...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

awww yeah, baby! this is where the magic happens!

The fantastical Manager Mom put out a call for her fellow bloggers to take a moment this weekend and share with others the place where they find their inspiration to work or write. I typically do the bulk of my writing while at work at the bookstore, but management tends to frown and is all, "We don't pay you to write books, missy, we pay you to sell them," so most of my shifts end with my pockets overflowing with scraps of paper and wadded up Post-It notes laden with phrases and idea fragments that I then pillage when I get home in a feeble attempt to remember my ideas. Usually I fail to recall what was so inspirational about "two guys, nipple, bears - hahahaha," thus, you've not been regaled with that tale.

YET!

Anyway, because my inspiration strikes as randomly as the above paragraph, I try to contain the magic to a couple of other locations, like out on my deck during particularly nice days. Notice that light pouring down from the left and directly upon my laptop in the above photo?

Yep. That's God, and he's all, "Spread the good word, FADKOG! May your tales of whimsy, panties, double entendre, BOOBS!, and various adorable things your kids do be the balm that soothes a wounded nation." All props to God, yo, because without him there'd be no ...for a different kind of girl.

Fist to chest, G. Fist to chest.


Sometimes God decides to make it rain or plays tricks on me where it's 99 degrees one day, and then like 74 degrees the next (Ha ha, God, you little prankster!), so I write inside. More often than not, it's while wrapped in the loving arms of the above chair. It's not easy, though, because I believe that chair is stuffed with chloroform and it sneaks up behind me while I'm in the middle of a cohesive thought, places a dirty, soaked rag in front of my face, and knocks me out. I wake up anywhere from three to five hours later, confused, with my hair often cut short, and a man in a mask telling me my new name is Patricia and I'll now do whatever he wants. I cannot stay awake in that chair to save my life.

And by "my life," I mean "Patricia's life."

Blame (or credit) the Narcolepsy Chair for those rare times I write really short posts.

Oh, wait! Do you notice that thing next to my computer up there?


It's a skeleton! You know why that skeleton is there?

Because me, God, and Patricia are giving you people our all when I sit down somewhere to write! Bare bones, straight up writing! Damn that I can't remember why I ache to tell the tale of "two guys, nipple, bears - hahahaha."

(It also means my oldest son doesn't listen when I tell him 23 times to pick his stuff up before I throw it away, because he's looking at me funny and saying, "I don't have to take orders from you, Patricia! You're not my mom!" )

Labels:

40 Comments:

Blogger Bee said...

First again??
I think I should get a prize!!

Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:34:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

You have some nice digs there! Are the kids still saying "digs" nowadays??

So, is your name Marla or not? Is there some inside joke I'm not cool enough to participate in? Because if this is the case, I'll cry real Corona tears.

Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:37:00 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

*sigh* More work areas that look immaculate. Shit girl - I mean you don't even have any mildew on that patio table. I could find seven different strains of typhoid on mine.

But I guess I'll still like you anyway. ;)

Sunday, July 13, 2008 12:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Pam said...

I'm not leaving this chair until you remember the "two guys, nipple, bears" thing. So it better be good.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 1:06:00 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Is that diet mountain dew? Does that mean all the caffeine, but none of the flavour? Just start mainlining heroin if you don't want to taste your drug.

:}

I wish I had a patio. I have a balcony. It's full of old cat furniture. And a barbecue that doesn't work.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 2:06:00 AM  
Blogger creative-type dad said...

I can't go outside. It would be nice, but then the neighbors will definitely know I'm blogging about them.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 3:15:00 AM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

I need to just go ahead and give up hope that my tech support friend I handed my nonfunctioning laptop to MONTHS AND MONTHS AGO is ever gonna get it up and running and just take it to Best Buy or somewhere to be fixed.
Narcolepsy Chair, hahaha, good one, Patricia!

Sunday, July 13, 2008 4:09:00 AM  
Blogger Manager Mom said...

You put that Diet Mountain Dew there on purpose, right? I WORK for that company. Your purchases indirectly contribute to Spawn's college funds.

OK - gotta feed the Spawn their breakfast (Cheetos and Amp Energy Drinks). I'll be back!

Sunday, July 13, 2008 7:16:00 AM  
Blogger Manager Mom said...

I have a Narcolepsy Couch. Who are these evil furniture makers that are conspiring to lure us into a perpetual coma?

And, PLEASE, I GOTTA hear the two guys, bear, nipple deal. Even if you just make it up at this point.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 8:01:00 AM  
Blogger cat said...

"Fist to chest, G. Fist to chest."

Holy crap, you just about killed me with that one. It's a good thing reading your post distracted me from taking a big gulp of my juice! Have I mentioned how much I love you lately?

Have to say I am envious of both writing spots. I'd have some decent ones too if I only had a lap top. Sigh.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 9:07:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

So let me get this straight-

Not only do you have a twelve year old boy named Seth locked inside, but now a Patricia?

Oh! Let's not forget the big black booty girl with the badonka butt! What was her name again, Shaniqua?

Dude! You're a modern day Sybil. But with much better living conditions.

I'm totally lovin the chair, but I gotta be honest with ya---the view out that window is sort of scary. I mean, that lawn is perfect. You live in a perfect house on a perfect street. You have a perfect life. And your blog rocks the comments!

Sahweeet.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger MereCat said...

You have a skeleton as a muse! Nice! And as soon as I saw the picture of the chair, sleep was the first thing that came to mind.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 9:58:00 AM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

"Don't mess with me old man, I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew."

I want to work at the bookstore with you! We could have so much fun making fun of people's purchases a la High Fidelity. Of course, we'd never get any writing done.

I can't write at the place that pays me (except the drivel they pay me to write). I usually have to come home, cry and have a few beers. But I do have a plastic skeleton clip-on earring in my cube, not unlike the one you have pictured.

Did we meet at summer camp and realize our parents divorced and split us up?

Sunday, July 13, 2008 11:34:00 AM  
Anonymous LaRue said...

Apparently everyone else has cleaner offices than me. And I even cleaned my office. Sigh.

I may have worked with those guys who shaved your head and called you Patricia back in my days in the Army. As long as you do what they say (and quicky!) you should be okay. I'll keep an eye out for you at the Holiday Party/Interrogator Picnic.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

I'm with kimmyk......for a minute, I thought you lived on a putt-putt course or something!

And the title......"awwwyeah, baby!" is that a la Joey from Real World Hollywood? You crack me up, FADKOG!

Sunday, July 13, 2008 2:25:00 PM  
Anonymous myra said...

I'm totally diggin' that view. And I don't see the problem with writing a book while working in the book store. Tell your manager I said so. And BTW, I came here from Manager Mommy out of curiosity purely because of your blog URL. That is an INXS reference, right?
Myra
wemakethree.com

Sunday, July 13, 2008 6:24:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

Yes, no mildew outside, no dog hair inside. Great work space. Just wondering, what kind of music is on?

Sunday, July 13, 2008 7:47:00 PM  
Blogger TLC said...

I love it. I write at my little Ikea Dave computer table, in the living room. And I have a little Google hard-bound notebook that I write ideas in. I spent a lot of church service writing an idea. Whoops. I write a lot in that notebook?

T.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 8:24:00 PM  
Blogger San Diego Momma said...

OK.
Is God writing your posts? (That light looks like the Divine Fingers of God tickling your laptop.)

Because this read like something God would write. If God were hilarious. Which I think he is.

Deb
sandiegomomma.com

Sunday, July 13, 2008 8:32:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

My narcalepsi chair is a sofa, with the middle all sunk in from my mississippi wide ars planting itself firmly in the middle so no one can read over my shoulder, hang on me, or otherwise bother me! The cats arent good at staying away, but I look at it this way, they wont repeat what they see, and they make great space taker uppers to keep the little people away while I play. Until the dog does one of his flying aces tricks and shakes up the whole gig.

If it werent for the bugs, I would love to sit on my deck and blog, but remember we are in the middle of a boxelder infestation, and the land of 10 bazillion mosquito's, so I digress to the sunken sofa seat!

I have a daughter that will pick something up, and the next day that same odd ball item will be in the same place like it was never put away in the first place.

I want to go back on vacation!

Sunday, July 13, 2008 10:08:00 PM  
Blogger April said...

I will DIE before I post a picture of the disastrous mess I call my home-office on line for the entire world (well, all six people who read my blog) to see. I was supposed to clean it up and I am working on it but it is sooooo not photo opportunity ready. Just tell me you pushed the mess to the side and stuffed the cracker crumbs in between the cushion and the arm of the chair. That way I won't feel so alone. Mmmmkay? Thanks.

Monday, July 14, 2008 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

I need a narcolepsy chair. Although any chair becomes a narcolepsy chair if I have a child in my arms.

Holding a (sleeping) kid is better than taking an Ambien.

Going to have to insist on the "two guys, nipples, bear" story. If you tell it, I will tell my "Not nipples, you mean DIMPLES" story.

After I finish that blasted list, of course...

Monday, July 14, 2008 8:44:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

See, I knew you had the Connection goin' on. . . You thought you were just snappin' a pic of yer laptop on the patio table, but God snuck into the frame, just like the annoying nephew at yer cousin's wedding. . .

Monday, July 14, 2008 9:54:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart in P Towne said...

Inspiration hits wherever...I type in my home office...

I don't think there is enough in that sentance to deserve an entire post.

Monday, July 14, 2008 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger katie said...

You are my balm, Diff Gal! The balm that soothes my blog weary soul! i love where you blog. looks so peacful. right now i am blogging surrounded by dirty dishes, 2 empty dried up yogurt containers, 3 cups of java, a few candy bar wrappers, and half empty box of Lucky Charms. I like your blog environment better i think. :)

Monday, July 14, 2008 10:36:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

For whatever it's worth, I have an almost identical little skeleton hanging at the entrance to my office. Kind of a friendly, symbolic way to tell people, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

Monday, July 14, 2008 10:52:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Hey, I can see the "For Sale" sign in the yard of the house next door. I'm coming!

I don't think anyone wants a picture of where the "magic" of my writing comes from. My cubicle is a mess. TPS reports, anyone?

Word verif: zpmylazy

Sweet. How fitting.

Monday, July 14, 2008 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

LMAO picturing you running away from the teethy & hairy tumor!!

GIVE IT A BITE FOR GOD SAKE!!

Hallie :)

Monday, July 14, 2008 12:41:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

I'm green with envy over that chair. I housesit for a woman with a chair just like that and I've been tempted to steal it, just walk away with it. Lucky!

Monday, July 14, 2008 1:31:00 PM  
Blogger Bunny said...

awww yeah, baby! this is where the magic happens!

I thought we were going to have a whole different kind of photo array after that headline!

Nice homestead you have there. If you figure out how to get your kids to pick their stuff up before the 23rd time you tell them to, let me know. I wish to learn this amazing talent.

Monday, July 14, 2008 2:46:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Bee - FIRST AGAIN!!!!!!!!! The prize is my love!

Bee - The kids think my digs are groovy. If they don't still say those things, they should. Groovy is groovy. And nope, my name isn't really Marla, however, if you'd cry real Corona tears anyway, I'd definitely come bearing limes!

Alice - There's a chance the gift of a disease carrying bird is somewhere on that table. Hell, quite possibly, the same chance is there on the living room chair!

Pam - I hope you don't get seat sores! I'm trying hard to remember it! It was one of those things I jotted down before vacation, so sure I'd remember. Then my Mom drained it from my brain with all her talking!

BP Dad - Sure, it's no stockpile of organic lemonade, which I'm sure is delicious in its own lemony way, but Diet Mountain Dew is my lifeblood, and I was hooked on the very first taste. It's that weak nature of mine that makes me shy away from methamphetimine use. That and I rather like my teeth and hair as they are now. Also, my deck's open to you anytime. We can freebase together on it.

Creative-type Dad - My neighbors can suck it! I figure if they've heard me scream in fright when I see them, they've gotta figure I'm blogging about them. They're probably blogging about me - the crazy chick next door who screams every time they come outside!

1blueshi1 - Get your hands on your laptop and be free to roam the riches! Or seriously, get yourself on of these Narcolepsy Chairs. They are fantastic!

Manager Mom - I spend so much on Diet Mountain Dew it's a wonder that you don't park your vehicle outside a building that bears my name as the owner of said beverage company! See if you can make that happen, eh? I'm sure it would be incredibly easy to rebrand the drink! You're Spawn are going to be well taken care of!

Also, if there were a Narcolepsy Furniture Outlet, all my furniture would come from there. I have a Quasi-Narcolepsy couch. I'm sitting on it now. I just yawned!

Cat - I used to have to write in the basement, tethered to the computer there. It's vile down there, in more ways then one. Embrace the freedom of movement that comes with a laptop as soon as possible!

kimmyk - Seth had been out earlier that day, mowing and trimming (heh..."mowing and trimming." That's probably not even vile, but a 12 year old boy could probably make it so. I know it can be done. I've heard it. We ever meet, we'll hang out on the deck, eat Oreos, and mutually adore the other!

Merecat - I've also had an assortment of Fisher Price Little People and various action figures guide my way (or trip me up). That chair is straight up fantastic. It practically whispers "Come take a nap..." everytime I pass by!

That girl - "Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"

It's shameful, really, how often that scene gets re-enacted at my house!

Working at a newspaper zapped my will to write, but it seems like everyone at the bookstore is a closet novelist, and we're always stopping the other and offering up the outlines for our latestt works. Thus, we get so little actual book selling work done! We do, however, get a lot of 'making fun of the customers' selections' time in, though! I'd have a blast with you.

Also? Totally twins, but not in a creepy, "Where are you going with this, V.C. Andrews?" way!

Larue - I left a comment on your post and then the computer froze! I have to go back, because I was so in agreement with your thought that creativity is messy! I just happened to have cleaned the day I did this!

Cocotte - And when I posted this and went to bed, I completely forgot you used a similar title! I then wondered how many people had the same ideas!

Myra - Thanks for coming by and commenting. The URL is definitely lifted from INXS' 'To Look At You'. I liked the idea of the lyric "what is the name to call for a different kind of girl, who knows the feelings, but never the words," because, quite often, I am guilty of knowing too many words!

Meg - When I took the pictures, it was beautiful silence, but as I wrote, I was listening to an assorted mix of 80s, as well as the Kate Nash cd. I tend to go all over the board.

tlc - I, too, have used entire church services to write posts in the margin of my programs or in a little Goosebumps creepy clown face notebook I keep in my bag for such times when inspiration can't be contained. Thanks for coming over and commenting!

San Diego Momma - God routinely makes me pee my pants when I laugh. Sometimes I tell to be quiet a minute so I can take a drink without spitting on him, and he always agrees, but then as soon as I take that first swallow, he does something that sets me off again. You definitely want God at your parties! Thanks for your comment!

Lori - My deck is becoming a bit like my castle, for the yard is filled with birds and rabbits, and when I go outside, they all gather around me, as though I were a Disney princess. That, or I have some creepy ability to talk to animals. Either way, they're reading my stuff while I write it, and they're a little too opinionated, if you ask me!

April - Last week, I blogged with my laptop shoved up between a butcher block filled with knives, a banana tree holding claim to a bunch of rotting fruit, five CDs, a stack of magazines and one precariously placed glass of water, so not every day is perfect when I am inspired!

Melody - Oh, I have a sleeping child story to write soon, if only I could stay awake to write it!

Des - God will eventually really get through to me, one of these days. That, or he's really just wanting to cop a drink of my Diet Mountain Dew! I hope it's that, and not that he wants to stick his tongue out, pretend to be copping a feel of my ass, or making rabbit ears behind me like that annoying newphew dude!

Bogart - Most often, I'm never near my house when I'm inspired, and most of that time, I never have any paper nearby. The world is missing out!

Katie - Awww! You're too sweet! I used to write at the PC in my basement, but only nasty things happened down there, so yeah for being in the light! And what I told April up there is more often the case for where I write, so I'm down with your blogging conditions!

Twobusy - I'd totally be coming over and bugging you in your office, I think. That skeleton would come to take on an entirely different meaning. More an "I hope this serves as a warning that she should go to her own workspace and get something done!" system.

ftn - Did you notice the view, Numby?! RIGHT INTO MY FRONT WINDOW!! And look how nicely I tend my yard and keep up the property. We could BBQ on the deck. I've got it all planned out. Why have you not yet made an offer?!

WWoW - That thing looked like it could scream out my name if I ran away from it!

Meg - Oh, if you could do it, and then fashion some makeshift attempt at hiding the theft, I highly recommend you make your way out with that chair the next chance you get. It is perfection!

Bunny - If I ever figure out how to get my kids to pick up before the 23rd time, I'll write a book, autograph it, and send it to you! Except they won't let me write it at work, so who knows if I'll get to it!

And ha! Yeah. There's no pictures of that magic. Except the ones Numby gets, but he's not sharing!

Monday, July 14, 2008 2:57:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Look! I'm last! (I'm always last because I'm always late.)

I love what you, God, and Patricia are dishing out. Inspirational. I also love having a laptop but do you ever have that problem where it's a really hot day and you've got this great post in mind but all you end up thinking about is how the laptop is burning your crotch? And don't you think the radiation would have killed the bikini fuzz?

Monday, July 14, 2008 5:56:00 PM  
Blogger Wethyb said...

Now I'm last :)

You're too funny! I can't even get myself a laptop, but I would sure love one! Then I could actually keep up on all of my blogger buds :)

Funny skeleton too!

Monday, July 14, 2008 8:55:00 PM  
Blogger Chag said...

I was going to do this, but I doubted she wanted a picture of my recliner. And then I would have had to straighten up the room. And move a few things around. And remove anything that has a picture of anyone. And...

I just said screw it.

Monday, July 14, 2008 8:57:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

i love how you type "nipples."

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 3:40:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Weirdgirl - It's hilarious that you say this (and I laughed heartily and loudly in my kitchen at 10 p.m., last night), because the night before, I was on the couch watching Discovery Channel porn with my husband, and the laptop perched on my thighs was seriously making me sweat, and I asked my husband if he thought if I emailed Discovery Channel, they'd explore the longterm impact of laptop heat on the crotch, because if we ever decide to have another child, I think I'm actually going to give birth to a robot! And sigh, my husband said he doubted that, but he figured I had that laptop on my lap so long, I could probably warm up a hot dog. Yeah. I bred with this man...

Wethyb - I got mine last fall, and next to my husband and kids, it's the thing I love the most. That's how exciting my life is!

Chag - I should have just taken mine at Panera or Starbucks and made myself look like an official writer!

Always Home - I whisper and sigh when I type it, too.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 8:47:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I'll be right over to jump in the chair!!!

(I had to take a brief intermission--would it surprise you to know that I've let the kids stay up until 4am every night since school has been out--ha, didn't think so.)

I have the strange desire to sing that skeleton song....the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone!

I am getting loopy sleepy...I'll be back. :D

Thursday, July 24, 2008 6:12:00 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Well, I just love the fact that you have a nice space to write and be inspired. I blog in my basement. I write on a PC in tiny corner surrounded by 3 screaming kids and 2 dogs trying to sniff my butt. Ahhhh the glamorous life.

Thanks for visiting Mommy Confessions. I am really enjoying reading your blog.

Sunday, July 27, 2008 11:33:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nan - My sweetie! Come back to me! Gah! Get those kids to bed first, though! Bring them to the Narcolepsy Chair! They'll be out by 11 p.m., at the latest!

Michelle - I used to blog in my basement, in a tiny space carved out among piled papers and a kabillion toys, on a PC that was nothing short of questionable. At the moment, I'm blogging on my couch, with screaming kids, a borrowed dog and a pile of laundry that needs folded. So the space for creativity, I guess, is what we make of it!

Sunday, July 27, 2008 9:22:00 PM  
Blogger VDog said...

I love the attention to detail you put into this post!

Monday, July 28, 2008 10:42:00 PM  

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