give her my autograph & tell her it's been nice knowing you
also, since i'm creating this fantasy, i'm going to say that in all likelihood, unless these men are overcome by my powers of charm and seduction and immediately wish to "hit" me first (feasible, yes. remember my penchant for reality. i'm not gonna sell myself short on my own blog, my friends), i'm gonna ask for a dinner, perhaps some scintillating conversation and an opportunity to gush appropriately about why i love them before proceeding to the hitting.
so, in no particular order, i give you my five "hittable" celebrities. i'll open the floor for debates and discussion following:
bono - because really, all you need is three chords and the truth. because when he sings 'desire' i can feasibly pretend it's to me ("in hollywood tonight..."). because he's intense and passionate and smart and snarky and has stubby fingers, and isn't afraid to make fun of himself. because 'all i want is you' breaks my heart every damn time i hear it, for many reasons. and because when i saw them perform in concert, parts of my body that i didn't even know could get hard stiffened up like diamonds in the arctic when the spotlight hit him.
mike rowe - my case has been made, really. women of the world (or, apparently, at least those who stop by here) tend to agree. the man is hot. dead sexy. smart. snarky. obviously not afraid to get messy or try things some of us wouldn't dream of. will put his arm into places arms shouldn't go. yep. mike rowe gives me that good thing. we all know what i'm talking about. don't make me say it again (though i'm thinking it and i really want to...).
michael hutchence - dead is a detail. if sex was an actual "being," something that could get up and walk and breath and talk, it would be michael hutchence, and i'd want to be trailing behind him. "because we all have wings, but some of us don't know why...." because i never fail to be crushed by the thought of making wine from my tears. short hair. long hair (preferrably long, though...sorry...). you know that with him, it would be nasty and intense and exhausting and you'd want to do it all again as soon as it was over (well, i'm gonna assume to know).
kiefer sutherland - since 'the lost boys.' jason patric in 'the lost boys'? oh, hell yes! but when i was done with jason, give me the bad boy with the bleached blond hair. because i would totally get off hearing him say "the following takes place between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m." in that whispery, sexy voice directly into my ear. because he's freakin' jack bauer, people! he obviously has the stamina to go 24 hours without food or breaks of any sort.
anthony bourdain - now i'm not so sure i want to technically 'hit,' anthony bourdain, but i'd dig hanging out with him. because he's snarky to the point that you don't know if he's hitting on you or making fun of you. passionate and willing to try new things. no discernible vices. hell of a writer. poetic. obviously, the man can cook, so that's a huge selling point. i'm just not sure i'm up to eating pig parts and intestines, but if he convinced me, then maybe (but probably not...). so because of those things, i'd probably flirt it up with him and after a few pints, sure. anything's possible.
and michael? well, michael sings with the angels.
but sure, it's fun to think about. "so crawl over here, and give me a moment..."