...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, December 15, 2006

it's not you, christmas, it's me...

christmas? can you come here a minute? i think we need to talk.

listen. you've always been good to me. all this time we've been together you've pretty much given me everything i've ever asked for. what's that? oh. yes, i've forgiven you for not giving me that easy bake oven when i was younger. i was being selfish and petulant. i'm glad we could move beyond that dark period in our relationship and get on with things. you really made up for it over the years, christmas, and i thank you. i wish you could stop worrying about that.

you know what i find so amazing about you, christmas? that for all the giving you've done, you've never once asked for anything in return from me. sure, i try to do the whole "church thing" and understand "the reason for the season," and all that. i commiserate with you when i see you depicted as some silly oaf or snoozing animal decked out in a santa claus hat across the front of a greeting card. since i'm being honest with you, though, i'm admitting now that i've most often sent out some snarky little cards over the years. oh, come on! you know my friends!

seriously. enough about them! this is about us.

i've tried to be consoling when you've gone on and on about how others "just don't get you." i know it's been hard for you to understand why people want to hone in on our relationship. when they start showing up in september, poking around and putting up pretty decorations, trying to lure you away. well, i'm not gonna lie. it can be a little hurtful. i've seen how you look at them. i pretty much cast aside halloween for you and you expect me not to be a little bit jealous? halloween and i kinda had a good thing starting there before i realized my loyalties to you again.

listen. i don't want this to turn into an argument. you're too jolly for something like that!

ok, since we're being so honest, i have to get a few things off my chest.

what's that? heh. oh christmas! you always know how to make me smile! yes, you're right about my chest. it is a kick ass rack. what? you want to see it. oh, ok...

wait! what are you trying to do!? please don't change the subject! can we get back to what i was saying? i adore you! really! but listen...

what? oh. you just knew there was going to be a "but" in there? please don't get snippy with me! ok, really, stop looking at me like that or i'm going to cry and i told myself i wasn't going to do that!

dammit! how do you have this kind of power over me?!

listen. listen! would you just come back here?

i've been working a retail job now for three of your seasons. you assured me it would be busy and such, but that people would be nice and friendly. that deep down they knew you were good and that would rub off on them. it would be all smiles and cheerful "merry christmas" greetings. you taught me to not be afraid to say that even when people went with the less invasive "happy holidays." you taught me to give in spirit and not abundance. you assured me that, with proper planning, i'd be able to help you out by doing some of my own shopping and spreading our love to others.

but i'm tired. your ideas aren't really working for me this year. people aren't being so nice anymore! they growl some response to me when i say 'merry christmas,' or they're pushing around in the aisles, forcing me to just grab like a mad woman when i go shopping.

and they're messy, christmas. the people are just so messy and rude lately. plus, i don't think i can say "would you like a gift receipt?" one more time without the possibility of provoking some carnage soon.

i'm tired, christmas. i'm just so damn tired.

so what i'm saying is i think we need to take a little break. what's that? are you crying? ok, now i'm going to start crying again! i thought i was stronger than this, dammit! i've been practicing this speech in my head for a week.

yes. yes. yes, i still love you. no! i don't want us to be apart forever. are you kidding? you mean too much to me, christmas! i just think we need a little time apart. figure out who we are without the other, you know? i think we're mature enough we can still be friends, don't you?

what's that? oh. you plan on sticking around?

sigh...whatever.

i have to go back to the store tonight and work anyway. in the children's department, christmas. yeah. what do you think about that? see what you're making them do to me? that alone should be cause for a permanent break-up.


but you know what? you're right. i do love you. i'm so glad we had this talk, aren't you? what'dya say we celebrate our stronger, improved relationship with a little celebration? i say let's go shopping!

ok, fine. after i show you the kick ass rack. it's not all about giving to me, is it now, christmas?

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing like working retail to bring about a new "appreciation" for the season. I hope you two can work things out and let me know your secret if you do because we are having our own issues this year too.

Friday, December 15, 2006 11:58:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Since you and Christmas are breaking up can I be your new season?... No just for a rebound kinda deal either...

Friday, December 15, 2006 12:17:00 PM  
Blogger you da mom! said...

ooohh, i remember nights working in the kids' section at old navy...the horrid hours of folding and refolding teeny tiny outfits strewn all over the floor. the backbreaking minutes hunched over the register. "would you like a gift receipt with that?" recited like 18,000 times a day...ahh, the joys of the holidays.

Friday, December 15, 2006 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

What say we stay together for another week or so, have some wild break-up sex, and then think about getting back together in another 11 months?

I promise I'll change. And you know you'll take me back.

-Christmas

Friday, December 15, 2006 1:34:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Ah, Christmas...why can't I quit you? What is it about you?

Fine, you win. Take off that silly hat, put on a little music to put me in the mood (might I suggest "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"? What? You want "Silent Night"? Sorry, Christmas baby. You're so silly! Don't you know it's not going to be a silent night...). Now get over here!

After this, would you mind just a bit coming around again during that boring stretch of the year when there's nothing going on. Late February of so? You know I'll roast your chestnuts, Christmas...

Friday, December 15, 2006 2:23:00 PM  
Blogger April said...

oh, yeah...i can't leave Christmas alone either.

but he is a great season...:)

(even though he comes around WAY too early now...i do miss my halloween.)

Friday, December 15, 2006 3:02:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Board up the windows and stay inside from the end of halloween until the end of january....you and christmas will be sure to work things out ;)

Friday, December 15, 2006 4:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why can't people just have fun this season, rather than making it such a big production and, ultimately, just another job?

I sympathize about being a store clerk during this time. You must have a lot of stories that are better told after Dec. 26 . . .

Friday, December 15, 2006 10:10:00 PM  
Blogger JUnderCovers said...

"We were on a break!"

Very well put--you can't blame you for trying. Apparently Christmas is just too powerful for you, but at least you told it how you feel.

Now about showing this kick-ass rack, you keep teasing us all. That's just not right.

Sunday, December 17, 2006 11:27:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

finished - if christmas wasn't so damn cute and knew all the right things to do to me, i'd probably have a better chance at ending this. it needs me about four nights a week, though, so what can you do. i'm a giver.

savage - was totally trying to end things with christmas for you, but in the end, christmas kept promising me things. kept giving me presents. yeah, i'm a bit of a pushover. what do you have for me, eh?

youdamom - all i can do is thank whatever and whomever i need to thank that i'm not spending the nights folding tiny outfits and picking up dressing rooms!

christmas/ftn - you know how i feel...

april - welcome! don't tell christmas, but i cheat on it with halloween a bit. it's a casual thing.

nanette - good idea! actually, christmas and i may need to make some resolutions here in a few days.

cherrie - ah, only four more nights of working and then it's done. here's to just going with the flow!

j - ah, if only 'taking a break' were that easy! there's so much stress involved. we decided we couldn't figure out what stuff we shared to split up so we're sticking it out.

as for the kick ass rack, here's to contemplating whether it will be a christmas gift!

Monday, December 18, 2006 1:01:00 AM  

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