...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, May 23, 2008

the one where I also feigned ignorance...

The other night I was engrossed in a book while my sons, semi-comatose on the couch, watched wrestling on television.

I realize that sentence probably says a lot about my parenting style, but sometimes a mom needs to just not talk anymore, and I had made them put away their guns and drug paraphernalia when they'd gone upstairs to put pajamas on, so I think credit should be given there.

The boys love wrestling. They love talking about it, watching it, playing with their wrestling action figures in ways not reminiscent of a
men's prison love story, and regaling me with various statistics. This, even though I sigh, roll my eyes, and tap my book and remind them that sports, even fake sports, confuse me.

So on this particular evening, I was just getting engrossed in a chapter of my book when I realized my sons had grown surprisingly quiet, prompting my eyes to travel toward the television screen, where I saw the following:

For those of you who can't see the video because of work or moral guidelines, it features WWE Diva Kelly Kelly doing the kind of dance one would find in a gentleman's club or sometimes in my bedroom when the Tool Man has had an especially rough week (except I don't think you can have a rough week EVERY week, so I need to have a talk with him soon). My oldest son had a look on his face that combined confusion and boredom perfectly. When Kelly Kelly got to the part of her routine where she stepped back and reached for the zipper on her tiny latex vest to hint at the reveal of her assets (50 seconds into the clip if you're so inclined), I heard this:

"Hey Mom, I have no idea what she's doing."

As I ripped my eyes from the television screen over to my oldest son, I admit I spent a moment replaying his comment in my mind, trying to determine where the inflection in his comment fell. Was it on "no," meaning he seriously had no idea what this dance routine was, or was it on "idea" and tinged with a dash of sarcasm, meaning he actually DID know, and it was making him feel a little funny in his tummy? Before I could ask him to repeat himself, he'd grabbed the remote control and was fast forwarding to get back to the scenes of the grappling, sweaty men talking smack to each other.

So perhaps I shouldn't be worried about my son growing up too fast, wanting to shave and move out. Or maybe the fact that he was fast forwarding to get to the men means I'm going to have to amend the talk. Either way, I think I have a bit more time to plan.

When I shared this tidbit with the Tool Man, and showed him the clip, he said he, too, had no idea what she was doing, but maybe it was time he plop down and watch wrestling with his sons now. I told him it would be a good time to have these little father and son talks. Bonding, he called it.

Then he asked me to dance for him because he'd had a rough week, but pity for him because I had a book to read.



Blogger Cocotte said...

Um, so that's what TV14 is now? Nice....
And, because I have to throw in a catty comment.....that dancing took zero talent; plus the brunette was homely.

Friday, May 23, 2008 10:19:00 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

They actual wrestle on those shows. I always see the women in skimpy outfits bouncing around ... uh what was I saying?

Friday, May 23, 2008 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Hmm...now my brother's interest in wrestling is starting to make sense...

This makes me glad that the only tv channel we have is Fox.

Friday, May 23, 2008 10:36:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

I actually did a dance like that last night in my bedroom, too.

Your son knows EXACTLY what those ladies were doing. But when Mom is in the room, always feign ignorance. If my own Mom was in the room, I'd probably even pretend I didn't know what was going on.

I should point out that with no sound, the dancing in that clip (or whatever that was) looks even more ridiculous.

I miss Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Macho Man Randy Savage.

Friday, May 23, 2008 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

I'll have to wait until I get home if I want to see the video but this reminds me of the time we were watching a movie with the kids, and proceeded to cover their eyes as the ta-ta's were about to be displayed ('cause I let my kids watch innappropriate stuff, apparently) and Monkey (then 4)said "No, mom, I LIKE girls!"

**Sigh** they grow up so fast...

Friday, May 23, 2008 10:56:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Hmmm. I may have to watch wrestling.

Of course, that would entail turning on the tv, so it's not so likely I'll develop an overwhelming fascination with the shows, or the sport.

Friday, May 23, 2008 11:24:00 AM  
Blogger cat said...

My husband is a Wrestling watcher and I sit at my computer and toss sarcastic comments at him and the TV while it's on. The Diva stuff is getting a little too..um.. well there used to be a time where the women of wrestling actually, you know, wrestled! Now they seem to dress in next to nothing and spank each other with paddles after a pillow fight.

I liked when they used to kick butt. :)

Your sons are growing up fast. heh

Friday, May 23, 2008 11:53:00 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Are those warm-up stretches for her wrestling bout? Streeettch, shakeitout-shakeitout ...

Friday, May 23, 2008 1:48:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Ha, I can remember watching wrasslin' with my brothers when I was a kid. I was a big Hulk Hogan fan, and hated Rowdy Roddy Piper. LOL Can't stand it now though, ever since I found out it was scripted. =(

Friday, May 23, 2008 3:32:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

your kid cracks me up!

it wasn't too awfully long ago that jamie and his dork ass friends went to watch WWF. Now it all makes sense.

Wrestling truly is FAKE!

Friday, May 23, 2008 6:30:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

hint: those um, "temporary", stripper poles that can be conveniently hidden in your walk in closet are good for more than just Carmen Electra workouts.
or...so I HEAR, anyway...hehehe

Friday, May 23, 2008 9:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl- i bet you got you some killer moves!!! woohooooooooo!!! you bettah work, work it, guuuuuuuuurl. :)

crazy but true- i was obsessed with wrestling as a kid. i loved it. Randy Macho Man Savage was my fave.

Saturday, May 24, 2008 7:11:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart in P Towne said...

I am sorry...can you catch me up on the rest...I lost you when I pressed play.

Saturday, May 24, 2008 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

Well, now I get why grown men watch wrestling...

Saturday, May 24, 2008 11:36:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Ah... the joys I have to look forward to. Here's hoping they're into monster trucks over wrestling. Although something tells me there's probably scantily clad women in that too.

Saturday, May 24, 2008 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

I used to watch wrestling when The Rock was on but after he left that was it for me. The chick fights are getting more and more ridiculous.
Hubs and I went to a sports dinner place and the had a big screen TV was showing the girl fights the husband's eyes were glued to the screen! >:o[

Saturday, May 24, 2008 5:39:00 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Chyna could break that stripper in half.

Saturday, May 24, 2008 11:57:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

So this is what wrestling has turned into. I watched all the time when I was young but meh, if your going to watch acting there are better venues.

Sunday, May 25, 2008 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Cocotte - Um, I can be a little catty sometimes, too, so trust that when I found this clip and showed Tool Man, I was all "...and please! Look at that brunette. Pffft..."

Mike - The boys tend to still fast forward through the Divas. I'm guessing as this year comes to an end and my oldest son gets a bit older, this won't be the case.

Therese - And I thought my brother-in-law liked it for the action!

ftn - I still pretend I don't know what's going on whem my own mother is in the room. This is the case no matter what the situation. It's just easier. Oh, and btw, snap into a slim jim!

Melody - Ha! If he was like that at four, you've got your hands full!

Sailor - I blame my brother-in-law for this fascination with wrestling. Sometimes I pretend the shows didn't record!

Cat - The Divas are now just dancers who serve as intermission to the wrasslin,' I think. The only good thing is you don't have to pay a cover or bring your own beer!

Melissa - That's the fine art of deep knee bends, I believe!

Heather - I told my kids the other day that some of those wrestlers used to be on when I was a kid, and they looked at me like I was on display from the dinosaur exhibit at a museum!

kimmy - The wrestlers are coming here soon, but we convinced the boys they'd have a better spot for spying boobies from the comfort of our living room. Then they were all "blech, you said boobies!" So I think I'm ok as far as this boy thing goes for a couple more years. Maybe.

1blueshi1 - Um, yeah, so I am the owner of those Carmen Electra stripper workout dvds. Cough. Yep. Let's say they're not so much for the burning the calories. Well, I mean, sure, you can burn some calories, but not so much by doing the DVDs. But you can end up doing something...

Katie - I can do some bumps, and I swear, as God is my witness, I will one day have a pole in my house! Oh, and back in the day, I was a Rowdy Roddy Piper fan. Dudes in kilts!

Bogart - Mostly, it was a lot of "blah, blah, blah..." so you're probably good!

Mandy Lou - Tool Man came rushing in to see if I was recording RAW tonight, so I've unleashed it completely here!

Mandy - I'm learning that there are scantily clad women pretty much everywhere!

Bee - Based on some of the Rock's legit thespian activities, I wish the dude would go back to wrestling!

BP Dad - Would that be pre-Celebrity Rehab Chyna or post? And would she want to make out with them first?

Michael - I used to watch old school wrestling with my grandpa, black and white television, Sunday afternoons, and men in tights. Heck, it was actually wrestling!

Monday, May 26, 2008 10:54:00 PM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Here's the link:


Thought you'd want to get your membeership card ASAP!!

Hallie :)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008 8:33:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Sorry I'm so late to the party. . . long weekend, and all that. . .

Yeef, some of you folks are talking like it's a brand-new realization you've just come to, that 'Wrestling' is fake. . .

When I was a kid, TV wrestling was fat old guys doing bad choreography in a back-room studio somewhere in Saginaw, with 15 folks on folding chairs as the 'audience'. . .

And, hey, who remembers Hulk Hogan's original gig as 'Thunderlips' in Rocky III?

Oh, and btw, it's not his 'tummy' where those strange feelings live. . .

Tuesday, May 27, 2008 9:44:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

WWW - I'm asking for a museum membership for my birthday! I only hope that it includes memberships for other similiarly themed attractions!

Des - You're welcome to the party any time yo like! Except gah! I was hoping not to think about where my kid feels those strange things! LALALALALALALALA.

When I was watching wrestling with my Grandpa back in the day, it was like shot down in the local TV studio and was a bunch of local thugs. Or so it seemed. It definitely wasn't the production it is today!

Thursday, May 29, 2008 12:09:00 AM  

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