all is quiet on new year's day? where. I want to go there.

Guess what. It's the end of 2008, and after a year of wordy word wordiness (tm), I've got nothing profound to share with you this New Year's Eve, which is fitting, really, because you're right. I've not really had much of anything profound to say to you all year (except maybe to you, Numby, to whom I say BOOBS! However, don't panic. I'm sure 2009 will bring more of the same).

What? You think I can't hear you muttering to your partner there in the back? I heard you. I'm a mom. It's a standard super power that comes with the territory. My kids still don't believe that's the case, even though earlier this year, I damn near had my oldest son convinced I was Wonder Woman. For real. Had I been able to pull off the invisible plane flight thing, I'd have been golden.

Speaking of my kids...OMG!! Remember when you were a kid and two weeks off for Christmas break was like the most amazing thing you ever could imagine outside of the eternity that was summer vacation? Well..haha...then you become a grown up and you decide to have kids and then those kids get two weeks off for Christmas break, and seriously!! I'm writing to you now from the grave because they have killed me!! You know I mean it because I just twice now used multiple exclamation points, and if there's one thing I like to keep to a minimum, it's punctuation. The only things I like in multiples are orgasms, scoops of ice cream, and episodes of my favorite show. Punctuation should be dished out in single servings. Especially periods, which I'm sorry, I realize I wrote about those a lot in 2008, and, sigh, guess what? I'm capping out the year with one because when the big ball drops at midnight, why would I want to be having sex, anyway? How boring! How predictable! YAWN!

(besides, that yawning business? Yeah, Tool Man will have been yawning so much prior to the New Year's countdown that he'll be asleep by 10:30 p.m., anyway)

But back to my kids and punctuation...

These kids have brought out the ZOMG!!! in me this week. Perhaps it's because their break started two and a half days earlier than planned due to the weather. Plus, get this - they go back to school on Monday, but then they have an early out on Wednesday. Because why not?

Oh, also? Around 11:45 p.m., last Sunday night, my Tool Man told me he wasn't working this week, either. So we've all been together. Happily. Loudly. Since last Wednesday. Toss my sister, her husband and their two daughters, shake it up with my Mom's neurosis, and my Dad's flitting in and out, and what a delightful cocktail you have.

Seriously - does anyone have a cocktail? Because I could really use one (and by one, I mean more than one. Because I should have also said I like my drinks in multiples of two, also. In fact, I'd willingly ingest enough at this moment for all of you to speak in hushed tones and worried voices, then gather together and stage an intervention for me in 2009).

I have no real resolutions for 2009. In the past, most of my resolutions were to, and I quote from the FADKOG Diaries dated 1983-1993, "find a kick ass boyfriend," but since marrying Tool Man in 1994, he tends to frown when I put that one at the top of my list. I assure him it's not like I've ever kept any of the resolutions I've ever made (except for him, of course, and yet, after this much time together under one roof this week, he's probably wishing he'd have bailed on me back in 1993 like all those other boys who didn't turn out to be quite so kick ass).

Since I have no real resolutions, I'll give you my fake ones:

• Be super wordy while maintaining a fine balance of saying nothing at all
• use the word boob and/or boobs as often as possible
• retain some kick ass-ability
• try yoga

I think I'm good for about three of those, since it's hard to quit doing what you do all the damn time, anyway. I'll end this here, then, since I apparently have to go blow the dust off my yoga DVDs and work on my downward facing dogs. I also have to go steel myself for some more family together time because I'll be spending my New Year's Eve at my niece's sixth birthday party. That's how the rock stars roll, yo.

Look at that. I told you I had nothing to say, and yet I filled this with a ton of nothing AND injected yet another video from my love. I'd say it's been a banner year.

Happy New Year's to all of you.

(BOOBS!)