'resolution of happiness...'

as a whole, i'm not inclined to make new year's resolutions. i find it a practice in futility, really. at least for me. being something of a perfectionist (wait? "something" of a perfectionist? a true perfectionist would just boldly say she was one! let me scream it out a bit more loudly so you hear me in the back), the very moment i strayed from a resolution meant chucking it completely and simply going with the flow that is my life.

my distaste for resolutions essentially stems from the fact that for me, as for so many of us, making them really just means we want to take something away from our lives, or worse, expect not to be disappointed by the fact that change doesn't happen immediately.

succumb to dessert by noon on january 1st? welp, fuck it. let's eat the whole damn cake. hell yes i want that extra glob of frosting you're not planning to eat.

oh, and yep, forget that resolution about curbing the cursing...

see? it's futile. really, resolutions are simply cliches.

i used to write resolutions down in some long ago journal. some cosmic 'to do' list numbered by order of importance orchestrated in my mind to make me a better person. however, if i'd go back at the end of the 365 days i was to have become new and improved, i'd most often find them incomplete.

not just a little bit incomplete. utterly, mockingly so.

this year, not to be flip, my sole plan is a resolution for happiness. more a mindset than a resolution, let's say. things have been dark for too long...and i'm not a dark person.

so i'm not going to change anything in 2007. there are no grand plans to take things away because i enjoy way too many things (feel free to discuss amongst yourselves what some of those things may be. if you want to share your guesses, i'll let you know if you're right. if you want to show me what you think those things may be, well hell, even better). instead, i'll consider enhancing things.

in part:

• i'm going to take tap dance lessons. for some silly reason, this plan scares the hell out of me and it's partly because of that i'll be hoofing around.
• boost the amount of time i do yoga. i'm not a dark person, but i do need to remember to stop and take a breath from time to time. focusing on my warrior poses should help. who knew you could feel so utterly strong simply by gracefully moving your body?
• more belly dancing. i highly recommend it. it's sexy as hell, and who doesn't want to feel what that's like more often?
• learn some foreign language. i'm trying to figure out which one to tackle. i want something that sounds sexy when it's whispered in your ear. perhaps french or italian. something i can practice while driving to and from work on my short commutes. i cannot roll my tongue or trill my r's though, so i'm hoping this doesn't impede me.
• learn how to do something creative. that may be spending time getting back into designing or tackling some creative hobby. i've not figured that one out yet, and i'm game to suggestions.

i don't think any of these things are terribly lofty, nor do i think of them as punishments i must force upon myself at midnight tonight. if something falls by the wayside, so be it. the sky above won't fall down.

but ok, yeah. admitting that last part was tough for this perfectionist. maybe i will have to work on changing that part of my personality. i'll at least think about it while i'm in downward-facing dog...

INXS - Don't Change