if you like it then you better watch it six or seven more times. now put your hands up. seriously. where are your hands? oh oh oh oh oh oh!

When it comes right down to it, the list of things I hate in this world - a list, it should be noted, which shouldn't to be confused with a tits list - is really quite small. The following represents a sampling of what the list contains:

• Social injustice
• Sweating
• The crisis in Darfur
• People who constantly inject the question "You know what I mean?" into their conversations (sidebar: this doesn't include The Great Neil Diamond, who has a song titled If You Know What I Mean that includes that query several times throughout its few minutes of magic, and I think I've made it abundantly clear Mr. Diamond gets a big old pass with me)(sidebar part deux: I couldn't think of the title of this particular song, so I googled 'if you know what I mean+Neil Diamond lyric' and got Duh! and If You Know What I Mean and You call yourself a Neil Diamond fan? among my results)

Also on the list of things I hate is Beyonce. I imagine many of you nodded in agreement as you read my list, but then you got to Beyonce and became incredulous, wondering "Wha?! What's Beyonce ever done to you, Fadkog?" Well, the answer is plenty, but I've narrowed it down to one thing in particular - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) (though, truth be told, as much as I hate that song, I positively loath If I Were A Boy, but for this post, we're talking Single Ladies). I really despise that song, and grew quite weary of the various copy cat videos that have been released. That is until I turned on my laptop Wednesday afternoon and saw this:

What? You were expecting the literal version of Total Eclipse Of The Heart? Pish posh, my friends! So played out! But this? This moment of semi-stale pop culture tweaking? THIS is divine! Seriously, I don't know what that clip is all about (and I don't want to tell you how many of the million-plus views are mine) What I want to do is thank those of you who alerted me to it! Even though I'd already watched it numerous times after noticing it was the number one trending topic on Twitter Wednesday, I watched it again (times five)(don't even ask me my favorite part for I love it all)(particularly the 3:20 mark) for each alert I got from you!

For you. I did it for all of you who take such good care of me.

And for these:

Can't tell what I'm referring to? Well, go ahead. Click the photo.

Slowly.

Make it bigger.

(somewhere, Simon LeBon is bitching because I never talked like this about him when I was 16)

OK, if you don't want to click it or fear a coworker passing by your desk and seeing you with a giant leotard-clad Joe Jonas on your computer screen, let me just fill you in. Take a gander at those thighs! I believe the medical definition of that condition is called "Oh my" and "GOD!"

(also, I think the fact I used the word gander up there is proof I'm too old to be enjoying multiple viewings - and that's the ONLY thing that's being enjoyed in multiples, btw - of a 19 year old, completely legal man...in a leotard...but hold on...give me a second...)(also? so very not too old)

In case you can't read my serial killer/10+ years as a newspaper reporter computerized handwriting up there, I've named Joe's right thigh God and his left one Thunder. The space between the two, that perfectly harmless void, I've dubbed O'. Because I had to.

So...yeah....

Before I cap off this post (it should be noted that, in my head, it was WAY shorter), I must add that, as most of you already know, Twilight and all things Twilight-related are on my list of things I hate. In fact, it tops my list. I mean, I hate to sweat, but more than weird vegetarian vampires and zombie girls? Hardly! The trailer for the second movie, New Moon, was released this week and some of you have shared your love for it, which I then playfully ragged about all over your comments (and honestly, step back and look at it..can you blame me?!). So, to all you PMSy vampire and yawn-inducing wolf lovers out there, we're even.

You know what I mean?