why my marriage holds water
If there's one thing my Tool Man's good at, it's the fine art of seduction.
I paused after typing that sentence and looked to the end of the couch, where Tool Man's currently perched, intently watching the classic Beneath Loch Ness on the Sci Fi channel, to determine if I could pick up a vibe on anything else he's good at, but I'm coming up blank. This kind of makes me feel bad. Kind of. Because if you're going to be good at something, the fine art of seduction ain't too shabby.
Especially when you nail it as easily as Tool Man does.
And by "nail it" I don't always mean me.
Oh, who am I kidding. I always mean me, because if you had a front row seat to our romance, you'd see how easily I cave. Mostly after rolling my eyes and muttering "Are you kidding me with this?" But he gets as excited as I do when we stumble upon Road House on television - "Do you enjoy pain?" "Pain don't hurt," baby - so I'd follow him to the ends of the earth.
This weekend, I followed him into my mom's and my in law's basements. We've had a ton of rain this past week, and both basements flooded. After trips to my mom's to move furniture and Shop Vac, we'd head over to my in law's to stare at the water spouting up from the sump pump. It was a messy, smelly, exhausting experience.
Kind of like sex.
Which Tool Man tried to get off me when, as we emerged from his parent's basement for the final time, he turned back to me, smirked, and said with absolute double entendre dripping from his words, "We should get home. You're soaking."
I rolled my eyes. Smacked him. Then pushed him out the door and into the truck, telling him to drive hella fast before I completely dried off.
But then we got home and discovered Road House was on VH1, so, you know, we looked at each other, simultaneously said "Rain check?" (because we're clever, the way we tie in the art of the seduction and the pause button). Then I asked him "How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?" and he replied, "Just lucky I guess."
Oh, he'll get lucky. I'm a total caver. That nailing it bit (plus being able to quote Swayze? Oh, hell yeah!) gets me every time.
Labels: hands across the water (water)