...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, June 01, 2009

tits list 2: bigger, badder and bouncier!

Sunday morning I woke up, opened up the house, and plopped on the couch to bask in the adoration of my loving family. Alas, they were all outside and I was left alone to ponder my breakfast all alone. In case you're wondering, I went with the generic strawberry toaster pastry (seriously, what is with the skimpy frosting on these things?! back in my day, kids, Pop Tarts were frosted tips to toes, and we enjoyed them after rounding up the chickens, churning our butter, and helping Ma birth a the spring calves).

Anyway, while I was sitting on the couch enjoying my breakfast (also? I wasn't really enjoying it, for I prefer the brown sugar cinnamon toaster pastries that SOMEONE had finished off, but I'm not naming names, Tool Man), I picked up the scent of something truly delicious filling the house. Instantly, I realized I was picking up the succulent bouquet of bacon wafting through the windows! "Is this heaven?" I wondered. Not likely, I quickly deduced, for I (once again) had gotten up too late for church (sorry, G), and I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to be rewarded for that with the fantastic smell of fried pork filling my nostrils. "Then I must be dreaming," I decided. Alas, neither Zac Efron or Joe Jonas paraded through the living room as confirmation of that.

Then I decided that if I had the ability to write a Tits List, I would absolutely place "the succulent scent of bacon" on said list (along with Zac and Joe)(not necessarily wearing bacon)(but I'd not be adverse to such thing). Then I thought "You know what? You need to combine your love of bacon and other random things and update your Tits List right this second!" However, I didn't do it right that very second for I had to finish my breakfast, then finish a book, then I watched an episode of Food Network Challenge (ice cream challenge!), then I took a little nap, and started a new book.

Anyway, long story short, I didn't get to my updated Tits List until this morning, and I'm going to share it with you here (editorial note: Before any of you delightfully new readers - hi! - start thinking I'm a freak - kind of am! - and to serve as a reminder to those of you who may have forgotten, my list of things I think are the tits have nothing to do with breasts at all, though you can pretty much assume they are also on these lists, and is more a run down of things I think are cool and/or totally awesome at this given moment. I just re-read my previous list from last August (and the January addendum, which many of you reminded me wasn't technically a list since it only included one item, but perhaps you've picked up on the fact that I'm a wee bit wordy...), and found that many of those items I still consider quite awesome. Here's their new friends:

Still More Things I Think Are The Tits
  • Q-tips (hello, eargasms!)
  • Russell Brand
  • frozen Snickers
  • Turbo Jam
  • non-habit forming sleep aids
  • sleeping with the windows open (thanks to non-habit forming sleep aids)
  • Rimmel Lasting Finish Intense Wear lipstick in Temptation (a perfect reddish-brown)
  • the way my youngest son adopts a British accent while talking to me
  • one (or two) perfect glasses of cheap red wine while on the deck while lightening bugs pass
  • your comments (seriously! I totally mean it!)(sorry I've sucked at responding of late!)
  • ponytails
  • driving with the mini's window's down and singing along loudly when She's So High and/or Drops of Jupiter come on the iPod. Ah, the classics...
  • Seth Green
  • A tub of Cool Whip and a spoon and no one around to watch
  • Ace of Cakes (and my desire to be Mary Alice)(and be around cake all day)
  • crossword puzzles
  • the two mourning doves that sit outside my kitchen window every morning
  • Reece's peanut butter Whoppers
  • The Deadliest Catch (and by that I mostly mean Edgar Hansen)
  • 44 ounce refills of Diet Mountain Dew from Kum & Go
  • matinees with my Tool Man
  • Grease 2

Now it's your turn! Please share with me some of the things you think are the tits at the moment, and then let us enjoy a heaping plate of bacon together (maybe while you sing me the chorus of the new song from the Jonas Brothers...but no pressure...we can start with the bacon...)!

Labels:

50 Comments:

Blogger TwoBusy said...

And here I was, thinking that my wife was the only Tal Bachman fan in the western hemisphere.

I stand corrected.

Monday, June 01, 2009 9:15:00 AM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Duff rocks my world. And why not Sig Hansen?

Hallie :)

Monday, June 01, 2009 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Starbucks Dark Chocolate Mocha Bars. Oh, and the Dark-Chocolate-Covered Espresso Beans.

And, uh, matinees with Molly are pretty darn cool, too (altho, it would be the better part of discretion for me to avoid getting into any sort of, uh, comparison in the, uh, 'tits' department. . .)

Monday, June 01, 2009 9:57:00 AM  
Blogger Xavier said...

Um, your list is missing it's, uh, signature entry......

Just thought you'd like to know. 'Cause I'm a fan. Of corectness, that is ...


'jusso' you know.

Monday, June 01, 2009 10:13:00 AM  
Blogger Betsey Booms said...

I have not been able to read either one of those books yet and it's KILLING me! Do you hear me (no, obviously not) killing me!

Oh and I want french fries right now too.

With lots of ketchup!

Monday, June 01, 2009 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

Wait...can I tell you I snicker every time I read about the Kum and Go? I can't help it.

Also, I'll be on Ace of Cakes with you. I love that show and how they're all friends and they do crazy stuff to each other and make AWESOME cakes. love it!

Monday, June 01, 2009 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

The online book ordering at my public library. Books galore, ordered up at home and an e-mail when they are ready for pick-up. LOVE IT!

Monday, June 01, 2009 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

Double stuffed Oreos
Shaun of the Dead
LaLa's developing English accent
Comments on my blog from FADKOG ;)

Monday, June 01, 2009 10:57:00 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

You had me at eargasm.

I made a list of my own...
http://jaycoxcircus.blogspot.com/2009/06/little-list-of-my-own.html

Monday, June 01, 2009 11:15:00 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

seth green? really?

Monday, June 01, 2009 11:22:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Xavier, I think your concerns were covered in the previous list. . .

But, you know, that's one of those things that you never get tired of talking about, isn't it?

;)

Monday, June 01, 2009 11:37:00 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

I'm not a HSM or Jonas brothers fan (I don't think my kids are old enough). But I'm kind of obsessed with Gossip Girl.

Monday, June 01, 2009 12:07:00 PM  
Blogger Chasity said...

Strawberry toaster strudels

Hot air popped popcorn with salt, butter, and oregano

The curls in my baby boy's hair that I refuse to cut off

The promise of summer pool passes

Burt's Bees lip balm with clove oil

The fact that my neighbor is actually mowing her lawn this summer (it got mowed 3 times total all last year)

My too tight jeans in January are falling off me in June.

The books Ender's Game and I Love You Beth Cooper

I think that should about cover it for this morning. :)

Monday, June 01, 2009 12:14:00 PM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

the first bite off the tip of the traingle that is summer watermelon...

waking up and realizing you still have an hour to sleep...

the movie Up....really awesome, and even better when your kids get all the subtle nuances of the film in that they think 'outside' the film...(and if you don't know what I mean, tuff doo-doo)

thinking that this would be an awesome way for me to start my first post this week....

Monday, June 01, 2009 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger Legallyblondemel said...

I will never look at a Q-Tip the same way again.

Some things on my list for this week:
- All Dave Matthews, all the time on my satellite radio (yes, I am secretly a frat boy circa 1994, what of it?)
- job that allows me the occasional assistant (ie, Pug) visit, like today
- big city trip planned & theater tickets to investigate

Monday, June 01, 2009 1:35:00 PM  
Blogger Whitemist said...

-My list would start with a back massage by my friend Jenny.
-if I don't get to dreamy with that it would add a smoked grilled salmon in my back yard.
-The doves David raises in the back yard.
-The short lived, but extremely fragrant wild white roses in the front yard.
-The vegetable/herb/flower garden.
-Sitting on the porch on a warm summer day with kids playing in the neighborhood.
-My last would be a Rekie session by my friend Courtney.

Monday, June 01, 2009 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger Meandering Me said...

-Bacon. (You really had me at Bacon. There are a lot of bacon jokes at my expense around my place. A LOT.)

-Lazy Sunday Afternoons

-Homemade delicious cake with whipped cream frosting and coffee - FOR BREAKFAST. (That's how I roll!)

I think I have to make a tits list...

Monday, June 01, 2009 2:30:00 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Coffee.
Coffee.
Tits (and associated other parts and activities, you can figure out the specifics yourself).
Coffee.

Monday, June 01, 2009 4:08:00 PM  
Anonymous abdpbt said...

Umm. How about the fact that there is an establishment called "Kum & Go"? Anywhere.

Monday, June 01, 2009 5:40:00 PM  
Blogger jennyonthespot said...

Firstmost... when you wrote , "two mourning doves" I thot you wrote "two MOUNTING doves", and I was all "EEEEEW!". But that's not what you said. But I kind of think it is entirely possible you might consider mounting doves "the tits". Just sayin'.

The first item on my list will not wow you.

Glitter.

Let's see, what else...
baked goods (perferably with frosting and all made of chocolate), the fact that my braces are coming off TOMORROW - that is THE TITS! Also...free money. I am a huge fan of free money. Not sure where to find it tho.

Monday, June 01, 2009 6:05:00 PM  
Blogger blissfully caffeinated said...

I'm trying desperately to ignore how disturbed I am at that your local convenience store is called the Kum & Go. I'm sure there are many jokes to be inserted here (ha!) but I can't kum up with one.

I thought you would like to know that my husband thinks Q Tips are the next best thing after oral sex. Well, really they have replaced oral sex for him, since he so rarely enjoys oral sex. Instead he has an eargasm at least twice a day. I find Q Tips all over the house and in the laundry. And if I try to sneak Target brand cotton swabs in the dispenser he flips the f%&* out. They have to be Q Tips. I figure if they keep him happy, it's worth the extra buck. Ya know.

(And I'm so proud that I've managed to use the phrases "oral sex" and "kum & go" all in one comment. You're welcome for all of the new readers that will now find you through combining various combinations of those key words in a google search.)

Monday, June 01, 2009 6:52:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

A TiVo full of unseen "In Plain Sight" eps, a bag of pistachios and thou.

Monday, June 01, 2009 6:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

Watching the Buffy the Vampire series, while crocheting, munching on mint chocolate chip icecream, swilling a Stella Artois beer and having my husband rub my feet.

Or any other part of my anatomy.


That my dear is my definition of the perfect tit's list.

Monday, June 01, 2009 8:35:00 PM  
Blogger HoodChick said...

Mmmm bacon. You forgot to put Brown Sugar Cinnamon pop tarts on the list. Damn, now that isn't going to make a very healthy bed time snack.

My "in the moment" tits list:
Albinos (which I may have to explain at some post)
Late night summer lightening storms (that don't screw up the sunshiny days)
Lemon cake with lemon icing (made fresh yesterday, now competing with the pop tarts to cause the next lump on my ass)

Monday, June 01, 2009 8:39:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

You know what's the tits? Writing about boobs (sorta) and penises (kinda) in back to back posts. I like to bring the classy here to the ole ...for a different kind of girl!

Monday, June 01, 2009 8:45:00 PM  
Blogger Margarita said...

I love Seth Green and Frozen Snickers Bars.
Soulmates.

Monday, June 01, 2009 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Peppermint tea.

Planters that are in full bloom.

Wet dog noses.

Monday, June 01, 2009 11:28:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Your youngest talking to you in a British accent. That's on my list.

vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup... gonna go get me some. Can't get it off my mind.

Ripe bing cherries.

Yoga. Never thought it would make the list, but it has.

My kids telling ridiculous jokes that they find hysterical.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 12:03:00 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

(Said in the voice of Homer Simpson, upon seeing donuts)MmmmMMmm Q-tips lmao.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 6:27:00 AM  
Blogger musingwoman said...

New to my list: Matt Pond PA's song, Measure 3, that Two Busy introduced me to.

http://tinyurl.com/coku5k

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 6:41:00 AM  
Blogger Dana's Brain said...

Dunkin Donuts vanilla creme filled donut. If there can be considered a donut of the gods, that sucker is IT!

I haven't read either of those zombie books yet - and I totally need a new book to read. I have read "World War Z" though. You should pick that up.

Fresh picked strawberries make my list too.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 7:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Sam said...

In Touch Weekly and finally getting a pedicure after walking around outside barefeet for the past month.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 7:32:00 AM  
Blogger Chris Wood said...

Bacon, Robbie Fulks, pizza, bacon (again), beer, roast beef, coffee are all the tits. Also, breasts are the tits. I'm pretty sure on that.

(btw, that's the SECOND time I've fallen for this ... groan, mumble etc)

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 8:32:00 AM  
Anonymous zelzee said...

Sunshine and 75 degrees
Hugs
White Russians
Fridays at 4:30
....and of course....
Cancer remission

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 8:46:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

So. . . is yer next post gonna be about vadges?

Just, you know, wondering. . .

;)

WordVer = 'fightneu'. But you know I'm a lover, not a fighter. . .

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 9:14:00 AM  
Anonymous DCUrbanDad said...

Grease 2?????????

Really?

You had me at Q Tips but lost me at Grease 2.

Burgers
Milkshakes
Foot massages
Scalp massages
Anytime someone touches my bod to massage me.
Friday afternoons.
Sat mornings.
The feeling after a long run.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 9:18:00 AM  
Blogger msprimadonna67 said...

Seriously? I missed the Food Network Challenge Ice Cream edition? Oh, that makes me sad! And by the way, Seth Green ROCKS!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Badass Geek said...

I think a glass of ice-cold water is the tits. Mostly because I'm thirsty right now.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 10:57:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt Juicebox said...

Grease 2 was my favorite movie when it first came out (which I mean to say out on regular free tv cuz that's when I finally got to see it.) I used to daydream about the guy picking me up on his bike.

And Seth Green? The awesome. I just watched Airborne on Netflix the other day. I love that movie also because 1)It was filmed at my old high school/in my neighborhood 2)At the time they made it I worked at a skating rink where we used Rollerblades and I knew some people who tried out for the movie 3) It also has Jack Black in it. Double score. 4) Hockey isn't all that big around here, but they make it seem like it is. 5) Just go watch it.

Cool whip is best still frozen, and have you had those mini frozen pretend snicker ice cream bars?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 11:38:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

The warm weather, which not only gives you an excuse to drink cold, alcoholic beverages, but makes them all the more enjoyable...

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger Bogart in P Towne said...

What is Turbo Jam?

And it warms me inside that you would shop at a place called Kum & Go.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:38:00 PM  
Blogger PAPATV said...

The tits list:

thecoolhunter.net - great pics of the worlds top spots - love it!

my yet to be disclosed new site

transformers II

and...

summer is here!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:55:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Chai Tea Lattes

This ice cream from Walgreens and I can't remember the name but it's chocolate with caramel swirls and chocolate covered nuts and and it's all gooey and its AWESOME!

Dollhouse - even though it's over

Talking to strangers - I don't know what it is but that's just been working for me lately.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:58:00 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

the taste of cold diet coke
the feeling after I'm doing swimming
the feeling after my kid is in bed, happy and tired.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 5:10:00 PM  
Blogger Ilina said...

I'm with you on Ace of Cakes. As for the Cool Whip, I'm going with the spray kind of whipped cream. I love the whipped cream shots. In fact, I'm so getting these boys to bed so I can start the fun. Oh, and Grease 2? Really? That makes my taste in movies sound downright Cannes worthy. I heard the captains from Time Bandit on NPR today. Love them.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 5:43:00 PM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

Those are lovely tits.

I'm stuck on the fact that there's a store called "Kum & Go" but other than that... really lovely.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 6:48:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

I love Grease 2!! I thought I was the only one phew!

Also, I'm so buying that lipstick!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 9:36:00 PM  
Blogger Bex said...

when you said, "sorry, G" were you talknig to God? that's kind of funny.

this is the first i've heard of a tits list.

pride and prejudice and zombies has been on hold for me at the library for 5 months!!!! i think i'm next in line - i better be!

ace of cakes rocks my world! is on my tits list too, now that i have one that is.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

kidding! is this the longest comment ever? no? ok, i'll keep trying.

for real, my tits list includes:

addictive sweet potato burritos

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/bean_lovers/93761

real coke (i mean the cola)

the internet

the library (even though they make me wait!)

talking like a pirate - argh!

new sheets

to do lists with everything checked off!

naps

are you ready to kill yourself from boredom? ok, i'll stop there.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

There are no words for my love of Russell Brand. NO WORDS.

I love him more than bacon, really.

Is that wrong?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 11:59:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

* Me.

* My ass.

* You

* (likely) Your ass

* Burberry.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 8:19:00 PM  

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