'i myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward'
In the event you're wishing to clean your house on the quick, I recommend the following soundtrack clamped loudly to your ears when dusting commences as a means of propelling you through your duties.
- "Losing My Religion" - R.E.M. - You will think "I can't dance to this!" You would be wrong.
- "Whiskey In The Jar"- versions by Metallica and U2. On a five-play repeat each. At least. (Note: Do not invite Metallica over to your house prior to cleaning it)
- "New Sensation" - INXS. Dance mix if you can. And I can! Pause at all the appropriate places and jam back in. Then hit 'repeat' and kick that drum beat's ass.
- "Hey Ladies" - Beastie Boys. Step to the rhythm. Step to the rhyme. This will slow you down a bit.
- "The Globe"- Big Audio Dynamite. Where are you going, my beautiful friend? It's time to scrub toilets!
- "Cradle Of Love" - Billy Idol. Stop and pretend you have a stripper pole in your living room. Maybe cat crawl across the floor. Pretend your stripper name is "Devon Double Ds." When you're done, check your knees for any errant dust.
- "Get It On (Bang A Gong)" - The Power Station. Pretend you're making your world a lovelier place for John Taylor when he comes over to strum your bass. What's that? You're dirty and sweet, clad in black and he loves you? Hmmm. Interesting. Ponder stopping your chores and addressing other things.
- "To Be A Lover" - Billy again. You've not been showing him the love lately. Well baby, I'm so sorry. But the bathrooms are nasty.
- "Remedy" - The Black Crowes. Long enough to vacuum your furniture, if you're so inclined. And when I come on like a dream, the house is always sparkling
- "Let Forever Be" - The Chemical Brothers. How does it feel like to wake up in the sun...that you can now see through your clean windows?
- "Santa Monica" - Everclear. You may not want to do my sleepwalk dance anymore. But you will. Because "Father of Mine" is next.
- "Bawitdaba" - apparently, his name is Kid Rock. By this point, your house isn't quite the pit it was before you started cleaning, but go ahead and get in it and try to love someone.
- "Interstate Love Song" - Stone Temple Pilots. By now, you should be nearly done. Take a look around your place while making up your own lyrics. It's cliche, and god knows you dig some cliche.
- "Whiskey In The Jar" - Metallica again. Dammit. Who knew you could shake the ass to this so hard? Me. That's who. It's why it took me 20 minutes to Windex two mirrors.
- "Elevation" - U2. Have I educated your mind? Good. Plus, Evil Bono is just as hot as Good Bono.
- "Icky THump" - The White Stripes. La la, la la la la la la la la la laaa laaa laaa. Your house is clean now!
Of course, if you're like me (lucky bastard!), you'll find that several minutes will have passed and you're just a sweaty mess in the middle of the family room floor from all the dancing you've been doing. Your dust rags and your hair just defeated, limp messes around you. It's OK. This would be when I suggest you're just too good to be cleaning your house and you need to take this act on the road, get famous and get yourself a maid.
Or just look around the place and think "Paint It Black" (U2 cover if possible, but remember what I said about digging cliches).
The dust won't show up as easily that way.
Labels: whack for my daddy-o
17 Comments:
I realize we've only known each other for maybe 5 days but... I think I love you.
Awesome play list. One question?! What do you do with the kids while you're cleaning? Tie them to their room? Because mine tend to make messes right behind me! I almost had a nervous breakdown yesterday keeping the house clean until the hubby got home. Because he thinks I sit at my computer all day (So busted!).
When I clean, I turn the tv to the music channel Arena Rock. LOVE IT. Nothing but 80's hairbands!!!! Reminds me of sitting with friends in a car creating a smoke box! lol I mean, sitting in the car singing Kumbiya! lol
YouTube much?
I also question why there isn't some Dust Brothers in this list. Seems like it would be fitting.
Me? When I clean, it's all boy bands, all the time. You haven't lived until you've seen me do the pop-n-lock whilst vacuuming.
Damn girl I knew I loved you for a reason! Any girl that can play Billy and Metallica on the same day is ok in my book! I love them both! I would add a speck or two of Marilyn Manson in there for good measure, but that's just me, and mostly reserved for the treadmill and driving anyway...
Stacie
Each and every selection is Savage approved...
What's that savage guy got in his mouth? I'm hoping its a hot dog
Great mix -- minus the Metallica. Never could get into them.
You can be the guest DJ at my place anytime!
great set list. omg, you NEED to come over for DDR.
and you are coming to clean my house when?
Perfect!
I would only add a touch of chamaleon Bowie somewhere to spice still more the selection ;)
x
If I didn't have to have on the Disney Channel while dusting, you better believe I'd be jamming out to something....damn Disney anyway :)
Cat - I find that some of the most passionate loves are the ones that spark immediately. Sigh. Did that sound romantic? Should I set it to music? Because the music would be loud, just so you know...
Rug's Bug - Benadryl cocktail. That's my secret. Oh, I jest. My kids are too powerful even for the likes to of that. So they scurry from room to room, like dogs chasing the vacuum when I clean. Then I turn around and discover the mess trail behind me. Not cool!
And, um, I think your husband has busted many of us around here with that thought...
Choppzs - Ah yes, I too do the metal station on the satellite when I kick in. Who knew you could be so efficient to Winger's "Seventeen" Not I. Until last night. This morning? Cleaned out the mini to "Don't Know What You Got 'til It's Gone" Didn't know whether to continue febreezing or hold up the cigarette lighter.
FTN - One day, I will secure a dream job at YouTube (offial title - YouTube Madam), and spend my days watching old Duran Duran videos and interview clips and I will be in a state of bliss. Bliss, I say.
Before then, I must live, though. I shall scour YouTube for clips of you and this pop and lock. Can you do it to LFO's "Summer Girls"? With a line like "Hip Hop Marmalade, Spic and Span" it seems rather fitting for the cleaning jobs.
Stacie - I forgot your affection for one master William Idol. Trust there is some Manson in my long and illustrious collection of songs!
Savage - So I should expect you over to clean bathtubs around, say, 4 p.m.?
Jean Knee - While I'm sure it's *his* finger at his lips, I like to pretend it is the finger of a hapless opponent who should have known better than to tangle with someone with a nickname the likes of "Savage"
Chag - To be honest, I'm not a huge Metallica fan. Random tunes. Nothing major. There's an annoyance factor to them I can't get past. So no worries. I won't bring any of them when I come to DJ.
Except now I need a cool DJ name!
You Da Mom - I need to book a flight for truly, I must dance! I'm ragingly jealous! I would spend afternoons doing it! I'd get past my fear of doing it in front of other people! Basically, I might never leave your place!
Edtime - I'm typically free Saturdays. I'm rather demanding, though. And take frequent breaks!
Lady L - While it may seem obvious, I say we skip past "China Girl" (though honestly, I've scrubbed a tub in record time to that track) and I'll add "Suffragette City" and "Heroes" to the mix for you. If for no other reason than that last one supports my love of dolphins!
Wethyb - I find that the stopping and looking at the television in contempt and confusion when "The Doodlebops" are on makes cleaning the house difficult.
We've graduated to Nick. So it's a constant rotation of "Drake and Josh". Which isn't so bad, but seriously, I've seen the salsa making contest enough that I think I'm actually living it, and that can't be good.
ouch!
Jean Knee - Oh, I think it's probably safe. I also take him as more of a nibbler.
The louder the music the louder one can scream!
Did I just say that out loud? Dude, what are you doing to me??
And I realize that I only have a defunct blog on blogger these days, so if you feel the need to check out my rambles you can here: www.beyondelsewhere.ca. :)
Cat - I'd scream an answer back to you, but my throat is killing me from all the screaming I've already been doing while dancing away! Whispering will have to suffice, eh?
Post a Comment
<< Home