather than through the urethra, but OK for her, I guess...except, based on the look on the doctor's face in this particular episode, probably not very OK.

My kids ate this up (or drank it up, as the case may be), whereas I watched through split fingers adhered to my eyes as though I was watching a horror movie. When I came downstairs this morning, my youngest son was bringing a large cup of something that looked like urine up to his mouth and I screamed, but he assured me it was apple juice. Based on how often I have to remind the men in this house to flush a toilet, all I can do is hope.

I don't have a point to this post, nor can I think of other words right now that start with the letter P for a post all about pee. I just wanted to say that, for a night filled with great family television viewing potential, this one was in the crapper

(pee s - it should be noted that while I couldn't watch a lady guzzle her own urine, after the kids went to bed, I DID watch fake zombies rip apart screaming protagonists in what was an epic conclusion to this season's Walking Dead without any qualms)

(pee pee s - pee s? hilarious!)



Blogger Principled Slut said...

Regarding your label - do not make lemonade please. It is yellow. Thank you.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012 1:54:00 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

Perfectly putrid. Possibly perused as penance?

And you know what Jim Morrison said - "People are strange". . .

It does remind me, tho, of the old joke about why beer passes through one so quickly - because it doesn't have to stop along the way to change color.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012 2:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupid people getting their 15 minutes. Or hour special as the case may be.

On a side note, my mother prefers weird treatments. Sure glad she ain't got cable ......

Tuesday, March 20, 2012 3:22:00 PM  
Blogger lime said...

dear god, i couldn't even bring myself to watch the video. the mind boggles and the stomach churns.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012 8:37:00 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

Best point of the whole video?

"This is stuff your body has already decided it doesn't want. . ."

Just sayin'. . .

Tuesday, March 20, 2012 8:45:00 PM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

I didn't watch the clip....I've seen enough highlights from the program (woman eating dirt, woman eating foam couch cushions, woman eating chalk) to know that you need a strong stomach for this. Much like their other show 'Say Yes To the Dress!'

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 6:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I used to think the ladies on A Baby Story were sometimes oversharing. I hate TLC.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 1:01:00 PM  
Blogger Logical Libby said...

Just from a health point of view, the color of her urine shows she's really dehydrated.

Maybe because she's drinking urine?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 7:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Kate Coveny Hood said...

I can't think of a single thing to say about that... I mean...yeah.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 10:52:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin McKeever said...

That show and woman still sound less appalling than "Dance Moms."

Thursday, March 22, 2012 4:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am laughing SO HARD! You and your family are hilarious. I'm going to go drink something yellow in honor of you all.

Saturday, March 24, 2012 9:45:00 AM  
Anonymous sharon said...

HOnesetly, after reading that my only comment is Ewwwwwww... *full body shudder*

Monday, March 26, 2012 1:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Pam said...

Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:17:00 AM  
Blogger the weirdgirl said...

That is exactly how I felt the same time I heard about people eating placenta. "For the vitamins". What the fuck?!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 12:54:00 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

Ummmmm. . . could I ask you a favor?

Would you mind very much posting something else soon?

Just, you know, 'cuz. . .

Wednesday, March 28, 2012 2:00:00 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Oddly enough, I'm drinking diet mountain dew and watching tlc! it's amazing the shows people come up with today!

Monday, April 09, 2012 9:01:00 PM  
Blogger Just Two Chicks said...

Yeah, I saw that episode too... Strange Addictions... also included was a gentleman who made love to his car. It wasn't even a nice car!!

Saturday, June 16, 2012 10:17:00 PM  

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